My GCE A Level:
How I buggered an family of sods
~鬼谋制敌变，神算定河北~
[从破袁绍，绍死，又从讨谭、尚于黎阳，连战数克。诸将欲乘胜遂攻之，嘉曰：“袁绍爱此二子，莫适立也。有郭图、逢纪为之谋臣，必交斗其间，还相离也。急之则相持，缓之而后争心生。不如南向荆州若征刘表者，以待其变；变成而后击之，可一举定也。”
太祖曰：“善。”
乃南征。军至西平，谭、尚果争冀州。谭为尚军所败，走保平原，遣辛毗乞降。太祖还救之，遂从定邺。又从攻谭于南皮，冀州平。封嘉洧阳亭侯。
傅子曰：河北既平，太祖多辟召青、冀、幽、并知名之士，渐臣使之，以为省事掾属。皆嘉之谋也。]
Trans:
[Upon Shao's death shortly after his defeat, (Yuan) Tan and (Yuan) Shang were engaged in battle at Liyang and victory was gained battle after battle. All the generals intended to build onto the momentum in pursuit, yet Jia said: "Yuan Shao doted on these two sons of his, hence unable to decide who should be his heir. With Guo Tu and Pang Ji as advisers, infighting will soon follow. If we're to attack now, they will unite themselves as one. If we're to delay our movement, they will soon harbour intentions of turning against each other. Why not we send our forces down south to the Jing Province in preparation for an invasion in order to await that moment of vital change? Should things go this way, we can declare an attack and defeat the enemy in a single go."
Taizu answered: "Good." Hence mobilising his forces down south.
Upon Taizu's army reaching Xiping, Tan and Shang indeed ended up fighting against each other over the Ji Province. Tan was defeated by Shang's army and forced to flee unto Pingyuan with Xin Pi being sent to negotiate for a surrender. Taizu went back to rescue Tan and conquered Ye. Soon after, he attacked Tan at Nanpi, hence annexing the Ji Province. Jia was honoured as the Pavilion Marquis of Weiyang.
Fuzi: Upon conquering Hebei, Taizu managed to gain many renowned talents from the provinces of Qing, Ji, You, and Bing to assist him with local affairs. This was made possible only by Jia's strategy.]
Analysis: Apparently, we the Chinese (and that including us the Singaporean Chinese mind you) have this famous saying: 什么鸟生什么样的蛋 (Whatever the type of bird will surely lay the same type of eggs).
Simply put, if your daddy is so ****ing useless unto the extent that your most able people in the form of Tian Feng (田丰) and Ju Shou (沮授) got mistreated, then it's only natural that the Best Karma Award should go to people like that. (i.e. 生孩子没屁眼). Hell, even Liu Shan (刘禅) wasn't that inept unlike what we'd like to believe in (although despite his proven aptitude, he can't really perform without Zhuge Liang [诸葛亮]).
As for Cao Cao, he had a capable son called Cao Pi (曹丕) while his grandson Cao Rui (曹叡) was yet another proven act in terms of positive dynamics in genetics. And let's not go on about why Sun Jian's kids were all so garang (and that's given Sun Ce's only [fatal] problem was an absurd case of arrogance).
So now let's talk about that one merry thing called family politics. Without Tian Feng and Ju Shou (both were certified executed by then), the entire dynasty collapsed. Yuan Shao's indecisiveness had proved way more harmful than otherwise expected. It's one thing to shaft yourself while alive and quite another thing direr to shaft your kids posthumous.
Now there's a very good reason why Guo Jia said everybody should just close shop first. The impact of Cao Cao's victory at Guandu was still freshly imprinted in those two or just about everyone still remaining under the Yuans' banner. Therefore any attempt in pursuit would unite the feuding bros temporarily, resulting in stiff resistance and unwanted trouble. Yet upon being left alone with their own devices, a spectacular show of implosive fireworks would be at hand. Simply put, you can't expect stupid kids to be capable of anything intelligent.
So now that Yuan Tan tried gunning for a parley, should Cao Cao foot his enemy's bill? Now despite Yuan Tan's ineptitude, he still carried a certain repute amongst the Hebei faithful. Simply put, if the two were to forge an ad hoc alliance, it would actually be easier than otherwise assumed to defeat that other retard.
