El Estratega: Cinco

This is the story of a guy, 0. 0 is someone w/o a life. For 10+ yrs, he's been struggling w/2 things.

1. The fact that he felt unwanted by the society.

2. The fact that no girl likes him.

0 didn't know what's wrong w/himself, this actually continued till his working days. Nearing 30 w/nothing next to shit future wise. No good income for his future, no self esteem for himself and no gf to make him feel loved.

During work, he ended up having a crush on a few girls working in another dept. Numero uno was virtually unattainable due to her beauty, numero dos was pretty much the same due to how 0 perceived her character. Numero tres would most likely nvr choose him, numero cuatro... well basically comparing her to 0 is like comparing Wanda Maximoff with Nightcrawler. [1]

Then it happened. Somehow or another, numero tres seemed to notice 0. But only twice that is. 0 couldn't let go of the question whether numero tres really noticed him or not. Hence, he chose to believe it as coincidence. A freak one that is.

One aimless passion led to something wildly beyond his dreams. 0 started a blog b/c he got nothing better to do. Said blog got canned b/c 0 was and still is a virtual zero in terms of interaction. Then 0 started his 2nd blog. Somehow or another, blog numero dos became a big hit. To see his local blog garnering local hits may be natural, but there's nothing natural over the fact that his main audience hail from all over the world. Got countries speaking English, also got many countries that doesn't speak English in a general sense. Got China, ofc natural. Also got S.Korea and Japan, that one confirm unnatural.

People now seemed to start noticing 0. Subtle respect given via courtesy is now an everyday occurrence. His parents and sister now prefer to give some major breathing space. 0 dared not believe his eyes and ears, 0 preferred believing everything was just this: a freak coincidence. The fact that the CEO of his workplace friend requested him on FB may seem like nothing. The only catch? He didn't know said CEO got FB account.
Plenty of A*Star individuals have started taking major notice of 0's little red dot of a nation. First to come was some special guest from Portugal who happened to be quite prideful in terms of all things football. That was like shortly after Portugal won Denmark during Euro 2012. Then others started following suit, not the least that Portuguese's imminent big boss.

So how about 0's love life? Due current circumstances perceived, 0 developed a sharp sensitivity in terms of his surroundings. Numero tres seemed to have undergone some kind of major makeover and this makeover actually coincided with the period where 0 suddenly felt not so zero. In a weird twist of fate however, numero tres got a bf. Only that it's not 0.

So did 0 feel hurt? Amazingly enough, the answer is a resounding no.
[to be cont'd later soon (in part 6 or 7, sorry...)]

We got the Great Singapore Sale, history got the Great Han Bailout

沛公之从雒阳南出轘辕，良引兵从沛公，下韩十余城，击破杨熊军。沛公乃令韩王成留守阳翟，与良俱南，攻下宛，西入武关。沛公欲以兵二万人击秦峣下军，良说曰：“秦兵尚强，未可轻。臣闻其将屠者子，贾竖易动以利。愿沛公且留壁，使人先行，为五万人具食，益为张旗帜诸山上，为疑兵，令郦食其持重宝啖秦将。”

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Duke of Pei emerged from Luoyang, his forces marching till Huanyuan. Liang led his forces to follow him. As a result, a score of Han cities were taken down with Yang Xiong's army routed. The Duke of Pei ordered the King of Han, Cheng, to defend Yangdi as Liang continued his journey with the Duke of Pei down south. The land of Wan was subsequently conquered, their men advancing westbound into the Wu pass. The Duke of Pei attempted to attack the Qin forces deployed at the lower high ground with twenty thousand men. Liang said thus: "The Qin army remains strong, we must not underestimate them. Your lowly vassal heard that their general is murderous in nature, yet opportunistic when it comes to self profiting. May m'lord stay behind while sending men ahead of us. Fifty thousand will suffice, they must be encamped at the surrounding mountains as decoys. As for the enemy commander, Li Yiji can bribe him with valuable treasures."

