Translate

Something about this bloggie

Ok, I admit that I've failed somewhere before. But anyway welcome. Just a brief intro on what you should expect here:
1. Football. Not gonna post much of that any soon since season is over. :S
2. Anime, Games, etc. Just abt anything conceivable under the Japanese radar barring anything and everything Rule 34. Now that's illegal. Period. -.-;
3. Music. Everything to do with it is listed under the tab.
5. Unacceptable humour: Anything and everything is fair game here. As long as I don't get rounded up by the ISA. -.-'

6.
The Known World=Fantasy world building in process. I: Used to be glossary, now devoted to random rambling; II: Character Concepts; III: Lore.
7. der Wolf=my Fictionpress account under the moniker Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu. A Ranger's Tale is hosted under this page. :)
8. New section now upped. Maybe I should also gun for upping A Ranger's Tale here since I do have this funny feeling that traffic coming to here is way more than whatever I'll get in FP.

Statement of intent: Everything said here is a figment of personal opinion, be it me or anybody commenting. I try to be responsible, but my parents=/=parents of the world.

@Druid of Luhn: Crap. Should have remembered far earlier to give you the credit for your CSS text box code. :(

A/N: But sadly, it seems that your CSS text box code has now been halved efficiency wise. :(

That most important note I should have added: Any images posted in this blog are NOT my own stuff. I got them from Google image search, I don't earn any shit by being a thief and liar. Those responsible for the pictures, rest assured that you all are great artists in your own regards. Sadly, we all know what limited space means in terms of posting.

Latest Note: Changed alignment for my page widgets due to my worry that I can't centre align the thing.

Note on A Ranger's Tale: In case any complaining fella wants to have a legal case with me, let this be known that A Ranger's Tale is rated M by default. I've upped the swearing and somewhat a bit on the dark/gritty factor. You all have been warned, let no little boy and girl enter the forbidden realm.

Latest on ART: A Ranger's Tale now starting to kick back in gear. But I really hate the insanely fluctuating climate here in S'pore.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing. Vid below is yet another ideal OP for A Ranger's Tale.

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Houston, I got a problem here...

They say weird things happen to weird ppl, shit always happen to good ppl. Today, I discovered my wireless network has gone to shit. Like some ranting justice king, my internet has officially gone on strike. Don't believe me?

Mainly my FB and Blogger can load decently, but not 90% of the rest. iirc it actually took my 1 or 2 tries to reload my blogspot/G+ account. Tried to call Singtel helpline, can't get through. Msg went something like "Network busy". In short, either I'm facing a nationwide crisis or... well, guess there might really be ppl who are:
1. unhappy with me even though I'm still a nobody.
2. due to point 1, it means these very same blokes are out to do funny stuff aplenty with my internet+cell phone.

For the sake of others, I rather myself to be paranoid here...

But anyway...
...since I have nothing better to do, might as well do a random stuff or more abt Marvel Heroes. Interestingly enough, MH is now currently undergoing network maintenance (must be b/c of some funny bs happening last night. Game was uncharacteristically laggy last night w/my Nightcrawler experiencing his own time freeze moment or two during Mob-rush Manhattan). Since I've alrdy got 3 characters in my roster, might as well share a bit or more on my current thoughts.
Correction: Above stated problem is due to Brimstone Blitz going light speed modal.

Black Panther
Really like my current BP, most likely I won't spend 65 Eternal Splinters for teh lulz again. I think it took me 2 Retcon Devices to put right my current T'Challa. atm, I do NOT have 4 Legendary Blessings befitting a lvl 60 hero. Rather, I only have like 3 Legendary Blessings out of 4.
1. Legendary Blessing of Odin
2. Legendary Blessing of Hogun
3. Legendary Blessing of Loki

On numero uno, I find it quite useful in a sense that not only does it give me 5% bonus in anti-boss damage, the best thing is the whole 7 Spirit recovery upon defeating an enemy thingy. Given that my current Black Panther is horrendously short on max Spirit (the fact that my current main [?] actually has more Spirit despite only at lvl 53 really says a lot), I really need plenty of Spirit recovery. Ofc given that T'Challa is literally a hybrid-DPS, having his fearsome twosome IS a MUST. On that count, it means that I need to get 2 Legendary Blessings of Frigga. Nothing less should suffice. Period.

On Hogun, 'tis a no-brainer since this is all abt boosting your ratings for Defense and Physical Damage by 3%.  I know some will pull this off, but allow me to add in that whatever 3% bonus conferred is calculated via the base value, i.e. 3% of your base health & 3% of your base Physical Damage. It might not amount to anything much, but... more on that later on.

Legendary Blessing of Loki... erm I actually moved that Blessing to my Nightcrawler. -_-

Going by the equation... it should go something like 2 Frigga, 1 Odin and 1 Hogun.

Omega
Reallocating the Omega points ain't too difficult (and to set the record straight, god ol'Ryolnir is actually kind enough to do that Omega pts reset every now and then). Basically, I plonked much of my OPs on Terrigen Mist and Shadow King's Possession. I suggest placing 1 rank for TM no matter what due to that 1% probability per hit (which means no matter what, you should be able to activate your merry +1 bonus for just abt any one stat apart from Intelligence & Fighting).
And yeah, Hogun+SKP=this. And I've yet to get Frigga atm.

Invisible Woman
Insanely enough, I ended up pulling off a Wakanda relic for her. This is due to 3 factors:
1. I favored a Defensive upgrade.
2. I favored a Life regain per hit custom core.
3. I favored Doc Ock medallion (even better if we're talking abt cosmic ver here).
The only tricky part? I need to use her more since Stormy Sue's gameplay is something quite unique. I'm someone used to playing offensive, no matter whether it's DPS attrition (Black Panther=Mogga) or DPS+DTS hit+run (Nightcrawler=Pochettino). Invisible Woman is best used as vital support (Southgate?), this means I won't suggest anyone crazy enough to do a terminal solo on Kingpin, M.O.D.O.K, Doom or Kurse (note that these blokes tend to play mob swarm [Kingpin is arguably the worst as he'll call in Elektra & Bullseye as boss tier back up], so pls feel free to go all out on the contrary if you're not walking alone. imo playing 2 character raid party is enough, 3 member party=SPG galore*).
**Smackdown Party Girl ain't someone you'd associate w/Sarong Party Girls. Period.

1st impression=Levitating Disc is crap. NO! LD is the BEST shit you'll ever get, so go ahead and up this power till like 10+ or so. Def you shouldn't do a LD on anywhere below 10 or 11. Ideally, you should up this at 13 or so (this is provided you've pumped enough power pts on Invisibility in order to regain Spirit). iirc against mob spawn bosses (esp on terminals), you'll need plenty of fly-about in order to land stuff like Resonating Wave or Storm of Spheres. Okay, I'm technically lying since doing a RW-SoS loop on a continual basis is your only hope in getting out alive. Which is why I favored Relic of Wakanda.
(note: due to an absurdly crap durability, using a Radioactive Isotope which confers life+spirit regen+invulnerability is a must once you get it)
(add note: I've yet to try out Stormy Sue on a higher lvl basis [she's only at lvl 32 lol!], so I believe I'll need at least 1 Retcon to reset every singled damn shit at lvl 47 or so.*)
*Thank goodness I ran too much Manhattan on T'Challa. Which means I've yet to take Bullseye out cleanly to the cleaner for Heroic difficulty, let alone Super Heroic.

Oh and one more thing: you'll really need to max out her Invisible Combat & Personal Force Field. Max out only 1 of her Focus oriented attacks due to the presence of Combat Force Fields (basically it means having 3 passives to max out). With 2 power pts given at least (well, her Intelligence is the average median of 3 anyway and that's ignoring whether she'll gain any permanent Intelligent bonus), it should be easy.

A/N-Realized Quantum Compression has to be shittiest signature ever. That is unless you're willing to create synergy play w/Shield Dome. Something like QC>SD>mass QC detonate.

