Just an excuse...

To show that humour is truly alive in SG. Or more specifically this bloke before he goes to sleep. You see, I don't mind seeing jokes being made at the expense of the royal visit recently (although we can do without vicious comments as well). In fact, the British are extremely good at laughing at themselves.
As the British anthem goes, God Save The Queen. I'm truly hoping SG'poreans won't start to sing God Please Save Humour.

As per shown above, there are all kinds of humour and I'm no stranger to all things North East. Do I sound too highbrow in my FB reply here btw? * vOv *

And to further glorify my pathetic status as a Singaporean Smoggie (abbrev. SS), let it be known that A Ranger's Tale is now upped with a new chapter. I might have made my own version of Mogga way too damned badass in a way most unconventional. Guy Cody? Well let's just say he's starting to hit GAR mode now.

How this lobo was born... (Final Fight)

Okay, so this one will be a 4 in 1 combo. Simply put, this is all about my two stints at the ITE, that part time jobber at dearest cousin Mabel's territory and that major insanity called 2 years of serving the nation in an air-con office.

Disclaimer: Despite the Northmen having far longer memories than the rest, it should be known that Westeros is fictional. But not G.R.R Martin himself though

Part timer @Cousin Mabel's mercy

Okay, that's a gross case of exaggeration anyway. I still remember serving drinks, taking orders, etc. The cafe space was quite small, but then again a lot of stuff in good ol' SG have been shrinking apart from that all too (in)famous exception. There's nothing much of a hell raiser worthy of note. But at least I remember a few blokes and gals back then.

帅哥 Jace, I know you've yet to know why I gave you this nickname. Because you look weirdly like an unnamed male model in a TNP article back then. No one should call me normal by that point of time anyway.

Wah Yin (or is it Wai Yin?)

I only remember your name, but that's only because you've never been at the receiving end where this crazy lobo is concerned.

Wan Ting

I remember that name because it's the same as another female schoolmate I've got a crush on during my secondary school days. And no, this has nothing to do with you, Dear Younger Sister Of Dearest Lord Cousin-In-Law. Wow, did I just dish out a cumbersome title? Hopefully I won't kannachi. x.x

Mike

Only one reason for me to remember you: Jay Chou fan. Or otherwise known as 周乱伦. And I mean you, not your idol. Incidentally, I'm not the one who invented this. I might be crazy, but I'm not that creative back then -.-;

The two aunties serving as the cafe cooks. Auntie Juliet and Auntie... bzt, I forgot. I'm tempted to say Auntie Nancy, but in the event of a screw up, I will surely kannachi by the real deal@DDR. By then, pah-behsi sure will become pah-horlisi. (#)

Second stint @ITE Dover. Read: Part time nearly fail

Not that kisiao like the one below. But still, there's a Kamala, Eugene and the Beng-bros. Incidentally, this Eugene here might have shocked the bigger Beng-bro at this very moment because of all the mind-raping contents in this blog. Eugene was also known as Baby back then, which led to an accidental moment of wtf. Due to rules of privacy, I'm not obliged to spill out anything. Hairul and Sofian (sp?) are the two most notable names right now. Football can do the greatest wonders. Hairul is still a Fulhammer for all I know and I believe Sofian is still a certified Gooner. I dunno about you Sofian, but I know Hairul is anti-England. Back then, I still support England. But now I can only sing this:

First ITE stint. Read: Full time epic fail

I really have to shoot myself on this particular episode. Not so much of the verbal abuse I've suffered back then, but rather the fact that once a slacker, still a slacker. I forgot the name of my teacher in charge back then, but I still have to apologize for being hauled up in the name of counseling. And thankfully, the system in the Dover campus was still in a 100% sane mode back then. Of course that didn't mean a shit when it comes to still being a slacker most likely without a gf for life. My mother at that time was being driven up the wall because of this si-geena here. And speaking of that word, I actually learnt it during this period of time. Plus a few other choice words of note. For example hor-sin (Hokkien for housefly).

Some blokes of note:

Bao Feng

Bao Feng was my default boss back then. It's just like 陈浩南与假山鸡. Any questions, go ask Bao Feng. Anything, go find Bao Feng. Nothing to do, go disturb Bao Feng. Now that I think back on it, I can afford to laugh at myself because if you can deprecate yourself, it's not because you're crazy. It's because you've matured unto an extent where only the truly mature can understand why. Interestingly enough, every certified Boro-thers is well known for such a self-lolz. Singapore don't do steel works across the state, but I've already seen myself as a SG smoggie. At least it's far better than supporting my national football team. Yes, me traitor, me a realist.

Dennis the Hacker

I still don't get it where he got the nickname. If he's truly capable of pulling off his namesake, either SPF would have remanded him in the name of national interests or him being instilled as the COA. Not Chief Of Army but Chief of Anonymous. He's pretty whacky if I remember correctly. Or maybe not that much. Depending on how you'll view a person asking for a werewolf like role in a story you've just started out with. And let's just face it guys, that said attempt at writing was my first. Fanfiction no less. Samurai Shodown some more. Alternatively known as Samurai Spirits（侍魂）in Japan and a shitty excuse to call myself a writer back then no less.

