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Ok, I admit that I've failed somewhere before. But anyway welcome. Just a brief intro on what you should expect here:
1. Football. Not gonna post much of that any soon since season is over. :S
2. Anime, Games, etc. Just abt anything conceivable under the Japanese radar barring anything and everything Rule 34. Now that's illegal. Period. -.-;
3. Music. Everything to do with it is listed under the tab.
5. Unacceptable humour: Anything and everything is fair game here. As long as I don't get rounded up by the ISA. -.-'

6.
The Known World=Fantasy world building in process. I: Used to be glossary, now devoted to random rambling; II: Character Concepts; III: Lore.
7. der Wolf=my Fictionpress account under the moniker Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu. A Ranger's Tale is hosted under this page. :)
8. New section now upped. Maybe I should also gun for upping A Ranger's Tale here since I do have this funny feeling that traffic coming to here is way more than whatever I'll get in FP.

Statement of intent: Everything said here is a figment of personal opinion, be it me or anybody commenting. I try to be responsible, but my parents=/=parents of the world.

@Druid of Luhn: Crap. Should have remembered far earlier to give you the credit for your CSS text box code. :(

A/N: But sadly, it seems that your CSS text box code has now been halved efficiency wise. :(

That most important note I should have added: Any images posted in this blog are NOT my own stuff. I got them from Google image search, I don't earn any shit by being a thief and liar. Those responsible for the pictures, rest assured that you all are great artists in your own regards. Sadly, we all know what limited space means in terms of posting.

Latest Note: Changed alignment for my page widgets due to my worry that I can't centre align the thing.

Note on A Ranger's Tale: In case any complaining fella wants to have a legal case with me, let this be known that A Ranger's Tale is rated M by default. I've upped the swearing and somewhat a bit on the dark/gritty factor. You all have been warned, let no little boy and girl enter the forbidden realm.

Latest on ART: A Ranger's Tale now starting to kick back in gear. But I really hate the insanely fluctuating climate here in S'pore.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing. Vid below is yet another ideal OP for A Ranger's Tale.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Hey, let's do some racism!!!! (Part Orc)

Although technically speaking, there's nothing racist about this post apart from the fact that Azeroth on the whole is full of racists anyway...




Orgrim Doomhammer

Thrall

Broxigar Saurfang, aka the only FT worthy of scoring with a hot NE chick. :P

P.S: I don't need to include Grom Hellscream b/c he ****ed Mannaroth.
That's more than enough.

Again 1 more Thrall
Blizzard enjoy trolling

Friday, 12 April 2013

Kork M. Hancock, Rogue Economist: Benefits of war for global economy and a higher civilisation (Part 1)

Disclaimer!
This is a satirical piece and this rogue economist everybody loves to hate is now back stirring up some more shit. At the same time, let the truly intelligent see for him/herself on my trollolol target(s).

Lowdown on the columnist

Kork.M.Hancock is a leading young star of the Institute of Rogue Economists. Supposedly a promising student from H@rv*rd Uni dual majoring in political studies and economy, he was promptly expelled due to getting caught in the middle of watching porn while jacking himself off. Claims of intentional bullying went to nothing as Kork was... well left with nothing until IRE offered him a spot in the Analysis Faculty.

Lowdown on the institute

Institute of Rogue Economists (abbrev: IRE) is an unlisted think tank unaffiliated with any political party or even any given nation. Due to their inability to conduct terrorism (some say they're pretty much law abiding citizens although such claims were shot down just as fast), anything said in the columns should be taken with a grain of salt. Or so says the current Government regime. Whoever that may be anyway.

Special mention:

Due to this stupid lobo's incessant ogling, we at the IRE therefore are now announcing a bombshell of sorts. Allen "Tigress Allen" Ellen has now a new partner to leash this stupid horny dog called the columnist. To Miss Smith Wesson NG, our expectations are high. Hence, do not hesitate to give Allen's stupid buaya friend your customary NG artillery.
~ Institute of Rogue Economists
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai


Foreword

War... 'tis a beautiful word, 'tis a vulgar word. Hence, 'tis a beautiful vulgar word.

