Notice
We at the IRE are happy to congratulate the finest local talent our country has ever seen. Due to fame attracting paparazzi like flies to shit, we are obliged to make an example out of this stupid columnist here. There is nothing wrong with Mr. Beh winning many nominations at the Golden Pony Award, but it should be our concern that no one, and I really mean NO ONE, deserves to say he/she is better than Mr Beh. In short, we're worried about this lobo moron's mental welfare, therefore we demanded him to add this in. If you do movie, you do your very best. If you do satire, you do your very worst. Period.
~ Sincerely yours, Institute of Rogue EconomistsSigned by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai
Part 2: Preface and Disclaimer
I firmly believe my boss is being over paranoid here, but I also believe every man has his part to play. Not to mention every woman as well since men don't carry babies. Regardless of whatever plans my colleagues have in store, it should be of highest paramount that I continue doing this. Below statement is IRE's stance on privacy:
Due to the most recent Watchergate scandal purportedly started by an unnamed descendant of some deposed president, I am not allowed to reveal any names which might expose any country or major city. However, IRE has been given the green light to reveal names deemed relevant to topic at hand.
How regional crisis can further global economy via celebrated means
Holywood, the promised land of every aspiring star. Some made it big, some made it bigger. After all, there will always be stars higher than the many more below.
~Leonardo Dicapricorn
Holywood the promised land of fame and wealth, who doesn't want it? Whenever we think back on Leonardo Dicapricorn's words, I believe we all will agree with him. The only blind spot? There's a difference between hindsight and first person.
"The biggest problem with human beings is the problem of oxymoron. Whenever someone said to me 'See, I told ya!', I asked him whether he or she was around. The answer would always be no. When I asked the person next whether he or she was the one committing the act, everybody would end up cursing my father and mother instead of a living man."
Above statement was quoted by moral evolutionist, John Cavalier (1800-1899). Unto his words, renowned king of bloggers, Pervez Hilton, has this to say:
"I've always enjoyed reading Mr Cavalier's works and nothing is truer than his view on actual oxymoron. Let's ask, for example, whether it's acceptable for a girl to exhibit disturbing actions in front of public. I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. However, research has also shown that many unspeakable things are actually done in the name of privacy, hence rendering such practices acceptable unless exposed. In fact, I've heard some interesting rumors on Leonardo Dicapricorn's life when it comes to whether his current girlfriend is that hot Jewish bikini model. Not that I care about that lucky bastard anyway..."
-from his blog: I Know What You Did Last Winter; dated 24th December 201*
So what does Pervez Hilton and John Cavalier have in common? Nobody knows, but this is beside the actual topic at hand.
Holywood the promised land of fame and wealth, who doesn't want it? Whenever we think back on Leonardo Dicapricorn's words, I believe we all will agree with him. The only blind spot? There's a difference between hindsight and first person.
"The biggest problem with human beings is the problem of oxymoron. Whenever someone said to me 'See, I told ya!', I asked him whether he or she was around. The answer would always be no. When I asked the person next whether he or she was the one committing the act, everybody would end up cursing my father and mother instead of a living man."
Above statement was quoted by moral evolutionist, John Cavalier (1800-1899). Unto his words, renowned king of bloggers, Pervez Hilton, has this to say:
"I've always enjoyed reading Mr Cavalier's works and nothing is truer than his view on actual oxymoron. Let's ask, for example, whether it's acceptable for a girl to exhibit disturbing actions in front of public. I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. However, research has also shown that many unspeakable things are actually done in the name of privacy, hence rendering such practices acceptable unless exposed. In fact, I've heard some interesting rumors on Leonardo Dicapricorn's life when it comes to whether his current girlfriend is that hot Jewish bikini model. Not that I care about that lucky bastard anyway..."
-from his blog: I Know What You Did Last Winter; dated 24th December 201*
So what does Pervez Hilton and John Cavalier have in common? Nobody knows, but this is beside the actual topic at hand.
