Something about this bloggie

Ok, I admit that I've failed somewhere before. But anyway welcome. Just a brief intro on what you should expect here:
1. Football. Not gonna post much of that any soon since season is over. :S
2. Anime, Games, etc. Just abt anything conceivable under the Japanese radar barring anything and everything Rule 34. Now that's illegal. Period. -.-;
3. Music. Everything to do with it is listed under the tab.
5. Unacceptable humour: Anything and everything is fair game here. As long as I don't get rounded up by the ISA. -.-'

The Known World=Fantasy world building in process. I: Used to be glossary, now devoted to random rambling; II: Character Concepts; III: Lore.
7. der Wolf=my Fictionpress account under the moniker Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu. A Ranger's Tale is hosted under this page. :)
8. New section now upped. Maybe I should also gun for upping A Ranger's Tale here since I do have this funny feeling that traffic coming to here is way more than whatever I'll get in FP.

Statement of intent: Everything said here is a figment of personal opinion, be it me or anybody commenting. I try to be responsible, but my parents=/=parents of the world.

@Druid of Luhn: Crap. Should have remembered far earlier to give you the credit for your CSS text box code. :(

A/N: But sadly, it seems that your CSS text box code has now been halved efficiency wise. :(

That most important note I should have added: Any images posted in this blog are NOT my own stuff. I got them from Google image search, I don't earn any shit by being a thief and liar. Those responsible for the pictures, rest assured that you all are great artists in your own regards. Sadly, we all know what limited space means in terms of posting.

Latest Note: Changed alignment for my page widgets due to my worry that I can't centre align the thing.

Note on A Ranger's Tale: In case any complaining fella wants to have a legal case with me, let this be known that A Ranger's Tale is rated M by default. I've upped the swearing and somewhat a bit on the dark/gritty factor. You all have been warned, let no little boy and girl enter the forbidden realm.

Latest on ART: A Ranger's Tale now starting to kick back in gear. But I really hate the insanely fluctuating climate here in S'pore.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing. Vid below is yet another ideal OP for A Ranger's Tale.

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Beckoning Tempest-A Lion's Pride

"Remember clearly why you have to live, others surely won't. For even the noblest of heroes have to survive firstly and foremost."
~Garyth Parkins
Year of Birth-NE 200
Year of Death-NE 241


A Ranger's Tale


“So how’s…”

“The patient? Fine, if I say so myself. At least he lives to fight another day…” snorted the poulter in reply to Ross’ concern, “Tell him not to start a fight he cannot win, that’s my advice to the old fart.”

Ross could only stay her tongue as the middle aged man departed in a huff, knowledge of Twong’s temperament being the cause. Looking back at the poultice lodge, the kindly matron pursed her lips. With nary a single word uttered from his mouth, Twong could only rely on wild gestures and incoherent grunts, his struggle against another man’s probing hands proving to be absolute comedy. Indeed only two individuals understood this grouchy old man. Ross was one, Yeovil the other.

“Old fart hates getting touched no matter where, figured you should have known it years ago.”

In spite of his customary barbs, Ross giggled out loud in the middle of a garden finely manicured. Out of the trio, Yeovil was the second oldest after Twong, yet no one else knew his shady past. When she’s merely servant lass of fifteen winters, this rotund man before her laughing eyes was still in jail. If not for Louthes Eliaden reaching a decision to pay his freedom price, Yeovil the Sword would have faced the hangman in public view. Twong at that time was already House Eliaden’s oldest servant and Houseman, the addition of an outlaw angering him to no end. Louthes was content to enjoy their bickering fights, Ross would always be amused by his constant japes amounting to calling Twong a bald old jackass.

“So how’s the girl?”

Caught off guard by Yeovil’s abrupt question, Ross could only nod dumbly. Snorting his approval, the portly man departed with a curt, yet civil salute. Shaking her head in resignation, the kindly maidservant smiled wistfully as Yeovil entered yet another unpredictable bout. Previously, he had thrashed half a tavern. Before then, he entered a joking fest with a group of unnamed youths half way through. Mayhap there’s really a truthful nugget when Louthes received a warning in cynical jest.

This is Yeovil the Sword, number one cutthroat plying his trade on the Endless Straits.


“You sure you don’t know a thing?”

Hye’Na shook her head timidly in front of Yeovil’s iron stare. When Simple Melys sent word that the Head of Home Guards was searching for her, she was still wondering whether it’s due to her snacking secretly in the pantry. Never had she witness the jovial old man displaying such menacing look, a paranoid suspicion suddenly surfaced within her quavering from, that he might just rape her on the spot. After all, flattering compliments were drawn to her like bees to honey, it seems that being different do have its own unique factors.

“Hey, sexy lady! You look pretty lonely here! Wanna have some fun with us?”

“Wow, I really envy whoever the lucky bastard scoring with you… oops, excuse my rudeness, ha ha…”

“You really look like our recently departed Young Mistress… must be because you’re a Cinha as well…”

“Good,” muttered Yeovil, his expression lightening up. As he got up from the wooden chair, he gave her slender shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Stay away from your saviour, for he’s a dark one and reeks of blood.”

Abrupt gale suddenly assailing her covered back, the attractive Cinha maid realized she forgot to close the window. It was daytime and she couldn’t risk getting caught for pilfering food. It wasn’t her wrong to be born with a heavy appetite, getting out as soon as possible became her first priority. Aeranath found her a job and lodging, may the Sanshinki damn her if she let him down.

As she locked the oaken door, she snuck a final look back. ‘Tis a mere simple shack made of stone and wood, Unmei no Hye’Na wondered whether Yeovil was right in judging the unknown Ranger.


“Why did you admit you’re part of them?”