Jeffrey, that Man of Steel

I only remember all the random talk about another bloke being the actual Man of Steel. And did we mention a certain lady classmate? No matter what, everything is a matter of past now.

Marc

You truly did say something about PC virus and Kazaa P2P itself. And yeah, plus that necessary evil called reformatting. :D And did we mention a certain lady classmate?

Bryan and Benjamin

I only remember something along that line of this:

The Craziest Gang Class 2003-2005

Overgeneralizing of course. Not everyone in 32 SIB is a certified loonjob. But there quite a good few nutty ones out there.

AS1 Lester Koh

You ask me which drink I buy, I answer "rootbeer". Your reply in return? "Hmm, that's a good choice..." O.O

S3 Major Tan

Perfectly okay. A good and nice guy. Still remember that trip to your home, dearest Sir. And your most famous catchphrase as well:

Can, can, can! No issue, no issue!

Can, can ,can! Kill the issue, kill the issue!

Tee "Not Matthew Bates" Wei Jie

Injury record really jialat. Shit happens, bro. You know that with no sarcasm attached. Also, why you always ask me this question for no reason?

你问：

“好吃吗？”

本人应该做的回应：

“你说呢？试吃看就知道了嘛！问我这等屁问题干啥？”

注：只可惜当时本人脑袋未到达全方位发育

John "Arm of Kraken" Mo and Joshua. Plus Eric as well

Joshua's gotta be one of the most normal fellas I've ever seen in my workplace. And that's a compliment. John is a close second. But I still remember you pulling off that "elastic arm" stunt. Like some kind of sotong tentacle. And who was the one who said my position on the couch like a fetus? Of course back then, I was lucky not to kenna extra as a result. -.-'

Eric, I only remember you being crazier than Ah-Mo and Josh added together. Which is not saying much considering the rest...

AS1 Tan

Only this:

Mirza

Let's forget about the fact that there's a Sania Mirza and I'm not talking about her here. Let's just say that you're the top draw clerk in the office. In footballing talk, you're the Man of the Match. Not only that, you're extremely good in doing that little jig. And thanks to you, I've gained the knowledge on why Malays tend to have a big family and why Malay mothers tend to be plump. Carling, you should be ashamed of yourself here. I'm not gonna out why.

Interestingly enough, have you done this before?

In a duck suit no less.

Seah "Snake" Wei Jie

Back then, I have trouble socializing. You called me Smeagol, Fair enough. I've learnt to live by laughing at myself. Can you? I only remember you saying:

Can, can, can! No issue, no issue!

Can, can ,can! Kill the issue, kill the issue! 

Wah piang eh! 此乃欺君犯上之罪耶！在古时代可会没命的。人家荀彧还不是因为这样而枉死于寿春。 >.<

Which comes now to...

Uncle Neo

Snake says: Ok, ok! Close shop, close shop!

You: WHAT? *BEEP*?!

Result - Longzong chio kaliao (me included ofc!)

Encik Lim Tiong Kheng

Apparently, failure in proper expression had some really dire consequences. Don't believe me, ask Encik Lim (Disclaimer: There's nothing wrong with Encik Lim saying "Nano, nano" because I'm talking about the other fella here *cough, cough*).

Also...

Me: Warrant Officer Lim Tiong Kheng

Snake: Oh! You die! You ask Encik Lim to tongkheng!

Moral of the story - Some people have more free time than the others.

Choon Kiat

Victim of my name calling stunt.

Tan Siew Jing

Second and final causality within context here. That plus a certified Hebe fan as well. I think he must be crying his heart out by now. On a totally unrelated incident...

你：当我的朋友知道 Christina Aguilera 变 slut 的时候，他（她）哭了一整天。。。

Moral of the story - The entertainment industry is indeed vicious. This is not a joke from yours truly here.

Also you're the one to make me realize George Lucas might be better off in not making the prelude trilogy. No beef against Obi-Wan and Liam Neeson. But seriously Anakin is the Anal-king in Revenge of the Sith.

Robbie and Nazreen

I tag you two together not because you're brothers in blood, but rather the two of you have a history of teaching me how to swear in Bahasa Melayu unwittingly. Okay, it's actually Nazreen. Putting Robbie in was only down to me not knowing what to write apart from the name being associated with Robbie Keane and Robbie Williams. And now Robbie Manc as well?

Staff Khalid and that Indian DOS with moustache (Note: Not from 32 SIB)

Further lessons on brusque usage of Melayu. End of story. You two will be fast friends with Mat Ibrahim. I always ask him that (in)famous question. You both can help me out on this front. :P

Encik Teo

I still remember that word made famous by you. Sadly, it's of a NSFW nature. Of course for all we know...

Some things will never change...

Encik Sankar

Still remember being your signature runner. Plus your standard SOP: "No pork, no lard". Did you tell me something about me playing football btw? I still can't do a dime on the pitch, but at least I can do this...

