Okay, you all don't have to bother finding that URL. That's just something I made up myself. -.-;
So let's talk cock about the Lampard (no) deal
Will he or will he not? Well, to be brutally frank, I feel that either Lampard can move on as a player or try doing something really constructive in the backroom. Now this is NOT me being a callous bastard, because I think Lamps needs to consider this: Can he still contribute on the field? Not so much on an age-relative basis since every pundit will call this bullshitting. [1] And I agree as well. If Chelsea still has to rely on a flickering Lamps worth a whopping 30+ years, then that's it. Something is truly wrong somewhere and somehow. This will hurt the entire Stamford Bridge faithful and the entire team. **** my own personal bias, everything had been an issue belonging to the past due to the Geremi debacle ages ago. [2]
So what's my take here? Now I'm not gonna hype up Josh "Lil'Josh" McEachran because Jack "Gunner Jack" Wilshere was nearly ruined by this very same media hype factor. [3] If there's anything to go by, Chelsea must try hunting for an able replacement. Bastian "die Bastion" Schweinsteiger perhaps? I do see his style as a perfect foil to Jon Obi Mikel. In fact, die Bastion do have a positive influence upon the dead centre of middle third. Something proven by the Euro 2012. The only catch? Jon Obi "black Obi-Wan" Mikel must really up his game because once the red carpet comes flying out from another black, everything will be ****ed.
So let's talk cock about Ba scoring
Is it anywhere surprising?
Chris Waddle once said some really damning shit and it's all up here. Arsene "le incendie volontaire" Wenger has stated his desire for little Walcott to sign an extension. A case of desperation mayhap? Might not be such a problème élémentaire, mon Monsieur.
You see, the term footballing brain is NOT just about how well you can play in a specific position. If you believe me not, go try asking the FA about why St George's Park has to be built. In fact, I don't buy all that "Walcott is best played on the wing" pile of bullshit. Simply put, there's only one way to make Chris Waddle eat his words. And it's called tactical versatility. Don't believe me, go ask a certain Mustapha "Muzzy" Carayol. I don't find him that shabby as a centre forward and guess who's our gaffer?
Yes, Theo. Try saying "Je fais confiance à le Professeur" please. [3]
So let's talk cock about handling your ball, Newcastle plus the War of Red Roses
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| This generated at least 50 'OMG' 'Holy shiiiit' posts in under a minute. That's an entire page. The subsequent penalty kick miss led to a further two pages of 'WTF' 'Omg' 'Holy shit' posts. It was rumoured to have crashed the servers |
And just a wee bit on my own take this weekend.
1. Ser A.Fergie vs Northern Irish citizen Rodgers.
2. Dynamic counter football vs attacking football.
3. 4-4-2 vs 4-3-3
Now allow me to talk some cock on point 1. Brendan Rodgers will be facing what is arguably his biggest test of now. Actually, he had already gotten a round 1 before. Now I've stated somewhere before that Fergie must be the man to beat if any team is to prove itself on the highest standard. And the reason why is this: Fergie is surely one hell of a sly bastard. We all know he's an extremely capable man-motivator and an extremely capable man-exterminator. [4] But at the same time, let's cut him some slack. As in we really have to give him the props in terms of tactical substitutions. In short, this is something requiring not some detailed planning, but rather the gift of strategic foresight. Within 3-4 matches, we've seen RVP sitting on the bench. Twice if my memory is correct. Giving the entire team a lifted boost? Well, yes. We call it "Dutch courage and let's go Dutch pls."