DISCLAIMER!
Probability of epic failure on the above mentioned experiment shall NOT be held liable to my credibility b/c this is something formulated only in theory.
Just like actual communism if I say so myself.

Blessings [tentatively] recommended: 1 Loki+3 Volstagg. Or if you feel like it, 1 Loki+1 Heimdall+2 Volstagg or 1 Heimdall+3 Volstagg.

FANTASTIC ALERT!
Apparently, Storming Sue can boast quite a punch in terms of Defense rating once properly kitted. That plus I've got this impression that her Mental & Energy Defense ain't shabbily shafted either. Basically, this means two things. Defensive upgrade is a must in the name of survival while maxing out Kevlar (mainly for Physical Defense boost albeit it also confers Energy Defense boost) for your Omega is equally important, if not more vital. Also put 1 pt each for both Life regen Omega skills w/Doom Armor being the closest 3rd in priority.

A/N-Ever wonder how to use the Great Kahuna? Buy 1 for 100 conch (or is it 150?), donate the rest, and max out the Great Kahuna monster on Invisible Woman.

Nightcrawler
Currently my joint main w/Black Panther, perfecting his build was quite excruciating in terms of Retcon spam. I think I used around 3 RDs on him lol! But the result is worth it. As they say, you learn something new every day. The average S'porean will call me siao, try telling that to a certain Jaeshi (sp?) if you happen to recognize him playing Guilty Gear or BlazBlue. I do NOT know Jaeshi personally apart from watching him using ridiculously crap tier characters for Guilty Gear (Anji for GGXX and Order Sol for GGAC) and BlazBlue (Bang for BBCT and Tsubaki for BBCS upon realizing Bang has became god Bang).

Using NC is all abt maxing out 3 passives, namely Incredible Acrobatics, Master Swordsman and Heartseeker Guard. IA & HG are a no-brainer (you'll need those IA to survive and HG for counteroffensive), but why MS? b/c you'll need a maxed out Sword skill to compliment whatever imba DoT+DPS mode. With Sabre Swipe as your starting Sword skill, it means upping Flash and Grab till 20 or so=a must. FnG might have been nerfed, but do NOT underestimate its crowd pull factor. Just like how NC was a crap character plot impact wise, FnG tends to divide opinions among gamers and fans alike. Just like how NC is still a fan fave after undergoing a semi-literal trip to the Mandai Crematorium, a semi-quasi trip to Hell, a literal trip Heaven and literally back again, FnG remains the MH equivalent of the local ladies' man. After all that's said and done, try using FnG>SS combo. Due to the narrow circular AoE for SS, it's extremely easy to one-shot 2-3 green grunts (and that's discounting Kurt Wagner's X-Factor, otherwise known as super 变态 crit/brutal hit game).

As if it's not enough, try throwing Infernal Brimstone into the mix. By upping it till 20 (def only an idiot will up IB beyond the 20 mark), it basically means a heaven sent one shot against elite mob. A word of note tho: To make this work, you'll need Shadowmeld in order to pull off an upgraded Bamf Bomb. Whether NC is able to crowd-pull large targets below Sentinel lvl remains to be seen. Maybe boleh, but maybe tak boleh since I'm not too sure whether a Strength 4 NC can really pull this off (to set the record the straight, I've experienced actual success on the occasional mech-pull prior to my final re-upgrade).

MS truly shines in terms of FnG>X-Slash. This is arguably your boss kill tactic. In short, max out only X-Slash sword skill wise. Effective mix up w/Agile Strike means NC can easily sustain himself for prolonged DPS pwnage. A word of important note tho:
Make sure to have River of the Soul for whichever lvl 50 Uru equipment. Strongly recommend either War Plate (+800 Defense rating) or War Ax (+400 Melee damage rating). Apart from the gloves (which confers Physical damage buff instead), the rest are not even crap, i.e. the other 2 are literally redundant.
Correction: X-Slash>Death Blow=even more kickass. Throw in RF and DB can/will effectively become NC's final hand. Now if only Arc System Works will try and make Kurt Wagner playable for either BlazBlue or Guilty Gear. :)

For Righteous Frenzy, you cam max it out w/ease so long you're comfy w/doing a RF>XS sequence. Melee X-treme X-Man anyone? I've alrdy hit lvl 53 w/NC. Basically it means I've unlocked Brimstone Blitz, it means Nightcrawler is officially the Amazing Melee X-Man of MH.

Current Omega focus:
Terrigen Mist (1% probability=+1 Durability/Strength/Speed/Energy=3 useful stats out of 4)
Kevlar (Much needed Defense boost for Physical & Energy)
2 Life regen skills (If you end up spamming Shadowmeld to save your ass more oft than not, it means you're not doin' it right)
Harpy+Psi-Ops (refer to Ideal Blessings, saving the best part for the last)

Ideal Blessings:
1 Loki+1 Volstagg+2 Fandral or 1 Volstagg+3 Fandral. Due to NC's super 变态 critical/brutal damage game, I'd personally lean towards LV2F.

P.S: We all know having a BFF [Best Friend Forever] is mostly a girl thing complete with rabbit ears, Siloso Beach and bikini.
However, there's nothing girly abt Kurt Wagner's 3 BFF [Badass Friends Forever].
BFF satu (reminds me of somebody I dunno personally)>Brains and Brawn
BFF dua (Marvel should just go all out and resurrect Excalibur for good)>Siberian Strongman
BFF tiga (same first name, but def not Mr Eric Soh)>Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D

My pick?
#TeamBlueFurry

Pointless P.S: Because Nightcrawler deserves some romantic love post-Heaven, I might as well put my national beauties on display.


Monday, 14 July 2014

Notable freaks: X-Men or X-Force?

Either way, we're talking abt biological products from the good ol'north east Teesside. To quote my elder cousin in the GH... As if lol!

Philipp Lahm aka Scott Summers

Mesut Özil aka Nathan Summers

Manuel Neuer aka Piotr Rasputin

André Schürrle aka Remy LeBeau

Mario Götze aka Kurt Wagner

Bastian Schweinsteiger aka that Logan
(also known as the bloke who might have indirectly won the World Cup b/c of his Iron Cross)

P.S: Because I enjoy being a narcissistic jerk...

??? aka Wade Wilson

"I always forget (or just black out to spare myself the agony) what Wilson's most lethal weapon is... his mouth! He'll talk nonsense until you surrender or commit suicide."
~Domino

El Estratega: Cinco

This is the story of a guy, 0. 0 is someone w/o a life. For 10+ yrs, he's been struggling w/2 things.
1. The fact that he felt unwanted by the society.
2. The fact that no girl likes him.
0 didn't know what's wrong w/himself, this actually continued till his working days. Nearing 30 w/nothing next to shit future wise. No good income for his future, no self esteem for himself and no gf to make him feel loved.
During work, he ended up having a crush on a few girls working in another dept. Numero uno was virtually unattainable due to her beauty, numero dos was pretty much the same due to how 0 perceived her character. Numero tres would most likely nvr choose him, numero cuatro... well basically comparing her to 0 is like comparing Wanda Maximoff with Nightcrawler. [1]

Then it happened. Somehow or another, numero tres seemed to notice 0. But only twice that is. 0 couldn't let go of the question whether numero tres really noticed him or not. Hence, he chose to believe it as coincidence. A freak one that is.
One aimless passion led to something wildly beyond his dreams. 0 started a blog b/c he got nothing better to do. Said blog got canned b/c 0 was and still is a virtual zero in terms of interaction. Then 0 started his 2nd blog. Somehow or another, blog numero dos became a big hit. To see his local blog garnering local hits may be natural, but there's nothing natural over the fact that his main audience hail from all over the world. Got countries speaking English, also got many countries that doesn't speak English in a general sense. Got China, ofc natural. Also got S.Korea and Japan, that one confirm unnatural.
People now seemed to start noticing 0. Subtle respect given via courtesy is now an everyday occurrence. His parents and sister now prefer to give some major breathing space. 0 dared not believe his eyes and ears, 0 preferred believing everything was just this: a freak coincidence. The fact that the CEO of his workplace friend requested him on FB may seem like nothing. The only catch? He didn't know said CEO got FB account.
Plenty of A*Star individuals have started taking major notice of 0's little red dot of a nation. First to come was some special guest from Portugal who happened to be quite prideful in terms of all things football. That was like shortly after Portugal won Denmark during Euro 2012. Then others started following suit, not the least that Portuguese's imminent big boss.