The only problem? You can't expect such a fella to keep diam diam for long one hor. If I was Cao Cao, there's no chance in hell I will ever let some ****witted upstart upstaging me for free. Hence, Yuan Tan having his ass handed to Cao Cao on a silver platter at Nanpi.
Which now comes to the part on Jing Province. Now this was a vital land of strategic importance. During Liu Bei's audience with Zhuge Liang, the latter did mention that by gaining the control of Jing Province first and the Yi Province afterwards, Liu Bei could command an indisputable strategic advantage.
[荆州北据汉、沔，利尽南海，东连吴会，西通巴、蜀，此用武之国，而其主不能守，此殆天所以资将军，将军岂有意乎？]
Yet, by stationing the forces by the border and not moving anywhere forward, the onus was very clear. It was in truth a pseudo-facade created in order to rift the Yuan brothers further apart. The cracks were already showing by then, it's just like a cracking vase doomed to shatter completely, superglue or no superglue. Indeed Guo Jia's exceptional show of genius truly shone again.
Of course by exterminating Yuan Tan, Cao Cao was able to effectively annex his old friend-turned-enemy's territories. In fact, he could easily declare Yuan Tan as a rebel without cause by then since their contract of political aid was effectively concluded upon defeating Yuan Shang.
Talent's KPI: A+. This is something truly unable to match Guo Jia's previous feat in predicting Sun Ce's death. But then again, we really have to give it to him for being able to formulate something out of seemingly nothing. Wait a sec, that sound weirdly like how Mogga played a half-assed first 11 against Aldershot and Hastings United respectively.
Moral of the story: You can indeed go far if you're a critical thinker able to think out of the box. Wait a sec, didn't a certain Li Ao say something about S'poreans being dumb?
And now let's enjoy the half time break first...
Disclaimer: I'm still a certified apolitical bastard. The only reason why I list down the clips is because I feel like trolling random people. :P
Okay, now onto the 2nd half....
My Final University Exams:
How I upended an army of sods (plus one familiar sod as well)
~军略袭乌丸，决策识二刘~
[太祖将征袁尚及三郡乌丸，诸下多惧刘表使刘备袭许以讨太祖，嘉曰：“公虽威震天下，胡恃其远，必不设备。因其无备，卒然击之，可破灭也。且袁绍有恩于民夷，而尚兄弟生存。今四州之民，徒以威附，德施未加，舍而南征，尚因乌丸之资，招其死主之臣，胡人一动，民夷俱应，以生蹋顿之心，成觊觎之计，恐青、冀非己之有也。表，坐谈客耳，自知才不足以御备，重任之则恐不能制，轻任之则备不为用，虽虚国远征，公无忧矣。”
太祖遂行。至易，嘉言曰：“兵贵神速。今千里袭人，辎重多，难以趣利，且彼闻之，必为备；不如留辎重，轻兵兼道以出，掩其不意。”
太祖乃密出卢龙塞，直指单于庭。虏卒闻太祖至，惶怖合战。大破之，斩蹋顿及名王已下。尚及兄熙走辽东。]
Trans:
[Upon Taizu's decision to attack Yuan Shang and the three counties of Wuwan, many under him feared the possibility of Liu Biao sending Liu Bei to attack Xu in order to declare war against Taizu.
Jia said: "Although my lord's repute has resounded throughout the land, the Hu people will never bother to stay alert due to them being far away from us. We can take advantage of their laxness and launch an abrupt attack, hence being able destroy them.
"Additionally, Yuan Shao owed a debt of gratitude towards these people and Shang is still alive with his brother. The people of the four provinces are now merely with us due to awe and without any show of actual credibility. If we are to solely focus on attacking the south, Shang will utilise the resources of Wuwan in order to rally his dead father's vassals. Upon movements coming from the Hu people, both the locals and barbaric tribes will answer the call, thus increasing Ta Dun's boldness and fulfilling their insidious plans. By then, it'll be likely that the lands of Qing and Ji will be lost to us.
"Biao on the other hand, is merely a talker who understands Bei as his better capability wise. If he is to grant Bei great responsibilities, there will be a fear towards an inability to contain him. Yet if he is to give Bei minor duties, Bei will refuse to serve. Therefore, we can rest assured going ahead even with a weak country being left behind. Hence fret not, my lord."
