A Game of Trollolol ver. Engrand (aka AGoT shut up and take my $$$)

Today, I realised season 4 of A Game of Thrones would be debuting on HBO. At the same time, Neil Humphreys decided to pull off a parallel blinder for Liverpool's biggest match. Yes, no match will get bigger than this since Man City will pose a major obstacle, both physically and mentally. Okay, that's me talking cock b/c Liverpool managed to win 3-2. R.I.P, Hillsborough 96. You all deserved this result even though I'm a certified neutral. #YNWA

P.S: Wonder if that unnamed bloke managed to motivate his beloved Reds via the same stunt pulled off by a few fans belonging to another kind of Reds. If so, then I need to congratulate my fellow S'porean for putting S'pore on the global footballing map should silverware return back to Anfield.

Warning!
Depending on whether you heng or suay, some clips are not meant for kids. The fact I don't include bare naked tits doesn't mean a thing when it comes to brutal reality in all things conflict.

House Anfield

Lord

Vanguard

Bulwark*

*Weirdly enough, Don Ralph Lauren and She-Hulk found the climax amusing

Wild Card

Bastard

House Etihad

Lord

The Hand

Assistant to the Hand

Tank

Bastard King

And lastly,
House Riverside
Ex-Incumbent Lord

Current Lord

General

Skirmisher

Organiser

Man on Mission

Bonus (?) member (??)
This si pai-kah eh...

P.S: Please don't ask me whether I support Meera Reed bedding Bran. Period.

A Game of Trollolol ver. [Rescue] Mission Impossible (aka AGoT masters shit story telling)

Once a upon a time, shit happened...

A few years later, more shit happened...

Which promptly resulted in major shit happening...

Ultimately, someone ended up like shit.

As the story continues, one shit leads to another shit...

And with so much shit happening right now, only one man can save the shit...

Response to all this shit?

Valar dohaeris

Originally planned as Valar morghulis II, but I decided to scrap it lol! Again, no guarantees on how foul mouthed this post will get. ;)

Swift as a deer. Quiet as a shadow. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Quick as a snake. Calm as still water. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Strong as a bear. Fierce as a wolverine. Fear cuts deeper than swords. The man who fears losing has already lost. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Fear cuts deeper than swords.

Response to death itself...

Remember what Syrio Forel said about answering Death? If valar morghulis epitomizes death at its most absolute, then valar dohaeris will be its answer. I do not know how ironic this one can get, but technically speaking once can liken this response greeting with life. Maybe I should ask every reader this simple question: When you serve something or somebody, does it make you a slave to whatever or whoever you're serving? You serve your country, are you a willing slave to your nation? You serve your boss, does that make your boss your master? You desired to have wealth and fame, will your decision make you serve wealth and fame? Arya's character is all about making decisions because that's what real life is all about. Even the most heinous ones like Littlefinger, Cersei, Ramsay, and Euron are entitled the right to do so because they're living human beings!

So who does Arya serve? On the first glance, she's now serving the Faceless Men, but is it truly that simple?

How to carry out a hit

I've read somewhere that if you want to kill someone, go hire a Serb. Regardless how true this is, hiring a Faceless Man means 100% success rate literally. One of the focal ethos is that collateral causality is forbidden. On a practical end, it's there to prevent any unwanted trouble. In terms of ideology, we call it a religion. Literally. Death comes to all, there can only be one God and he's called Death. Sounds familiar? I'll get to this part asap.

If death is the common rest allowed for everybody, then it must also be said that death itself is the most basic form of human rights. I know it sounds warped, but I truly doubt Essos has its own Geneva Conventions just because we're talking about the term Free Cities.

Therefore, killing the intended target is not just about pragmatism, but rather a 50-50 deal between practicality and ideology. To the Faceless Men, valar dohaeris means valar morghulis and vice versa.

There's something about Arry...

Arya entering the service of the Faceless Men is without a doubt the turning point of her life. In order to do the only thing she does best, she must abandon every semblance of self identity. When she passed herself off as Arry, little did she know the ironic future awaiting her. Arry was truly a fake identity used out of necessity, the same actually goes for her ever changing face at the moment. Therein, I must state what I see in the f-word.

There are two meanings behind the concept of face. One of it literal, the other symbolical. The literal face is the face we all are used to seeing. Our own reflection and other people's appearances, be they your family, friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. Even strangers. The symbolical end means self-identity. I bought a hardcover artbook for Warcraft III many years ago, one question which stands out from whatever pictures available is this: When a monster looks at itself in the mirror, does it see a monster?