So how about 0's love life? Due current circumstances perceived, 0 developed a sharp sensitivity in terms of his surroundings. Numero tres seemed to have undergone some kind of major makeover and this makeover actually coincided with the period where 0 suddenly felt not so zero. In a weird twist of fate however, numero tres got a bf. Only that it's not 0.

So did 0 feel hurt? Amazingly enough, the answer is a resounding no.
[to be cont'd later soon (in part 6 or 7, sorry...)]


We got the Great Singapore Sale, history got the Great Han Bailout
沛公之从雒阳南出轘辕,良引兵从沛公,下韩十余城,击破杨熊军。沛公乃令韩王成留守阳翟,与良俱南,攻下宛,西入武关。沛公欲以兵二万人击秦峣下军,良说曰:“秦兵尚强,未可轻。臣闻其将屠者子,贾竖易动以利。愿沛公且留壁,使人先行,为五万人具食,益为张旗帜诸山上,为疑兵,令郦食其持重宝啖秦将。”
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans:
The Duke of Pei emerged from Luoyang, his forces marching till Huanyuan. Liang led his forces to follow him. As a result, a score of Han cities were taken down with Yang Xiong's army routed. The Duke of Pei ordered the King of Han, Cheng, to defend Yangdi as Liang continued his journey with the Duke of Pei down south. The land of Wan was subsequently conquered, their men advancing westbound into the Wu pass. The Duke of Pei attempted to attack the Qin forces deployed at the lower high ground with twenty thousand men. Liang said thus: "The Qin army remains strong, we must not underestimate them. Your lowly vassal heard that their general is murderous in nature, yet opportunistic when it comes to self profiting. May m'lord stay behind while sending men ahead of us. Fifty thousand will suffice, they must be encamped at the surrounding mountains as decoys. As for the enemy commander, Li Yiji can bribe him with valuable treasures."
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:
So we now have it! The first climax belonging to Zhang Liang! Wait, that sounds a bit wrong... okay nvr mind. So apparently, it's blatantly implied that during the standoff, the Qin forces managed to recoup their losses, i.e. retaking some of the territories previously held by the Han army. Remember what I've said in the previous part on skirmishes and the necessity behind curbstomping the bullies?

Let it be known that the army commanded by Liu Bang was most likely nowhere better than the rest. Or maybe try imagining things this way:
Do you think Boro has a squad better than the rest in the Championship?
Do you think Boro can compete with the likes of Fulham, Cardiff and Norwich?
Do you think we have 11 million quids to spend?
Do you think we really ended up signing Lewis "not Hamilton" Grabban?
Do you even think Gibbo is actually a Malaysian coming from the north east?

OH HELL NO!
We don't have a better squad b/c this is the Championship, the type of league capable of footballing feats eclipsing whatever David-Goliath moments in domestic cups.
We don't have the luxury of big $$$ parachute payouts approved by whoever upstairs last season.
11 million for Ross "not McCormick" McCormack? Refer above stated rant.
Norwich managed to grab Grabban, not us. Karanka chose to go Spanish modal once more since Real Murcia got some free scoring sucker willing to sign for us.
As for whether Gibbo is truly one hell of a Malaysian, you'll really have to ask his parents. [2]

So what truly made Liu Bang able to secure victory over an opposition more superior?
The Qin forces had the defensive advantage in terms of securing vital high ground (read: the horde of Chaos have pulled off a Zerg atop some bloody mountain!).
The Qin forces might also have boasted the advantage in numbers (read: the Orcs and Goblins are swarming like mob respawn!)

BUT...
There's a problem w/the Qin commander (no Beast of Chaos is ever free from being bloodthirsty w/o reason)
There's a problem w/the Qin comander (no worshiper of Gork and Mork is ever free from being your everyday schoolyard bully subjected under real idiocracy).
There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to bribe said commander (b/c Athel Loren is a place brimming with rumoured treasures).
There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to stage a fear tactic based on effective deployment via numbers+close proximity (hello, 50K is super a lot during the ancient times, okay?).

Final statement is virtually a case of the Asrai telling themselves "hey, let's deploy 5000 of our own like that. Maybe like 50 Waywatchers, 500 Wardancers, 1000 Glade Guards, 500 Glade Riders and the rest being our spanking new Wildwood Rangers lolz!"

The Qin commander was one bloody short sighted bastard, I will give him that. Not only was he a person who enjoyed killing the weak, he's also a yes man in the face of momentary profit. Sounds familiar to you? Don't worry, we all met this kind of bugger in school before. Scally you might even have this bugger in your office as well. #sianhalfmonday

In this world, the scariest kind of opponent you can come up against may not be the strongest bully in the playground. Rather, fear the kind of person capable of controlling that strongest bully just b/c that bloke is able to perceive things via his opponent's POV. It doesn't matter whether that guy looks like Robert Pattinson or Sorimachi Takashi, it doesn't matter whether he sparkles like Edward Cullen or whooping actual arseholes like Great Teacher Onizuka Eikichi himself. [3]

The outcome?

秦将果叛,欲连和俱西袭咸阳,沛公欲听之。良曰:“此独其将欲叛耳,恐士卒不从。不从必危,不如因其解击之。”
沛公乃引兵击秦军,大破之。遂北至蓝田,再战,秦兵竟败。遂至咸阳,秦王子婴降沛公。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans:
The Qin commander indeed rebelled, his intention being an ally (to the Duke of Pei) in order to assault Xianyang from the west. The Duke of Pei wanted to accede to the request, yet Liang advised against it by saying: "This is merely the intent of their commander, his men will surely not oblige. If we do not indulge him, we'd be courting danger. Best if we attack first."

Hence the Duke of Pei led his forces to attack the Qin army, the enemy routed as a result. Upon turning north till Lantian, the Qin army were defeated once again upon combat. Travelling till Xianyang at last, the Qin ruler Ziying surrendered to the Duke of Pei.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:
Herein we truly see Zhang Liang's moment of glory. Firstly, he accurately predicted two things, namely:
1. The army remained loyal, only the commander stayed a traitor.
2. If Liu Bang was to rebuff whatever fake olive branch offered, the Qin commander would surely rally his troops to fight Liu Bang. All in the name of loyalty, all in the name of actual hypocrisy.

If we can envision Zhang Liang's expression via a meme or two, it should be something like...
Steve once taught me the meaning of suck thumb, this has grown into my fave NSF jargon. Zhang Liang knew a suck thumb problem when he perceived one, he knew shit would be damned either way. If you're in Zhang Liang's shoes, what would you do? Don't tell me you'd say the same thing b/c that will be firing the horse backside cannon. [4]

When we're faced w/problems and questions, we tend to go by the textbook format. If Zhang Liang was somebody like that, then we won't see a Han dynasty. Chances are, we'd end up seeing Xiang Yu becoming the 2nd Emperor of China. This IS the mark of true blue talent, someone capable of making things happen like a true blue genius.

Someone (I forgot who, heard it from Neil Humphreys) from Everton once said that grit is up there (in the heavens), flair is somewhere below in his trousers. My apologies if I got the club wrong, but can we blame England for being Engrand? This is proof of textbook generic thinking, NOT the mark of an actual true blue local talent! Who are we to say there are only two options? Who are we to say that there's no path numero tres? Rules are meant to be followed, circumstances are NOT meant for the rules.

So what was Zhang Liang's path numero tres? Self explanatory, triple efficiency.

