Notice
We at the IRE are alarmed to know 2014 has greeted the world. Three days ago, Head of Astronomy Faculty actually predicted 2014 will be the end of the world. As a result, I have to drag this stupid columnist out of his bed due to watching too much Elven anime porn. If this notice presents any inconvenience to the readers, we at the IRE sincerely apologize.
~ Sincerely yours, Institute of Rogue EconomistsSigned by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai
Personal statement
I do NOT profess to watch any Elven porn for the past N weeks. Everything stated by my boss is due to 2014 not being end of the world. Period. It's not my problem if an intellectual chose to believe in some deceased intellectual.
Regional crisis and a resurgent nation
The Kimchigook Civil War is arguably the most famous civil conflict known to man. Better known as the Kimchi War, it was rumored that a certain brand of national product was the mother of all conflicts. Regardless of the actual reason, it is without a doubt that war had landed North Kimchigook in a perennial state of poverty while South Kimchigook ended up with a massive national debt due to some inexplicable economy model. In fact, it took South Kimchigook more than a decade to fully clear its debt. For that, it must thank an ex-unknown local lass now turned celebrity. Unfortunately, this also proved to be North Kimchigook's undoing due to the previous Dearest Leader Captain's refusal to make his most attractive talents more attractive. In order to give every reader the actual story, the IRE managed to liaise itself with ex-local now turned global news media brand, New Nation Times*.
*Statement of intent from the relevant authority:
Due to incessant signs of cyber-stalking amounting to harmless snooping, it is to our concern whether Kork. M Hancock should be deemed suitable for this interview. After thirteen to fourteen minutes of deliberation, we decided to entrust this mission to our Head of Social Media Faculty, Miyagi.R Mysterio.
~ Sincerely yours, Institute of Rogue Economists
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai
[ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
Miyagi.R Mysterio [abbrev-M.R Mysterio]: Good day to you, Miss Park Shin-ae. It is our greatest pleasure to interview the Sexiest Girl Alive 201* for the Esquina magazine. Firstly, what do you have to say in snagging this much coveted award especially since you're the first of your kind to win this annual award?
Park Shin-ae: Well... honored, I guess? Sorry, but I'm not too good with words. You'll have to forgive me for ten years of being in social exile. School can be a bitch whenever you're living in a democracy tantamount to legal anarchy.
M.R Mysterio: Wow, that sounds intelligent. Please pardon my stupidity, Miss...
Park Shin-ae: Just call me Shin-ae. My classmates and schoolmates liked to call me that despite my lady's instinct telling me it's not a good thing. Guess certain memories will never fade away. How I wish life is truly like the four seasons...
M.R Mysterio: Erm, okay then, Shin-ae. So where were we?
Shin-ae: That Esquina award. But I thought I've said everything that needs to be said, Mr Mysterio.
M.R Mysterio: Err, actually you're right. Sorry, but you're too beautiful despite a few minor imperfections.
Shin-ae: Don't worry. I do not believe in cosmetic upgrading anyway... wait, what is this interview for exactly?
M.R Mysterio: Oh yes, I believe many of your fans would like to know how you managed to clear your country's debt.
Shin-ae: I'm still a daughter of Kinchigook even though it's now technically separated. Does that answer your question?
M.R Mysterio: I mean the details.
Shin-ae: Oh, you mean my humble beginnings... well, I guess it all started with vicious rumors circulating in school. Well, you know the problem with all-girls' schools... who likes who and who sleeps with who... it's just my luck that I somehow managed to become the talk of the school despite having zero experience with the opposite sex. I mean male teachers are allowed to teach in girls' schools, but I swear I never had anything going on with that handsome teacher!
M.R Mysterio: No one accused you of anything, Shin-ae. Calm down because I know how it feels to be misunderstood. Everyone in class and school used to ask whether my mom was illegally made pregnant where in fact I was legally born!
Shin-ae: What did you do then?
M.R Mysterio: Showed them legal documentation, they said it's fake. After treating them to the nearest 619 Popcorn Chicken, they all believed me.
Shin-ae: Wow, that's awesome! My fairy godfather also likes that one!
M.R Mysterio: Fairy godfather?
Shin-ae: He's the one teaching me how to best utilize my hidden talent.
M.R Mysterio: You mean online gaming?
Shin-ae: Yep. Fairy godfather once told me that if you can't beat them in real life, try doing so online first. After that, you must then prove your mettle to every doubter and whistler personally. After three years of self-isolation, I managed to make my name under the moniker ShineiYaro! Actually, I used this moniker because it sounded cool...
M.R Mysterio: Don't worry, we all like cool chicks. Erm I mean cool chicks and other stuff, sorry.
Shin-ae: It's okay. After all, every girl likes cool things as well. Anyway, you do know about my post-tourney makeover, no?
M.R Mysterio: Erm, no. Did I miss anything for the past two years?
Shin-ae: Guess my management agency isn't doing its job then. Never mind.
M.R Mysterio: I heard South Kimchigook managed to earn big bucks due to the marketed cosmetic brand, True Love. So what's your view on this brand since you're its marquee model?
Shin-ae: Firstly, I do not believe I should be accredited for my mother nation's rising fortune. At the most, I only set up a positive example by being myself. That's why I'm allowed to eat my favorite fried chicken once every month so long as I watch my weight.
M.R Mysterio: But it's undeniably true that your presence inspired many success stories for the next three years! Global idols like 4 Generation and Super Senior are thanking you for giving therm the courage to dream!
Shin-ae: Is that so? How come I never realized this? I only remember winning the global Grand Tank Auto tournament which netted me five million green dollars and some golden-man trophy!
M.R Mysterio: And anything else?
Shin-ae: I heard my weapon of choice for GTA became the hottest DLC property in gaming industry.
M.R Mysterio: You mean that Taiga Trunk RPG?
Shin-ae: You forgot to mention the White Plasma ammo upgrade. That's practically why I owned my finalist opponent, Justice Wong. Forget what the rest said about my accomplishments, I prefer to be humble due to my name.
M.R Mysterio: I'm afraid your country and people will beg to differ since South Kimchigook is already a leading player in GTA and many other things like cuisine and entertainment.
Shin-ae: Oh no! I nearly forget!
M.R Mysterio: Forget what?
Shin-ae: Number!
M.R Mysterio: My number? Well, I admit I'm your number one...
Shin-ae: Sorry, Gerrard. I nearly forgot to hand you back the edited manuscript. Okay, good. Thanks. Bye. Sorry, what was that again, Mr Mysterio?
M.R Mysterio: That Gerrard you're talking about... surely it's not...
Shin-ae: Yep, my boyfriend. Have you heard of Gerrard of the River? He's rather media shy, but he can be really artistic when it comes to devising his own pen name.
M.R Mysterio: Erm, yeah. Heard of him. The author whom critics hailed as a prodigy in fantasy novel writing. I'm a die hard fan of White Fang and the Lass series also...
Shin-ae: Cool then! I promise you a signed copy of the latest volume due next month, deal? I'll have to go now. Sorry for the sudden end.
M.R Mysterio: Thanks for your time then... bye...
Shin-ae: Before I forget, can I ask where did you buy that colorful mask? I want to buy one for Gerrard as well.
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