This very quote comes from renowned philosopher cum war hero, Patrick d'Chin after his mother country's victory during the Centurion War against the English (or better known back then as the Engrish). So what makes war so vulgar in the first place? There can be only one answer perfectly summed up by history:

Do anything, but don't get killed.

What makes war such a beautiful word then? There can be only one answer perfectly summed by humane history:

Do anything without getting killed.

In fact, renowned Italian sociologist Eric Spressoh has this to say:

There's a difference between a human being and a monkey. Human beings are capable of controlling the trigger, monkeys only know how to pull the trigger.

So let's get to Part 1

Due to the potential nature of length, this column will be split into three parts because good things all come in three-s. The first part will be to cover World Warcraft I (abbrev: WW1). Now due to the trauma of war capable of wrecking lives via PTSD, it is to my best discretion that as very little details should be leaked as possible.

We all know what WW1 was all about. A certain Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named actually managed to conquer one entire Western hemisphere. Even if it's only for two months or so. Now what made war such a lucrative business is this:

You have weapons, I have weapons, someone must make for me better weapons.

In fact, this is why Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was so powerful within such a short span of time! They have the money, traders have the weapons. The hardware was there, but what about the software? Despite popular opinions, Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named is not really that rich. It merely had a willing people and a willing boss. Said boss promised bountiful riches to every genetic scientist should global domination be completed, this is why post-50% of the world population don't really trust science. Because they say Science is Evil.

Of course everything was a botched job. Intended human restructuring ended up in a massive failure after four months of success (i.e. 2 months in waging war and 2 months in trying to pacify countless people in the name of metal rods).

Yet, after said boss killed himself under mysterious situation (some said he pulled the trigger onto himself despite not pulling one before in his entire life), Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named somehow became a peaceful country after decades of hardcore fighting. And by hardcore fighting, I mean fighting against poverty due to a biased war trial killing off 100% of the enemy war criminals.

Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named had finally learnt their lesson. The people knew they couldn't have their guns-and-glories dreams anymore. It's either you reform or you deform. Massive spending cuts were introduced, both the rich and poor resented the fact that they have to pay the price for another bugger's failure. Even though said bugger was already dead and burnt.

And therein I must mention a lady of fortitude, Angry Angie.

Who's Angry Angie and why is she a political icon?

Firstly and foremost, Angry Angie used to be foreign minister in charge of foreign affairs. After the freak death of her previous big boss due to cardiac arrest, Angry Angie finally took over. Her first task was to reduce whatever pressing deficit in terms of money, of course. Defence spending was the first one to go. After that, whatever money saved went into the pockets of every winner since Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was the obvious loser. The latter made the poor angry because they only know how to manufacture human beings, the former made the rich angry because they only know how to manufacture weapons.

Yet, whatever little left behind was used for educational purposes. Educators were discouraged to teach political ideology, lecturers were encouraged to teach actual ideology. There's only so much one can do with a book alone, there's truly this much more one can do with the brain alone. And this is the breakdown of the upgraded curriculum since I don't know how to do the specifics:

Political ideology - Things taught by people you do not know nor understand.

Actual ideology - Things taught by people you do not know, but at least you know how to understand.

Of course it's pointless for me to list down the details, but we can be sure that Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named has now became a Force-Which-Now-Has-A-Name.

So now comes the final part of this Part 1: Why did Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named end up being defeated from the inside rather than the outside? Renowned genetic scientist, Bugger-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named has this to say:

In contrary to whatever common consensus abound, foreigners can be equally, if not more intelligent than the native ethnicity. This has been the truth understood by all apart from Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Its only ethnicity back then were the Bleached Walkers, people undergoing unspeakable treatment so that they could perform better than all the lesser races. Two months of success turned out to be false hope, for what truly destroyed Force-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named was merely that one thing called "genetic malfunction".

20th April...

Apparently, this will be the date where A Game of Thrones will feature on local cable. Until then, please allow local pendek bastard here to showcase everybody's fave Westeros pendek bastard...
Sallah, you all. I no talking abt this pendek bastard...
This is the real pendek bastard...
 