Combat analysis via footie speak
Attacking the opponent when they least expect it. Hypocrites call it cowardice, proponents of literal efficiency call it the only way or the highway. Honour only counts where it matters most, i.e. the outcome. No Bretonnian moron will ever say "we won despite losing because of honour!" if said idiot ended up getting sniped by Skarloc the Mistwalker. Want to boast abt honour, wait till you get the results first. Want to boast abt being a scoundrel, make sure you get away w/it first.

This is where DFB-Elf holds the advantage as the fastest counterattacking team of 2014. If Argentina play it safe, Joachim "not Daisy Hi-Lo" Löw has Toni "die Tonika" Kroos and Thomas "die Meeräsche" Müller. If Argentina play aggro, the Krauts will get high due to Sami "die WTF?!" Khedira and Bastian "die Bastion" Schweinsteiger getting super high.

Pursuing the opponent is one thing, defeating them despite a mass tactical re-roll on their part speaks volumes on two factors, namely momentum and knowing where to chase them. This is like playing Nightcrawler, a character consistently in the imba tier when it comes to every video game licensed by Marvel. [5] I dunno abt you, but I believe Kurt Wagner should be played as a hit+run melee rogue where simple combos should be the key to real badassery. [6]

This where La Albiceleste holds the edge. Make no mistake abt it, Estádio Maracanã is the antithesis of Britannia. It's like playing in the Riverside minus the fanfare and respect. Once you boss the possession, anything is possible. 'Tis one thing to do a tactical re-roll, quite another to force the opponent's hand via possession+movement+momentum.

Prediction: Sorry, I'm not Zhang Liang or Guo Jia. If Twitter allows me to choose two teams instead of one, surely it'll be the 2 teams in the Grande Finale. [7]

To be cont'd...

[1]: "Kurt, you are one charming devil." Did Scarlet Witch actually said that in Marvel Heroes? :o
[2]: Bar an absolute failure, you can try obtaining DNA sample so that the real Hank McCoy can lend his expertise.
[4]: In Mr Eric Soh's own words, it's called 放马后炮.
[5]: Proof that Marvel actually felt guilty for dissing Kurt's mass appeal? Guess so...
[6]: Which is why fighting Dr Doom on Terminal mode=greatest "boss rush" challenge ever.
[7]: Refer back to what Mr Eric Soh said pls... :P

Note of self-wankery:
Since 99% of those sharing my surname are most likely scoundrels or nobodies, might as well I add this vid below to sate my own ego... :D

Saturday, 12 July 2014

El Estratega: Cuatro


Tonight/day will be the day where sadism takes centre stage. Esp for this one below:
A/N: Due to the possible consequences resulting from this post, let me first state that nobody enjoy seeing bloodshed. Period.
Cannot kick ass=still badass
后十年,陈涉等起兵,良亦聚少年百余人。景驹自立为楚假王,在留。良欲往从之,道还沛公。沛公将数千人,略地下邳西,遂属焉。沛公拜良为厩将。良数以太公兵法说沛公,沛公善之,常用其策。良为他人者,皆不省。良曰:“沛公殆天授。”
故遂从之,不去见景驹。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans
Ten years later, the likes of Chen She raised the call to arms. Liang, on the other hand, also gathered a hundred plus youths in preparation. Jing Ju made himself as the Regent King of Chu, his base situated at Liu. Liang desired to follow suit, but ended up meeting the Duke of Pei along the way. The Duke of Pei led a force of few thousand men and managed to obtain the lands west of Xiapi. There, the Duke of Pei made Liang the commander of stables. Liang discussed several times strategy and tactics with the Duke of Pei via Taigong's Art of of War. The Duke of Pei was impressed, hence heeding Liang's counsel more oft than not. As a result, Liang chose to ignore the rest. Indeed he had said: "The Duke of Pei truly has the mandate of heaven."
Thus, he chose not to follow Jing Ju.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis
As predicted accurately by that unknown ah-kong, it really took Zhang Liang ten years to attempt doing something 200% constructive. Funnily enough, ten years was also all it took for various Indian chiefs to declare war on the incumbent regime. Ofc by then, the Qin Emperor had alrdy gone tits up like your stereotypical English football team winning Team of the Month award for December.

Needless to say, Liu Bang (i.e. the Duke of Pei) was also one of those ppl. Interestingly enough, it seems that the faction of Chu (i.e. Jing Ju's side) was implied to be the strongest amigo out of the rest. Was it any surprising to see Zhang Liang wanting to join Jing Ju? After all, this was to be his best bet in fulfilling his dream.

Can you imagine having an IQ of 200 in terms of all things football? If you have this super imba gift and you have to choose between Barcelona and Middlesbrough, which one should be your pick? In Zhang Liang's speak, it should be Blaugrana. However, in my own speak, Zhang Liang ended up choosing Middlesbrough. So why?

Because Liu Bang knew a talent when he saw one. If you're Aitor "Amigo del Noreste" Karanka, would you take in some unknown lobo from Singapore who apparently doesn't know a shit abt football? What if this local lobo actually has some kind of imba gift capable of bypassing the limits of watching 'live' football? Like some instinctive knack for visualising matches just based on match reports and team sheets?

Liu Bang made Zhang Liang a commander of stables for a good reason. Firstly, cavalry units were extremely prized. Not only were blokes mounted on horses faster than those running on foot, the mobility offered by horses could easily go a long way in shaping the battlefield or delivering a decisive assault when and where it matters most. The only catch? Training cavalry=pain in the arse.

In short, Zhang Liang's job title was nothing to shout abt since he's quintessentially only in charge of managing the cavalry. [1] So what truly made Zhang Liang Liu Bang's man? Because Liu Bang was willing to listen and understand the sense within whatever spoken. Imagine Zhang Liang's joy upon knowing somebody great was willing to listen and defer to advise! While it's correct for us to say Liu Bang was correct in his decision making, it must be said that history is actually a subject easily understood from the hindsight. In short, try imagining this from the POV of someone living in that era. If you're Fan Kuai, Zhou Bo, Guan Ying or Xiahou Ying, how would you feel? I mean your big boss has just chosen some unknown fella who looked like a girl to be El Estratega Numero Uno! This reminds me of an interesting parallel during Liu Bei's lifetime where...

[关羽、张飞等不悦,先主解之曰:“孤之有孔明,犹鱼之有水也。愿诸君勿复言。”
羽、飞乃止。]

Above verse comes from Zhuge Liang's biography in Chen Shou's Record of the Three Kingdoms. Long story short, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were a tad pissed off over Liu Bei electing some underground intellectual as his Estratega Numero Uno where in fact Zhuge Liang's only experience lies in watching and not doing. In fact, I won't be surprised if Xiao He was to be the only bloke intelligent enough to understand what his fellow talent is capable of. [2]

Talk 1st, shoot later
及沛公之薛,见项梁。项梁立楚怀王。良乃说项梁曰:“君已立楚后,而韩诸公子横阳君成贤,可立为王,益树党。”
项梁使良求韩成,立以为韩王。以良为韩申徒,与韩王将千余人西略韩地,得数城,秦辄复取之,往来为游兵颍川。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著
Trans
When the Duke of Pei reached the land of Xue, he met Xiang Liang. Xiang Liang made the Huai King lord over Chu. Liang advised Xiang Liang, saying: "You have already named a heir to the throne of Chu. The various nobles at Han at Hengyang are wise and capable, we can made them kings to aid our future campaign."
Xiang Liang sent Zhang Liang as an envoy to Han Cheng, making him the King of Han with Zhang Liang being Han's Minister of Masses. Together with a thousand plus men of Han and his liege, the lands west of Han were taken. Several cities were taken, yet the Qin forces staged a fightback to retake the cities. As a result, the land of Yingchuan became a battleground for skirmishes and assault.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis
As it turned out, every nation needs friends. We call it diplomacy, politicians might have different ways to rephrase it. Fast forward to war and what is it that we're seeing? Firstly, civil conflict will always create that one thing called land grab. We clever nerds enjoy playing RTS rather than FPS, the one thing abt RTS is that you must do 2 things:
1. Maintain your lands.
2. Grab other ppl's lands.