~Tanks~

Steve "Steve Menace" Ang Eng Hock

I know you're feeling like shit right now. But allow me to console your broken heart by saying Utd rode their luck. Shelvey was booked for a 50-50 challenge while that retarded combo call on Valencia being fouled and Suarez's legit call for penalty has gotta be the greatest comedy in recent Merseyside history. That is apart from the numerous times Everton were deprived of justice equivalent. If even that Lord of the Trolls can give his backing for your Northern Irish pride, it's good enough news. No j/k.

P.S: I still remember you asking me why I buy all the ulu ulu games for my PS2 last time round. Apparently, you know nothing on gaming itself.

Final P.S: You once said I wouldn't go anywhere in terms of socializing with girls so long as I don't change my obsession with anime/manga. Apparently, some things never change. Maybe a bit more (d)evolved.

Of course you'll never expect this

And this...

Nothing between me and that Swedish redhead, so rest easy there, Steve. :D

Lim Chong Hui and Ah-Leo

Still remember kenna mara due to my clumsiness. If Ah-Leo was that firm guy, then you, my dearest Lim Chong Hui would be the big tiger. But seriously, you might end up regretting your words. i.e. my other name should be Roger (弱智). 

Proof of my words.

Carl "Carling" Jan De Vries

I don't need to get started on the thought processing here, because you're way too crazy to forget. So allow me to reveal one tiny tibit of info back then@Changi during our unit outing there:

Still remember that perverted solo pose? I'd like to describe it, but that might be NSFW due to the comedy factor. You're fortunate that no one snapped a photo of that. It would have fetched a major fortune of a billion WTFs.

Chief Khairul

You're the one who started that Robocop joke. Or rather Robokuok. By utilizing my status as a BoA fanboy back then as the whole "BoA=my assistant" ammo, I've actually discovered that some compliments should never meant to be. 

Chief, wa boh zhimi homiah one lah!

Ms Sandya

I only remember Golden Balls. And that's not because you're David Beckham due to a reason most glaring. My lady boss might have pulled off a big one here.

Mdm Khor

Yep, that biggest lady boss around. But still not that one lady boss hovering above me last time round.

Ms Pathi

You once said you'll be waiting for me to release my own novel(s) because of this. I thought to myself whether it's truly possible. Seven years forward and I might have warped myself.

Ms Komala

Finally the last one standing. My de-facto lady boss. I still remember you praising my character. Sadly, things DO change. You know one thing, lady boss?

Look, man. People change. I've changed. You've changed. That's the way it is.

Lady Boss will be shocked at my warped taste now...

Post (not so) spamming

Suddenly feel like doing something on tactical talk. But firstly, let's do some take on our most recent victory over Blackburn Rovers.
@Mr Chen Kangbo: Maybe it's not so much of a bad thing for me to go MIA for your big day due to work commitments. I would have mocked you just because you did the same to me before on all things Middlesbrough and that you're a certified Blackburn fan. Yes, we all were pretty immature back then, so let's kill off the hatchet here and right now, shall we? ;)

Knights of Roses 1

Lions of Crimson 2

Post-war verdict:

The Lions deserved the win. And the Knights were lucky that they didn't get mauled badly.

A lot had been said about Lions XI rather than Lions XII. I still see my national footballing scene with a well-earned cynicism on levels most unacceptable. To me, there can be only one team of Lions in Red. To me, there can be only one Lions XII. It's Middlesbrough F.C and boy am I chuffed to bits over that win at Fort Edwood.

Firstly, adopting a 4-4-2 approach might seem naive at first glance. Yet, due to that one man called Kevin Thomson, it will be a far cry to call this a flat layered 4. More likely to be a middle 4 diamond with Tommo at the deep lying position while Leadbitter will be biting the lead just in front. On the flanks, Mogga opted for a very interesting choice. Carayol should be a no brainer because he can cover a lot of ground within a short notice. Simply put, he's the perfect player for such a formation where alternating between burning the touchline and conducting inland raids from the side borders. Lil'Josh? I suspect this is where Carayol's license to torch the outposts truly came in. Lad isn't your standard wing player. But can he cut inside? Let's just say that he's a drifter. That on paper, he's starting on the right (or is it left? I know Muzzy can torch the borders on both sides),yet, he's our Fujiwara Takumi. Period. Of course credit to Hoyte if my guess is spot on. Simply put, he had to put up an extra shift as the rightback (assuming Takumi McEachran is playing on the right. If it's the left, then we will just envision George Friend instead although that will mean we might be playing a lopsided flanking game by then). Simply put:

Thomson

    Carayol                                          McEachran

Leadbitter

This is the default formation.

The one below will be what you might be seeing back then.