Above question can be found in the Orcs introduction and I really took it to heart. Years later, this would become the bedrock of A Ranger's Tale. You see, when we call somebody a monster, it's merely how we perceive his/her identity. To the said "monster", only his/her opinion matters. In short, if a murderer cum rapist insists he's a human being, then it means his identity is NOT a monster. [1]

We mustn't underestimate the profound nature behind the symbolic face every one of us has. Every human being is unique because we all have different faces. I have my own face, my superior has his own as well. I recognize my parents and sister for who they are, I'm pretty much sure I won't forget the face of my future first girlfriend. That is if I'm lucky enough for the last count.

So who does Arya serve?

On the first glance, Arya Stark serves no one. However, it's interesting to know that the ancestor of every man's best friend was the wolf. Since ages untold ago, taming wolves became man's favorite pastime so as to speak. The ancient Irish especially were renowned for their hunting hounds. [2]

Arya's journey is quintessentially a case of "to tame or not to be tamed" question. Without a doubt, a wolf has its own self identity. Yet, a hound will not only possess an identity, but a master to protect also. It's ironic in a very cruel sense to compare the fortunes of Bran the Builder with Ned. Bran was a truly a free wolf under no man's leash. Ned, on the other hand, became the Iron Throne's most prized hound. No matter how valuable a hound is, the master can still choose to execute it one way or another.

Let this be known: Arya doesn't serve anyone apart from herself. Her current predicament is not so much of a survival game, but rather an identity crisis. She's the closest thing to House Stark's living symbol now, but will she be tamed?

Guilt vs Guilt

Firstly, let me just say that no matter how strong she is, Arya's still a girl. A certain Mr Eric Soh once commented that women tend to be more emotional [3], I doubt he actually read A Song of Ice and Fire. One of the most understated aspect of Arya's struggles is this one below:

She went to the window seat and sat there, sniffling, hating them all, and herself most of all. It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened.

~A Song of Ice and Fire; A Game of Thrones

In this respect, she's her bastard brother's clone. Unlike Jon, however, Arya's depression stemmed from herself. At least Jon Snow knows something:

Jon wanted nothing more. No, he had to tell himself, those days are gone. The realization twisted in his belly like a knife. They had chosen him to rule. The Wall was his, and their lives were his as well. A lord may love the men that he commands, he could hear his lord father saying, but he cannot be a friend to them. One day he may need to sit in judgement on them, or send them forth to die.

~A Song of Ice and Fire; A Dance with Dragons

Will the real Arya please stand up?

Many readers assumed Arya to be a natural born killer, for it is indeed true that she's a gifted child. Not so much on understanding stuff, but rather absorbing surrounding knowledge and utilizing them without even herself knowing. It's just like seeing someone having zero experience in watching football, yet capable of understanding how individual teams work their formation and players. Arya's talent is all about 100% instinct. Period. Like how a wolf learns how to hunt, likewise this ferocious cub of House Stark learns how to kill. In an eerie sense, she's quite similar to the youngest Stark still stayin' alive. [4]

House Stark=House Warg

It really feels surreal hearing a hopeless Stark fanboy saying this, but it seems that the surviving Stark children DO have a strong potential when it comes to skinchanging. So let's see what we have before The Winds of Winter hit S'pore's summer shores...

Jon-shown to have a strong potential yet to be awakened fully; key to his future fortunes hints at Ghost.

Bran-a no-brainer quite obviously. This has nothing to do with the three eyed crow, but rather a Stark greenseer.

Rickon-already considered imba, now possibly still in volatile mode.

Sansa-No chance in hell, sorry.

Robb-wolf-head Robb, sorry.

Arya's warging ability is definitely linked with Nymeria, but it actually took a cat to let us have the clearest idea yet. No one taught her how to skinchange. Then again, same goes for the rest apart from Sanas ofc.

Jack London, this one is for you...

I still remembered watching as a child/tween the TV series, White Fang. At the same time, there's a magazine intended for the tweenage audience Young Generation. Granted YG is still going strong somewhat, but my YG is all about stories portrayed in picture panels. Not only the old time fave comic strips like Vinny the Little Vampire, but also random stories. Not so recently, I discovered YG has already been wave surfing in Korea, this is a far cry from reading in my YG another of Jack London's works, The Call of the Wild.

The interesting part about White Fang and The Call of the Wild is the fact that one plot is the antithesis of another. White Fang relates unto the reader a wolf becoming a loyal hound whereas The Call of the Wild tells us the story of a domesticated dog finally becoming a wolf. I'm pretty sure Ser Martin must have read those two famous novels because in Arya, I'm seeing both White Fang and Buck.