In a twisted sense, this is no diff from schoolyard idiocracy where stabbing your classmate's elder bro is cool. In a more twisted sense, land grab is actually 100% justified+legit, no matter how peaceful of an anti-war bugger you are.

In war, there is no such thing as a stronger opposition or a weaker opponent. Schoolyard bullies enjoy showing themselves off b/c they nvr understood conflict. Jon Snow may know nothing, but at least he know how to fight a battle. [3] Warfare is NOT abt how strong you are, but rather how clever you are. I still remember a certain moment during my primary school days where I felt utterly betrayed by one of my classmates whom I happened to give a cup of water to during K2. Let's just say that in schoolyard bullying, being the sheep is much better than becoming a wolf. Having integrity means you are like shit. Period. [4] Okay, I digressed too much here. Simply put, I ended up saying that this so-and-so has to be defeated via wit, not force.

Back then, I knew nothing. At the semi-ripe age of 31 (soon to be 32 this yr fyi), I find this to be ironic. Something which I didn't know turns out to be 100 true after all! This was the case for Zhang Liang and co. They're weaker in terms of numbers, the Qin forces were stronger. In your super boliao world of playground idiocracy, confirm the Qin forces will win one. Every sikeena likes to worship the strong, Zhang Liang dashed their dream in the name of upright morals.

1K+ vs... erm how many ah?
This is a case of poor man vs rich man, Nightcrawler vs Dr Doom.* How on earth could the inferior Han forces hold the superior Qin back? In schoolyard idiocracy, the only terrain available is flat. Field is flat, playground is flat, that cute girl every boy got a crush on also flat. [5]
*To set the record straight, I had a hard time fighting that bastard in Green Terminal** due to trying out new linkup play. That plus I might have accidentally switched off my Heartseeker Guard since I only realised it when playing story mode on normal difficulty.
**To set the final record straight, I actually won that fight after spamming like around 10 med kits.

In war, only an idiot will fight you on a flat terrain unless he happened to have a superior force. According to the inverse law of practical efficiency, however, it also means this logic also applies to the opposition. By taking advantage of whatever/whichever difficult terrain available, it means that the Qin army couldn't advance effectively beyond the flat end.
Want to talk abt hills, alrdy owned by enemy.
Want to talk abt mountains, alrdy got owner.
Want to talk abt forest, come inside first then only can talk.

One interesting point abt skirmishers is this: The Greeks and Romans were known to be fearsome warriors, but it would always be the skirmishers being the unsung heroes worthy of accolades. Sadly skirmishers were deemed to be lowly soldiers recruited from lowly folks, hence not many of us knowing the cold hard truth unless we happen to be history buffs. Case in point: we know who were the Spartans [6], but do we even know there's such a word called Ekdromoi?

Therein we witness a glimpse of Zhang Liang's tactical/strategical finesse. He knew there's no way his brethren could win this fight. Even with the cover offered by the terrain, there's no guarantee that you'll get out of jail for free. That is unless...
1. You're a phenom in man deployment.
2. You're a phenom in shaping the battle, hence you're able to choose your own battle.

Former case is like imagining Black Panther commanding the forces of Wakanda against the White Gorilla (an individual deemed endangered due to Deadpool being environmental-friendly).
Latter case is quintessentially Nightcrawler trolling the shit out of bosses+mob via hit+run (if you dunno what is a guerrilla, don't worry. Just try running around in circles if you got too much free time to burn). 

Which now comes to the World Cup 2014 sans political infrastructure
What can every decent human being not guilty of excessive gambling learn from this post thus far? Numero uno is this: http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2014/07/always-trust-your-laopeh.html

Secondly, Louis "van Goal" van Gaal and Felipe "Big Fillet" Scolari are gonna have a go or two at each other. Sounds simple? Not if we're talking abt whatever trauma coming from 7even-gate.
Simply put, this may be much more open than otherwise thought. Ofc no one is asking Seleção Brasileira to put seven past the Dutch or van Goal doing a Jogi. That will be too damn sadistic and kru(e)l. Yet, who are we to say that there will be only stifling action across the middle 3rd? It's not as if we're talking abt them capitalistic Koreans and I'm not referring to that most famous debate over K-dramas and K-pop.

Make no doubt abt it, Felipão would have made important notes on van Goal's tactical weakness. No Robin "Bruce Wayne's kahkia" van Persie, confirm still can perform. No Arjen "MCP [7]" Robben, maybe still can perform. No Wesley "not Snipes" Sneijder sniping from behind? Like that how to perform? Remember that this current Oranje is more of a grinder, a team capable of grinding results sans more than 2 moments of brilliance. [8] Hoping van Goal will produce plenty of goals=hoping Daina Zagata will be your gf. Period.

So what about DFB-Elf vs La Albiceleste? Firstly, it's Lionel "I can't perform w/o *insert teammate's name here*" Messi vs die vier von zwei. Secondly, no Ángel "El Ángel Blanco" di María=no Campeones numero tres. [9] Thirdly, it's gonna be argentum width vs white hot counterattacking.

Wait, I don't get you...
No worries, mon ami. You see, a tactical impasse means there has to be a point where said impasse takes place. For the Han and Qin, we're talking abt buffer zones otherwise called difficult terrain. Both matches will also have that common difficult territory, namely the middle. Tonight's showdown will be focused on the efficiency behind the flat Dutch middle while the Grande Finale is all about open space either at dead centre, out wide or both.

[1]: Pretty much like me saying some local lobo only tasked w/drafting formations and starting 11 for the sake of reference.
[2]: And to set the record straight, the Three Talents of Han are namely Zhang Liang, Xiao He and Han Xin.
[3]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvsZ0keZ1Y0&feature=kp
[4]: Case in point below.
[5]: Okay, that's gross stereotyping. I actually remembered two girls during my Gan Eng Seng years, one them a year my senior and the other a year my junior. Both defied the Asian stereotype, the latter was actually wildly popular in terms of BGR rumours.
[7]: MCP=/=Male Chauvinistic Pig; MCP=Most Controversial Player
[8]: Which was why La Furia Roja became La Furia Rojak.
[9]: Yes I know Javier "not masochistic" Mascherano kenna bontot koyak, but confirm he man enough to start.

Thursday, 10 July 2014

El Estratega: Tres

Apparently, Boro is linked with a couple of big names or so. Anything substantial, pls go ask BBC Tees. With that being said tho, it would take some true blue A*Star local talent to attract the likes of Adam "footballing claymore" Clayton and Jelle "hopefully not jello in the Championship" Vossen. [1]

A/N: If Karanka wants the team to maintain competitive, then no one should force him to swap Butterfield as part of a 2 bloke for 1 deal. Period.