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

So we now have it! The first climax belonging to Zhang Liang! Wait, that sounds a bit wrong... okay nvr mind. So apparently, it's blatantly implied that during the standoff, the Qin forces managed to recoup their losses, i.e. retaking some of the territories previously held by the Han army. Remember what I've said in the previous part on skirmishes and the necessity behind curbstomping the bullies?

Let it be known that the army commanded by Liu Bang was most likely nowhere better than the rest. Or maybe try imagining things this way:

Do you think Boro has a squad better than the rest in the Championship?

Do you think Boro can compete with the likes of Fulham, Cardiff and Norwich?

Do you think we have 11 million quids to spend?

Do you think we really ended up signing Lewis "not Hamilton" Grabban?

Do you even think Gibbo is actually a Malaysian coming from the north east?

OH HELL NO!

We don't have a better squad b/c this is the Championship, the type of league capable of footballing feats eclipsing whatever David-Goliath moments in domestic cups.

We don't have the luxury of big $$$ parachute payouts approved by whoever upstairs last season.

11 million for Ross "not McCormick" McCormack? Refer above stated rant.

Norwich managed to grab Grabban, not us. Karanka chose to go Spanish modal once more since Real Murcia got some free scoring sucker willing to sign for us.

As for whether Gibbo is truly one hell of a Malaysian, you'll really have to ask his parents. [2]

So what truly made Liu Bang able to secure victory over an opposition more superior?

The Qin forces had the defensive advantage in terms of securing vital high ground (read: the horde of Chaos have pulled off a Zerg atop some bloody mountain!).

The Qin forces might also have boasted the advantage in numbers (read: the Orcs and Goblins are swarming like mob respawn!)

BUT...

There's a problem w/the Qin commander (no Beast of Chaos is ever free from being bloodthirsty w/o reason)

There's a problem w/the Qin comander (no worshiper of Gork and Mork is ever free from being your everyday schoolyard bully subjected under real idiocracy).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to bribe said commander (b/c Athel Loren is a place brimming with rumoured treasures).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to stage a fear tactic based on effective deployment via numbers+close proximity (hello, 50K is super a lot during the ancient times, okay?).

Final statement is virtually a case of the Asrai telling themselves "hey, let's deploy 5000 of our own like that. Maybe like 50 Waywatchers, 500 Wardancers, 1000 Glade Guards, 500 Glade Riders and the rest being our spanking new Wildwood Rangers lolz!"

The Qin commander was one bloody short sighted bastard, I will give him that. Not only was he a person who enjoyed killing the weak, he's also a yes man in the face of momentary profit. Sounds familiar to you? Don't worry, we all met this kind of bugger in school before. Scally you might even have this bugger in your office as well. #sianhalfmonday

In this world, the scariest kind of opponent you can come up against may not be the strongest bully in the playground. Rather, fear the kind of person capable of controlling that strongest bully just b/c that bloke is able to perceive things via his opponent's POV. It doesn't matter whether that guy looks like Robert Pattinson or Sorimachi Takashi, it doesn't matter whether he sparkles like Edward Cullen or whooping actual arseholes like Great Teacher Onizuka Eikichi himself. [3]

The outcome?

秦将果叛，欲连和俱西袭咸阳，沛公欲听之。良曰：“此独其将欲叛耳，恐士卒不从。不从必危，不如因其解击之。”

沛公乃引兵击秦军，大破之。遂北至蓝田，再战，秦兵竟败。遂至咸阳，秦王子婴降沛公。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Qin commander indeed rebelled, his intention being an ally (to the Duke of Pei) in order to assault Xianyang from the west. The Duke of Pei wanted to accede to the request, yet Liang advised against it by saying: "This is merely the intent of their commander, his men will surely not oblige. If we do not indulge him, we'd be courting danger. Best if we attack first."

Hence the Duke of Pei led his forces to attack the Qin army, the enemy routed as a result. Upon turning north till Lantian, the Qin army were defeated once again upon combat. Travelling till Xianyang at last, the Qin ruler Ziying surrendered to the Duke of Pei.