EPIC SELECTION I: HOW TO TROLL LIKE A PRO


Tyrion Lannister: Tell me, when your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men at the throne room, did you give the orders?

Janos Slynt: I did, and I would again. The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty.

Tyrion Lannister: [teasing] The fool. He had no idea you were already bought.

Janos Slynt: [angrily] Are you drunk? I won't have my honor questioned by an imp!

Tyrion Lannister: I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.

[Janos jumps on his feet furiously]
Janos Slynt: If you think I'll stand here and take this from you, dwarf...

Tyrion Lannister: "Dwarf"? You should have stopped at "imp". And yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you like to take it from my friend here.

[Janos notices that Bronn stands near him]
Tyrion Lannister: I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war. And seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you lurking about.

Janos Slynt: Did you... my friends at the court will not allow this! The queen herself...

Tyrion Lannister: The queen regent. And you are a fool to believe she is your friend.

Janos Slynt: [hissing] We shall hear what Joffrey has to say about this!

Tyrion Lannister: No, we shall not.

[several guards of the City Watch enter]
Tyrion Lannister: There's a ship leaving for Eastwatch-by-the-Sea tonight. From there, I'm afraid it's rather long walk to Castle Black. I hope you enjoy the Wall. I found it surprisingly beautiful... in a brutal, horribly uncomfortable sort of way.

Bronn: The lads will escort you. The streets aren't safe at night, my Lord.

Janos Slynt: [angrily] These men are under my command!
[Bronn grins teasingly]

Janos Slynt: [to the guards] I command you to arrest this cutthroat!

Tyrion Lannister: His name is Bronn, and he is the new commander of the City Watch.

Bronn: [to the guards] Boys...
[the guards drag Janos Slynt outside, despite his loud protests]

PIC SELECTION II: G.R.R. TROLLOLOL SHIPPING TYRION x SANSA?

Tyrion Lannister: What kind of knight beats a helpless girl?

Meryn Trant: The kind who serves his king, Imp!

Bronn: Careful now. We don't want to get blood all over your pretty white cloak.

Tyrion Lannister: Someone get the girl something to cover herself with.
[Sandor Clegane gives Sansa his cloak]

Tyrion Lannister: [to Joffrey] She's to be your queen. Have you no regard for her honor?

Joffrey Baratheon: I'm punishing her.

Tyrion Lannister: For what crimes? She's not fighting her brother's battle, you halfwit.

Joffrey Baratheon: You can't talk to me like that. The king can do as he likes!

Tyrion Lannister: The mad king did as he like. Has your uncle Jaime ever told you what happened to him?

Meryn Trant: No one threatens his grace in the presence of the Kingsguard!

Tyrion Lannister: I'm not threatening the king, Ser, I'm educating my nephew.

[to Bronn]
Tyrion Lannister: Bronn, the next time the Ser Meryn speaks, kill him.

[Back to Ser Meryn]
Tyrion Lannister: THAT was a threat. See the difference?

EPIC SELECTION III: BULLSHITTING YOUR WAY TO LIFE

Lysa Arryn: You wish to confess your crimes?

Tyrion Lannister: Yes, My Lady. I do, My Lady.

Lysa Arryn: The Sky cells always break them. Speak, Imp. Meet your gods as an honest man.

Tyrion Lannister: Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10 I stuffed my uncle's boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...

Lysa Arryn: Silence!

Robin Arryn: What happened next?

Lysa Arryn: What do you think you're doing?

Tyrion Lannister: Confessing my crimes.

Lysa Arryn: Lord Tyrion, you are accused of hiring a man to slay my son Bran in his bed, and of conspiring to murder my sister's husband, Lord Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh, I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that.

P.S: I suddenly discovered that this is the best way to rehab a potential BPC. Who says A Song of Ice and Fire is out to troll the better good of society?



Monday, 8 April 2013

Just some random dialogue/quotes... (Guy Cody)

Just a word of note, guys. Any quotes/dialogue listed in my FB status/blog posts thus far should NOT be seen as legit unless I demand any to be so.

