So just a brief summary here: From normal to verbally impaired; from nutty to outright phased out and from normally humane to unexpectedly inhumane.
Verbally impaired: Now I'll have to say that when I first reached the hospital come Tuesday, this is the feeling I get. I'm not going say anything out, but let's just say that Thursday where the verdict had been declared was pretty much the same in this very context. Those who know me can tell me straight in the face that I'm pretty much chatty, but there's nothing chatty from that point of time onward. In a very weird sense, I actually felt like some random bloke in a family TV drama as in... well you all get the gist. Try imagining Vettel stalling halfway on the GP racetrack. I'm not really traumatized, but that's how bad things have hit me.
Outright phased out: My sis said that I looked lost in my own world just this morning. My only reaction? Well its a no-brainer anyway. Of course there were moments where I've managed to rediscover my old touch, but definitely NOT hundred percent. Try imagining Messi hitting a barren patch for ten matches straight with only three goals scored in between. Yes, all you Bernabeu amigos might find this analogy funny, but I don't. For all the most apparent reasons.
Inhumanity most unexpected: In a very ironic way, I think this is what truly defined the ties I thought I've left behind. You see, I won't end up saying me and my grandma have gone estranged mode. But yet I'll be a straight out liar if I'm to say I always went to her house every now and then. Its a bit complicated as in back when she have yet to move house, such an occurrence wasn't that uncommon. But once she moved to the Bukit Panjang area, that's when things started to go haywire. A certain Mr Alves was supposed to score goals when he signed for Middlesbrough years back, but then again I can also say the same for myself within this very context. How should I put this... well I guess even upon the slightest change, the domino/snowballing effect shouldn't be underestimated. But I really have to thank the Above that somehow or another, this very bond actually made me performed the unimaginable. Can you try walking through the road when the blazing sun roared across the peak of noon? Can you imagine walking through the graveyard path with clumps of muddied earth strewn throughout? You say you can do it? Well, try doing it on barefoot and let's see whether you'll end up questioning "what am I doing?" For me? No. Its just doing the customary with obligations placed at the highest. My mind was effectively blank, the only sword in my hand was merely all that came back like Noah's flood. At the end of the day, I was still semi-shocked that I've managed to make it thus far in a certain sense...
Note: Ah-ma means Grandmother in the Hokkien dialect. Ah-ma kia liao means... well... "Grandmother has passed away".
Outright phased out: My sis said that I looked lost in my own world just this morning. My only reaction? Well its a no-brainer anyway. Of course there were moments where I've managed to rediscover my old touch, but definitely NOT hundred percent. Try imagining Messi hitting a barren patch for ten matches straight with only three goals scored in between. Yes, all you Bernabeu amigos might find this analogy funny, but I don't. For all the most apparent reasons.
Inhumanity most unexpected: In a very ironic way, I think this is what truly defined the ties I thought I've left behind. You see, I won't end up saying me and my grandma have gone estranged mode. But yet I'll be a straight out liar if I'm to say I always went to her house every now and then. Its a bit complicated as in back when she have yet to move house, such an occurrence wasn't that uncommon. But once she moved to the Bukit Panjang area, that's when things started to go haywire. A certain Mr Alves was supposed to score goals when he signed for Middlesbrough years back, but then again I can also say the same for myself within this very context. How should I put this... well I guess even upon the slightest change, the domino/snowballing effect shouldn't be underestimated. But I really have to thank the Above that somehow or another, this very bond actually made me performed the unimaginable. Can you try walking through the road when the blazing sun roared across the peak of noon? Can you imagine walking through the graveyard path with clumps of muddied earth strewn throughout? You say you can do it? Well, try doing it on barefoot and let's see whether you'll end up questioning "what am I doing?" For me? No. Its just doing the customary with obligations placed at the highest. My mind was effectively blank, the only sword in my hand was merely all that came back like Noah's flood. At the end of the day, I was still semi-shocked that I've managed to make it thus far in a certain sense...
But a soldier can never win the war alone: Simply put, I really have to thank my family members and those involved in the funeral wake organizing. Yes, when I say family members, we're talking about everyone under the maternal tree. (Read: My grandma was actually my mother's mom) As for those involved in the entire organizing process, allow me to thank all of you as well. Due to certain complications, I'm extremely lucky to gain their understanding in every sense of the word. If I'm merely a warrior wielding my blade, then my family members are the comrades-in-arms with those helping out being nothing less than men of steel bearing bows of yew. Together with visitors whose words and gestures akin to gifts much-needed under the wintry skies, I truly have to say "We", NOT "me" have braved through the storm far stronger. The most important person of all? Our Commander-in-Chief who goes by the identity of Ah-ma. Indeed as aptly put forth by yours truly a couple of days back, Ah-ma is indeed the Mother of all.
Note: Ah-ma means Grandmother in the Hokkien dialect. Ah-ma kia liao means... well... "Grandmother has passed away".
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