I looked up at him in annoyance. Who's he to boss me around? Not even Ceres does that and she’s pretty much the fiercest girl I've ever come across.

“Because I want to be truthful, that’s why!”

A roaring laughter disturbed the nighttime sky, that man’s visage showing plenty of humour. I never saw someone so weird before, this isn't about manners. Yeah I got myself into stupid situations and my life is full of problems, but does he have to be so blunt? Ceres once said laughing is good for you, laughing at other people is not.

Then he ceased making noise, his towering back facing towards me. Without turning back once, he walked away from my life. When we first met, he called himself a bastard. I don’t know what the word means, but I heard the grown-ups using it many times. Ceres told me not to copy their example though.

“Saints don't exist, boy. So long as you retain the courage to admit your flaws and face this cruel world, ten years from now you'll be a splendid man.”

A splendid man? No one has ever said I’ll be a splendid man. Not even Ceres or Abel. Yet, this bastard can cast a large shadow indeed. A shadow larger than greatest of all heroes…


“So the cub is now awake. Have you grown up a little more?”

Guy Cody looked at the speaker with wary eyes narrowed, sapphire flames simmering within his soul. That bastard remaining alive after all, the young lion desired not to know the reason why. Spring was nearing its end, his blood coursing like burning magma. Memories of combat training in Merseyside staying fresh in his mind, Guy could still remember it was summer back then.

If the Ranger felt any apprehension from Guy’s glaring look, he did not make it show. Lounging casually on a cheap leather couch, his posture was deceptively languid. He could have invited himself an attack, the Kalaran lad was not stupid enough not to notice a longsword sheathed resting against the shoulder. However, the most damning part was the fact that both are in his lodging room.

“Excuse me…” whispered a pretty Sudhlit lass as the hardwood door opened slightly.

“Excuse me, but what you want?” snapped Aeranath peevishly, “A shag with two real men instead of one?”

“Stop this bullshitting, fucker,” snarled Guy, “Ithi’s been through plenty of…”

“Trauma,” finished the True Apostle, “Is that what you want to say? You golden retard, that’s what whores are paid for.”

The lone wolf did not have to wait long for this young lion to crack under his taunting bite, curling snarl and a piercing roar ripped asunder the tense quiet air. Smirking like an actual bastard born, Aeranath merely rooted himself on the spot, azure jewels of icy fire scrutinising sapphire orbs of heated steel. As for the raging lion, he pinned his quarry against the greying wall, simmering anger lending strength to a forearm choking against the obnoxious fellow’s neck.

“This is a whorehouse, I can smell the bitches from five miles out,” Aeranath’s smile retaining still, mirth stark as bare naked sword dissipated like burning flames snuffed out by wintry cold, “Don’t tell me you paid for this kind of room.”

Yeah I paid for the room, you bastard.

Irony behind his thoughts not lost unto him, Guy Cody suddenly remembered a certain episode where he saved a noble girl from getting raped by equally noble lads.

“Fuck you! We paid for her lips and holes!”

“Okay, so what else’s new?”

“Not too shabby for a shitty county, I supposed,” withdrawing his smug expression altogether, Aeranath never bothered himself over his visage exposed in front of a flabbergasted Sudhlit girl, “Wooden floor, wall made of stone… so what else’s new?”

“Cheap bed, cheap lodgings, plenty of shit facing a piss poor bunch. Does that answer your curiosity?”

The gruff speaker turned out not to be Guy Cody, but Moggray Tonn. Majestic build greeting the True Apostle instead of further words, Aeranath offered a nonchalant shrug as his choice compliment. Locking stares against each other, a stifling silence soon made way for tension unspoken, Guy’s heart started to beat rapidly. Any pace faster, the sandy blond would doubt he’s able to survive any longer. Resting a casual hand on his sheathed sword’s hilt, the Ranger approached Moggray’s stiffening form with a lazy swag. Betraying only faintest of wicked smile, Aeranath drifted past the Gaffer of Teesside Division…

…and promptly continuing his stroll without intentional accidents committed.

“Boy,” barked out the Ranger as he took a glance back, his action gone not unnoticed by Guy’s sharpest eye, “Just want to give you some worthy praise.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. That will make me look stupid.”

Maniacal laughter erupting forth, the young lion from Teesside was served a callous reminder of that most damning day in his life.

“After today’s patrolling round, I’m gonna get married, Guy.”

“Good for you, Catts. Elys’ a nice girl, you’re an enviable bastard. Just remember to send invitation.”

“Sure, cretin. At least you ain’t dumb enough to compliment her bedroom skills. I’m the only one who deserves this right, hope you score some girl soon.”

“Been ten years plus one, you’re a splendid lad now,” came the derisive verdict delivered, “Try harder and you’ll be a wonderful man.”

Ithi was roughly shoved into Guy’s room as Aeranath stalked away from everyone’s wide eyed sight. Moggray was shocked by the Ranger’s whimsical tantrum thrown, Ithi blushing furiously after noticing herself somehow in a young lion’s grasp. As for the Sudhlit harlot’s only guardian, he could only afford a frown knitting his brows together, swirling thoughts wondering what had forced a curtly warm tone one decade ago into bitter cynicism.

Bah, fuck it, Guy Cody. Just fuck it and leave him be…


“Karen, I did say this is a dumb idea,” quavered a petite brunette, her raven haired companion trying to erect a brave front before a lustful trio.

“Well, not so a dumb idea since our customers do have exotic tastes,” leered a lean wiry lad, “They would pay a fortune for noble whores.”