Factors behind Arya=Buck

'Tis a no-brainer, ain't that so? According to Haggon Says, cats are known to cruel and vain. You can subjugate it, but can never tame it. Thankfully, Haggon Says is referring to actual cats, not cat owners. Shitty jokes aside, Arya's current identity spiral can be compared with Buck. As the main protagonist in The Call of the Wild, Buck was used to living a comfortable dog's life as a St Bernard-Scotch Collie breed. Sadly, he received a rude awakening upon getting abducted and sold, the latter word continuing for numerous rounds. Arya's plight is also nowhere different as in she was also a sheltered little girl initially. Buck needed to fight, maim, and kill constantly to preserve not only his life, but also his dignity. Ditto for Arya as well. This might be why valar morghulis was the first High Valyrian word she learnt. If there's any High Valyrian epithet truly worthy of Buck, valar morghulis will be it.

Factors behind Arya=White Fang

If Buck is a reflection on Arya's current crisis, then White Fang is the symbol of hope. I'm not gonna make any bones about this, people. The Call of the Wild IS a tragic story. Despite yearning for a home, Buck was brutally betrayed by his various masters. Upon having the only master whom he can live and die alongside with, poor Buck ended up cruelly betrayed by reality. With nowhere to return, Buck had to make a final choice. He can keep on dreaming till the cows come home or he can make the wilds his home. Unable to compromise with harshest fate means Buck chose the latter path, hence the real meaning behind this famous novel by Jack London.

What about White Fang then? White Fang had always been a wolf. A wolf understanding only the cold hard hierarchy behind the pack order, a beast hardwired to live and die like one. Like his cynical counterpart, he ended up in a different owner's hands for individual reasons. Unlike Buck, however, White Fang managed to break through the barrier of being a pariah unaccepted. After many battles and inner struggles, this once-feral wolf managed to get a girlfriend and a happy ending.

Why am I taking pains to write so many crap is because I tend to deviate from the actual topic on a 50-50 call. Now back to Arya. Will she discover her past and identity? The Call of the Wild is all about losing identity, White Fang is all about discovering one. When Arya was accepted under the Faceless Men''s wing, she did something perhaps not even the Many-Faced God could have expected: hiding Needle away at somewhere safe. This is an indication that Arya is still more of a White Fang than Buck.

Note-above portion comes to mind a vital quote by Arya. Have fun doing theories and finding answers, peeps. ;)

Poking yourself with your own Needle

Needle is the name of her sword due to its narrow blade possibly slimmer than a rapier. At the same time, a needle is also associated with embroidery, i.e. every lady's favorite hobby. In short, Needle could also be said as a mark of Arya's rebellion against every sheeple. [5] At the same time, we also need to have a reality check if we're to say Arya's one hell of a fucked up girl:

"It's just a stupid sword," she said, aloud this time...
... but it wasn't.
Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell's grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan's stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow's smile.
~A Song of Ice and Fire; A Feast for Crows

Flashpoint: Is Syrio Forel dead?

My personal view is a big fat NO. The biggest trolljob Ser Martin can ever conceive is this: if it ain't proven dead, please don't say so. Initially, I was dumb enough to assume Jeyne Westerling dead. That was until Ser Blackfish taught me where to look. For Syrio Forel, this is truly a man of mysteries. [6]

First and foremost, let us consider the circumstances where he became the First Sword of Braavos.

1. Incumbent died of old age, the Sealord of Braavos sent for Syrio.

2. Syrio was asked about the cat [7] seated on the Sealord's lap.

3. Syrio answered truthfully that he had seen countless cats like that all over the alleys of Braavos.

4. Syrio Forel became the next First Sword of Braavos. Not due to his ability, but because of his wisdom.

Key point lies in numero tres, that to Syrio Forel, a cat is a cat. Try viewing this in the death parallel and we will see a haunting exactness hidden behind the verbal shadows. If I'm to equate a cat to a human life, what does this mean where Syrio Forel's answer was concerned?

Guys, we might have been trolled for many a year. Syrio Forel is only assumed dead in name, he's most likely alive and assassinating in reality. If this final statement ain't clear enough, it means you know less than nothing. At least Jon Snow knows only nothing.

[1]: If you're to ask a Faceless Man the correct question without getting yourself killed, this will be their answer behind "thou shalt not judge".

[2]: Something regaled via J.R.R Tolkien

[3]: Weirdly enough, it's been widely accepted that boys are better in maths and science while girls excel in arts and humanities. Given that I'm a straight guy and that any given business course in S'pore will guarantee any guy a pretty gf, above logic must be taken with a grain of salt.

[4]: There must be a Stark in Winterfell, his name has to be Rickon.

[5]: In SMRT Ltd (Feedback) own words-bodoh peh kambing.
[6]: No intention of copyright infringement.
[7]: Actual details proved to be some kind of unwitting prophecy pertaining to Arya's arrival to Braavos years later. Period.

