Kork M. Hancock, Rogue Economist: How one empire's resurgence boosts global economy (Part 2)

Notice

Apparently, IRE has gotten really famous. Too famous maybe. If monocultural countries like Japan and South Korea knows roughly what you look like, you know they will start sending the military after your ass. Maybe that's us at the IRE being too paranoid, but when I say military, it's something totally out of this world. For no reason at all, I earned the admiration of global celebrity, Lady Gabra. Hence, I requested bodyguards for this stupid lobo columnist here, all three counted as global stars also.

Star no.1: Korean starlet Park Si-Ran will be protecting him 24/7 due to her expertise in national martial arts.

Star no.2: Chinese actress Xiao Longmei will put him under surveillance 24/7.

Star no.3: Lastly but not least, Japanese thespian talent Enjou Kousai will be in charge of internal affairs 24/7.

~ Sincerely yours, Institute of Rogue Economists
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai

Part 2: How an empire's entertainment works

To uphold the correct spirit of journalism, it's with my heaviest heart that what my boss said is true. But then again, all three really lagi chio, so at least not that bad. So now onto the second link-the entertainment scene. For reasons baffling every genetic scientists thus far, it seems that Great Burritian's women are blessed with sexy figure and a pretty face. In fact, statistics shown by famous global brand, Duress, has discovered the average cup size for a Great Burritain woman is a whopping G.

In order to milk the cash cow (pardon the pun), Great Burritian started an industry no other nation is capable of overtaking:

Burritain's next Great Top

This was an idea mooted as early as the 80s. However, the plan was cancelled because local channels refused to play with fire. And by fire, I mean overly angry parents and overly horny kids. Basically as quoted by Maggie Hatchet's successor-

"The dangers of sex cannot be underestimated. Our lasses are the most desirable lasses in the world! Why should we let foreign males shag them? It doesn't make any sense at all!"

~Winston Chutney

Chutney's rein, however, never really took off due to a freak accident involving horse racing. Details were unknown back then, they remain unknown now. After Chutney, a young upstart named Major John took over. By implementing rapid reforms, Maggie Hatchet's policies were realised to their maximum potential. Indeed the first edition of Burritian's next Great Top smashed the ratings ceiling. Even the much feared adult backlash never materialised. Pertaining to this mystery, renowned South Korean psychologist, Eric Jang Geun-Soh has this to say-

"It's not really rocket brain science to be honest. When parents are caught doing things under the cover, kids will always ask the damndest things. You see, parents can never lie personally to their children, they have to be educated instead. That's why whatever happens in private should stay private, this is exactly why people are still pushing for the felony status for invasion of privacy."

If Dr Jang's assessment is correct, that will explain the emergency measures for planned parenthood one year later. To the historians, it's known as the Dark Ages. To the baby boomers, they recalled their greatest feats with passionate pride.

In short, if nothing happens, it means nothing happens at all.

The age of higher Reality TV

Unhappy with the surging success achieved by Burritain's next Great Top, current media mogul Simon Cowed decided to show the entire world what Great Burritains are really capable of. Hence, ushering the hit series:

The Axed Factor

Thanks to Simon Cowed's words of mass destruction (abbrev: WMD), The Axed Factor managed to garner another kind of audience-people who enjoyed hearing teens and tweens singing aloud. In particular, people will always remember how contestants managed to take a step up after surviving every barrage of WMD. Of course given that we're talking about reality television show, there has to be a certain drama 24/7, thus a spike in mental breakdown cases amounting to attempted suicide.

Amazingly enough, the final winner was a sixteen year old girl by the name of Cate Middlearth. Seven years after, Cate Middlearth married the highest potential authority in Great Burritain, Prince B.M Williams. And this is in spite of Cate being slightly autistic and quite a fantasy nerd. Needless to say, Simon Cowed manage to carve out more than a niche for himself.

Sadly, The Axed Factor got axed from public TV after its first season due to parents complaining over on-screen child abuse despite the nature of reality shows. However, famous media pundit Stefan Irish has this to say:

We could have unearthed the second Cate Middlearth if not for parentage meddling. How Burritain's next Great Top secured constant high ratings is beyond me, but thankfully we already got famous celebrities bringing pride to our people even with whatever external interference enforced.

In the gaming circuit, we got the reigning doubles champion of World RPG Tourney, Greatjon Snow and Robbed Stark. Although constant first runner up Dick Lannister deserves honourable mention.

When it comes to the silver screen, we have Emmy Megawattson.

And lastly but the greatest of them all, we are proud to say that famous idol boy band, Once Directed, is also a band of Burritain brothers despite failure in getting past The Axed Factor's round 1.

To be continued...