“Hey! We’re the nobility!” snapped Karen’s friend, “This is Lady Joenne of House Nances and the noble girl behind me is…”

“Lady Karen of House Tenias,” growled the oldest of three, “How can I forget her face after what her good-for-nothing father did to my only child? To think this happened only two years ago…”

“I… I…”

“I’m sorry for my father’s deeds, right?” snapped the youngest member who looked merely twelve winters old, hot tears streaming down his reddened cheeks, “Try telling that to your old man’s cock! Ol’Jorg’s filly was supposed to be my only friend! Granad Tenias brutally raped her to death!”

“Uh, Karen…” gulped Joenne, “I don’t like where this is going…”

“Allow this humble boy come to your fairest aid then.”

“Huh?” before the wiry youth could register the change in situation, a brutal gash was drawn across his throat while disembowelled on the spot. The remaining two trembled before an androgynous brunette lad dressed in fine linen clothes, a pair of daggers gleaming red toyed about under dimming torches. No joy was shown nor grief, only an expression devoid of emotions. This was truly a puppet made of flesh and bone.

“So what’s your call?” came his deceptive whisper, “Coin or vengeance, life or death? I’ll only count till three.”

Jorg became the first victim as he roared in anger, a dagger biting deeply into his left eye. The unnamed boy could only soil himself before such brutal sight, his only kin weeping geysers of blood. Karen tried gripping onto Joenne’s hand, she soon realised her only solace had slipped into coma. Her heart racing rapidly akin to a mare desperate for escape, she could only rally a certain memory four years back…

…that of a boy towering like a man, a youth casting a very large shadow indeed over her near naked form.

“Forgive me, for Lukas Brun is no hero,” muttered the brown haired lad almost apologetically, his condolences sounding like a horn after slaughter. Hazel green gaze then turned its hunger onto a half-naked Karen Tenias, the inevitable about to befall.

“Most amazing grace not to call this city’s Watch! Heard you calling yourself Lukas Brun.”

The only child of House Tenias tensed up considerably, a familiar stranger greeting her. A man who saved her from getting raped by slavering Orcs, this was an enigma which aroused many questions left unanswered. A Ranger, sellsword, just another victim of her father’s cruelty…

…and mayhap even a non-mortal entity also.

“Got myself busted, huh?” sighed Lukas Brun, his battle stance readied. If the Ranger had any opinions on his latest opponent, however, he never made it show. Not even a slightest smile, that is.

“Let me guess…” mused the dark sellsword, a gloved hand stroking his pointed chin, “Both legs slightly apart with back crouched like a cat… no, this posture of yours is more streamlined… more like a swimmer earning his keep in the sea. So what’s your Truth? Mine’s a wolf, now your turn.”

If there should be any expectations, it would be a dagger flying into the face. Karen got up in response, she cared not for whatever flagrant nudity exposed. Before she could utter a screaming statement, a flock of crows supplanted her presence. Incessant cawing from carrion birds failing to dull a duel’s fatal edge, Aeranath grabbed the weapon by its hilt in middle of flight.

A split instance opening his target up, Lukas Brun dived in for the kill. Crimson fluid was spilt, the blood not belonging to the attacker. The defender never flinching, death was kept leagues away at bay. A grey gauntleted hand being sole sacrificial offering, Lukas instead received a longsword’s keenest bite.

“You took my hand, I can take your life,” with nary a mirth present, a knee was shoved into Lukas’ abdomen leaving his winded. Final statement exacted by the Ranger, his blood shed moments earlier was splattered across Lukas Brun’s beautiful face via a simple flick. Yet, the androgynous brunette refused to bend his knee.

“Good resilience here, dolphin. This wolf is called Aeranath,” flickering sneer accompanying an impromptu introduction, another party abruptly joined the fray.

“Lukas? What the fuck you’re doing here?”

“My, my… ‘tis an unlucky day to get yourself busted,” japed Lukas wryly, “Sorry there, pal.”

Silvery flash streaking towards a startled Guy Cody, only a strong hand halting its course prevented an outright gory death. Fingers handling the finely crafted blade accurately, Moggray Tonn’s rugged build truly belied an astonishing dexterity.

“Sorry there, son,” quipped the Teesside veteran, “Not used to having half a hand instead of one.”

If fair Lukas Brun possessed any answer to the Northern Lion’s sarcasm, nothing was said, for nothing got left behind.

“Slippery bugger slipped away,” grunted Aeranath, “Indeed only dolphins are intelligent enough to pick their own fights.”

“Enough of your childishness!” snapped the old lion, “We got three dead people up on our hands, I feel sorry for the smallest.”

“Don’t we all?” shrugged the True Apostle, “People die in war, one has to gut another to stay alive.”


“Erm… thank you very much, Guy,” blushed Karen, her current muted garb of brown creating a contrast with the simple baby blue dress torn off an hour earlier, “I never expected to meet you here…”

“It’s okay,” murmured the sandy blond, “I never expected people to see me in a whorehouse as well.”

“That’s not my meaning!” exclaimed the noble lady, “Even harlots…”

“…deserve respect?” chuckled the youthful lion, his sandy mane billowing along the sudden strong breeze, “No wonder Alestrial seemed particularly close to you… look around and tell me what you see.”

“Simple layout,” observed the raven haired beauty, “Everything you’ll end up imagining in a tavern.”

“And girls sold into slavery of worst kind,” growled the Kalaran beast in harsh reply, bluish fury flashing like a never ending storm, “Fucking hate this, guess you call it moral instinct.”

Karen giggled in spite of herself, the athletic lad realising what went wrong.

“Err… wait, I’m sorry… I mean…”

“No, ‘tis fine by me,” her sensual lips drew up a smile, “Do you remember that day when we first met? Or maybe I should call it night.”

“You look more like a dove than anything else. If nothing else, then I take my leave. Pardon me for not giving you  a farewell curtsy.”

Those were Guy Cody’s final words before his departure, Karen Tenias’ ever trustful heart reminding her why she chose to cast her lot with a commoner’s boy.