Thomson

Leadbitter

Carayol                                 Hoyte

McEachran

This is the kind of formation where Thomson the archer didn't have to do much with Leadbitter playing the zonal destroyer decked in heavy armour. Carayol and Hoyte would be riding at the touchlines like two battalions of Reivers with McEachran being your quintessential Ranger unit. In this context, McEachran would be the roaming party doing the link up. Just like how skirmishing units are there to provide the cover and platform for the offensive tactics. With such an approach, that would mean Muzzy and Hoytie wnon't be switching flanks because they DON'T have to. Remember the Ranger unit? That's the key. License to roam=drifting around Mt Akina itself.

That big Pole and little Holland.

They're truly vital as in Jukstower will be holding up the ball so that Ranger unit can have a better go in relishing that free man behind. We need an intelligent player for that and how he scored the first was proof of what's going on here. Of course that would also mean Mini Marvel will be wrecking havoc up front with Ranger Takumi just lurking behind as the offensive link up. All the while with Tommo perched on high ground firing his Taulmaril. Leadbitter? Yep, he should still be riding around like Sir Galahad on crack.

We should have won by more

Kean was really lucky that this was a 2 strikes to 1. It could have been worse. Refusal to field Pedersen might be screw up in decsion. Against a team which can hurt your ass upon merit of fortify-and-raiding, this fellow is extremely important to hit us against the run of play. yes, his legs might have left him at times, but why not put him at the central role? Something like a box to box? Pedersen's strength lies in dead ball situations and the most dangerous open play rocket. He's Kean's chief mage ffs! If you don't have someone to cast that fireblast, you're asking for trouble against an army hell bent in fighting like the Wood Elves in their merry forest home of Athel Loren. Yes, we're fighting like the Asrai and Forest Spirits. Is it any wonder the Wood Elves is my all time favourite faction in the Warhammer Fantasy world? We can play fast raiding with our own Glade Riders. We have our own means to deploy these mofos called the Wild Riders of Kurnous. Tommo was our very own Scarloc in that battle while Takumi McEachran is no different from that crazy unit called the Wardancers.

Grant Hanley's goal threw Mogga's plans into disarray. Let's not take anything from this fact: By subbing in Zemmama in place of Carayol one minute before, the intent was clear. To sustain the pressure up front where a Moroccan spellsinger armed with a ball would be more than a legit cause for alarm. Carayol must have done a lot of running here by now. And it's necessary as well because we need to run these Bretonnians damned dead ragged. 

In this instance, we really have to thank the backline here. Be it the Treemen, Treekin or Eternal Guards ready to give no quarters, everyone put in their rightful shift. Woodgate was our Asrai Highborne in that most vital moment. Or maybe I should tag him with Orion, King in the Wood with the rest being his elite crack units of Wild Riders themselves. And Bikey is my Durthu. Fullstop.

A good sign then?

Mogga had to oversee 10 guys cutting themselves adrift with 12 new units coming in. This isn't RTS maths, guys. Mogga is dealing with real human beings. One season to shape a squad still in transition and the job is still far from done. Our back 4 is now stable. What truly needs to be tweaked is the middle and the front. 

The other teams are far luckier. Mad Ian has truly honed the his team into a troupe of Bladesingers while Huddersfield have Simon Grayson to look up to. Cardiff screwed up mightily yesterday, but Palace is now looking strong under Dougie Freedman. Burnley will pose a real danger on their day and we've yet to know anything vital on Charlton Athletic. Brighton and Leeds will surely be frontrunners for promotion while let's not forget Owen Coyle despite whatever the press had hurled at him. At least I think he's still sticking around with David Wheater. And lastly, but not least, Barnsley might be the real surprise package this season after their 5-0 hammering of Birmingham albeit the Brummie Blues don't look so impressive to me so far. Throwing away a vital lead and forced unto a 2-2 draw against Forest is no excuse for any bullshit. Chris Hughton moving onto Norwich has truly hurt the team in blue.

P.S: Craig Davies may be that man to watch this season in Barnsley colours.

If you feel like it...
http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Wood_Elves

http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Category:Wood_Elves 

Some things to think about tonight's matches...

Liverpool vs Utd

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/1168436/steven-gerrard-urges-luis-suarez-to-shake-patrice-evra%27s-hand?cc=4716

Kudos to Vidic and Stevie for the planned gesture. Allow me to laud Sir Alex Ferguson for his plea to the traveling fans. Now the key lies in this: Suarez MUST shake hands with Evra. If the other fella wants to be jerk, that's his problem. If he lost whatever respect he had always demanded otherwise as the result, let him whine. For you, my dearest amigo, you're being saddled with the fate of Hillsborough upon your magic shoulders. Do your part and you have nothing to fear. So what if Evra decided to play in an Anton Ferdinand? Would he dare to do so right at the start? Rio won't let him off if so. Even if he has to scream hell and high murder after a half speeding Evra with a half recovered back, you can be very sure there won't be nothing racial this time round apparently of course. You know us the Chinese have a very famous saying?

平日不做亏心事，哪怕鬼敲门

I won't translate this literally. Let's just be known that:

"Cometh the hour, cometh the judgment. Sin not and thou hast nary a fear."