Further references (4 teh lulz!)


"To win my fair lady's hand and champion every honour... this is my life and ambition! Wait a holy sec, why give me that face, Catts?"

"Your father said this, your mother said that. Do I look like your father or mother? If no, it means you're bullshitting."

"I tried my hand in cleaning a stag carcass when I was fourteen. Uncle Parky was utterly flabbergasted because he never knew I was capable of that. And by that, I mean talking to some noble's daughter, not butchering some dead animal."

"Oops, that's the last round. Guess I lost the buff poker, guys. Should I just lose my boxers or maybe I should try pummelling everybody not from Teesside?"

"Isolation due to that buff poker fight? Well, at least I did something correct..."

"Okay, so let me get this clear. The other fella should be bullied because he's not one of us? Can you try defining what is 'us'? Racially, physically, sexually or intelligently?"

"Okay, okay! I know you're pissed, Uncle Parky! I know I shouldn't smash a bottle against a righteous guy twice my size, I know I shouldn't try saving a girl in the process. Happy?"

"So you think you're untouchable? Fine then. I don't mind touching you with this steel pole you're seeing in my hand."

"The preacher was boring the hell out of me, Uncle Parky! I could have tried forcing myself awake, but I failed! Does that mean I will fail in life?"

Dialogue I

Moggray Tonn: Idiot! Who told you to pummel anybody from the Tyneside?

Guy Cody: Well... the preacher last time round? Like two years ago?

Moggray Tonn: Don't fuck around with me, boy. You get me?

Guy Cody: But I like that preacher! He said every man should fight for what is truly right!

Moggray Tonn: And the lads from Tyneside are wrong?

Guy Cody: They insulted Uncle Parky as half-assed cripple doomed to die a cripple!

Moggray Tonn: Alright, that's it! Isolation for three weeks!

Guy Cody: Wait a holy sec, shouldn't it be three months?

Moggray Tonn: Clever lad. No wonder you look like a man.

Dialogue II

Alestrial Eliaden: Guy... can I ask you a question?

Guy Cody: Okay, just shoot.

Alestrial Eliaden: Have you ever liked somebody before?

Guy Cody: Like who?

Alestrial Eliaden: Never mind then. I'm glad that you have given me an unexpected answer.

Guy Cody: Unexpected answer? You don't seem angry...

Alestrial Eliaden: And why should I? I did say I'm glad, not angry. Thank you for giving me the best birthday gift ever.

Guy Cody: Fourteenth birthday?

Alestrial Eliaden: Sixteenth, not fourteenth. You're incorrigible, Guy Cody.

Final words

"Fuck all of this! Fuck the Quintet, fuck the Church! Why didn't they help my brother and his wife? All they left for me was a child! Their only child, their firstborn child, their surviving child! Do you think it's really amusing to see a reminder of my failure? My failure not as a soldier, but as a man? Let me tell you this, dearest Patron. One more sneering word and I will wrench your jaw apart. Nobody, and I mean nobody, should ever judge my nephew's worth!"
~ Garyth "Crazy Park" Parkins

Friday, 5 April 2013

Just some random dialogue/quotes... (Aeranath)

May or may not be included in the real deal.
In short, this is just the Word of Maker doing his lolz.


"I don't really mind scoundrels. It's either I ignore them or I kill them. It's that simple."

"If I say I dislike rape, will you believe me? I've seen many righteous dicks just to set the record straight..."

"For truth and justice? You don't seem that poorly weak to me."

"I don't care who you lot are or which broad got banged yesterday. I only care about one thing and that is I don't like you."

"I don't like to have friends, but when I have one, it means that my friend is a fellow bastard."

"No one ever bothered me for mercy whenever I swung Fragarach right into their mugs... actually, some of them might have tried before."

"I paid for a whore and you all tried hunting me down. Oops, my bad, I nearly forgot I killed somebody last night. So how's the wake?"

"Someone tried accusing me of stealing before, I wasn't amused. I told that bitch I never did such a thing, she ended up calling me names. I told her my real name out of proper respect, but that's only after I cut her throat wide open."

