Kork M. Hancock, Rogue Economist: Benefits of war for global economy and a higher civilisation (Part 1)

Disclaimer!

This is a satirical piece and this rogue economist everybody loves to hate is now back stirring up some more shit. At the same time, let the truly intelligent see for him/herself on my trollolol target(s).

Lowdown on the columnist

Kork.M.Hancock is a leading young star of the Institute of Rogue Economists. Supposedly a promising student from H@rv*rd Uni dual majoring in political studies and economy, he was promptly expelled due to getting caught in the middle of watching porn while jacking himself off. Claims of intentional bullying went to nothing as Kork was... well left with nothing until IRE offered him a spot in the Analysis Faculty.

Lowdown on the institute

Institute of Rogue Economists (abbrev: IRE) is an unlisted think tank unaffiliated with any political party or even any given nation. Due to their inability to conduct terrorism (some say they're pretty much law abiding citizens although such claims were shot down just as fast), anything said in the columns should be taken with a grain of salt. Or so says the current Government regime. Whoever that may be anyway.

Special mention:

Due to this stupid lobo's incessant ogling, we at the IRE therefore are now announcing a bombshell of sorts. Allen "Tigress Allen" Ellen has now a new partner to leash this stupid horny dog called the columnist. To Miss Smith Wesson NG, our expectations are high. Hence, do not hesitate to give Allen's stupid buaya friend your customary NG artillery.

~ Institute of Rogue Economists
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai

Foreword

War... 'tis a beautiful word, 'tis a vulgar word. Hence, 'tis a beautiful vulgar word.

This very quote comes from renowned philosopher cum war hero, Patrick d'Chin after his mother country's victory during the Centurion War against the English (or better known back then as the Engrish). So what makes war so vulgar in the first place? There can be only one answer perfectly summed up by history:

Do anything, but don't get killed.

What makes war such a beautiful word then? There can be only one answer perfectly summed by humane history:

Do anything without getting killed.

In fact, renowned Italian sociologist Eric Spressoh has this to say:

There's a difference between a human being and a monkey. Human beings are capable of controlling the trigger, monkeys only know how to pull the trigger.

So let's get to Part 1

Due to the potential nature of length, this column will be split into three parts because good things all come in three-s. The first part will be to cover World Warcraft I (abbrev: WW1). Now due to the trauma of war capable of wrecking lives via PTSD, it is to my best discretion that as very little details should be leaked as possible.

We all know what WW1 was all about. A certain Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named actually managed to conquer one entire Western hemisphere. Even if it's only for two months or so. Now what made war such a lucrative business is this:

You have weapons, I have weapons, someone must make for me better weapons.

In fact, this is why Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was so powerful within such a short span of time! They have the money, traders have the weapons. The hardware was there, but what about the software? Despite popular opinions, Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named is not really that rich. It merely had a willing people and a willing boss. Said boss promised bountiful riches to every genetic scientist should global domination be completed, this is why post-50% of the world population don't really trust science. Because they say Science is Evil.

Of course everything was a botched job. Intended human restructuring ended up in a massive failure after four months of success (i.e. 2 months in waging war and 2 months in trying to pacify countless people in the name of metal rods).

Yet, after said boss killed himself under mysterious situation (some said he pulled the trigger onto himself despite not pulling one before in his entire life), Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named somehow became a peaceful country after decades of hardcore fighting. And by hardcore fighting, I mean fighting against poverty due to a biased war trial killing off 100% of the enemy war criminals.

Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named had finally learnt their lesson. The people knew they couldn't have their guns-and-glories dreams anymore. It's either you reform or you deform. Massive spending cuts were introduced, both the rich and poor resented the fact that they have to pay the price for another bugger's failure. Even though said bugger was already dead and burnt.

And therein I must mention a lady of fortitude, Angry Angie.

Who's Angry Angie and why is she a political icon?

Firstly and foremost, Angry Angie used to be foreign minister in charge of foreign affairs. After the freak death of her previous big boss due to cardiac arrest, Angry Angie finally took over. Her first task was to reduce whatever pressing deficit in terms of money, of course. Defence spending was the first one to go. After that, whatever money saved went into the pockets of every winner since Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was the obvious loser. The latter made the poor angry because they only know how to manufacture human beings, the former made the rich angry because they only know how to manufacture weapons.

Yet, whatever little left behind was used for educational purposes. Educators were discouraged to teach political ideology, lecturers were encouraged to teach actual ideology. There's only so much one can do with a book alone, there's truly this much more one can do with the brain alone. And this is the breakdown of the upgraded curriculum since I don't know how to do the specifics:

Political ideology - Things taught by people you do not know nor understand.

Actual ideology - Things taught by people you do not know, but at least you know how to understand.

Of course it's pointless for me to list down the details, but we can be sure that Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named has now became a Force-Which-Now-Has-A-Name.

So now comes the final part of this Part 1: Why did Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named end up being defeated from the inside rather than the outside? Renowned genetic scientist, Bugger-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named has this to say:

In contrary to whatever common consensus abound, foreigners can be equally, if not more intelligent than the native ethnicity. This has been the truth understood by all apart from Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Its only ethnicity back then were the Bleached Walkers, people undergoing unspeakable treatment so that they could perform better than all the lesser races. Two months of success turned out to be false hope, for what truly destroyed Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was merely that one thing called "genetic malfunction".