[汉六年，人有上书告楚王韩信反。高帝问诸将，诸将曰：“亟发兵坑竖子耳。”
高帝默然。以问平，平固辞谢，曰：“诸将云何？” 上具告之。
平曰：“人之上书言信反，人有闻知者乎？”
曰：“未有。”曰：“信知之乎？”
曰：“弗知。”
平曰：“陛下兵精孰与楚？”
上曰：“不能过也。”
平曰：“陛下将用兵有能敌韩信者乎？”
上曰：“莫及也。”
平曰：“今兵不如楚精，将弗及，而举兵击之，是趣之战也，窃为陛下危之。”
上曰：“为之奈何？”
平曰：“古者天子巡狩，会诸侯。南方有云梦，陛下第出伪游云梦，会诸侯于陈。陈，楚之西界，信闻天子以好出游，其势必郊迎谒。而陛下因禽之，特一力士之事耳。”
高帝以为然，乃发使告诸侯会陈，“吾将南游云梦”。上因随以行。行至陈，楚王信果郊迎道中。高帝豫具武士，见信，即执缚之。]
Summary: The above text is all about the aftermath of unification. Apparently, Han Xin was trying to play rebel for whatever reasons. Of course no one ever said Liu Bang was a saint since there's a difference between a hooligan and an emperor. Try doing a fusion and you'll only end up with a hooligan emperor. Liu Bang did mature quite a lot ever since he killed the snake donkey years ago. However, this is maturing of absolute power that we're talking about. In short, we call this saturated power.
Now I know I'll be speaking like a smart-ass jerk-ass and a lot of us enjoy castigating despots. But hey, guess what? If I have absolute power and $$$, I'll be an idiot for not wanting to get whatever Korean/Japanese/Chinese/Western A-listers as my secret gfs. See? Logic very simple, I've just demonstrated what it means to be in a despot's shoes.*
*Although as a horrendously flawed Christian, I'll be content with only 1 gf who shares with me the same interests and beliefs. Looks wise, I'll be a liar to say it's not an issue. Ofc if you don't know me, quite obviously you won't know my standards, you'd rather believe I like girls with great figure+looks. However, I'd be aliar if I say I dun like local SG girls. Whether I got legit target or not, this is my answer.
So upon whatever stunt Han Xin had officially pulled off, what is Liu Bang gonna do? Surely he's not that stupid to get himself banged by an enemy spear, let alone letting strangers banging his harem (let's just face it, he's the 2nd Emperor of China after all, he's definitely an enviable bastard. See? This profound thinker here isn't lying!).
In a nutshell, His Majesty Liu called for an emergency meeting, he ended up asking Chen Ping. Because we all know what kind of bastard repute Chen Ping had enjoyed all the while, because we tend to invoke the term "military bastards" due to crimes against humanity. So what's Chen Ping's answer? Firstly, he asked a stupid question: how would Your Majesty rate your army against those under the Chu Lord (i.e. Han Xin)?
Basically, this will be like me asking Mogga: "Eh, boss. How would you rate our lads against Chelsea since it's Mourinho we're gonna face next week in the league?"
His Mega Majesty Liu's answer?
 |
| Yes, all you ppl. This is me doing a satirical take. Either you're clever enough or stupid enough. |
Chen Ping's answer?
Solution offered? Give Han Xin this face:
As it turned out, Han Xin only himself to blame for getting conned. You see, he's assuming that no one knows about his plans. However, Chen Ping managed to pull off that preemptive bluff by informing His Mega Holy Majesty is inviting everybody for a ritual hunt of sorts since I know my own race/society in terms of strength, I also know my own race/society in terms of flaws.
As for Han Xin? Evidently, he got busted via surprise ambush.
