That Random Blade: Literally the most intelligent bastard ever... (Part 3)

Both ears blocked, can't wait for 2nd of May. If the wording seems wonky, do not be surprised.

[平遂至修武降汉，因魏无知求见汉王，汉王召入。是时万石君奋为汉王中涓，受平谒，入见平。平等七人俱进，赐食。王曰：“罢，就舍矣。”

平曰：“臣为事来，所言不可以过今日。”

于是汉王与语而说之，问曰：“子之居楚何官？”

曰：“为都尉。”

是日乃拜平为都尉，使为参乘，典护军。诸将尽讙，曰：“大王一日得楚之亡卒，未知其高下，而即与同载，反使监护军长者！”

汉王闻之，愈益幸平。遂与东伐项王。至彭城，为楚所败。引而还，收散兵至荥阳，以平为亚将，属于韩王信，军广武。

绛侯、灌婴等咸谗陈平曰：“平虽美丈夫，如冠玉耳，其中未必有也。臣闻平居家时，盗其嫂；事魏不容，亡归楚；归楚不中，又亡归汉。今日大王尊官之，令护军。臣闻平受诸将金，金多者得善处，金少者得恶处。平，反复乱臣也，愿王察之。”

汉王疑之，召让魏无知。无知曰：“臣所言者，能也；陛下所问者，行也。今有尾生、孝己之行而无益处于胜负之数，陛下何暇用之乎？楚汉相距，臣进奇谋之士，顾其计诚足以利国家不耳。且盗嫂受金又何足疑乎？”

汉王召让平曰：“先生事魏不中，遂事楚而去，今又从吾游，信者固多心乎？”

平曰：“臣事魏王，魏王不能用臣说，故去事项王。项王不能信人，其所任爱，非诸项即妻之昆弟，虽有奇士不能用，平乃去楚。闻汉王之能用人，故归大王。臣裸身来，不受金无以为资。诚臣计划有可采者，顾大王用之；使无可用者，金具在，请封输官，得请骸骨。”

汉王乃谢，厚赐，拜为护军中尉，尽护诸将。诸将乃不敢复言。]

《史记: 陈丞相世家》

Trans:

[Ping travelled all the way to Xiuwu in a bid to defect towards Han, the King of Han approved his plea through Wei Wuzhi's request. At the same time, Ping also managed to convince the Central Minister at that time to grant him an audience. After he and six others were granted admittance and food, the King stated: "Dismiss, all of you may depart now."

Ping then said: "I have serious matters to discuss, for come tomorrow I will have no chance."

Thus the King of Han engaged Ping in a dialogue, after which he asked: "What is your standing during your days in Chu?"

Ping replied: "As the Grand Commander."

On the same day, Ping was made the Grand Commander together with the right to travel alongside the King and overseeing the duty of protecting the army. However, all the generals soon spoke slandering words, advising: "He's merely a defected general from Chu and O'King you have yet to gauge his capability! Thus it's a folly to let one like him travelling alongside and supervising the officers!"

Upon hearing such words, the King of Han chose to favour Ping even more as Ping accompanied the army to fight the King of Xiang. Unto city of Peng, the Chu forces defeated them. The Han forces managed to stage an organized retreat all the way back to Xingyang where Ping was made the Second General under King of Han, Xin, his forces stationed at Guangwu.

The Marquis of Jiang together with the likes of Guan Ying again chose to slander Chen Ping, stating: "Ping may be a man of handsome stature akin to the finest jade, but he is not all he seems to be. We have heard that he used to have an affair with his brother's wife while at home; after defecting from Wei, he pledged allegiance to Chu. He was not happy at Chu, hence coming to Han. Now that O'King you have honoured him and entrusted duties of protecting the army unto him, we have heard Ping accepting bribery from the generals. Those offering more ended up profiting, those offering less would gain only disfavour. Ping is indeed a disloyal official bringing about chaos, hence we humbly ask O'King you to investigate."

The King of Han grew wary as he summoned Wei Wuzhi. Wuzhi thus said: "As a humble vassal serving you, O'King, I will only recommend men of talent and nothing more. O'King you are asking about character. What service will the likes of Wei Sheng and Xiao Ji offer should we unable to secure victory? The conflict between Chu and Han is the reason why your humblest servant recommend people of military capability unseen before. I only mind whatever gambit and sincerity he has to offer, so why should his credibility play a part?"

The King of Han then summoned Ping, stating: "O'Adviser you have defected from Wei firstly, after which you ended up defecting from Chu. Now you have chosen to follow me, why is it men who believe can be so fickle?"

Ping replied: "Your humblest servant left the King of Wei because he refused my advice, hence departing for the King of Xiang. Yet, the King of Xiang is a distrustful one, only those close to him will be appointed with great duties. He's unable to use men of unseen talent, thus Ping left Chu. Word has reached to me that the King of Han has an eye for talent, that's why I pledged allegiance to you, O'King. I came before you back then with nothing, I merely hope O'King you are able to use my talent. If I can't offer anything in return, my riches are still around with my post ready for removal and a request for death also."

The King of Han thus offered his apologies and rewarded Ping handsomely. He made Ping the Central Commander Who Protects the Army, every general was to be subjected under his jurisdiction and protection as a result. From thereon, no one in the military dared to utter any word.]

