Yes, that's a statement of sarcasm on the whole OMG ITALY PLAYING SHIT FOOTBALL AGAIN!!!!! And trust me when I say there are still ppl moaning abt the same ol' tactic, same ol' Italy. Not so when vs other teams barring Spain anyway. So let's get this fact clear. The Italians don't play blood and thunder. Barring the very fact that mafia will always be their iconic nemesis barring Al Pacino himself, the Italians are very damned well known for their technical defense. So bloody technical, the only fault cynics will find in them is... well shit football. Altho their brand of "No more pasta!" football is anything but shit on the technical scale. Simply put, they can break you down, they can troll you by saying "hey we owned your country in everything especially the football, cuisine and the bella donna!" while flooring you with an Italian (smash & grab) job. Very damned iconic. Second only to Super Mario Bros no thanks to Nintendo itself. So with all the stupid jokes out of the way, let me just pinpoint who to look out for.
I'd like to say Ballotelli, but he's no Super Mario. And quite obviously, the blokes at Nintendo forgot to add in a black bloke as the 3rd guy in command after Luigi himself. In fact I lol'ed hard upon seeing Cassano's name. Simply put, Cassano isn't a black. Stupid ppl will start to sing stupid songs just b/c Ballotelli is... well a black. But srsly speaking, if there's anything to go by, Cassano might have realized that barring this final hurrah, he might have screwed his life upside down. Compared to Ballo, he doesn't have much time, he's gonna make full use of the talent he has all the while. Now or nvr. Which is why I've pinpointed him as the key man. To see a guy behind two blokes, that just means one thing. Pirlo is gonna run his ass off the ground again if not for the very fact that he's actually part of Gattuso and co's generation. If this fella is gonna play a more withdrawn role similiar to Xavi, then w/o a doubt it will be Ballo and Cassa going forward as the main threats. Both have talent. Bundles of it. But if there's anyone most likely to produce the goods, it will be Cassano. Back then, he was a bloody Freddy for the opponents and an equally bloody Jason for his own team. Don't believe me, ask the Roma blokes last time round. Ballo's time will come, but def not now, not here.
In a very weird sense, Cassa can also go a long way in calming down Ballo since they're in the same boat so as to speak. Whatever Ballo has pulled off, Cassa most likely would have been there. Barring that "I blow up my bathroom for the lulz" fiasco b/c Cassano has nvr gone to England. But still there is a possibility for Cassano to say "Hey bro! I know you're trouble, I know you're a black. But srsly I don't give a flying damn b/c someone actually said something abt 11 guys reduced to 10. So why not take my cue, take a deep breath and channel your anger onto the pitch rather than that human being before you? De Rossi can take care of himself fyi". ofc this is just a stupid skit I cooked out of the oven, but still a lot actually hinges on these two with Cassano being the only hope of containing Ballotelli. It's either the Italians make salamis out of the opponents or they become national salamis themselves. Due to the most obvious I'm not gonna state here.
Now on Spain. Nothing much of hoo-ha, I'll have to say that barring the Dutch, they're the most stable team so far. Barring Villa getting crocked for good until the tourney ends. So key guy? Allow me to play the moron and say Pique. Yes, I'm talking abt a defender where in fact we're talking abt Spain. Why? Simply put, Fergie's greatest cock up was down to this fella. Back then when he was released, I was like " MAN U MAD????!!!!" Turns out I was right when Barca snapped him up and the rest is history. Yes, anti-Utd blokes, you all may laugh the last now. Not that I'm part of either camp anyway. -.-; So now no Puyol, who then? Pique. ofc there's Ramos as well, but still I'm not too sure how he's gonna measure up compared to Mr Shakira. Not that he got the girl, but rather in a team where any leeway of screw ups will mean actual death for the team, Pique's burdens can be seen as relatively heavier. Ramos has Mourinho, Barca needs Pique. Case in point: The most spectacular collapse masterminded by Roberto "New contract pls?" Di Matteo. Simply put, mentally he will and should be far more composed. Not that Ramos is still the kind of cardbait when he was just an upstart anyway. (Or is it Busquets? Screw the Segios and the El Classico) If the Spanish defence got breached, they're in trouble. Maybe not so much vs other teams, but Spanish salami will be on the table for this match alone.
Croatia. Bilic is a renowned rocker. Or something along that line unless my memory got it wrong. The Croats also know how to rock the shit out of their opponents. Most notably England albeit the English would have their own revenge much later. The arrow fired from the Croatian Longbow was bloody priceless tho. ["Wake up! You did not score your two goals because you had two strikers up front, we were simply the better team."=pwned] Two key guys: Modric and Jelavic. We know the guy from Spurs, but then again Bilic has to thank Moyes as well despite Mr Everton being part of the great (ex) British Empire. Of course I believe Bilic would have known Moyes is a Scot. Of course we all know how the history goes in all things Scots. Now if only we can summon William Wallace's soul just to ask whether Moyes is related to him or not since we all know Mel Gibson is just a poser in the movies. Okay so I digress yet again. I won't mention Modric since he's so famous now. Jelavic. Moyes signed him for a purpose. And we all know it's mission accomplished. If there's anything to go by, ppl will try to nail Modric on the highest priority, but if Jelavic gets the ball, it's still equally troublesome. There's no need for me to say any more further. The only Everton bloke in my church can attest to it. That is provided any one of you can track him down like an Irish hound.
And speaking of the Irish, let me just say that the only thing in common between them and the English is this: Granny. It's a scandal, the greatest obscenity in the face of the British Isles. One got forgiven, the other... I dunno srsly b/c ppl tend to say the national namesake is a bit loopy due to the Superman underwear. But at least I'm willing to give that Irish fruitcake the benefit of doubt. Now at the risk of having Irish wolfhounds running loose in SG, let me just say that Trapatonni will be the key man. A lot of jokes have been made at the expense of the Irish. And quite obviously, the Irish might still be making jokes abt whether dinosaurs DO exist in the Swiss Alps. Racial abuse however should be abhorred for whatever reasons conceivable. Period. Now it's pretty much interesting to see him deploying a 4-4-2 tentatively despite him being an Italian. So what's the gist? A lot of ppl tend to see Robbie Keane as the go-to guy, but they might have forgotten Shane Long. I've seen this bloke play. He can score goals if you give him the time, space and ofc the ball. Granted no more fruitcakes for breakfast, but still I'm gonna say collective effort ftw. Up front, Shane Long shouldn't be dumbed down unless you're dumber than a hamster. Midfield wise, Damien Duff starting is just well... un-Ireland I guess. Backline, it's imperative that St Ledger and Dunne has to marshal the spine. I dunno abt Dunne, but St Ledge wasn't a shabby center back when he was on loan with us back then in the red North East shirt. Weirdly enough, I do have the funny illusion that he's actually a bit more error prone upon deciding that a permanent deal wasn't the way to go. :S
P.S: For some extremely weird reason barring my currently sleep-deprived state, I'm envisioning the Croat chick to be Diarmuid Ua Duibhne's ideal gf. -.-'
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