“I remember him standing over the fallen, Joenne. Guy Cody was merely a commoner's son and still remains so. Yet, I can never forget the moment where I witnessed a lion amongst men fighting for my chastity's sake despite being total strangers back then...”

Those words were spoken a day after said ordeal, this was also when the young Maistress of House Tenias ceased her self-indulgent ways.


“So how’s life, Gemma?” smiled Southgate Garrat wistfully before his aging old flame.

“Should I ask you how’s your family, Southgate love?” replied a slim middle aged woman decorated with little wrinkles, “Life as a whore is never easy, figured you should’ve known me.”

The stocky brunette could only suffer regret and heart pangs silently, understanding that some things are not meant to be only made his inner hell worse. Surveying the brothel he purchased for her, he really owed Parnaby Davow some massive debt which money could never resolve.

Don’t worry, Southgate. I got her well covered, I’m not gonna hound you for sum paid.

“So I heard you got into a fit again?”

“Only because Big Gun harassed Ithi and I don’t take kindly any horny bastard treating my girls any worse than they should,” hissed Gemma much to Southgate amusement.

“Funny to know I’ve been trying to evade you, but still guess I can’t forget the past,” a smoking trail was exhaled as the soldier enjoyed his final puff, irony behind his constant escape not lost on him.

“You got a wife, you can’t have me,” huffed the old hen of Pleasure Bode, “I made it bloody clear before, I’ll make it bloodier clear right here, right now.”

“Spare me please, Your Royal Lioness,” guffawing laughter breaking out suddenly, this wasn’t the first time Gemma saw her lover’s idiosyncrasy.

Your Royal Lioness… yep, that’s good enough to call him idiosyncratic. Might as well hurt his prideful ass now, who knows when we’ll meet again?

“I think Ithi likes him, I believe Ithi won't be the last to feel this way. Sorry, Southgate love. Lad is way better a charmer than you decades ago.”

“What? You mean Guy Cody? That’s a barking mad statement, Gemma. No offence intended though.”


Background notes:

A poulter is a physician working under any given noble House. Due to healing being an art much sought after, poulters are often pledged to their respective Houses for life with taking unofficial leave tantamount to high treason.

Sanshinki: Trinity pantheon of Furthest East, they serve as the Cinha's only deities. Its members are listed below.

He-Who-Must-Be-Given-Praise; Tsurugi no Gou'Ryeo-Depicted as a handsome youth tall and strong, he is the patron god of warfare. Legend has it that he led the first fathers of Cinha lineage to constant victory against the foul beings called Oni while riding without armour and armed with his fearful yedo, Ame no Habakiri.

She-Who-Is-Wise-And-Beautiful; Mirai no Silla-Depicted as a naked beautiful lady lithe and seductive, she is the matron goddess of politics and intrigue. Lauded for her ability in clairvoyance, she was said to be the mother of all civilisations. Her only weapon was a clear bronze mirror, Yata no Kagami.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Revealed; Rounin no Baekje-Depicted as a fourteen year old boy bearing an unsightly scarred countenance, he is rumoured to be the only son born from Tsurugi no Gou'Ryeo and Mirai no Silla. Shunned by his parents, he managed to strike a deal with them. In exchange for deity status, he cannot take any followers unless through their own choice. Known as the child god of every outcast, the necklace of precious stones held in his hand goes by the name, Yasakani no Magatama.


Monday, 29 July 2013

Me bastard, the rest all abang hitam...

Now brain lagi hyper liao due to sleeping too much from 5+ in afternoon to 11 at night or so. So in case I still need more kun before finishing new chapter of ART...

P.S: Post weirdly inspired by my laopeh watching PRC news channel... apparently, we got things going south and brother killing brother further north. Don't believe me, go try asking Dongmyeongseongwang... wah, title lagi cumbersome sia...

P.S: Have G.R.R Trollolol trolled these blokes yet?

Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow

A/N: I'm not a default endorser of JxD, but it seems that a particular post speculating on Jon Snow has created a nuke bomb out of a cluster bomb. In S'porean talk, we call this massive upgrading.

Final shout out-Apologies to Ms Seow-turned-Mrs Wong if you're to ask me again why I every time stay so late. My brain feeds off momentum, I also say girls are considered exception to the rule. Future Mrs Sim, I appreciate your suggestion tbh.

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Trying to restart engine now...

Writing engine that is... high time I should be writing a new chapter for ART, suddenly got quite a few new ideas in the middle of work. Hooray for creative genius!!!!! But before I up the thing, figure I should plug this awesome songstress. :)

P.S: This has nothing to do with Abe Shinzo visiting my country b/c I apolitical bastard, I part of Night's Watch. Also this post guilty of song spam, i.e. I might have upped some songs here somewhere in this blog before.

And now for some conceptual quotes... problem, self-plug? Must be an invincible air of despair hovering over good ol' Teesside now... wanna blame Watford, wonder whether we will be equally fruity to sign a certain Irish fruitcake...

"The boy will leave our pride one fine day, for the Lion of Teesside belongs only to himself..."
Moggray Tonn

"I won't give him up like you did one year ago, Ales. My mind is made up, you can only choose to aid me or go against me..."
Yeras Wynda

"I remember him standing over the fallen, Joenne. Guy Cody was merely a commoner's son and still remains so. Yet, I can never forget the moment where I witnessed a lion amongst men fighting for my chastity's sake despite being total strangers back then..."
Karen Tenias

"I think Ithi likes him, I believe she won't be the last to feel this way. Sorry, Southgate love. Lad is way better a charmer than you decades ago."