What truly happened last Christmas
Nobody had foreseen this happening even though the focus of global attention was (and still is) anything but sugar and nice. Ever since the Honey Daytona series reached its last season six years ago, Miley Citrus has been making the headlines for all the controversial reasons. Why I use the c-word here is due to an innate understanding on basic PR fundamentals within the entertainment circle. But enough about clarifications, let's summarize what exactly went on during the X'mas Music Awards (abbrev: XMA).
Above image is NOT a literal portrayal of the actual situation, this I must make it clear. Figuratively, however, this is what caused a Citrus tsunami. In her latest interview less than 24 hours ago, Miley Citrus has this to say:
"C'mon, you prudes. Where were you all during the previous XMA? Remember Aram Lambast? Yes, all you people were demanding his removal after you saw what he did last winter. Now that I've managed to give Lambast some one-upmanship, where are all you anti-Lambs? I'm not blind, I know where you are. And I will find you, I will **** you."
Prior to this interview posted in YoloTube, her relationship with the public has always been a controversy by itself. After said video was upped, the spokeswoman for YoloTube has this to say:
It is to our regret that Miley Citrus' interview clip had successfully crashed our global servers. Despite the possibility of moral hackers still at large, we at Yolotube have decided to upgrade every country's servers in order to cater whatever future demands available.
Indeed not only did Miley Citrus' antics managed to captivate the global audience, even Aram Lambast was no less utterly impressed.
"Back during my outrageous gig, I thought nothing about how people perceived me. Now that I've seen Miley Citrus performing to the max, I realized some individuals are born to be queens and even fewer meant to be goddesses. I feel sad for Robbo Dick though since he's already married."
Momentum effect amounting to global money making
Just three days ago, I chatted with a colleague who happened to be the Head of Internship Faculty. As he sipped his local black coffee without sugar in the cafeteria, Peh Lloyd has this to comment:
"Eh, Kork. You know one thing about money making? Very easy one, I tell you. Want get payload, make sure you make people angry first. Once they all start raging over what kind of bugger you are, you will see many more people supporting you. Then you devise your own product, hard sell your brand, and voila! Double confirm sure dio paydirt one!"
This is indeed the case with Miley Citrus. In fact, insiders claimed that Aram Lambast's daring stunts was the reason why she was inspired to do the same. Aram's album sales managed to hit a record high, beating the likes of more popular singers like Sealed, Taylor Rift, and hip hop quartet, Chinese Lime. In fact, Aram Lambast still remains the indisputable King of Rock in spite of recent upstarts like Once Directed and Justin Bebe. Only the evergreen rock band, Beaver and Butt, managed to pose a close challenge to Aram's current throne.
Interestingly, what raked in big bucks for Miley Citrus if Aram Lambast's success means an everlasting status in the music scene? Many were fascinated by the gigantic finger she used in her performance, something previously little known becomes a global brand. According to renowned South Korean psychologist, Eric Jang Geun Soh, this is what psychology science termed as "poking the box".
"Originated from the term 'thinking out of the box', this marketing strategy implements the usage of reverse psychology. Many a family enjoys using reverse psychology to educate the child. Say for example you tell your son not to read books. What would your son do? Theoretically, he would have shy away from books. In reality, he would be ten times more studious than his peers. Every adult has to go through a certain phase, people call it self-discovery. Psychologists prefer to call this experimenting. So long as nothing bad happens, every experiment is legal."
In a global research conducted by global surveying firm, Chris Kimpossible, it was revealed that:
1. Three out of every ten fingers sold are used for everyday sporting events amounting to plain cheering from the stands.
2. Five out of every ten fingers sold are used for biological education.
3. Nine out of every ten fingers sold are used for recording various genre of self-made videos.
4. Sales of the gigantic fingers, later trademarked as Citrus Fingers, contributed to 40% of global money earned.
5. Originally something which existed beforehand, Citrus Fingers actually managed to monopolize 90% of the sales with Miley Citrus' record label, Wrecked Balls, raking in 10% commission.
To be cont'd...
No comments:
Post a Comment