"You're indeed a laudable dad. You tried fighting for your daughter, she's still in danger... okay, I lied. I'm just itching to kill some shit."

"I've seen countless liars everywhere. Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones... not to mention male and female ones as well."

"You don't expect the rich calling themselves poor. That's why I don't expect the righteous calling themselves sinners."

Dialogue I

Aeranath: Tastes like water. Give me wine.

Kagetsu no Hyo'Ah: This is wine, you buffoon!

Aeranath: Still tastes like piss.

Dialogue II

Aeranath: There are way too many stupid people living in this world. Do you know why?

Alestrial Eliaden: No.

Aeranath: Anyone can ask them what is two plus two and they'll come up with a five.

Alestrial Eliaden: But what if they're to ask themselves this question?

Aeranath: Then they'll just come up with a six.

Final words

"He's a fragile child, I know it. But he'll be someone far better than me, far braver than me. Ziron, promise me... temper my only son with your wisdom and let him be, for my only hope for Aeranath is to be one truly capable of mocking liars and fools."
~ Rowein of Steel

Thursday, 4 April 2013

Literally the most intelligent bastard ever... (Part 2)

Summary: If you have the ability, it means you're able to produce the goods. If only life is truly that fair lol!

This time round, I'll touch on Chen Ping's two club stint. Technically speaking, he's indeed a one team man. Strictly speaking, he's not.

It's just like a player who has the ability to turn the game onto its feet. This lad tried playing for Team A, Team A rejected him b/c the rest of the dressing room hated him for whatever stupid reasons.

After that, player jumped ship to Team B. Team B has the pedigree, but Team B also has a stupid gaffer who can't do a piss about managing the dressing room and transfer dealings.

Then poor lad finally went for broke and tried advertising himself shamelessly to the last option: Team C. Team C has a capable gaffer, said gaffer appreciates a true blue talent. End of story...

[里中社,平为宰,分肉甚均。里父老曰:“善,陈孺子之为宰!”

平曰:“嗟乎,使平得宰天下,亦如此肉矣!”]
《汉书卷四十:张陈王周传》

[As a local leader, Ping was always be able to distribute the meat proportionately. Hence the locals praised him: "It is good fortune to have scholar Chen as a leader!"

Unto this, Ping replied: "Not just merely that, for if I can manage the country, it will be like how I distribute this piece of meat!"]
《Book of Han, Fortieth Scroll: Accounts of Zhang, Chen, Wang, Zhou》

Talent analysis: It's really quite simple, folks. Chen Ping understood the respective needs of the people. Just like how different people of different age, gender, and physique have different extent of basic needs, likewise different individuals required different portions of food.

I know this is a stupid explanation b/c I'm not good with words. Maybe we can try asking ourselves this question: How much nutrition does a child need?

If we start asking ourselves this question, it means we need to understand how much nutrition does an adult needs.

Back then, husbands had to provide for themselves AND their families, therefore distribution would become a major challenge. It's NOT about equal sharing, but rather it's all about understanding how much should be given.

And herein lies Chen Ping's talent: he didn't have to give a two shit's worth on any rules. It's far more of a commonsense to choose an equal distribution, but Chen Ping would have none of that. It's the end that matters the most, NOT the means, i.e. distribution=means, fulfilling the people's needs=end.

And to me, Chen Ping is indeed born to be a problem solver. Is he good in mathematics? It's pointless to ask this stupid question b/c we're talking about a person who refused to play by the conventional rules. Stats and figures are there for references, whatever rules acceptable shouldn't be worshipped. Chen Ping only cared about the most positive outcome, he only saw the rest as vital factors at best.

There has been an interesting debate ongoing for N ages. History has a hand in this type of funny debate and it's called Idealism VS Realism. In short, how do you define the two? Individual mileage varies, but I still do see Chen Ping as an idealist. That is why he actually harboured a lofty aspiration and it's called serving the country.

Interestingly enough, there's nothing much a decent country to start with. It's either the First Emperor was still alive and Chen Ping understood that once a despot, forever a despot. Or if it's the Second Emperor, then we should understand why the Qin dynasty collapsed oh-so spectacularly.

