Notice
Word has it that this stupid columnist who have nothing better to do had created a bombshell. We know that all too famous fantasy novel, A Rango's Tale (abbrev: ART). Apparently, this columnist is NOT the anonymous writer because he's not clever enough. Yet, President of South Kimchigook, Park Jin Heon believed this to be otherwise. No thanks to this unnamed lobo who only knows how to write shit, IRE has experienced a spike in fan mail amounting to death threats all over. Let this be known: KMH has NOTHING to do with this. So rest all the fan hate, okay? We all know said female celebrity is pretty much S(ingle) A(vailable) D(esirable).
~ Sincerely yours, Institute of Rogue Economists
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai
P.S: In order to quell any doubts, this is NOT what KMH has written:
Part 3: World Warcraft III (WW3)
In spite of what is being said even till now, WW3 actually existed. Yet amazingly enough, WW3 is technically not a war because of no guns being fired. In short, it's NOT even a ceasefire reached.
So what's WW3 all about?
It started last year somewhere in the East where there were a lot of territories waiting to be won. Even until today, there are a few territories currently being disputed despite false speculation believing that Baulklands is the only area being fought over.* With the advent of internet, it's even possible to speculate whether atomic bombs will be falling over their own families' heads.
Funnily enough, only a military standoff happened and all the speculators got was actual people making fun of their online selves. Ironically, the golden rule of internet dictates that fake people are real people, real people are fake people.
*To set the record straight, Baulklands now belongs to another nation NOT part of the East.
So what caused WW3?
Apparently, World Warcraft is actually a game modeled after the previous 2 World Warcraft events. In short, there are two kinds of World Warcraft: the real ones and the fake one. It's still running strong, it actually caused a major shitstorm due to this:
How an internet meme changed the world
Firstly and foremost, allow yours truly to say that North Kimchigook has already opened up its borders to that greedy southern neighbour for the sake of greediness. In short, North Kimchigook cannot survive without capitalism, it can only bow to capitalism. Apparently though, only that southern cousin is allowed to engage in whatever economic activities permitted under law.
Yet, it actually started when a certain Southern gamer got beat by another Southern gamer. Said Southern gamer was pissed off and that other Southern gamer told him/her to **** off. Since we're talking vocabulary which shouldn't be mentioned, the entire South Kimchigook was soon swamped with pr0n images involving female Elves and everybody else together with this meme above. Even though any speculation on whether this was coming from GAINEH's technology went underway, it seems that:
1. The idiot posting the meme forgot to edit it so that everything will stay relevant to the core.
2. His enemy's account got hacked. Since said enemy was a besotted Elf gamer, all Elf sprites discovered were quintessentially girls. In short, this was revenge made possible.
At the same time, North Kimchigook declared war and one particular Southerner has this to say. Actually, it's our Head of Civics and Morals Faculty who secured this exclusive interview. For this, we must recognise the efforts of Mat Mampos bin Musibot.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: Hello there. What's your name, boy?
Boy: Hey, you call me boy? I'm already sixteen!
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: Still a boy. Depending on your country's law, you're either legit come eighteen or twenty one. But I'm not here to start a fight.
Boy: Yeah I know. You sound like a teacher I've had before. She's a good teacher, but she died.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: I'm sorry to hear that.
Boy: Never mind. By the way, name is Tae Seo Dae.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: An interesting name you have here. By the way, what made you decide to give me this exclusive interview?
Tae Seo Dae: Because you saved my life! Don't you remember?
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: But I only reform Mat Rempit!
Tae Seo Dae: I'm part of the order lah, Pakcik!
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: Erm... boleh then. So what's your story on Kim Jung Urn?
Tae Seo Dae: Dearest Leader Captain or in short DLC. That's what his people still call him.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: And how did you reform him? I'm sorry to be this straightforward, but I've got a flight to catch because last minute my country need me to counsel a gun wielding Mat Rempit.
Tae Seo Dae: Well, long story short, I got caught by the North Kimchigook border guards. I don't know why, but the ajeoshi driving the taxi ended up dumping me at the militarised zone instead of the demilitarised zone. He said I look like the brother of Kim Jung Urn, Kim Na Bae. In the end I got caught, blindfolded, and led to the most terrible Kim Jung Urn.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: And he's not really terrible?
Tae Seo Dae: Yeah. He's actually a very lonely leader because his late father forbade him to do anything apart from eating. He's got a far above average IQ. It's just a shame that people looked down on him because they saw his elder brother, Kim Na Bae, as the most worthy heir despite both having similar intellect. Long story short, Kim Na Bae died due to accidental food poisoning and the Father-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named followed suit due to a suspected case of accidental food poisoning. Kim Jung Urn only wanted peace, nobody gave him any peace. Coupled with the fact that he enjoyed watching harmless shows banned by his late Father-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he actually desired an audience with us, the greedy South.
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: And a dialogue was struck?
Tae Seo Dae: Hey, I have smartphone, he didn't have, okay? I told him I can get him through to the government via my smartphone, my country's president was also rather surprised towards the fact that Kim Jung Urn knew how to use it. In fact, I wasn't the one using my phone. It's Lil'Kim. Oh, that's my nickname for DLC, so don't use it anyhow. He's very sensitive towards this nickname unless I say it myself. Also, he now has a smartphone. Latest model as well...
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: Thank you very much, Tae Seo Dae. I have to rush now. If not, I'll miss the flight and miss the chance to counsel Mat Gila. Poor boy needs immediate help because everyone in his school called him gila.
Tae Seo Dae: Oh, I need to tell you one more thing, Pakcik!
Mat Mampos bin Musibot: Apeh?
Tae Seo Dae: The culprit sending pr0n images of Elven girls and everybody else was DLC. I need to make this clear because my parents wanted me to have a decent conscience since young.
Repercussions on global economy
The South has the technology, the North has manpower. Even though Kimchi unification is still regarded a dream, at least both the South and North are living far better lives. In fact, latest word has it that the North has recently upgraded it's military due to having much more money earned. And that was just one year ago. In fact, yesterday was the First Anniversary of Mutual Brotherhood and the Northern DLC himself had posted three funny Twats on famous social network, Twatter:
Twat 1:
Twat 2:
Twat 3:
For the third Twat, famous unnamed celebrity has this MV of his in reply:
Plus one more video uploaded from Yolotube by the same unnamed celebrity
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