Valar morghulis

Yes, I know this is me being a jerk due to Sunday being the official day of rest+recreation. Unfortunately, since I do not have a life while being somewhat convinced that it would take many years to have a local S'porean taking the world by storm, I'm left with no choice whatsoever. At least when people said iTunes=more cost efficient, they're not really lying. On a side note, I'm not interested to know whether I can earn 340K per gig because I'm merely a local Chinese. And no, I'm not out to be some attention whore, rest assured. Am I spontaneous local bastard? Yes. Am I a trolling god? There's only one SMRT Ltd (Feedback). Period.

Above correct statement=greatest proof that I will die before 40 w/o $$$ and gf.

With the anti-trolling artillery deployment finally done...

WARNING!!!!

Due the nature of any/every post under A Song of Ice and Fire tag, I won't hesitate to use vulgarities sans censorship. I've tried that for every ASoIaF post thus far, Huor Stark* keeps marching on.

*Don't bother Googling for Huor Stark. That's my own shit b/c this ITE grad only enjoy analyzing and solving pointless lulz.

An intro to a girl whom every pedo fears

Yes, I know this is a shit joke based on some Arya meme done to the death. However, it must be noted that Arya is truly a little girl capable of killing anyone. Dany once stated her confidence that she wouldn't die halfway, but that's because the Mother of Dragons had never understood the brutality behind death. Indeed when Jaqen H'ghar taught young Arya the title of this post, he failed to explain to her what it really means. [1]

As it turned out, Valar morghulis means "all men must die" in High Valyrian. Something which would end up being Arya's character focus and her source of many an anguish. Please note that High Valyrian doesn't subscribe to gender segregation within this context.

So what is Arya like as a girl?

1. "Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child. The ‘Wolf Blood', my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave."

~Ned Stark

2. "Arya had always been harder to tame."

~Catelyn Stark (Tully)

3. "And Arya, well...Ned's visitors would oft mistake her for a stableboy if they rode into the yard unannounced. Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half a boy, half a wolf pup. Forbid her anything and it became her heart's desire. She had Ned's long face, and brown hair that always looked as though a bird had been nesting in it. I despaired of ever making a lady of her. She collected scabs as other girls collected dolls, and would say anything that came into her head."

~Catelyn Stark (Tully)

4. "A boy has more courage than sense."

~Jaqen H'ghar (on "Arry")

A survivor on every count

In spite of whatever idiocy costing him a head and so much more, Ned was actually right on his youngest daughter. It's been described that Arya looked much more like a Stark than a Tully [2], for all we know this might be Ser Martin's way of telling us how the Starks were like before Aegon I crashed Westeros. [3] This is best exemplified in the latter volumes where she ended up in Braavos. However, it must be added that said talent (and I really mean it as one) had its origin from Braavos.

How to be a lady holding a Needle

Syrio Forel, former First Sword of Braavos. What makes him so special? Firstly, Ned had accepted a long time ago that Arya wasn't meant to be some prissy noblewoman waiting to be married off. This was Sansa's dream, but a prince Arya has never desired. Therefore, Stark Sr needed to make a choice. Should he try binding Arya against her will or allow her to run free? Remember what got Lyanna killed, understand as well how much of a Lady Stark is Arya. In short, Ned never wanted his youngest daughter to live under any royal/nobility's yoke. In fact, Lyanna once stated that even if she was to marry Robert Baratheon rather than her beloved Dragon Prince, certain things would remain unchanged. [4] To sum this logic in a nutshell, Ned didn't see any need to curtail Arya's freedom despite whatever misgivings from an overprotective Cat. [5] At least in Syrio's famous last words, "not today".

Thereafter, let us dissect (no pun intended, folks) the nature of Syrio's martial ethos.

1. All men are made of water, this is the fundamental of fundamentals. I believe when Syrio talked about water, it's not necessarily referring to blood. Rather, he's referring to the symbolic meaning. Blood quintessentially means life, this was especially significant during the Old Testament era [6] where it was said that no one is allowed to eat any meat with blood in it. Why? Because blood basically means life. Just don't ask me anything on biblical theology please.

You see, when you take a person's life away (literally that is), he/she dies. The art of Water Dancing is all about killing the opponent outright. No matter how strong you are, no man can ever be God.

Water leaks out from your head, you die.

Water leaks out from your heart, you surely die.

Water leaks out from your throat, you confirm die.

While 'tis true to say Braavos was at least partially inspired by the Iberian culture, it is to my opinion that Water Dancing is something inspired chiefly by Deutsche Schule, otherwise known as the German school of fencing. Of course Ser Martin did mod many things, but the basics still stay untouched, i.e. one stroke to kill.