Slackers vs Gooners

Let's not kid ourselves. Drawing against Stoke means nothing, be it post match or now. Tony Pulis should be the more aggrieved party right now because of those two wayangs in blue. Thankfully, the blokes in blue are ruled by Russian oil, not Arab oil. To me, a lot actually hinged on whether Mancini critcising Hart is warranted or not.

Firstly, it's wrong for Hart to open his trap. Whatever should be said on performances should stay in the dressing room and with the team as the whole. Yet, Mancini committed that ritual PR suicide when he lambasted that kid in public. Tit for tat? Or is it how the tabloids work? Maybe if Robbie Manc had never open his trap, things wouldn't have exploded. Maybe if Open Joe had never opened his heart, the press wouldn't have that much money waiting to be earned from the consumer pockets.

Secondly, Robbie Manc has to do something to fix this mess. Not to say "I'm right and you're wrong because I'm the government here". Rather, he had to asses the situation. Is Hart suffering from a heartache right now? Or is it a fact that he had laughed off the episode? No matter what, Robbie Manc should just clear the air with Hart. And in open no less. On one hand, he won't have the balls of cold blue steel to go overboard since he's not the Prime Minister in charge. On the other, that will mean everyone is a happy family member and nobody will try to play up the opposition card because I don't remember Mr Low Thia Khiang saying he wanted to do this to Signor Manc himself:

Key trollolols of note:

El Jinete

Firstly, there's nothing funny about Silva trolling opponents on the pitch. A lot was said about Iniesta come Euro 2012, but that will only mean Silva was the unsung hero. Let's just face it, guys. He's technically top notch. Stupid Geordies call Hatem Ben Arfa one of the best players in the league and while I'll have to say he's technically damned good, Ben Arfa is still nothing compared to Silva. Here we have someone capable of starting week in week out and churning performances week in week out. Newcastle is still unplayable to some extent upon Ben Arfa being shackled/crocked. [1] Doing the same for Silva means City will be ****ed and carpet bombed. [2] This fella is extremely intelligent. He can easily switch flanks as a winger/wing forward while he's a constant threat once utilized as the secondary spearhead. He's ridiculously versatile and chances are that Robbie Manc will use him akin to how George Best used to seize the game by the bollocks.

Le Chevalier

So apparently, people are still in a disbelief over why Giroud could miss sitters that even Alfonso Alves would have converted. Of course this is just an analogy to show how anal the couch critics have gotten. For starters, Alves couldn't even ****ing score from six yards out despite his stated pedigree, hence any attempt to compare him with Giroud is just like condemning a promising knight in blue armour just because he acted like that other crap knight in red twice the age. Nerves is a natural given in the English footballing scene where frantic pacing will ensure a steeper learning curve compared to the far cooler on-the-field climate elsewhere.

On a tactical scale, a non-scoring Giroud might be far more dangerous than otherwise assumed. This is because firstly, his build and technique with the ball will ensure stupid words coming from stupid people. Simply put, the goals will come, be it sooner or later. What Monsieur Wenger has signed in this gamin is someone who can free up his fellow goons to make far greater goons out of the rest. The Way of Le Professor is this: la clé de l'avenir. In French [3], this means the "the way forward". Or rather, the only way to play football is going forward and not backwards. This is not Football English Style. This is Football Wenger Style. With the ball, Giroud can do what I've stated here. Without the ball, he can use that 1.92 frame to create a diversion. A decoy run if you like. Try imagining a 1.92 bloke running around you where in fact his brave petit bonhomme are running around playing pinball on the pitch. It's distracting and you can't guarantee that he won't make an intelligent run right into a correct position when your guys are under pressure. In fact, that's how Jukstower scored that first goal in courtesy of Mini Marvel himself.

[1]: Cabaye taken out of the picture on the other hand though...
[2]: Or at least half the battle won.
[3]: I don't claim any credit for this term. I got it from an online English-French dictionary. -.-'

Letter to an anguished Liverpudlian

Plus some much needed (?) advice to a certain Mr Steve "Team Steve Menace" Ang Eng Hock

Better known as Stevie (Ang) or that most famous AS1 in the entire history of 32 SIB. Just to quote his words back then during my NSF days as a PES E jiapalang clerk:

"Last week, Boro lost. I very happy. WHOOOSSHH!!!"

(Plus a physical gesture of joy for reasons I'm not about to out)

LCP MH Kuok's dearest letter to 1st LT Ang:

Dear Stevie, I know I don't have to call you Sir because 32 SIB days are certified history. Although I know you still have reservist. The contents of my letter is this: Please give Brendan Rodgers a few years time in proving himself. This is in the event where you believe he should be sacked.