"I'll be back soon, Lol. Maybe I'll bring with me the best man you'll ever meet in your whole life. After all, lions are considered giant cats, no?"
Lars Alterfate

"I remember seeing a boy half my age, Theseus. It seems weird for me to say this, but I think he's a charming boy..."

"Jo, have you ever wondered why so many girls stole a glance or two at Guy? He's neither attractive nor ugly, average looking most likely. Yet, many a time I've heard girls boasting they would have him as a lover within weeks or even days. Do you like him as well? I think Karen does and I know how I feel towards the courage he's given me. Alas I've lost the right to repay him..."
Alestrial Eliaden

"He is a wild animal on the prowl, I'll give him that. Yet, even the most majestic of beasts can be lain low by a serpent's bite on the heel. Lukas Brun, my beloved Hand, I beseech you to persuade this boy not to forfeit his precious life so easily..."
Eliador de Lioncourt

"Saints don't exist, boy. So long as you retain the courage to admit your flaws and face this cruel world, ten years from now you'll be a splendid man."

"He once told me a dream of his, Alestrial Eliaden. A wish every boy is entitled to, that one fine day he will become a hero in his own right and merit. If said dream is a path which will lead him unto doom, will you let go of him or still hold on tightly?"
Lukas Brun

Friday, 26 July 2013

Literally the most intelligent bastard ever... (Part 6)





Summary: Death comes to everybody, not even the 2nd Emperor of China could have escaped. Apparently, situation ain't all that hunky dory since rebellion was still an everyday occurrence. After Han Xin, we got Ying Bu (although can't be sure when Peng Yue pulled off the same stunt).

Amazingly enough, not even the loyal Fan Kuai was spared from suspicion. We all know he's way too dumb to stage an uprising, some fella just chose to upgrade every single damn thing. His Holy Han-ness' reaction?
Scariest part? Evil Ping sowed discord just for teh evulz. Well sort of since His Holy Han-ness was hell bent on executing Fan Kuai despite this big bloke following him right from the start...

Scarier still? Evil Ping suggested sending Zhou Bo as the emissary since he's the Grand Commandant by now. Okay, it's actually Zhou Bo taking over Fan Kuai's place while Evil Ping was tasked with the sword.

Yet, here comes the question: If this was Chen Ping's ploy coming from Chen Ping, then why did he regret the decision halfway through? Guys, I think it's quite likely that Liu Bang had yet to go senile despite nearing death. At the same time, we must also know that Chen Ping always accompanied Liu Bang during the Chu-Han War and the aftermath of unification. In fact, it takes a bastard to know another bastard and both were equally bad. Quite a bit like the pot and kettle being black without either stating the obvious.

In short, here is my conjecture-Chen Ping had NOTHING to do with this military drama. Willingly that is. In short, His Holy Liu-ness got the power, the rest is history.

Yet, this was when Chen Ping executed another piece of strategy masterstroke. You see, Fan Kuai wasn't only close to Liu Bang, but above all he's also close to His Holy Liu-ness' Empress wife. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, an Empress is after all a woman.

Chen Ping's evil planz? Well, firstly, we have to give it to Chen Ping in the sense that he understood what kind of character His Holy Liu-ness had became. "God" has never been so paranoid before (although there had been countless mortal gods in the course of human history), this is quite like how Wade Wilson became Deadpool through Weapon X apart from the fact that Deadpool is still considered technically (?) sane.

To put evil plans in a nutshell, by convincing Fan Kuai to shackle himself in a prison carriage, every man and woman will be a happy man or woman. In fact, Fan Kuai did have a redeeming quality apart from being a war machine. You all can call it dumb honour, I call him a loyal subject.

P.S: We the Chinese have this favourite saying-accompanying the lord is akin to accompanying a tiger [伴君如伴虎]. Don't believe me, go ask Ned Stark how's it going downstairs.




Summary: Halfway through, "God" died. As an adviser of "God", Chen Ping started fearing for his life. You see, we can only blame "God" for subjecting everybody under this ridiculous period drama, no one is gonna listen to said servant anyway...

Step 1-stage a wayang, rush all the way to Xingyang.

Step 2-cry in grief like a crybaby, the more you look like a bapok, the higher your chances of survival.

Step 3-Still fearing for his life, Chen Ping requested to stay amongst the Imperial Guards.

Step 4-He got a new post, he now in charge of teaching the crown prince. No more army, no more pasta.

Result-Empress Lu bought Chen Ping's deal hook, line, and sinker, Chen Ping lived to fight (?) another day.

The only problem? The Lu clan still got a regal troll called Lu Xu. We'll get to that later.



Summary: By then, Cao Shen had passed away as the Chancellor. Before him, there was one Xiao He, this time round, we got Chen Ping.

Remember Lu Xu? Bugger was PO'ed over the assumption that Fan Kuai nearly did himself in in via Chen Ping's evil planz, this time he became even more jahat. By slandering Chen Ping to be a drunkard and womaniser, that should have done him in.

Chen Ping's response?

Empress Lu's reaction?



Summary: There's a reason why Empress Lu erected Chen Ping as the Chancellor. Given the kind of insidious talent Chen Pin is, acting drunk and horny will only serve to deflect any suspicions away. In short, Chen Ping knew what kind of person is Empress Lu. So long as he outlived her, Interesting Times are sure to follow. In fact, whatever decisions made by Empress Lu was approved by Chen Ping, I'm talking about granting high posts for her clan.

Soon (?) after, Han dynasty DID survive to witness an Interesting Time. When they say "may you live in Interesting Times", it means they want you to die. That's why Sir Terry Pratchett called this a curse in Discworld, that's when Chen Ping seized his chances.

After Empress Lu's demise, Interesting Times erupted. In order to take the correct side, Chen Ping and Zhou Bo cooked up a plan. You call it a bastard's game, I call this a fatal backstab. Interestingly (?) enough, Chen Ping was the one suggesting whatever dastardly strategy available.