2. This is not the Westeros' dance; this is the Braavos dance. Syrio summed it up the best when he described derisively the nature of Westerosi swordsmanship. Hacking and cutting with nary a fluid grace and cunning guile. Herein, allow me to have the temerity in making this parallel:

Middlesbrough vs Man Utd, Aitor Karanka vs David Moyes. Whether such what-if happening in Old Trafford or at the Riverside doesn't matter. Likewise, it doesn't matter what manner of a winning 11 would start the match. If Middlesbrough possessed inferior players, it only means Utd had only one third victory stashed inside. If Karanka managed to outwit Moyes, one third victory will still be offset by a two third advantage.

I know I suck at mathematics since primary school, but I know what I'm talking about. In short, the Braavos dance is NOT only about fighting pretty, but above all boasting a wide array of technique tantamount to actual pragmatism. Key to victory or defeat lies in understanding the situation before the opponent.
If you can win, go ahead.
If you cannot win, why fight?
If there's no point in winning, one must then make the correct call.

3. The target is small, have you ever heard of this famous idiom? The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Figuratively, it means using the law of psychology. Literally wise, we would need to explore the law of physics. This is why neutrals tend to laud world class players like Messi, CR7, Ribéry, and Zizou as... well, world class players.

The only Q&A that matters in life

Memes are meant to be funny, but not where Nymeria is concerned.

This would be Syrio's last moment before Ser Martin officially declared him MIA. If there's any trait this amigo of House Stark sorely lacks, it would be going AWOL. Many observers said Ned's imminent execution was the turning point, but I'd rather call that particular episode the first major catalyst. Syrio's final advice was the real first cause behind Arya's warped development.

When we say "Not today" before the Grim Reaper himself, it merely means we live to fight another day. We can try cheating death on literal terms, but not forever. You can be saved from cancer, but it doesn't mean you won't die from cardiac arrest. You can detect heart murmurs via ECG, but it doesn't mean that pretty radiologist won't discover any anomaly via MRI.

What I'm trying to say is this: every minute lived is a minute gone, every second thereafter means nothing till the fat lady sings. In life, we would have many regrets and ultimately a common death. This is exactly why every decision made shouldn't be taken lightly. Life is all about decision making, the time had came for Arya to decide her fate.

The most precious lesson Syrio Forel left behind was not about fighting, but rather fighting in order to stay alive. This was why he said thus to little Arya:
"My words lied. My eyes and my arm shouted out the truth, but you were not seeing."

~To be cont'd due to current self disciplinary measures enforced N ages ago...

[1]: No less deliberately due to his identity both outed and unknown. Ser Martin really enjoys doing irony.

[2]: In the greatest show of genetic paradox, a certain Bastard of Winterfell also possesses this interesting trait.

[3]: Statement was meant to be unnecessary, please no internet theories. At least don't quote me on anything unsubstantial.
[4]: http://unanswered-bloke-works.blogspot.com/2012/11/q-on-that-most-tragic-romance-of-decade.html
[5]: Something which we have to credit her for if we're talking about being humane and not someone like this.
[6]: Actually come to think of it, I believe the same goes for Islam due to how contemporary intellectuals define monotheism, i.e. the three Abrahamic faiths. Jennifer Walters melayu was right in saying I'm actually quite knowledgeable.

A Game of Trollolol (abbrev: AGoT trollolol East Asia)

Apparently, traditional East Asian values have gotten compromised. Big time. Ofc since Korean cable would never air stuff unsafe for little children, all the impressionable 후배 and serious 선배 decided to do this. Since I'm still an avid manga/anime fan, I hereby decided to do my own A Song of Ice and Fire CV cast. Note that list ain't complete, blame G.R.R Troll for trolling us w/so many characters.*
*Musibot. Orang mati banyak sia... Ned mati lagi, Walder pls mampos cepat.
A/N-All images are taken from Zerochan, I can't draw anything.

Cast & CV

Jon Snow
{The Snow of Winterfell}


CV: 杉山 紀彰

Daenerys Targaryen

{Mother of Dragons}

CV: 川澄 綾子

Arya Stark
{Valar Morghulis}

CV: 植田 佳奈

Cersei Lannister
{Hear Me Roar!}
Jaime Lannister
{Kingslayer}


CV: 桑島 法子
(Cersei)
CV: 諏訪部 順一
(Jaime)

Bran Stark
{The Winged Wolf}


CV: 優希 比呂

Sansa Stark
{Little Bird}


CV: 下屋 則子

Petyr Baelish
{Littlefinger}


CV: 子安 武人

Sandor Clegane
{The Hound}


CV: 置鮎 龍太郎

Margaery Tyrell
{The Little Rose}

CV: 白石 涼子

Euron Greyjoy
{Crow's Eye}


CV: 中田 均志

Eddard Stark
{Lord of Winterfell}
Robert Baratheon
{The Fiercest Warrior of the Realm}