Political implosion=Greatest WMD ever known to man.
(Foinikas deserves a shout out here, Foin is actually my online Greek friend)



Nobody loves me!!!!!

[陈涉起王,使周市略地,立魏咎为魏王,与秦军相攻于临济。平已前谢兄伯,从少年往事魏王咎,为太仆。说魏王,王不听。人或谗之,平亡去。

项羽略地至河上,平往归之,从入破秦,赐爵卿。项羽之东王彭城也,汉王还定三秦而东。殷王反楚,项羽乃以平为信武君,将魏王客在楚者往击,殷降而还。项王使项悍拜平为都尉,赐金二十溢。居无何,汉攻下殷。项王怒,将诛定殷者。平惧诛,乃封其金与印,使使归项王,而平身间行杖剑亡。度河,船人见其美丈夫,独行,疑其亡将,要下当有宝器金玉,目之,欲杀平。平心恐,乃解衣裸而佐刺船。船人知其无有,乃止。]
《汉书卷四十:张陈王周传》

[Upon Chen She declaring himself as a King, he ordered Zhou Shi to raid the lands while appointing Wei Jiu
as the King of Wei, hence creating a military engagement against the Qin army at Linji. Ping had already bade farewell to his brother Bo by then, where he followed the young men in pledging his service to Wei Jiu. As the Imperial Servant, he attempted giving counsel to the Wei King unto no avail. In the end, he was forced to flee due to people slandering him.

When Xiang Yu attacked the territories unto the upper boundary of the River, Ping went to him. In reward for his opportunistic assault against Qin resulting in victory, he was granted the rank of a Duke. Xiang Yu's capital city, Peng, was towards the east. As the King of Han travelled east after defeating the three generals of Qin, the King of Yin rebelled. Xiang Yu appointed Ping as the Lord of Xingwu. Ping managed to successfully attack the Wei soldiers staying in the lands of Chu. Hence, the King of Yin surrendered as a result. Thus, Chen Ping was promoted to the title of Grand Commander plus an excessive reward of gold. Within a short period in office, the Han forces managed to conquer Yin. The King of Xiang (i.e. Xiang Yu) was angered and decided to execute the King of Yin. Fearing implications, Ping locked away his gold and office seal while sending an envoy to the King of Xiang as a gesture of peace. At the same time, Ping ordered his followers exact physical punishment onto him. As he crossed the river, the boatman suspected him to be a deserting general as he was alone and good looking. Demanding riches, he threatened to kill Ping should he disobey. Ping was terrified and stripped off his clothes. after which he helped out in manning the boat. Upon knowing Ping had nothing valuable with him, the boatman finally relented.]
《Book of Han, Fortieth Scroll: Accounts of Zhang, Chen, Wang, Zhou》

Talent analysis: Erm... is calling a bluff counted? That's what he did on the boatman. However, this was a calculated bluff. Firstly, he understood Xiang Yu's character. Xiang Yu was someone easy to anger and easy to condone his men's wrongdoings. By that time, Xiang Yu had already created a notoriety as a war despot. In short, the people were starting to see him as the First Chu Emperor. Chen Ping wasn't an idiot, he knew what Xiang Yu has done to the city of Xianyang, i.e. the only difference between getting killed or captured as a civilian is down to whether you're a guy or a girl. In short, the bluff was actually a well thought out scheme. By locking away his office seal and riches, he's free from getting robbed. By ordering his men to beat him up via the feudal rotan system, i.e. caning your kar-cheng with a wooden rotan (Note: if you dunno what is a rotan, this is a rotan...).

In short, I pokkai and I dio-pok=what you see is what you get...

As for the King of Wei, i.e. Wei Jiu, he's a moron. I don't know wtf he was smoking back then, but if you can't even take a true blue talent seriously, then you don't deserve any respect, i.e. respect others first, then you will gain respect. Imperial Servant? LOL please lah! You give people grand title, of course you must give them grand duties what! It's just like telling CR7 that he can earn 1 million bucks per week w/o doing a shit on the pitch. Guys, it's called respecting a professional. And Chen Ping (plus CR7 for that matter) IS a professional.