Firstly, let's dissect the cause of Liverpool's current fortunes. We all know about the previous regime of Tom Hicks and George Gillet Jr. It's proven disaster. But so was Rafa's transfer policies. The only successful examples so far would be: Xabi Alonso (moved on to Los Blancos), Fernando Torres (signed away by a team in blue) and Dirk Kuyt (Lots of grit, but not a proven match winner). Steve Gibson once goaded a stupid response from this fella when he commented that England didn't have anything going for them in terms of youth football. No one told Rafa to open his golden trap. And flies flew out as a result when he invoked Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher. Simply put, did I see more than one Steven Gerrard or Jamie Carragher? Stevie G is still a class player. Carragher, in my most honest opinion was only class upon merit of mobility. Fullstop. Let's not humiliate the red end of Merseyside any longer.

Kenny "King Kenny" Dalglish could have been so much better. I had hoped for the best back then despite my neutral loyalties. Yet, something went wrong somewhere. Was it down to the repercussion of the previous regime? Rafa did well upon giving Man Utd an almighty scare during his penultimate season. Final season was a certified failure on every count. I truly pity King Kenny. I know what he's capable of as per proven in his up-yours season against Sir Fergie during the 94-95 season with Blackburn Rovers. A certain Mr Tobias Fong can testify to my feelings on that most famous season in the history of the Premier League. Period. I suspect it's down to spending too much on players proven in their own clubs, but not within one with such a stature like this current club.

Stewart Downing was a potent winger with Ashley Young back during the Villa days. That was back when Martin O'Neill wasn't forced out of the club because Randy Lerner lacked a certain sense of ambition.

Jordan Henderson was a promising lad and I believe he still is. You don't get to see a player shining at his age. Even if it's in the Mackem colours under Steve "that closet Geordie" Bruce. Sadly in a warped twist of fate, Martin O'Neill moved into the Stadium of Light (now currently known as the Stadium of Shit Football) and he was shipped out to your end.

Andy Carroll was a proven goal scorer. So imagined my horror when a somebody hailing from the good ol' Tyneside ended up lambasting this poor lad last season. Apparently, he forgot to switch off the mic. Just like how Luis Aragones was castigated by the foreign press back then. Just to set the record straight, Aragones proved himself at the end of the day. Chris Hughton got sacked before he could reverse that mini-blip back then.

Hence we now come to Brendan Rodgers himself. Let's not kid ourselves. John W.Henry could have signed a higher profile manager if he wanted to. But all's in the past now. Firstly, let me just say that the Rodgers brand of football is totally different from what you're used to seeing in Dalglish's reign. His team was famous for passing the ball around. Attractive football. The exact kind of stuff Roman "big oil" Abramovich truly desires even unto now. The rich blokes over at the other big blue team are playing this kind of football under Roberto Mancini and people are setting up altars decked in blue jerseys even before the season ends. I know an altar decked in the correct red is pleasing to your eyes. Yet do not let the tabloids make a fool out of your eyes. Prince William isn't too amused with recent events of late. Moral of the story: Tabloids only care about sensationalising stuff.

Give him 3-4 years to shape a team truly able to win games his way. The attractive free flowing way. His team is still King Kenny's team: Team Shit Football. No different from what you'll keep on seeing at the good old Stadium of Shit Football. Ironic somewhat? Yeah, I know that.

Players of note:

Fabio Borini needs time to adapt. He's not your flat 4-4-2 striker. Remember it took Thierry Henry half a season to adapt to English football. The press hounds were barking and baying for his blood back then. So much for Monsieur Wenger as Le Professor as a show of respect here. Mr Carl "Carling" Jan D'Vries should know this better than me.

Joe Allen is a 50-50 gamble. Given Rodgers' penchant for youthful players under the correct circumstances, let's wait and see first. If Jordan Henderson should seen as shit just because he's yet to make the cut, then no reason for Joe Allen to be spared from all those sharpened knives flying from the press box.
Raheem Sterling. Now this is one lad truly worthy of note. You will do well not to see him go. Pace, mobility and technique. Kid has it all. I rate him way better than the likes of Walcott and on the par with Ox-Chamberlain. Or rather Sterling doesn't have an Ox's strength, yet having the grace of a feline ready to kill on sight.

Ending statement:

Now I'll like to say more about why Rodgers failed to sign a replacement for Carroll despite that Yankee switch being a last minute heel turn. Yet, I need to write something far more constructive now. Yes, this is (ex)LCP Kuok Minghui signing off here.

P.S: I truly believe the Utd fans will behave themselves for tonight's match. You see, the Mackems never bathed that much. Once per year to be exact. If they can give the rightful respect due in the last match, then any Utd fans doing the exact opposite must have been living in a monkey cage right from birth without knowing how to bath.

So should Mogga be sacked?

Let's just face it guys. The failure at Blackpool's stomping ground shouldn't be laughed at. Firstly, we could have gotten something post Bikey's goal. We failed to. We deserved to lose the match. Maybe not so much based on performance but rather something so much painful.

We just don't have the kind of quality to go toe to toe!