CV: 小山 力也
(Eddard)
CV: 小杉 十郎太
(Robert)

Rhaegar Targaryen
Lyanna Stark
{Star-cross'd}


CV: 緑川 光
(Rhaegar)
CV: 冬馬 由美
(Lyanna)

P.S: ありがとう/감사합니다 to G.R.R Martin-san/저자-님. This is yours truly speaking here even though I'm using that cheat code better known as Google. A Ranger's Tale (浪者の物語/레인저신기) still got a long way to go, 'tis gonna be my greatest challenge for now. :)

Lyrics

A Game of Trollolol ver.Lannister (aka AGoT always pays its debts)

Nothing better to do, want to restart my Zhou Yu engine to no avail... therefore...

Know your b'day, know your zodiac sign.
Select your character, you win or you die.
[Above meme is reason behind this stupid post]
P.S: Jialat, I born in Nov 1st, my sis born in April 2nd...

Me bastard, the rest all abang hitam...

Now brain lagi hyper liao due to sleeping too much from 5+ in afternoon to 11 at night or so. So in case I still need more kun before finishing new chapter of ART...

P.S: Post weirdly inspired by my laopeh watching PRC news channel... apparently, we got things going south and brother killing brother further north. Don't believe me, go try asking Dongmyeongseongwang... wah, title lagi cumbersome sia...

P.S: Have G.R.R Trollolol trolled these blokes yet?

Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow

A/N: I'm not a default endorser of JxD, but it seems that a particular post speculating on Jon Snow has created a nuke bomb out of a cluster bomb. In S'porean talk, we call this massive upgrading.

Proof of my words above, please do not click if you're under 18-21. I swear there's a brief montage of Dany's tits unless it's a case of my laopeh buggering me to sleep now.

Final shout out-Apologies to Ms Seow-turned-Mrs Wong if you're to ask me again why I every time stay so late. My brain feeds off momentum, I also say girls are considered exception to the rule. Future Mrs Sim, I appreciate your suggestion tbh.

Like a boss...

So might as well do something to forget the humid heat. Now if only I can get my most ideal career advancement within the next 1/2 year. Yes, this statement here is yours truly bullshitting... -.-'

P.S: I suddenly realised that people in my workplace suddenly have that weird penchant in calling me boss. As if I will make it big lol! -.-;

"Some had been heroes, some weaklings, knaves, or cravens. Most were only men-quicker and stronger than most, more skilled with sword and shield, but still prey to pride, ambition, lust, love, anger, jealousy, greed for gold, hunger for power, and all the other failings that afflicted lesser mortals. The best of them overcame their flaws, did their duty, and died with their swords in their hands. The worst...The worst were those who played the game of thrones."

DISCLAIMER!

Firstly, I never have any first person experience with the novels/HBO series. In short, a lot of stuff here is all about me fighting blind plus one hand tied. Therefore, my own analysis should be seen as my personal views. That plus I'm trying to get myself back in the groove so as to speak.

WARNING!

Swearing galore most likely, either you proceed with caution or no caution at all. Remember Ned and Robb, folks.

Question 1: Who is Ser Barristan "the Bold" Selmy?

One of the major talking points in-plot has always been about Ser Barristan Selmy's role, both during Robert's Rebellion and post-rebellion. Firstly, a lot has been said on Barristan being a yes-man in white. [1] However, the thing is this:

Just like the rest of the Kingsguard during the reign of King Aerys II, Ser Barristan Selmy is not one to question orders, he is also not one to question real honour.

In short, he KNOWS what the Mad King was guilty of, the only thing holding him back was duty to the king. Yet, it's also worth mentioning that Ser Badass' most ideal king was Rhaegar Targaryen and not anybody else. Alas, it seems that not even Rhaegar trusted him hundred percent.

Flaws of character and honour

Why is that the case? To me, Rhaegar is a far better judge in personal character than most before and after him. He trusted Ser Arthur Dayne because Ser Arthur Dayne was much more inclined to follow him rather than that mad fucker of his old man. Ser Badass Selmy, however, would be torn in between the two. [2]

Interestingly enough, his obsession in duty above personal needs might have a certain history in the form of a certain Prince Duncan Targaryen. They say the purest love will doom every dynasty more oft than not, Prince Rhaegar was not the first.

The Prince of Dragonflies loved Jenny of Oldstones so much he cast aside a crown, and Westeros paid the price in corpses.

~ Ser Barristan Selmy

The Tragedy of Summerhall was the cause of Prince Duncan's death, it also signaled an eerie premonition where House Targaryen was concerned. [3]

In fact, when Daenerys commented his "sad" blue eyes, this was a testament on how far he has gone in terms of sorrow and self-denial. [4]

Still, we have to respect da boss

"Ser Barristan is as valiant and honorable as any man in King's landing."