After the debacle, Zhou Bo became the right Chancellor and Chen Ping the left. However, the Wen Emperor's original decision was quite the opposite. To him, Chen Ping was the numero uno. Yet, Chen Ping chose to take MC. When boss asked apeh ini, Chen Ping replied that Zhou Bo was the one overseeing the military aspect while Chen Ping only had a mouth and a tongue. In short, it's a case of his overall credit being no match for Zhou Bo's, be they during or after Liu Bang's reign.

Note: The right position is the higher of the two, we'll see soon enough the dynasty wedgie...

[居顷之,上益明习国家事,朝而问右丞相勃曰:“天下一岁决狱几何?” 勃谢不知。







平谢曰:“主臣!陛下不知其弩下,使待罪宰相。宰相者,上佐天子理阴阳,顺四时,下遂万物之宜,外填抚四夷诸侯,内亲附百姓,使卿大夫各得任其职也。” 上称善。




Summary: Nothing much, only that big boss asked Zhou Bo on whatever irregularities available, i.e. number of people convicted per year and amount of produce accumulated per annum. Zhou Bo couldn't give the correct answer to 2+2, Chen Ping had to do bailout.

Chen Ping's answer was very easy: go find the relevant people in charge.

You see, it's one thing to supervise everything and quite another to supervise everything 24/7. Liu Bang once stated that Zhou Bo lacked the capacity to rule as Chancellor. Chen Ping, on the other hand, was lauded as one with vital wits, yet unable to stand on his own. One could say that Chen Ping's problem lies in his unsavoury repute, likewise Zhou Bo's problem was that he didn't posses the attention span and focus to pull this off. It wasn't until donkey years later that Zhuge Liang managed to defy human logic, Zhuge Liang managed to do what Zhou Bo had failed so miserably in the past before.

Long story short, Zhou Bo felt ashamed of himself, he let Chen Ping have total power as the Chancellor via shooting a resignation letter.




Conclusion: Nothing much of note apart from the fact that Chen Ping's descendant got horrible screwed via decisions amounting to persona non intégrité. Scariest thing? Chen Ping had foreseen this because he knew something instead of knowing nothing...

P.S: Yes, I know this post is a half-assed standard one. I tried to give my all, my head feeling lagi light atm.



Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Romance (?) of WWII

Apparently, Hitler is madly in love with a certain still (?) certified (?) single (?) celeb A-lister chick...

Problem, Hitler???

Apparently, really lagi got problem...

This below=sibeh ku before...

Der Höhepunkt:
Cometh the (sibeh suay) moment cometh the (sibeh suay) man

Der Vergeltung


P.S: Suddenly realised lacking in inspiration for Random Insanity. Must... Not... Be... Too... Srs...

Okay, gonna end job at The Hobbit FB app, then straight go kun liao...

Monday, 22 July 2013

So now I got a new plaything...

Thankfully, I'm not talking abt girls. Hell will freeze over if so anyway...

Above scenario has nothing to do with post at hand, I only doing shit for fun... but this is no for fun.
Vid below is the actual deal...

If you think play Elves, you kentang ppl sure longzong wrong one...

Still don't get me?

Greatest proof that I'm being truthful? This:
Yes, me shameless self-plug and still experimenting w/tactics. Kenna 100% wiped 2 times liao...

Friday, 19 July 2013

Literally the most intelligent bastard ever... (Part 5)

Okay, now I decided that it's high time I kill off this hassle. ffs I still got Roar of Three Kingdoms to gao-dim...


高帝默然。以问平,平固辞谢,曰:“诸将云何?” 上具告之。












Summary: The above text is all about the aftermath of unification. Apparently, Han Xin was trying to play rebel for whatever reasons. Of course no one ever said Liu Bang was a saint since there's a difference between a hooligan and an emperor. Try doing a fusion and you'll only end up with a hooligan emperor. Liu Bang did mature quite a lot ever since he killed the snake donkey years ago. However, this is maturing of absolute power that we're talking about. In short, we call this saturated power.

Now I know I'll be speaking like a smart-ass jerk-ass and a lot of us enjoy castigating despots. But hey, guess what? If I have absolute power and $$$, I'll be an idiot for not wanting to get whatever Korean/Japanese/Chinese/Western A-listers as my secret gfs. See? Logic very simple, I've just demonstrated what it means to be in a despot's shoes.*
*Although as a horrendously flawed Christian, I'll be content with only 1 gf who shares with me the same interests and beliefs. Looks wise, I'll be a liar to say it's not an issue. Ofc if you don't know me, quite obviously you won't know my standards, you'd rather believe I like girls with great figure+looks. However, I'd be aliar if I say I dun like local SG girls. Whether I got legit target or not, this is my answer.

So upon whatever stunt Han Xin had officially pulled off, what is Liu Bang gonna do? Surely he's not that stupid to get himself banged by an enemy spear, let alone letting strangers banging his harem (let's just face it, he's the 2nd Emperor of China after all, he's definitely an enviable bastard. See? This profound thinker here isn't lying!).

In a nutshell, His Majesty Liu called for an emergency meeting, he ended up asking Chen Ping. Because we all know what kind of bastard repute Chen Ping had enjoyed all the while, because we tend to invoke the term "military bastards" due to crimes against humanity. So what's Chen Ping's answer? Firstly, he asked a stupid question: how would Your Majesty rate your army against those under the Chu Lord (i.e. Han Xin)?

Basically, this will be like me asking Mogga: "Eh, boss. How would you rate our lads against Chelsea since it's Mourinho we're gonna face next week in the league?"

His Mega Majesty Liu's answer?
Yes, all you ppl. This is me doing a satirical take. Either you're clever enough or stupid enough.
Chen Ping's answer?