Question of the millennium: Born this way or not?
良尝间从容步游下邳圯上,有一老父,衣褐,至良所,直堕其履圯下,顾谓良曰:“孺子,下取履!”
良鄂然,欲殴之。为其老,强忍,下取履。父曰:“履我!”
良业为取履,因长跪履之。父以足受,笑而去。良殊大惊,随目之。父去里所,复还,曰:“孺子可教矣。后五日平明,与我会此。”
良因怪之,跪曰:“诺。”
五日平明,良往。父已先在,怒曰:“与老人期,后,何也?”
去,曰:“后五日早会。”
五日鸡鸣,良往。父又先在,复怒曰:“后,何也?”
去,曰:“后五日复早来。”
五日,良夜未半往。有顷,父亦来,喜曰:“当如是。”
出一编书,曰:“读此则为王者师矣。后十年兴。十三年孺子见我济北,谷城山下黄石即我矣。”
遂去,无他言,不复见。旦日视其书,乃太公兵法也。良因异之,常习诵读之。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans
Once, Liang took a leisured stroll along the bridge in Xiapi. There was an old man shabbily dressed arriving in front of Liang. Upon his shoe fallen below the bridge, he said to Liang: "Unworthy boy, retrieve my shoe at once!"
Liang was taken aback, his anger compelling him to beat that elderly man up. Due to that person's age, however, he chose to swallow his pride. After retrieving the shoe, the old man demanded: "Put my shoe on for me!"
Even though Liang had retrieved the shoe, he opted to obey due to respect towards seniority. After wearing his shoe, the old man departed with laughter. Liang was shocked, hence deciding to follow him. Then the old man turned back, saying thus: "You are indeed worthy of being taught. Meet me here at the break of dawn."
Liang was left curious as he knelt in reply, saying hence: "Yes."
At the break of dawn five days later, Liang reached the destination. The old man was already there and replied angrily: "Arriving late for a meeting with the elderly, what kind of attitude is this?"
As he departed, he said: "Let us meet again five days later."
Five days later as the rooster crowed, Liang arrived. The old man was yet again already there, the reply remaining angry: "You're late again! Why?"
Again departing, he left behind those words: "Come here again five days later, but you must be early."
At the fifth day, Liang arrived by midnight. The old man also arrived at the same time, his joyful answer spoken: "You should have done that."
Taking out a tome, the elderly man said: "Read this book and you will surely become a talent worthy of a king, surely you'll be a great man after ten years. If you see my hometown Jibei thirteen years later, that yellow rock below the hill where Gucheng is will be me*."
Upon departure, the old man left no other words as he returned again no more. Reading the manual before him, Liang was amazed. For the book was Taigong's Art of War. Henceforth, Liang diligently studied the book.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian
*In other words, it can be construed as certified mati after 13 more yrs of this.

Analysis
Born this way or made this way? When we talk abt jerkassery, surely this will be the first question in mind. Ever wondered why ppl like José "O Especial" Mourinho, Louis "van Goal" van Gaal or Ser A.Fergie are certified arseholes? Ever wondered why that jerkass colleague at work can nvr be the next Steve Jobs despite N years better than you experience wise?

If you're a jerkass, either you're a natural or artificial.

An artificial jerkass will make known to you that he/she enjoys taking advantage of nice ppl like you while badmouthing others behind their backs. Worst case wise, they'd have no qualms in starting a fight despite the danger of immediate termination. Barring both, it means you're most likely too free to start a logical debate. Cannot be arsed to say anything sensible means you're out to make money via online trolling.

A natural jerkass means you're indeed born this way. Contemporary findings discovered that if you're naturally one, it means a few things.
1. You're an egomaniac because you're Steve Jobs.
2. You enjoyed asking others around you difficult questions because you're Thomas Edison.
3. You're doomed to live like shit because you're Vincent van Gogh.
4. You feel that the society can never accept you because you're H.P Lovecraft.
5. You enjoy making mature boys and equally mature girls cry because you're G.R.R Martin.
6. You always ended up getting distracted by random girls because you're me. [2.1]
7. You tend to get attracted by random girls because you're Guo Jia. [2.2]

So was that old man fake jerkass or a real one? Everybody knows you don't go full arsehole, no matter what. That kiam-pah ah-kong was just that: a bedek kiam-pah ah-kong. So why he so wayang? What did he want from that poor emotional boy who had most likely spent the first half an hour or so of his exiled life crying like a girl?

It must be said that when it comes to evolution, I firmly believe that it's something personal. We all go through plenty of hardships, only a full retard will tell you life can/will be comfortable enough so long as you stay at one spot and jiak liaobi. Not everyone has the luxury of flashing branded stuff via Instagram, chances are that you're most likely earning less than 1.4K SGD just like me if you're reading this.

What abt Zhang Liang? Suffice to say, a leopard can never remove its spots. If some ah-kong suddenly shouted at you: "OI! LATE AH? YOU LIKE SHIT! I GIVE YOU COMPLAIN LETTER THEN YOU KNOW!" where in fact you're not late, but early, what will you do? What will you do if you just happen to be some kumgong scapegoat who has always avoided conflict? Zhang Liang wasn't that girly in terms of getting emotional. Can you imagine the type of scenario where you'd enjoy nothing less than kicking that kiam-pah ah-kong's knee until that knee goes bengkok? That was what Zhang Liang had in mind. Well sorta...

Still, Zhang Liang chose to give that old man some slack. After all, he had to adhere to his principles unless said principles allowed him to commit violence instead of just letting others doing so for you. [3]
This is the mark of a promising youth: the ability to separate the morally upright from whatever matters personal. In Marvel Heroes speak, it means you're either meant to be Black Panther or Nightcrawler.

But things didn't end that there! After everything being said and done, the old man just scooted off with a guffaw or two! Again, Zhang Liang could have tried catching up with that kiam-pah ah-kong so that his offending knee can go bengkok. But no! Zhang Liang only chose to follow that old man!
This is the mark of an intelligent person: the ability to ask questions, no matter how absurd others might view this question.

Dunno what I mean? Nvr mind, check this out this logic (?)...
If you nvr even know that ah-kong, why did he give you that reaction?
Is he kisiao?
Or maybe he has something in store for you?
Like his pretty granddaughter?
Maybe it's that vivacious girl yesterday who giggled at you w/o any apparent reason as she passed by?
Or maybe it's that attractive girl blessed with an equally attractive derriere?
Then again, it might be that beautiful Skaði conspiring w/friends and colleagues alike so that you ended up getting her name wrong?

Zhang Liang nvr though once, let alone twice or thrice that he might have been had. They say fortune favours the bold, this is why we have many a great personality gracing history and our current age alike. Hence, curiosity can and will NEVER kill the cat unless said cat is a stupid cat.

Ofc that ah-kong nvr made things easy for Zhang Liang. Poor lad followed instructions, but he failed every time he did that. Then came that defining moment:
"Come here again five days later, but you must be early."
[“后五日复早来。”]

The ah-kong must come early, but how early? Therein lies the last X-factor defining a true blue A*Star individual: **** the outcome, process matters most.

I still remember somebody saying a side story abt Steve Jobs. Want to hear?
When Jobs first introduced the technology which would become the iTunes during the early 90s, people laughed at him. Years later, nobody was laughing apart from Steve Jobs himself.

Imagine this: If result is really that important, if process is ****ing useless, would we have stuff like Microsoft and Apple? [4]

Zhang Liang's reward? Def NOT this:

Rather, it's a kickass manual written by an actual badass ah-kong alrdy mati.

Who da fuq is Taigong?
There's something in common between the ancient Chinese and the Roman Catholics, namely a firm belief in that C-word. No, I'm not talking women but rather canonisation. The Vatican has that one important process involving the canonising of saints, the ancient Chinese actually played a reverse one upmanship by canonising a pantheon. Ofc with us Chinese being Chinese, it's only natural for us to realise what I'm trying to say is something 100% fictional.

In the novel Canonisation of Gods, we have plenty of household names like Li Jing (李靖) and his son Nezha (哪吒), Yang Jian (杨戬) [5] and his heavenly wolfhound (哮天犬), Daji (妲己) and Leizhenzi (雷震子). [6] Then we have a badass boss named the Wu King of Zhou (周武王) and his kickass strategist Jiang Ziya (姜子牙). Jiang Ziya was also known in respectful terms as Taigong (i.e. the Grand Duke/Sage/Teacher).

Counting the years from actual history till the Qin dynasty would give you a fair idea on how long it had been ever since the Zhou dynasty successfully supplanted the Shang dynasty at the expense of that other Zhou (纣王).

[Pls note that Wikipedia=/=reliable]

Times may change, warfare changes as well. Like a coelacanth, something will never change. The vast majority call it luck, the remaining minority prefer to call it creating circumstances in the name of usage+pwnage.

To be cont'd...