This was Ned's take on Ser Boss Selmy. Given how Robert's Rebellion happened and Ned's relationship with Robert Baratheon taking a turn for the worse [5], it's worthy to note that House Starks' brand of honour had made Ned somewhat cynical towards 90% of those around him. [6] Seeing such a glowing statement of praise will only mean this: Ned and Barristan DO get along finely all the while. Even better than how he interacted with Robert if I say so myself. [7]

"...dismissing Selmy, where was the sense in that? Yes, the man was old, but the name of Barristan the Bold still has meaning in the realm, He lent honor to any man he served."

This was Tywin Lannister's appraisal. There was no love lost between the two [8], yet we must also understand that Tywin has always been an accurate judge of character. If Roose Bolton was all about scheming against whatever his enemies' weakness, then Tywin was truly a leader of men. And to be a worthy leader, one must understand the capabilities of those fighting for him and against him. [9] 

"The small folk talk of him the same way they talk of Serwyn of the Mirror Shield [10] and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight."

This time round, it's Tyrion's turn. Firstly, Prince Aemon the Dragonknight was a legendary Kingsguard who had served a whopping 4 generations of kings till the day of his demise. His skill in blade and years of service had secured Ser Barristan the same standing with Prince Aemon in the eyes of the small folk.

However, we have to note down an important coincidence. Namely, the little known fact that Aemon had fought a certain Cregan Stark before with claims that he never faced a finer swordsman. Should we see that as an eerie parallel on whatever friendship Ser Barristan had forged with the Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell? [11]

How to quit like a boss

Interestingly enough, Ser Boss already has the intent to ragequit like a boss. This was down to his thoughts on King Robert's reaction towards Rhaegar's dead children where upon he stated the cold hard truth. [12]

Of course since he's honour bound to serve, he could only give Robert that benefit of doubt. [13] In addition, there was also a legitimate reason behind him accepting Robert's pardon. You see, Robert Baratheon was always an admirer towards Ser Boss' purest brand of honour and fighting skills truly like a boss. When he was seriously wounded during Battle of the Trident, Robert chose to save him instead of Roose Bolton's dastardly advice otherwise entitled "cut his throat like a bawss, bawss."

In fact, it could be said that Barristan's only way of life is that of wearing the white cloak. Without such an office, he would have nothing to live for. This might explain a guilt-ridden mentality over his perceived failure in protecting King Robert, this WILL explain the reason behind words uttered by Die Chef himself..

"A hall to die in, and men to bury me. I thank you, my lords...but I spit on your pity...I am a knight...I shall die a knight."

"Have no fear, sers, your king is safe...no thanks to you. Even now, I could cut through the five of you as easy as a dagger carves cheese. If you would serve under the Kingslayer, then not a one of you is fit to wear the white."

A voyage of exile and renewal

After Ned's freak execution, Ser Boss was forced to make a choice. He knew he's lucky enough to exile himself out of self volition instead of death, he knew he had to find a more worthy king to serve. The only problem? He didn't know where to start. His service as a Kingsguard was one made out of self volition, he should be held equally culpable. [14] This was when he knew Dany to be his last chance saloon since she's the only other legitimate heir to the Iron Throne. [15]

Interestingly speaking, the thing about Ser Boss' self imposed exile is this: during his years as a pit fighter, Ser Boss would always opt to let every opponent cut him first before dealing the death blow. [16] Are we seeing a martyr mindset? To me, every cut allowed is a cutting reminder of Barristan's foolishness. His foolishness in serving the Usurper, his foolishness in mingling with the likes of Ser Kingslayer and his thunderslut sister-queen.

And what about Dany? Dany by then was no longer the shy and meek Dany. This was now Daenerys Targaryen, Daenerys the Stormborn. A worthy queen served by the future Lord Commander of the future Queensguard.

However, it's worthy to note that Ser Boss' own sense of self-guilt has given birth to another far more subtle failing and it's called "wa si li eh ah-kong". [17] You see, the last thing Ser Boss ever wanted was a repeat of King Aerys II more than anything else. He knew the fatal trapping behind the Targaryen lineage, it's called a 50-50 chance of madness. Viserys and the Mad King failed their tikam [18] test, Rhaegar however passed his graduation exam with flying colours. [19]

Even with Dany passing her graduation exam, Ser Boss wasn't that convinced of her ability. In short, it's not down whatever extent, but rather nature. More than once, opinion clashes had been somewhat of a constant fixture. Queen Boss says A, Ser Boss says B. The best example of constructive dissent? The Unsullied.