《Annals of History: Record of Chancellor Chen》

Analysis: Can't stupid people give a poor talent a break? Cut him some slack lah! But firstly, let me explain the role of a Central Minister. This is a post quite similar to the Central Chamberlain during the Three Kingdoms era apart from a different naming. In fact just like the Central Chamberlain, this was a post where granting of audience will be decided by such an individual. The big **** back then was truly a big ****. Back then, the big **** in question was Shi Fen (石奋) aka Lord of Ten Thousand Stones (万石君). This was someone who can be trusted, Chen Ping knew this as well. In short, no $$$, only myself.

At the same time, he also managed to convince another Wei Wuzhi upon basis of whatever he's capable of. Of course Liu Bang wasn't that impressed with the Magnificent Seven until Chen Ping managed to bugger him down with just one simple message. It's now or never, make or break. Either he would fulfill his dream of making his name known or he would go bust for life.

Needless to say, Liu Bang was truly impressed by this handsome phenom, hence asking about his CV. Back then, the resultant appointment created a stir among his men because they doubted his ability (which basically gets to show how anal the acceptable East Asian model was back then).

Liu Bang's reply?

Now the thing with Chen Ping's post is this: Back then, he's still the same ol' Grand Commander. Grand Commander within this context is a major post where the central government is concerned. In short, such post was entitled an absolute power over military deployment. So long every decision made was to be within your own territory, i.e. for defensive/reinforcement purposes, everything's legit. This was a post offered to Chen Ping when he was under Xiang Yu and Liu Bang chose to go one up better. No, make that two up better. By granting Chen Ping the right to accompany and duty to protect and supervise the army, Liu Bang might have created his greatest controversial moment yet. Until we end up realising Liu Bang had always been a controversy during his time pre-unification (quite a bit like a certain Senhor Mou if I say so myself).

And the trust actually reaped dividends. The Grand Commander post was for Chen Ping should Liu Bang choose to redeploy him back to whatever home base he had. Yet, the power to mobilise whatever military backup from the home base still applies all the same. The one manning the fort back then was Xiao He (and possibly Cao Shen as well), but he could only boss the logistics and fortifying whatever fort available, be it manpower or any other resources. In short, any defensive deployment would most likely go through Chen Ping beforehand with Xiao He being the boss in his absence.

As for protecting/supervising the army, this was a system created by the Qin dynasty (or maybe even earlier due to the Qin military already being advanced prior to unifying the other six warring states). Supervising the generals would ensure discipline and a minimal risk of mutiny. Protecting them would mean allocating whatever manpower available. In accordance to Minghui-matics, it should go something like this:

I give General A 5000 men=General A has 5000 men.

I give General B 4000 men=General B has 4000 men.

I give Zhao Yun only this much manpower=Cao Cao's entire backup pwned

Now given the nature of defeat inflicted by Xiang Yu, it would take a stupid ass to assume Chen Ping wasn't a talent. You see, Xiang Yu not only had a far superior military back then, he also had his ah-kong to thank. In short, one does not simply **** around with Fan Zeng [范增].

Insider's joke: Problem, RP?

Yet, we must also understand that without Chen Ping's meticulous calculation, there's no way Liu Bang's forces could ever rally on time. Xiang Yu has always been an aggressive individual and come making war, he won't end up making love (quite a far cry from you, Robb *le sob*). In short, if you're a capable boss and you generals don't do things like a boss, you can only rely on advisers truly like a boss. Zhang Liang was far more about dealing with circumstances, Chen Ping was all about dealing with people. According to Minghui-matics...

2+2=4

4+4=8

This is Zhang Liang.

2+2=4

1+1+1+1=4

3+1=4

2 x 2 =4

This is Chen Ping.

2+2 means analysing the problem; 4 means solving the problem.

8 means how to kill off the problem; the rest means how to make use of the problem.

Problem, my most hated secondary school subject?

Then we have Chen Ping playing second fiddle in the aftermath. Seems kenna demoted until we realised who's his immediate boss...

Oh and one more thing: Guangwu has always been regarded as an important military buffer zone and Liu Bang put Chen Ping there. Go figure, people.

In the end, still GOT people complaining. This time, we no comprain abt class, we comprain abt crass. Interestingly enough, there was absolutely NO evidence behind whatever charges levelled by Zhou Bo, Guan Ying, etc (And that's still given Zhou Bo being certified as Chen Ping's inferior. That's why he ragequit (?) halfway during Wen Emperor's reign). Call me a jerk, but apart from Zhou Bo [周勃] and Han Xin, the rest of Liu Bang's generals were only there to kill other generals (Notably enough, it was one of these orang bodoh who saved Liu Bang's son from Xiang Yu's most horrendous death penalty. Take a bow, Xiahou Ying [夏侯婴]. You really deserve my respect. Fan Kuai [樊哙] however still can only kill dogs).

So how, Liu Bang? He summoned Wei Wuzhi (since fella was the one recommending that lobo prince) and Wuzhi actually gave his boss an intelligent answer. (Wei Sheng is historical person known as a steadfast lover while Xiao Ji is known as a filial son)

Come Chen Ping's turn, he managed to execute a Level Max technique entitled "I swear to speak nothing, but the truth". Liu Bang finally repented (since he ended up asking stupid questions) and gave Chen Ping a truly badass and kickass post. It's called the Central Commander Who Protects the Army.

Now this was a post which would grant Chen Ping absolute power in man-deployment. Not only did he have the power to supervise, it's also very likely that he also had the power to mobilise freely whatever manpower in the middle of war itself, hence the term "...every general was to be subjected under his jurisdiction and protection..." Basically, that means his previous status would only allow him to deploy the troops before battle since the term "protecting the army" is a major tad different from the term "protecting the generals".

Moral of the story:

This is Liu Bang's reply to every slanderous bastard slandering ever after.