Now onto point 2. Fergie's brand of football will never change. Tactics will evolve, but footballing philosophy will stay static. Simply put, dynamic counter football is NOT dynamic anti football. We're not talking about Liverpool under Rafa playing Lyon in a certain Champion's League group match where Shebby Singh actually mentioned that long famous a-phrase. [5] It's actually a case where the middle 4 will be the utmost priority in winning any given match. More on that later. Attacking football? Need I say more? Beirut is the capital of Lebanon, not England or Spain. [6]
Point 3. As per stated above, the middle 4 is the key to Fergie's tactics. A default flat 4 turned middle 3 is intended for creating the platform for counter possession play upon which there will always be two holding midfielders controlling the match from the centre midfield. Of course 4-4-2 is only a mere variation of Fergie's football since a 4-2-3-1 is also counted as valid. How Rodgers is gonna nullify the enemy's core is not my problem anyway. Unless Suarez starts ranting about yellow people instead of black and white people. [7]
So let's talk cock about Boro in general
Okay, firstly and foremost, let's give Hastings United a well deserved tip of our hats. Now I'm not being a sarcastic bastard because I'm sincerely impressed by those lads playing with a passion and drive so bloody missed sorely in the top flight. #RESPECT
Now onto Merouane "will we see a living Marrakesh?" Zemmama. Now his performance in this match is the kind of Zemmama I'm waiting to see. Or rather, I will only be convinced come end of the season. I truly doubt this match was his best because depending on his future for the rest of the season, he may end up being Boro's Mr Marrakesh. [8] Now granted he's a good technical player along the mold of a creative midfielder. He's got the intelligence, he's got the technique, and he can shoot far better than Mido last time round. [9] So what's his problem thus far? To me, it's a monster created by his injury nightmare last season. The Watford bust-up during our final match last season should be just seen as a tabloid fodder since he's still here with us. But yet, (possibly) due to the kind of buys Mogga had brought in pre-season, his injury crisis would end up having a compounding effect. Coupled with the emergence of Richard "not Xabi Alonso" Smallwood, one can only imagine the kind of tough battle for the jersey. The only catch? I don't find anything wrong behind Mogga's decision to play both in the starting line up. Smallwood behind, Marrakesh (?) up front. Two big strikers in the form of Ishmael Miller and Luke Williams would mean we had a very technical frontline where it's not a given that our front two will score a ball or two by default. Actually, Miller scored one and Marrakesh two. Goal no.4 came from our left back cum ex-left winger. Andy Halliday=interesting tactical option.
Which now comes to the most mouthwatering end of this post. Will Watford pose a threat? Well, that's quite obviously a bullshit question. It's just like asking whether Gianfranco Zola is a racist. Which of course is yet another bullshit question. Now I've seen their last three matches and I discovered an eerily familiar area. While I do not know anything in depth pertaining to Watford this season, only until now have I realised that you don't mess with a team playing 5 hornets across the midfield. This might be what Zola is capable of here. Italians are basically a bunch of stereotypical racists. This is wrong. Italians are basically a bunch of stereotypical cowards in football, now I don't see anything wrong here. Not that there's really anything wrong with the Vicarage faithful or their beloved football team anyway. Rather, it's acceptable to me since Vicarage is not being bossed by Gus "me Gusta!" Poyet.
So now comes the biggest problem: 5 angry hornets flying across the midfield will only mean trouble for us since we're at home. Read: We'll have to score some goals since Steve Gibson has been pulling out all stops to ensure our promotion.
P.S: Will Matěj Vydra start this weekend or will Zola pull off a Fergie?
Troy Deeney+Matěj Vydra= a two headed elk running loose
[1]: Unless we start seeing one goal scored per match on average for five matches running.
[2]: Now that the bugger wound got healed, I suddenly realised that the boardroom has gotten quite axe crazy. The Shining, anyone? Stephen King must be pleased.
[3]: I pieced everything together through a French-English dictionary. Yes, it's broken French, mes amis/amies.
[5]: I got a very long memory. But I'm not a Northman from Westeros. The shape of my face looks funnily like a Stark though.
[6]: No intent to fan any xenophobia/Islamophobia. It's just a mere tongue in cheek insider's joke originating from the North East Football Banter FB page. That plus I've never threatened to bomb Beirut, did I?
[7]: Now come to think of it, should Latin Americans be considered as white people? Dunno anything apart from the fact that I'm a certified East Asian.
[8]: Night market anybody?
[9]: And it's been confirmed: Middlesbrough F.C has never been guilty of hiding suicide bombers. The House of Commons have confirmed this with me. :P
Have to put this up b/c of Me Gusta! Poyet
Have to put this up b/c of Marrakesh
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