A Tale of Two Betrayers

Weirdly enough, title reminds me of a particular episode in my church, but still kids will always be kids. But anyway, one interesting fact is that there was only one betrayer to start with: Ser Jorah Mormont. [20] Back then, Dany didn't know Whitebeard to be Ser Boss' moniker. After a bout of ladylike petulance, fortune finally favours the bold. [21] Ser Betrayer got royally impeached, Ser Boss got royally reinstated.

A Dance with Dragons=A Dance with Dreams

This was finally Ser Boss' real moment of badassery. Firstly, he opposed to Dany's relationship with a certain Daario Naharis and this time round, he may be right after all. [22]

Secondly, this was arguably Dany's make or break transition as ruler. Will she be Aegon the Conqueror with tits or will she be Aerys the Mad with tits? Ser Boss Selmy might have found himself saddled with additional duties as a mentor.

Thirdly, he has truly proven himself not only as a fighter amongst men, but above all a teacher of men. [23]

Fourth is all about him gaining a far cooler head as an individual. If it's Ser Badass Selmy years ago, he would have cut down Bloodbeard just like how he would like to cut King Robert down to size. Apparently, importance of protocol has always been the fundamentals of diplomacy. Ser Badass Selmy understood that, let us all give him a hand.

Fifth: In spite of prior objection towards Dany purchasing the Unsullied, Ser Boss Selmy has finally convinced this badass army to follow him. Take note that as a truly badass army, the Unsullied are only obliged to follow Dany. Therefore, by managing to convince this very badass army to follow him should the Yunkai attack Meeren, we have finally seen Ser Boss like a boss. Not that he's never a boss anyway.

Lastly, what can I say?

Ser Barristan Selmy has spent much of his life floundering post-Rebellion, he is truly one bereft of the right to dream. His unrequited love for Lady Ashara Dayne nearly broke him [24], he still chose to soldier on. He remembers his failings, he remembers his duty. He is one not to flinch, he is one worthy of a peaceful death once his time calls. This is a bold man, a brave man, a wise man. Let future regrets worry for themselves, for the time of glory now beckons.

[1]: Nothing political in nature, so please longzong mai-chusiah.

[2]: In Minghui-matics equation, it means mad fucker still the king=everyone suck thumb

[3]: Full ver-Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna and thousands died for it. Daemon Blackfyre loved the first Daenerys, and rose in rebellion when denied her. Bittersteel and Bloodraven both loved Shiera Seastar and the Seven Kingdoms bled. The Prince of Dragonflies loved Jenny of Oldstones so much he cast aside a crown, and Westeros paid the bride price in corpses. All three of the sons of the fifth Aegon had wed for love in defiance of their father's wishes. And because that unlikely monarch had followed his heart when he chose his queen, he allowed his sons to have their way, making bitter enemies when he might have made fast friends. Treason and turmoil followed, as night follows day, ending at Summerhall in sorcery, fire and grief.

[4]: Otherwise known as Lady Ashara Dayne.

[5]: Promise me, Ned...

[6]: And Robert's callous reaction towards the manner of death where Rhaegar's family was concerned didn't help out that well.

[7]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkPMA7R9hek

[8]: Sack of King's Landing, Elia Martell and her two children. 'Nuff said.

[9]: Freakily enough, that was also the reason why Tywin knew Arya was a girl in disguise despite the obvious in all things female development.

[10]: Serwyn being haunted by the ghosts of every knight he killed do have an eerie ring.

[11]: Or inversely the Bastard of Winterfell himself?

[12]: Namely he would have gladly cut Robert Baratheon down to size.

[13]: In short, we call this an actual Rule 32.

[14]: Ironically, it also means Ned was the only one actually non-culpable.

[15]: Gendry doesn't count since Ser Boss knows nothing about him.

[16]: No, not this standard.

[17]: In Hokkien, it means I am your grandfather.

[18]: Singlish for gamble. Remember, kids and adults, gambling is bad for you.

[19]: Proof that you don't need 26K to prove your excellence... if only life is really like that.

[20]: Thankfully, Jeor Mormont didn't know a shit because he's away at the Wall. 老子我有教你当个不忠、不孝、不仁、不义的龟孙王八吗？？？？ 凸(｀0´)凸

[21]: No, this ain't a pun. It's meant to be literal.

[22]: ...three fires must you light... one for life and one for death and one to love... three mounts must you ride... one to bed and one to dread and one to love... three treasons will you know... once for blood and once for gold and once for love... See that one common word?

[23]: 50 Stark, 50 Targaryen. What's your breed, boy? Yes, this is me unofficially shipping Jon x Dany despite knowing G.R.R Trollolol himself.

[24]: If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark?

He would never know. But of all his failures, none haunted Barristan Selmy so much as that.