Solution offered? Give Han Xin this face:

As it turned out, Han Xin only himself to blame for getting conned. You see, he's assuming that no one knows about his plans. However, Chen Ping managed to pull off that preemptive bluff by informing His Mega Holy Majesty is inviting everybody for a ritual hunt of sorts since I know my own race/society in terms of strength, I also know my own race/society in terms of flaws.

As for Han Xin? Evidently, he got busted via surprise ambush.

A/N: Han Xin, however, didn't get himself killed because of this episode. He merely got rank-nerfed until that moment where Xiao He stabbed him in the back. Ironically, this was the bloke who ensured Han Xin's service under Liu Bang, hence being the catalyst to the latter's imminent fame. A little wonder why there's a common saying: "Xiao He the cause of success, Xiao He the cause of downfall." [成也萧何,败也萧何]






Summary: This is the aftermath of Busted-gate where Le Bang decided to reward Chen Ping. In this conversation, Chen Ping actually REFUSED the credit rightfully due! Why ah? He siao meh?

Nah, not like that. You see, Evil Ping wasn't so evil after all because he understood the importance of fairness when it matters most. As what he said, if not for Wei Wuzhi's recommendation all those years back, would Chen Ping end up serving Le Han? No. Le Majesté isn't Le Crétin, Le Majesté also rewarded Wuzhi. Period.





Summary: Han Xin in the end really rebelled. Unfortunately, he's not this aniki in red jersey. But enough about Han Xin, bloke is still a certified badass since he's one of the Three Badasses of Han [汉初三杰] together with Xiao He and Zhang Liang [张良].

Back to Chen Ping. Now the most amazing shit is this: Chen Ping saved the day again. While he was staging an attack on Han Xin's forces, Le Empereur got siege-attacked as well. You see, this was all about a war against the Han (Xin)-Xiong Nu alliance. For those not familiar with Chinese history, the Xiong Nu tribe was a major northern nomadic force to be reckoned with. Not only were they swift and brutal in war, but above all, they're rightfully feared for their light cavalry tactics. We all know Genghis Khan and the Mongolians, Attila and the Huns. Ask the Koreans about their warfare history and they'll give you the Khitans, ask the Japanese and they'll tell you about why the Shinsengumi was a necessity due to foreign incursion (although we, the East Asians, do have a legit history of kenna invaded left, right, and centre).

So what about Le Empereur then? Nobody knew how Chen Ping devised the ploy, we must know when Sima Qian wrote the Annals of History, that was during the rule of the Han Wu Emperor [汉武帝]. Ironically, this was also when the Xiong Nu people finally met their nemesis in the form of Huo Qubing [霍去病] who was a military prodigy ahead of his time. Needless to say however, it's double confirmed that the Shan Yu, i.e. a title akin to O' Grandest Commander in Chief, was a wife fearing man. By using said wife via unknown means, siege finally got lifted, must go thank human auto-resolve.

And ofc Chen Ping also got rewarded due to his efforts. Hence, his promotion to the Marquis of Quni. Interesting enough, the place used to be vastly populated during the Qin dynasty. Yet, due to continual warring post Qin I, not even the birds would shit on this area [鸟不拉屎的地方]. Figuratively speaking ofc since it's the people I'm talking abt. In short, big area, only problem is no one lived there. Simply put, this is truly a promotion, NOT some wayang demotion.

Final part? Well, it's just an affirmation to what Sima Qian/Ban Gu had written in history.
I now got land, because I got talent, I got six universal ploys tantamount to state secret.

To be cont'd b/c I lied unintentionally when I implied I wanna finish this one asap...

Also a shout out to Part II of this HK drama despite me only watched Part I

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Analysis - Fate/Zero (Ep 3: Part 3)

So here it is, final part of Ep tiga. Apparently...
Note that most suspicious bloke...

Firstly, why I up the song so sad one? Very simple. 'cuz majority of the scenario is all abt Saber and Iri. Yet, we must note that throughout the entire duration, Kiritsugu is the main focus and herein lies the POV masterstroke: while it's very common to use the most direct method, i.e. using the same character's POV to understand said character, what we're seeing here is a case of Emiya Kiritsugu in the eyes of those around him. Three women to be exact-his Servant-turned-potential daughter in law, his sexual partner only capable of satisfying him, and lastly, Iri herself.

Perempuan satu-der Diener
Currently, there's nothing exposing Saber's character apart from whatever we know via Fate/stay night. In short, Fate/Zero has always been about Emiya Kiritsugu since he's the one justifying everything and ****ing everything up also.

However, it's also worthy of note that at this point of time, Saber still has not understood the full extent of Kiritsugu's dishonourable nature. This is solely due to Iri knowing the real Kiritsugu and even then, I truly doubt she knows more than 40% of the truth. It's either that or she knows the real Kiritsugu 100%. Must one day go listen to that drama CD ep. >.<

Curiously enough, Iri can be said as a character closest to Shirou than anybody else. You see, no one understood Kiri better than Iri, that's why I'm a fervent K-I shipper. Granted Iri most likely never knew Kiri's past in his native Japan, but she could literally see his hurt. Back then, she knew nothing apart from being the Grail's physical vessel. Now, Kiri has given her an actual reason to live. Even though she knows what has to be done.

Of course it seems that she's actually trying to hide Kiri's methodology from Saber. Why? Because she wants to heal whatever rift between Kiri and Saber! You see, Saber is Arturia, Arturia is Queen Arthur. We're talking abt the King of Knights ffs, knights will always live and die by their code of honour. As we will see soon enough, the imminent conflict between Servant and Master is the greatest joke pulled off by fate itself.