Blackpool is a team scoring for shit and giggles. In order to stem the threat, there's nothing wrong with Mogga's strategy. What went wrong was the fact that we only have one ball winning player in the form of Grant Leadbitter. One lead biter is NOT enough to face this kind of threat. Nicky Bailey's absence was sorely felt here in this major fail. Mogga might not have mentioned it, but I know better. So long as the Tangerines have the ball, they're ****ing unplayable in their division. Forerunners to win the Championship this year? Oh hell no, my friends! Mad Ian should be hollering along the sidelines AT the highest level. The Premier League IS where the Tangerines should belong ****ing dammit!

So Mogga should be sacked then?

I don't know about the rest, but I don't worship internet forums and I for one sure won't even sacrifice a bloody half dead chicken for the pundits on TV. Let's just see things in perspective here. Firstly, if Steve Gibson is to sack Mogga, who else would take the job? We're nearly there last season. To sack Mogga under such a situation is a ****ing idiocy shown through and through. Gibson should be held accountable for that one thing called a stupid mistake. In fact, would any capable manager, uncut gem or otherwise join us under such a situation? Juninho joined us when we're still in the Premiership despite Bryan Robson being no Robocop. So will there be anyone with a decent ambition be that daring? At least teams like Leeds who are still in the division are showing signs of recovery after N ages of relegation from the top flight all the while. And let alone, this one.

Gordon Strachan could have been our Messiah in red. The only problem lies in his wrong decisions made. The nature of his spending hurt the wage system far more than on-the-pitch. And what destabilize such a structure will translate onto the field and dressing room. Kris Boyd was a good striker. It's only down to his ridiculous wages that caused this to be the greatest WTF shit deal ever in our history given the context of circumstances. Andrew Taylor left because of him, Joe Bennett got frozen out because of him and Marvin "still marvelous" Emnes nearly left because of him. He's not a poor manager to be fair. Quite the opposite in fact. It's just as what he had admitted here.

Halfway through, Mogga inherited a team nobody gave a single two shit's chance to survive. We mocked at Carl Jan De Vries. Next season, people said we would only hit mid table at best. 7th spot and Carling still got mocked. This season? It has yet to end, my dear Boro-thers in Red and all you mockers. In fact, Blackpool should be a reality check, not Armageddon itself. We ****ing survived 1986. That's a miracle. Try telling teams like Man Utd, Arsenal or Liverpool that and they will just say "big deal!". Yes, they're right in a way. Because a 1986 to them is nothing less than this.

In the spirit of 1986 we trust...

How this lobo was born... Gan Eng Seng School (1995-1999)

Note: Real names will be used due to the nature of this post. Whether I can remember all accurately 100% depends on whoever addressed.

Amazingly, this slacker managed to enter the express stream via 222 aggregate score. Of course this meant that my shot at the first choice school, i.e. Fairfield Methodist Secondary School was accounted as a quite-gone-case.

So let's get the lowlives and dirty out of the way first

Apparently, kids will always be kids. A lot had been said on the bullying cycle where the victims will become bullies themselves; rinse and repeat. I don't know about the rest, but for me, being a victim would mean that I was extremely lucky not to become that demon I truly hated the most. At least there's such a lesson called I don't give a flying damn to the rest out to define my own life. So here's a list of whatever I remembered. Note that it's stuff rolling off from my own memory:

1. Getting stepped on my hands, yep.

2. Having songs and stupid names made up about me just because no one had anything constructive to do, check.

3. Getting my chair kicked at the back while I was seated and sleeping... well, no one asked that random sod behind me to understand the meaning of vigilantism.

4. Getting character assassinated, now that depends on how one will factor in the magic words "personal flaws".

5. Someone must have played too much shooting games just because paper bullets shot from elastic bands came flying in my way.

6. Having the vast majority of my class raising their hands when my Sec 2 form teacher Ms Ho asked "who dislike Minghui" in a bid to diffuse a potential war? Hey, bigotry feeds on dumb conformity, get it?

Jon Snow is fictional. Putting two and two together and getting a five is not.

There's something about multiple crushes and it's multiple epic fail

I still remember my 5 years of lost and more lost when it comes to having crushes. I truly doubt it just merely 2 or 3 girls truly unlucky enough. In fact, I even got a crush on a cute Sec 2 chick working at the bubble tea shop@Tiong Bahru Plaza during my Sec 3 years. Just don't bother trying to look for it. The stall is no longer around anyway.

Fail 1:

I think that's my most memorable moment b/c of that stupid joke pulled off by a certain Mr Jian Liang. No thanks to that stupid joke, I finally upped this one. And yes, the crush was still in force by then coupled with a disastrous case of mistaken identity beforehand.

Fail 2:

There was a girl who was really famous back then. One year younger than me. Rumoured to be the dream girl of the male population together with the one I'll elaborate soon enough. I tried to be clever and sneak random glances whenever I bypassed the classroom. No one told me that she had noticed it and made her displeasure known. End of story.