“张良之翼汉王,郭嘉之协魏主,宋武之得穆之,齐高之得褚彦:定策决胜,谋夫孔多。”
~薛稷

[1]: Quintessentially, it means events unspeakable committed by the relevant players in the field.
[2.1]: If you think I'm being an egomaniac, you need to get some life. Do you think I'm really that pandai? Hello, ppl enjoyed treating me like some full retard for the most of my last 10+ yrs, okay?
[2.2]: If you think this is real, then I got something to tell ya...
[3]: Have to put this lol!
[4]: Because I want to be a jerkass, let me say that whatever results we craved so much would nvr happen w/o ppl like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
[5]: Better known as the Erlang God (二郎神).
[6]: Best known as Leigong. To those guilty of heinous crimes and still at large, 坏事做多小心被雷公劈...


Tuesday, 8 July 2014

El Estratega: Dos

Need more zzz, hopefully can finish this by tonight. That plus I'm gonna stir up some shit again for the other two last 16 matches tonight. On a side note, I realised I need to use Sue Storm more. Then I found out playing time is a luxury only others can afford. This is due to me getting hooked on taking the black. With my Eternal Splinters nearing the 400 mark, I think I need to choose between Gambit, Nightcrawler and Deadpool asap. Gambit seems like the most fun bloke to use tho and this got nothing to do w/the whole Gambit x Rogue deal. Then I realised 3 things:

1. Deadpool is double confirm broken tier, that's why Wade Wilson cost 600 ES instead of just 400. Pretty much like employing José "O Especial" Mourinho or Louis "van Goal" van  Gaal via some bloody fat contract.
2. Using Kurt Wagner can be both fun and frustrating at the same time due to a somewhat high learning curve early in-game. Getting yourself killed can be extremely easy if you're out to play Nightcrawler like the brand of football prescribed by Ian "barking mad Ian" Holloway or Mogga. You really need to think like Michael "still on the rocks" Laudrup or Mauricio "poached by Jewtown" Pochettino. Period.
3. Karanka suddenly reminds me of Gambit for no reason at all. Either 'tis Remy LeBeau or Wolverine. vOv


How my life sucks big time...
良尝学礼淮阳。东见仓海君。得力士,为铁椎重百二十斤。秦皇帝东游,良与客狙击秦皇帝博浪沙中,误中副车。秦皇帝大怒,大索天下,求贼甚急,为张良故也。良乃更名姓,亡匿下邳。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans
At Huaiyang, Liang went through a life of learning. Somewhere eastbound, he met the Sage of Canghai. Gaining the aid of a strong man armed with a metal hammer weighing two hundred catty, the duo executed an assassination attempt on the Qin Emperor at Bolangsha. Alas it was a failure, for they accidentally attacked the second carriage instead.Utterly angered, the Qin Emperor ordered a massive manhunt as a result. Hence, Liang was forced to change his name entirely while living as a desperado in Xiapi.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis
They say if you can't make it, upgrade yourself. This was exactly what Zhang Liang did. By travelling throughout Huaiyang, Zhang Liang must have seen and learnt a lot. Via some chance (?) meeting with a sage (i.e. a person of high learning), Zhang Liang managed to gain a decent semblance of personal upgrading. His only problem? Some things will never change.

We always have the tendency to see ourselves as super clever, but nvr before in our lives have we ever considered ourselves to the real Super Eagles. [1] The same goes for Zhang Liang. In the grand ol' system of hanyu pinyin, only one alphabet separates Zhang Liang and Zhang Lang. The former refers to this titular target of analysis, the latter is quintessentially how every Geordie generic and Mackem smack'em views the super Smoggies atm. [2] Yes, you all might have guessed it. Zhang Lang[蟑螂]=Xiao Qiang[小强]=cockroach.

Long story short, Zhang Liang attempted to assassinate the object of his hatred (some say source of sorrow). As it turned out, this attempt at vengeance backfired spectacularly. While history can be extremely coy on the damning details 10 times out of 10, I believe it may be implied that Zhang Liang's failure might not be so much of an accident. Rather, it could be equally likely that the Qin Emperor actually got a contingency plan in action. It's just like imagining a strikeforce of Grafite and Edin "not Eden" Džeko where you can nvr second guess who's the decoy and who's the real killer.

Suffice to say, the Palpatine of Qin wasn't extremely amused by the fact that some nobody attempted to take his life. Albeit Zhang Liang was def the instigator while his partner in crime was actually the one committing this crime. So how did Palpatine of Qin knew Zhang Liang's existence? Nothing was being stated black and white, but I firmly believe said accomplice got busted (note that in the original context, the wording seems to hint at Zhang Liang's cover being blown. Nothing was explicitly stated whether both he-who-does-violence and he-who-makes-others-do-violence-for-him escaped cleanly).
The Qin dynasty will always be remembered for all the correct and wrong reasons.

Correct reasons stated below:
1. Economic reforms
2. Lingual reforms
3. Gahmen reforms
4. Eons before UNESCO defined history once again, someone had to do something abt some Xiongnu rapist army.

Wrong reasons stated below:
1. Massive crackdown on scholars of opposing thoughts, an event tantamount to the Great Purge or Cultural Revolution.
2. Cruel slavery in the name of national security, I'm talking abt point 4 in above mentioned part.
3. Sent a group of lolis and shotas to somewhere we might have nvr heard of, that was eons before the coming of Christopher Columbus or Marco Polo. Apparently, this might be why ppl associate Japan w/shotacon and lolicon.
4. Left a larger than every life legacy. In short, his failure retardo of a heir actually made Cha Eun-sang looks like some Rule 63 ver of Zhang Liang.

And lastly. can you imagine changing your name entirely? There are ppl who believed changing names will change their luck. Folks from eons past ain't that superstitious back then. [3] We the Chinese are stereotyped as 100% gullible in the face of individuals claiming hocuspocus in the name of Seleção Brasileira. I know the beautiful cousin of hocuspocus [4], but I don't profess to know who shall be the key man defining Die Adler. [5]

What I'm trying to say is this: Changing your name entirely=you not filial, you go to hell. While there had been individuals having done so in the annals of history, their reasons were down to running away in the name of pragmatism. [6] Also...

居下邳,为任侠。项伯常杀人,从良匿。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans:
Settling down at Xiapi, Zhang Liang became an errant individual living according to his whims. A certain Xiang Bo then followed Liang into hiding due to an act of murder.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:
While I cannot say when above mentioned event happened (note that understanding Chinese history can be excruciating sometimes due to arrangement in events NOT being done in chronological order at times), it must be said that Xiang Bo was Xiang Yu's uncle. Remember folks, every body wanted to have a piece of that tyrant grandfather. Unfortunately, not everyone got the chances and those who did... well, I figured they all ended like some bloke named Jing Ke. In short, if you cannot kill that scoundrel, at least settle for a lesser substitute. [7] That's what Xiang Bo did, arguably I can say he's more intelligent (?). [8]

To be cont'd due to that most obvious 90 min bs...

[1]: Unless you happen to be Kenneth "not omelette" Omeruo, who happens to be hell bent in signing one more season on loan for us.
[2]: If only we can have 11 million quids for Ross "not McCormick" McCormack. Thankfully, I might have devised a way to play party pooper just like how we've done so for Burnley last time round. ;)
[3]: Altho they still believed in plenty of gutao-behbin...
[5]: Unless we're talking abt der Einzelgynger below...
Or whoever is der kerl supplying ammo links/recht+der kern
Now if only I can snag my ideal gf and take a trip to Hamburg w/her just 4 teh lulz...
[6]: Some known examples apart from Zhang Liang would be Guan Yu and Zhang Liao of the Three Kingdoms era.
[7]: Fat Bastard on the loose!!!!! Freys and Boltons alike, you all have been warned in advance...
[8]: We may be freaks, but we are heroic freaks... vOv

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

El Estratega: Uno

I previously stated before that should Boro win Bolton, I'll start writing an article on a certain somebody. As fate would have it, we merely avoided defeat against a well organised and equally well deployed Bolton. The only catch? I made that promise last season. In short, there's no stopping me atm.