Ironic logic 1-Iri is the only one knowing Kiri best, but even Iri herself couldn't prevent anything from happening. Literally and way beyond our wildest nightmares. Also by playing the good lady, Iri might have manufactured an atomic bomb unwittingly. Figuratively ofc since it's all abt hiding Kiri's way of doing things from Saber-chan.

Perempuan dua-die Hure
Yes, I'm being misogynistic here, I blame it on my ****ed up past. Coupled with me feeling paranoid over how my fellow locals might see living children living lives 10 x more ****ed up than yours truly, I believe either I'm 100% barking mad like how ppl in the past tend to perceive me, OR I'm actually a genius. Either way, this is me digressing. Don't understand my meaning? Then you're dumber than this barking mad virgin bastard here.

Now let's go onto Hisau Maiya. Why I called her "the whore" in German is due to two reasons:
1. I'm trying to sound intelligent here.
2. German isn't the universal language, English still is.

Anti-feminist jokes aside, Maiya is actually Kiri's most able assistant. Literally. You see, the only reason why Kiri looked to her for sexual comfort is down to an empty life lived thus far. Sexual partner=/=practical partner, folks. Best evidence? Her analysis on True Assassain's "death".

Remember how I said Waver Velvet's analysis being rather spot-on? That was pertaining to Gil's Noble Phantasm being the Gates of Babylon. Maiya's analysis, on the other hand, is 100% military, 100% professional. She only know 70% of the situation, but this 70% is down to suspicion rather than cold hard facts presenting themselves naked.

So where does the 70% come from? One simple question asked-why timing and situation seem so kelong one?

I happen to know a certain pakcik melayu in work where his kelong song is concerned, military kelong is diff from football kelong. Football kelong is all abt locals and Czech footballers playing illegal bailout, military kelong has nothing to do with $$$. The problem with timing is this-everything seems fake and I'm not talking abt Koreans. Firstly, given Tokiomi's character, surely he should have expected the Assassin Servant class being legit! Secondly, why True Assassin so bodoh one? Solo sneak into other ppl's house, confirm sure know scally got sentries one wat! Bounded fields? Check. Detecting a non-Assassin fellow Servant hiding somewhere? Total bullshit. Given Gil's prideful character, discretion is nvr in His Holy Majesty's dictionary, I dunno abt "discretion" translated in Sumerian/Akkadian.

Ironic logic 2-Is there any? Dunno b/c I think this particular section lagi convoluted one srsly.

Perempuan tiga-das reiche Mädchen, both in $$$ and heart.
Remember Saber's section? Well, I did say a bit on Iri, now let's see what I can write further on. Firstly, Kiri isn't someone willing to open himself up. When Iri stated that Japan has hosted too many painful memories for Kiri, it's not necessarily that she knows everything. Mr Eric Soh once said that women tend to be more emotional, I now interpret this as being more easily empathetic. Yes, Iri IS indeed an empathetic character, perhaps this is why Kiri broke down upon remembering holding an infant Ilya years ago.

I believe Iri is still trying to get Kiri to open himself up, for all we know, she might have discovered Kiri's "affair" with Maiya already (note the quotation marks b/c Kiri is still technically a bachelor).

One interesting area abt Iri's entrance is this-when she entered Japan, I doubt there's nothing wrong with Saber wearing tux. But the greatest laugh is this: Iri's wearing something out of place in a country like Japan. Can you imagine an angmoh girl wearing winter wear in local SG? Sure confirm will have ppl alerting IMH and Ward 46A@SGH one.

So what should we deduce from Iri's character? Firstly, she's a fashionista when it comes to other ppl. Secondly, she's NOT a fashionista when it comes to herself.

Yet, her sheltered upbringing is what matters most. You see, she had nvr stepped beyond the walls of House von Einzbern, Iri is actually an innocent girl at heart (altho it didn't really prevent Kiri from doing horrible things to her knowledge). I believe her reaction towards wading in the beach says it all. Does she know the cruelties of life? Yes. Does she understand why life must be lived forward rather than backwards? Yes. Kiri taught her to ask herself both questions seriously, Kiri will forever be the one giving her the strength to live.

Ironic logic 3- pls read below further...

Abschnitt Nachbesprechung
Doubt can say much abt Kiri, allow me to just debrief everything in terms of his inner fragility. I've said before earlier here that Kiri broke down upon remembering holding an infant Ilya in his hands. In the original novel, he said it in self-derision. Why? Self-derision is NOT about self-deprecating. Self-derision can be seen as a mentality more severe than merely self-deprecating humour. Laughing at your own stupidity is one matter, mocking your own life being quite another.

Kiri is, without a doubt, mocking at his own life. He used to live a life where killing is the only way out. Not in terms of surviving, but rather to save many more lives. Ironically, Archer (as in GAR-cher himself), never understood such cruelty until he became a Counter Guardian. And Emiya Kiritsugu is quintessentially a human Counter Guardian.

Schicksal Ironie-Emiya Kiritsugu is indeed a man of steel, but made of steel he is not. He believed himself as beyond emotions, Irisviel von Einzbern proved him wrong. Hisau Maiya lives an identical life, this is only why Kiritsugu seeks her for comfort.

Note Koyama-san's key statements.
I can only say Emiya Kiristugu got a ****ed up childhood amounting to überhaupt keine

On 100% unrelated note...

And on 200% unrelated note and 300% self-plugging note...
"They tried raising him as a pup, they ended up feeding a cub instead. I was equally guilty, I still am. Like my brethren, I am a hound and nothing more. Aeranath is my son, he shall always be a wolf. If there's anything a father can do for his son, it'll be righting my people's wrong done to him and reversing my sin committed against him. Aeranath, I'll be waiting... waiting for the moment where you will right everything through ripping out my heart."
~Rowein of Steel