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

Herein we truly see Zhang Liang's moment of glory. Firstly, he accurately predicted two things, namely:

1. The army remained loyal, only the commander stayed a traitor.

2. If Liu Bang was to rebuff whatever fake olive branch offered, the Qin commander would surely rally his troops to fight Liu Bang. All in the name of loyalty, all in the name of actual hypocrisy.

If we can envision Zhang Liang's expression via a meme or two, it should be something like...

Steve once taught me the meaning of suck thumb, this has grown into my fave NSF jargon. Zhang Liang knew a suck thumb problem when he perceived one, he knew shit would be damned either way. If you're in Zhang Liang's shoes, what would you do? Don't tell me you'd say the same thing b/c that will be firing the horse backside cannon. [4]

When we're faced w/problems and questions, we tend to go by the textbook format. If Zhang Liang was somebody like that, then we won't see a Han dynasty. Chances are, we'd end up seeing Xiang Yu becoming the 2nd Emperor of China. This IS the mark of true blue talent, someone capable of making things happen like a true blue genius.

Someone (I forgot who, heard it from Neil Humphreys) from Everton once said that grit is up there (in the heavens), flair is somewhere below in his trousers. My apologies if I got the club wrong, but can we blame England for being Engrand? This is proof of textbook generic thinking, NOT the mark of an actual true blue local talent! Who are we to say there are only two options? Who are we to say that there's no path numero tres? Rules are meant to be followed, circumstances are NOT meant for the rules.

So what was Zhang Liang's path numero tres? Self explanatory, triple efficiency.

Combat analysis via footie speak

Attacking the opponent when they least expect it. Hypocrites call it cowardice, proponents of literal efficiency call it the only way or the highway. Honour only counts where it matters most, i.e. the outcome. No Bretonnian moron will ever say "we won despite losing because of honour!" if said idiot ended up getting sniped by Skarloc the Mistwalker. Want to boast abt honour, wait till you get the results first. Want to boast abt being a scoundrel, make sure you get away w/it first.

This is where DFB-Elf holds the advantage as the fastest counterattacking team of 2014. If Argentina play it safe, Joachim "not Daisy Hi-Lo" Löw has Toni "die Tonika" Kroos and Thomas "die Meeräsche" Müller. If Argentina play aggro, the Krauts will get high due to Sami "die WTF?!" Khedira and Bastian "die Bastion" Schweinsteiger getting super high.

Pursuing the opponent is one thing, defeating them despite a mass tactical re-roll on their part speaks volumes on two factors, namely momentum and knowing where to chase them. This is like playing Nightcrawler, a character consistently in the imba tier when it comes to every video game licensed by Marvel. [5] I dunno abt you, but I believe Kurt Wagner should be played as a hit+run melee rogue where simple combos should be the key to real badassery. [6]

This where La Albiceleste holds the edge. Make no mistake abt it, Estádio Maracanã is the antithesis of Britannia. It's like playing in the Riverside minus the fanfare and respect. Once you boss the possession, anything is possible. 'Tis one thing to do a tactical re-roll, quite another to force the opponent's hand via possession+movement+momentum.

Prediction: Sorry, I'm not Zhang Liang or Guo Jia. If Twitter allows me to choose two teams instead of one, surely it'll be the 2 teams in the Grande Finale. [7]

To be cont'd...

[1]: "Kurt, you are one charming devil." Did Scarlet Witch actually said that in Marvel Heroes? :o

[2]: Bar an absolute failure, you can try obtaining DNA sample so that the real Hank McCoy can lend his expertise.

[3]: NSFW WARNING!!!!!!!!

[4]: In Mr Eric Soh's own words, it's called 放马后炮.

[5]: Proof that Marvel actually felt guilty for dissing Kurt's mass appeal? Guess so...

[6]: Which is why fighting Dr Doom on Terminal mode=greatest "boss rush" challenge ever.

[7]: Refer back to what Mr Eric Soh said pls... :P

Note of self-wankery:

Since 99% of those sharing my surname are most likely scoundrels or nobodies, might as well I add this vid below to sate my own ego... :D

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