Fail 3:

If a certain Wallace Wee still remembered this, it will be a miracle I guess. Year 1998 or 1999, I forgot which one. Back then, I buanged my first year of Sec 3 during the latter half due to medical grounds. When I returned, it's 1998. But no matter what, that girl was 2 years younger than me and the same old disaster still happened. Not so much that she truly noticed, but rather Wallace and his merry fellows from the proverbial Sherwood Forest barracked me. Sort of I guess since we're not talking about ten fellas beating up one porr nerd. That would have alerted the disciplinary board and a mass rotan session in public. Could it be just friendly ribbing? I guess so to be fair.

During my full time ITE years, Tan Mao Qing actually said something about her coming from a rich family. By then, I've moved on. 

No problems, no scars. Apart from having one more girl mara me under a somewhat similiar situation as in Fail 2.

Those fellas in black

If you know about the Night's Watch, fine enough. If not, then it's okay. I still remember my NPCC days. It's something really crazy as in I can still remember stupid shit pulled off for fun.

There's a certain Mr Albert aka Ah-ba (Hokkien for duck meat due to pronunciation). He was the one who initiated the whole pull-down-that-bugger's-shorts prank. Just don't ask me how many fellas kenna dio though.

Then there's Mr Tay Teck Yong. The craziest shit I've seen from him is... well using the term "moron" 7 out of 10 times duing our bus trips back to school on every NPCC Day rehearsal. But I'm not that fella on the receiving end though.

Lim Wing Cheong is known to be a singer. Non-pro that is.

Mr Gavin would open his house occasionally so that we all can go havoc-mode in all things video games. And yeah, Gavin, let this be known that Guy is far more badass than Ryu. Fullstop.

A few NCOs of note as well:

1st year: Shui Long and Wei Qing. You two were the first to teach us what's the meaning of talking cock. Or that last word in general anyway.

2nd year: Ragu and Chee Wee. The former had sung this before, the latter will only say "I'm feeling really psycho today. I want to psycho somebody".

3rd year: Long An. Because your best bud Aaron once associate you with a certain something.

Special mention: Tan Mao Qing and Bai Yi Qiang. Bai Yi Qiang, I still remember what you did with the lighter. Not my pasal anyway though. Tan Mao Qing, I know you kenna mentioned already. But still I'll have to highlight the question on why you can keep smiling with your fingers pointing upwards last time round when we're punished to run to the school gates and back. Or at least that's how NCO Desmond described the scene.

The only song I remembered:

夕阳西下

Bangali ta kala chia

mata 出

Bomb mata

九泉之下, lia kazua!

Sec *insert number 1-4*, tia wa pang pui sia!

POOOOOT!!!!!

A bit on football

Any wonder on how I got to know football watching? In my first year, there's the famous Blackburn-Man Utd rivalry aka that 1 year wonder. Blackburn won and I was accused of being a fair weathered fan between the two. One year later, I decided to go random and supported Middlesbrough. And I got cruelly mocked whenever they got relegated. Yep, that's political correctness for you. That plus I suck in the sport itself, hence I became that human football whenever we started to play the game. 军师有吗？

Playing chess ala Three Kingdoms RPG mode

It's just melding the Romance of the Three Kingdoms novel with Chinese chess itself. Something like you've got a fixed amount of resources and your challenger will declare which resources will be at stake. Funnily enough, I remember such a challenge in this very context: 我要你的女人！

My thoughts right now?

还好我们没有那种衰运遇上王异。否则铁定会被踩死的。

Notable fellas: Me, Hong Bin, Zhu Tian Yun, Sim Fook Ming... the rest I forgot for now. -.-'

Note: Back then, we only knew about the novels, we only knew shit about the actual history.

In case I forget: Sim Fook Ming, do you still remember a certain Ma Wen Yi? Now that I've reached unto this point, I suddenly remember the whole man-vs-woman duels 24/7 back then. :P

Forgot to mention this guy

Was it Sri Hariharan? Or maybe I should just call him Hari. Still remember his prowess on the football pitch:

It's all about Usain Bolt, not the girls.

Your most famous verbal exchange with Li Ming Zhou had something to do with this:

And lastly a few words for my teachers. Not that I can remember all at one shot though

Mrs Ko: Sorry for creating so many troubles for you. I know I'm no bad boy, but still once a slacker, still a slacker.

Ms Ho: Will remember that house trip our class made to your home. I think like two times within two years.

Mr Lee: Hope you're still well. You're rather old for a teacher back then. If you can check through my links section, you'll be shocked. 不是每个人都会无聊到阅读三国志与孙子兵法的哟！

Mr Wong: I still dunno whether you knew students were calling you ba-zang back then.

Mrs Ling and Mrs Ching: I really have to apologize for all those horrendous noise made at your expenses. Albeit everything was a collective effort rather than one proverbial Osama bin Laden.

Mrs Yoga: I still remember you because history happened to be my best subject back then. Until that thrice damned upper sec streaming that is.

Mr Leow: This

Mrs Tay i.e. formerly known as Ms Pang: You once said something about making my dreams come true. Back then, I didn't know where my talent lies. Now I do.

17 years worth of Darwinism?

Okay, I've yet to touch Mirai Nikki. Don't believe me, I can sumpah.