That Random Blade: Die Scheiße...

Wah, German swearing siah!!!!

Since I believe fervently that my shameless self plugging before Sakaguchi-san is nearing an end, I might as well take a brief break atm (not that this is my first time guilty... hey, my Chen Ping and Fate/Zero series still tak-habis lah!!!!! Chow-keng can also keng like that... I really the King of Keng...)

Post title inspired by this...

Crisis starting from Bavaria???? I know how all you Die Scwharzgelben feel right now. Apparently, you all will still believe in the whole $$$=ASS theory and I'm not gonna blame you all for blaming D-Mark. But still crude jokes and a cruder post title aside, I do believe that this will be the greatest challenge faced by the entire Bundesliga. In short, whatever success enjoyed by German football for the past few years ever since Jogi took over the reins is now being put at jeopardy.

You see, there's nothing wrong with a two team dominance as proven by the Spanish Liga. Yet, why La Furia Roja is so successful was down to players having virtually NO beef with each other despite the presence of El Clásico Dividir. If we are to see things from the German football POV, will the same thing happen?

Jürgen "me NOT Klinsmann" Klopp was right in comparing the current situation with the current SPL with the only difference being one half of the Old Firm ****ing themselves way too hard rather than getting ****ed by their most hated other Old Firm half.

So what's next for Die Fußball?

To me, the only solution lies in effective planning ahead of time. Not just merely ahead, but light years ahead. Players like Paul "Gaijin Shinobi" Scholes and Josh "Ao no Fujiwara Takumi" McEachran can think 5 yards ahead of the rest, but who are we to say the rest across the Channel can't think at least 5 years ahead of time?

The biggest challenge for Die Klopp is to unearth more gems amounting to no more than 10% of whatever dinero paid by El Dinero himself. (Source) Yes, this is me talking cock b/c everyone must have been talking far more sense in this issue prior to me opening my golden mouth.

But still, one may wonder whether it's possible to plan whatever contingency measures upon Player A signing his contract. And I'm NOT talking abt the bail-out clause system since every rich club is also capable of that (80 million dinero ftw, Fergie def still laughing like siao at home right now).

Maybe I can try doing an example:

I see a player I like, I know he will only cost me the kind of money Mogga had splashed on Emmanuel "laser feet" Ledesma or Mustapha "Izuna Muzza" Carayol. So what do I do? Tie him on contract? Ofc lah! You think football ppl all bodoh one ah? I know ppl still ngeh-ngeh-kong saying footballers got no future in SG just by football alone, but we're talking abt Germany. Just like why Adolf Hitler doesn't belong to Singapura.

Okay, enough of talking cock, let's get to the most important part. I tie this bugger down on contract, I start hunting more heads straightaway. This will depend heavily on two fronts: the scouting network and die Akademie itself. In short, I now have Player A, it's high time for me to start finding my Player B, Player C, Player D, etc. Get die treiben, guys?

Now the interesting part on looking out for backups is this:

You do NOT sign them straightaway. Not every club is bankrolled by rich Germans, calculative Jews*, Arab $$$, Russian dictators, Spanish bankers, etc. At least not teams like Die Schwarzgelben that is. But still keeping constant lookout is a must. I know this is an insane stunt bordering on insane levels of difficulty. Football is a human sport (which ironically is the only reason behind lesser teams being robbed in the middle of 90 mins), it means planning on paper means only this much. However, careful planning is better than no planning, I don't remember any German teams having a similar recruitment policy to FC Hollywood itself. Therefore, it's important for scouting chiefs and academy heads to work closely hand-in-hand so that resources can be maximised effectively.

*Paiseh, Mr Eric Soh. I can't help poking fun at your beloved Spurs once more again... :D

Tribute to the Grand Master (no, I not talking abt Ip Man)

Firstly and foremost, I think we should all stand up and give Sir Alex Ferguson one more round of applause. Because he deserves every single shred of respect, because I respect this Scottish Grandmaster of football in spite of my constant "Ser A Fergie" jokes.

A lot of people tend to see him as a ruthless, yet protective fatherly figure. No player is bigger than the club, this is an old adage upheld true by Sir Alex Ferguson all the while. Yet, we must also give it to his ability as a master tactician and strategist. I remember reading somewhere that he used to challenge one entire nation's press pack in guessing his starting lineup come every match day, I still remember people accusing him of winding up opponents he's truly wary of (Rafa Benitez doesn't count b/c even Steve Gibson could pwn him and I'm NOT lying here). So far, so good, the only manager capable of giving this great master a run for his money is a certain Jose "Senhor Mou" Mourinho and it gets to say a lot.

His biggest achievement thus far? Being the pioneer of adapting rather than just being an Anglo Saxon turtle. I reflected back this afternoon on Arsène "le Professeur" Wenger's arrival to the then Highbury ground since I got too much free time to burn. Prior to his arrival, there might be other foreign coaches. But the kind of impact Le Professeur brought back then was to shake up the old English system. No longer more are we used to seeing blood and thunder plus nothing else. Le Professeur should be credited for introducing continental football across the English Channel where only Les Sans Instruction had supposedly dwelt. The current 4-2-3-1 possession-based model was one pioneered by Le Professeur, this had also heralded the rise of another much vaunted continental style called 4-3-3. A Scottish knight in shining armour was the first Saxon noble lord rising up to the challenge. You can call this the footballing version of Ivanhoe, I've got no problem with it. And as they tend to say afterwards, the rest is all history.

A/N: David Moyes deserves a mention for being a local Scottish talent much belittled by the press pack over all that silverware talk. Hello, guys! Everton boh-lui eh lah! （;≧皿≦）（;≧皿≦）（;≧皿≦）

And now for a bit of post-analysis talking cock

Shit happens, folks...

Moral of the story: Issac Asimov more pandai than Charles Darwin

After my anti-racist trollolol, I must now turn my sights somewhere North East. I don't give a flying damn on whether Paolo "fascist or racist?" Di Canio is the man for Wearside or whether Alan "Part Deux" Pardew has effectively destabilised the entire dressing room for the rest of 2012/2013, I only give a damn to our current crisis. The entire episode post New Year had been a disaster, people are calling for Mogga's head. Our biggest challenge on the pitch has never been about a lack in quality/attitude, but rather the scary way our defence had affected the entire team thus far. I believed only by having a strong back 4 staying firm across the pitch can we start sorting out our problems. The confidence issue is something mental, perhaps that's why our back 4 couldn't brace themselves up in time and consistently (altho I'll have to be brutally frank in saying Hull and Bolton were somewhat lucky in pulling an atomic wedgie over us).

Nicky "Hard Guy" Bailey and Andre "Motorbike" Bikey have been confirmed as casualties, it's a miracle not to see a mass exodus atm. The entire debacle seems far more like an anomaly, I don't have balls of steel to pinpoint what/where truly went wrong behind the scenes. So far so good, the weirdest bullshitting truth is that we got no players coming in, we have no players singing "good bye, my love~~~" like the late Teresa Teng herself.

Is it a sign that despite our possible predicament under the FPP, we still do have a higher chance of singing on key Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive compared to like, say, North Korea and Kim Jung Un combined?

Or maybe we will see the freak departure of Mogga after all? If Mogga left in a freak, will we end up seeing this amigo giving this manner of interview on Boro's behalf starting from next season?