A/N: Han Xin, however, didn't get himself killed because of this episode. He merely got rank-nerfed until that moment where Xiao He stabbed him in the back. Ironically, this was the bloke who ensured Han Xin's service under Liu Bang, hence being the catalyst to the latter's imminent fame. A little wonder why there's a common saying: "Xiao He the cause of success, Xiao He the cause of downfall." [成也萧何，败也萧何]
上曰：“吾用先生计谋，战胜克敌，非功而何？”
平曰：“非魏无知臣安得进？”
上曰：“若子可谓不背本矣！”
乃复赏魏无知。]
Summary: This is the aftermath of Busted-gate where Le Bang decided to reward Chen Ping. In this conversation, Chen Ping actually REFUSED the credit rightfully due! Why ah? He siao meh?
Nah, not like that. You see, Evil Ping wasn't so evil after all because he understood the importance of fairness when it matters most. As what he said, if not for Wei Wuzhi's recommendation all those years back, would Chen Ping end up serving Le Han? No. Le Majesté isn't Le Crétin, Le Majesté also rewarded Wuzhi. Period.
[其明年，平从击韩王信于代。至平城，为匈奴围，七日不得食。高帝用平奇计，使单于阏氏解，围以得开。高帝既出，其计秘，世莫得闻。高帝南过曲逆，上其城，望室屋甚大，曰：“壮哉县！吾行天下，独见雒阳与是耳。”
顾问御史：“曲逆户口几何？”对曰：“始秦时三万余户，间者兵数起，多亡匿，今见五千余户。”
于是诏御史，更封平为曲逆侯，尽食之，除前所食户牖。
平自初从，至天下定后，常以护军中尉从击臧荼、陈豨、黥布。凡六出奇计，辄益邑封。奇计或颇秘，世莫得闻也。]
Summary: Han Xin in the end really rebelled. Unfortunately, he's not this aniki in red jersey. But enough about Han Xin, bloke is still a certified badass since he's one of the Three Badasses of Han [汉初三杰] together with Xiao He and Zhang Liang [张良].
Back to Chen Ping. Now the most amazing shit is this: Chen Ping saved the day again. While he was staging an attack on Han Xin's forces, Le Empereur got siege-attacked as well. You see, this was all about a war against the Han (Xin)-Xiong Nu alliance. For those not familiar with Chinese history, the Xiong Nu tribe was a major northern nomadic force to be reckoned with. Not only were they swift and brutal in war, but above all, they're rightfully feared for their light cavalry tactics. We all know Genghis Khan and the Mongolians, Attila and the Huns. Ask the Koreans about their warfare history and they'll give you the Khitans, ask the Japanese and they'll tell you about why the Shinsengumi was a necessity due to foreign incursion (although we, the East Asians, do have a legit history of kenna invaded left, right, and centre).
So what about Le Empereur then? Nobody knew how Chen Ping devised the ploy, we must know when Sima Qian wrote the Annals of History, that was during the rule of the Han Wu Emperor [汉武帝]. Ironically, this was also when the Xiong Nu people finally met their nemesis in the form of Huo Qubing [霍去病] who was a military prodigy ahead of his time. Needless to say however, it's double confirmed that the Shan Yu, i.e. a title akin to O' Grandest Commander in Chief, was a wife fearing man. By using said wife via unknown means, siege finally got lifted, must go thank human auto-resolve.
And ofc Chen Ping also got rewarded due to his efforts. Hence, his promotion to the Marquis of Quni. Interesting enough, the place used to be vastly populated during the Qin dynasty. Yet, due to continual warring post Qin I, not even the birds would shit on this area [鸟不拉屎的地方]. Figuratively speaking ofc since it's the people I'm talking abt. In short, big area, only problem is no one lived there. Simply put, this is truly a promotion, NOT some wayang demotion.
Final part? Well, it's just an affirmation to what Sima Qian/Ban Gu had written in history.
I now got land, because I got talent, I got six universal ploys tantamount to state secret.
[凡六出奇计，辄益邑封。奇计或颇秘，世莫得闻也。]
To be cont'd b/c I lied unintentionally when I implied I wanna finish this one asap...
Also a shout out to Part II of this HK drama despite me only watched Part I
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