Thus Taizu made his move.
Upon reaching Yi, Jia advised: "It's best to deploy forces swiftly. Even though we must assault the enemy a thousand li away, our men are still being weighed down by excessive baggage. At this rate, we won't be able to achieve the desired result.
"In addition, the enemy can detect us easily, hence losing our element of surprise. Why not leave behind most of our supplies and travel forth lightly via detour, so that we can effectively blindside them?"
Thus Taizu led his forces from the Lulong Pass and assaulted the Shan'yu's court. The barbaric soldiers could only erect a panicked resistance upon word of Taizu's arrival. Completely routed, Ta Dun and his underling lords were all cut down. Shang and his elder brother Xi escaped to Liaodong.]
Analysis: Wow, that's a long ass passage here and none of them being part of Pei Songzhi's annotations. I'm gonna have some fun with this.
Okay firstly, let's talk about the two Lius. On one hand, we have Garang Liu who possessed the kind of capability to survive and adapt like a regal cockroach. No disrespect meant, but I think we really have to give Liu Bei far more credit than whatever weepy image that fictional bible would like us to believe in.
Of course Luo Guanzhong didn't harbour any intention to bullshit 90% of the global student population, it's just that we're all dumber than we look. I know because I've went through my very own Journey to the West. Just don't call me Sun Wukong (孙悟空) please. I'd rather be Sun Toukong (孙头空).
Now enough on the digression. Let's just summarise everything from Cao Cao's verdict back when he and Liu Bei were still pretty chummy.
Summary:
[“今天下英雄，唯使君与操耳。本初之徒，不足数也。”]
Trans:
[Now the only heroes of this era available are you, O'vassal, and me. As for the likes of Benchu (Yuan Shao), they are nothing."]
Which now comes to NATO Liu. Was Guo Jia bullshitting Cao Cao when he talked down NATO Liu as a bullshitter? I don't think I need to give you guys the evidence. If Garang Liu was offered the chance to do so, he would have gladly kicked Cao Cao straight in the bollocks.
And now let us go onto the actual battle. Now I don't have to explain why Guo Jia insisted on taking down the blokes at Wuwan since it's already self-explanatory. Let's talk about Wuwan first. Where is Wuwan? It's actually way far flung to the north.
Now we must understand that the Han people weren't the only ones populating China back then. All the while, we also have the minority ethnic races popping up as well. We can basically split these people into two broad categories:
1. Those whose civilisation was based in the various mountain ranges. The most commonly known areas would be the Ba Shu (巴蜀) region now more famously known as part of Szechuan, and the Nanzhong (南中) region which is basically the entire mountainous area south of China (Yunan is one of the most famous example of such a terrain).
2. The northern grasslands/steppes where the nomadic tribes hailed from.
Wuwan belonged to the latter and the term Hu people is actually a collective term reserved for such folks (although by the time where Zhuge Liang managed to assume total control over the entire Shu Han faction, the Hu people were already there. Most likely due to Ma Chao's defection N ages ago, but that's just me hazarding a guess).
In fact, it's even further up north than Hebei itself and that really suggests the kind of crazy challenge Cao Cao had to face back then and to be fair, it was truly a draining expedition. Thankfully, he had his much famed/feared Cavalry of Tiger and Panther (虎豹骑) which might have been hinted as being the super blokes doing the job.
As if that's not enough, quite naturally their chief of elite cavalry, Cao Chun (曹纯) was present. Plus a brief account from Zhang Liao (张辽) did also clearly imply that Mr Mofo himself had partaken in Operation Ho-Chi-Liap-Ho-Li-Si.
Of course we have to ask ourselves a very interesting question here finally. How did Ta Dun get himself and his khakis killed where in fact they're all undergoing a court convention? The northern tribes didn't really care much for buildings, that's why. Simply put, the entire meeting was taking place in a tent right at the middle.
Again, in Guo Fengxiao we trust.
Talent's KPI: S+++. Because that's the end of the story for all.
And lastly let us enjoy some ending victory sideshow...
WARNING!
VULGAR HOKKIEN CONTENT IN THE CLIP BELOW!!!!!
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