Intro
太史公曰:学者多言无鬼神,然言有物。至如留侯所见老父予书,亦可怪矣。高祖离困者数矣,而留侯常有功力焉,岂可谓非天乎?上曰:“夫运筹䇲帷帐之中,决胜千里外,吾不如子房。”
余以为其人计魁梧奇伟,至见其图,状貌如妇人好女。盖孔子曰:“以貌取人,失之子羽。”
留侯亦云。

【索隐述赞】留侯倜傥,志怀愤惋。五代相韩,一朝归汉。进履宜假,运筹神算。横阳既立,申徒作扞。灞上扶危,固陵静乱。人称三杰,辩推八难。赤松愿游,白驹难绊。嗟彼雄略,曾非魁岸。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans
Grand Historian's appraisal: The wise may be talkative without deceit, yet his words possess depth. Indeed even the Marquis of Liu was utterly amazed upon receiving his mentor's tome. Whenever Gaozu managed to escape numerous times, credit must go to the Marquis of Liu. Is this not truly heaven's will? As Gaozu had said before: "In terms of planning behind the scenes and securing victory beyond a thousand li, I am truly Zifang's inferior."
I used to think such an individual must have been well built and blessed with magnificent features. Yet upon beholding his portrait, both form and appearance alike resembles more of a comely maiden. To quote Confucius himself: "I have lost a worthy disciple in Ziyu because I judged him by appearance."
Surely such a concept applies to the Marquis of Liu as well.

[Annotations and Praise] The Marquis of Liu can never be restrained, his heart harbouring wrath. For five generations, his family had served the Han state. Yet in an instant, he pledged loyalty to Han. Status and fame nothing more than an illusion, his strategic decisions were nevertheless unerring. When Hengyang was established, the Chancellor became it's strength. Sending aid in Bashang, he managed to pacify Guling. Lauded as one of the Three Talents, he was capable of analysing even the most arduous of circumstances. At home with trees of red pine, this was a white steed untamed. Alas his strategic brilliance was never compatible with his features, for he never had a strong man's build.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian

Ever wondered whether your dream Japanese bishonen or Korean boy idol is for real? Is it really possible to see an actual bloke looking like a lass? I know androgynous male models are pretty much the vogue now, but it seems that a certain military genius had preempted this trend. You can try imagining this super queer situation:

There's a sport called football, also alternatively known as soccer. You take a look at the famous players both of yore and now. While 'tis true to say there are plenty of horny blokes drooling over Alex Morgan wearing a two piece [1], 'tis arguably truer that many more girls are guilty of infatuation when it comes to Golden Balls and CR7 advertising for Calvin Klein.
Hence imagine the shock in seeing some guy looking more than a tad like a lass sitting at some head coach's left! What is going on? Isn't soccer/football for manly men? Why are we seeing such a sporting abomination taking place at Middlesbrough Football Club? That bloke ain't born to take the pitch, let alone bossing it! [2]

In times of war, it's only natural for leaders to use individuals looking like a soldier to do their respective tasks. Hell, not even that dastardly Chen Ping was deemed as a ladyboy! Ofc I'm not implying anything in terms of literal sexuality, but it seems more than a tad weird seeing someone fair and fragile deciding the fight for his boss.

This is a real life story of somebody used to failure.
This is a real life story of somebody who should be to be a loser.
This is a real life story of somebody detesting restraint.
This is a real life story of somebody blessed with integrity in spite of cynical times.
This is a real life story of an actual genius defined by turbulent times.

If you think your life suck, think again...
I know life is full of hardship. You think your work is not earning you enough $$$, my job only earns me 1K+ in SGD monthly.
You think your friends are a bunch of jerks talking behind your back, I've been through 10+ years of verbal and physical abuse stretching from my late primary schooling years till the end of my full time ITE studies prior to NSF enlistment.
You think your platoon buddies are out to get you, Sorry to say that 90% of my NSF years were spent on piss poor self esteem.
Girlfriend friendzoned you? Sorry, but every girl whom I've taken a liking to from school to Friendster to church have alrdy friendzoned me. [3]
Whining over your ideal romance suddenly gone bust? Sorry, but I'm still waiting for that one girl whose identity I happen to know.

What abt Zhang Liang then?

留侯张良者,其先韩人也。大父开地,相韩昭侯、宣惠王、襄哀王。父平,相厘王、悼惠王。悼惠王二十三年,平卒。卒二十岁,秦灭韩。良年少,未宦事韩。韩破,良家僮三百人,弟死不葬,悉以家财求客刺秦王,为韩报仇,以大父、父五世相韩故。
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著

Trans
The Marquis of Liu, Zhang Liang, was part of the Han state. His grandfather, Kaidi was the adviser to the Zhao Marquis of Han, Xuanhui King and Xiangai King. His father, Ping, aided the Li King and Daohui King. During the twenty third year of Daohui King's reign, Ping died at the age of twenty. It was also then when the Qin state destroyed Han. Liang was young back then, never to have served Han. Upon Han's destruction, Liang's clan was left with merely three hundred men. His younger brother dead without burial, Liang attempted to employ assassins via family wealth. All for the sake of killing the King of Qin in order to avenge his motherland, his motivation mainly due to five previous generations of his family serving Han.
《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》


Written by Sima Qian

Analysis
The Han state mentioned here has got nothing to do with South Korea. However, we can see an eerie pattern here, namely invasion and imminent subjugation. If you think the Koreans from either end are fiercely patriotic, then you're right. The North Koreans are fiercely loyal to their only god, the South Koreans are super fierce when it comes to defending national dignity. [4]

Zhang Liang's situation was nowhere different. Just as how each and every decent South Korean citizen would want to see the Sewol ferry tragedy coming to a close, likewise Zhang Liang also desired an end to his misery. Given that his father died at the age of twenty, chances are that Zhang Liang was merely a little boy. [5] In fact, Han was the first player to fall under the might of Qin.

One thing which might resonate deeply with the South Koreans is the fact that Han's downfall was a monster of its own making. If the Sewol tragedy was due to irresponsible bastards owning the vessel, then Han's destruction would be down to a major cock up in one-upping Qin. As it turned out, whoever suggesting a major drainage in resources via constructing a major canal was left to be called an idiot. Long story short, the plan backfired spectacularly. Not only did the enemy gain a canal, said enemy actually ended up recouping their losses via actual profit. Apparently, nobody in the Han court was meant to be an economist while Qin had proven itself to be economy savvy.
Can you imagine Toyotomi Hideyoshi conquering the Korean peninsula due to similar circumstances?
How about imagining invaders from the Tang dynasty successfully declaring that same piece of land as part of China?
Thankfully for the Koreans [6], above two questions are meant to be hypothetical, not real.

The most ironic part of this episode? That canal ended being named after that Han engineer sent to drain their resources this way. People call it adding insult to the injury, I call it pushing a wounded man into the Dead Sea.

Imagine how emotional Zhang Liang was when shit happened. [7] Surely he must have felt like shit b/c... well, I guess real life pragmatism must have told him that.And to think my life sucks hard enough alrdy...

To be cont'd b/c I now too ****ing tired liao...

[1]: And to every horny Aussie bloke, there's Ellyse Perry as well.
[2]: If you think I'm j/k, then you're not stupid. If you think I'm for real, then you need to see a shrink. 'Tis alrdy bad enough to see S'poreans being stereotyped, pls don't add any shit to my national misery. Wait, did I use the correct term? vOv
[3]: Thankfully, I've yet to get friendzoned when it comes to my current workplace. Then again. that's because I'm alrdy too ****ing useless to court my fave girl, no matter who she happened to be.
[4]: And to be brutally fair, Sewol-gate was no different from high treason.
[5]: Weirdly enough, that reminded me of a girl whom I got a crush on during Sec 1. Both of us were in the same grade, but she ended up calling me "small/little boy" in a derisive tone. T_T
[6]: Moral of the story? Koreans are especially good in spewing flames, no matter from where.
[7]: Whether he did enter Sasuke mode, howevere, will forever be a question left unanswered.