For Xiang Yu's case, he treated Chen Ping better. However, this Chu bastard was quick to anger and quick to kill your father, mother and brother if you pissed him off. If you have a pretty sister though...

Now one interesting part on Chen Ping's military ability is bidding his time. The correct time to strike. The nature of assault is always that of a shock nature. It's NOT meant to destroy, but to disrupt.

In short...
Weapon of Mass Disruption=Weapon of Mutual Destruction

The key in such a tactic? Take a good wide eyed look at the first excerpt and my half-assed analysis. This is even crazier than winning any Tougeki SBO with Iron Tager for BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger, i.e. you play Tager=your Tager wins every round, PERFECT. Yes, we're talking about an accurate allocation of troops. And terrain warfare will always be a fun playground for war.

Another interesting fact: the King of Wei in the second part wasn't the same Wei Jiu. Rather, it's his brother Wei Bao (魏豹)...

[汉王还定三秦,渡临晋,魏王豹以国属焉,遂从击楚于彭城。]
《史记卷九十,第三十:魏豹彭越列传》

[As the King of Han defeated the three Qin generals and proceeded to cross Linjin], the King of Wei, Bao, proclaimed independence, and attacked Chu via Peng.]
《The Historical Annals, Ninetieth Scroll, Chapter Thirty: Accounts of Wei Bao, Peng Yue》

In short, the King of Yin's rebellion was down to Wei Bao declaring "all your base are belong to us LOL!"

In short, kill the terrorist and let's see the London Bridge Falling Down (albeit it has to be noted that Wei Bao ended up defecting to Liu Bang instead).

Remember the verse below?

[殷王反楚,项羽乃以平为信武君,将魏王客在楚者往击,殷降而还。]

[Ping managed to successfully attack the Wei soldiers staying in the lands of Chu. Hence, the King of Yin surrendered as a result.]

To be continued...
Note to self: Have to stop here. No choice, now have to learn self-discipline liao...

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Literally the most intelligent bastard ever...

Correction note: Tweaked some stuff due to a horrendous cock up in terms of Qin Shi Huang's ban-hammer.

Note: This will be the greatest history challenge being faced by yours truly. The entire Book of Han (汉书) do seem to have a different language system compared to the Records of Three Kingdoms (三国志), thus this will be an arduous journey of sorts.

Foreword: There's a current MediaCorp 8 drama entitled Break Free. Have to admit this to be a decently good stuff even though keeping track is quite dicey, read: lack of time management. But this is not the subject of the topic. Rather, if you think the 4 blokes in question are non-decent folks, then you're a retard. You wanna see a true blue SOB? Once a jailbird, not really forever a jailbird. But once an intelligent bastard, a bastard for life...

Ng Boon Gay acquitted?
Peter Lim?
Tey Tsun Hang?
CPIB boleh or not?
CHC sure kenna or not?

本人不受理,报歉
本人倒知何者为陈平
此人别名乃:
“天下第一奸”
奸人一等,别无老二
奸的厉害,可为忠臣
秦桧,您以为自己很行吗?
人家姓陈的不必花十二句话就可让你没老二。。。

P.S: 宋高宗,小儿黄D 一个。天皇老子的鸟样也没法子像姓陈的。。。

Brief intro:

Problem 1: The Hungry Game

[陈平,阳武户牖乡人也。少时家贫,好读书,治黄帝、老子之术。有田三十亩,与兄伯居。伯常耕田,纵平使游学。平为人长大美色,人或谓平:“贫何食而肥若是?”

其嫂疾平之不亲家生产,曰:“亦食糠耳。有叔如此,不如无有!”

伯闻之,逐其妇弃之。]
《汉书卷四十:张陈王周传》

[Chen Ping, a native of Huyou town, Yangwu county. Living a life of poverty during his youth, he was nevertheless a studious person while dabbling in the arts of Huang Di and Lao Zi. Possessing a field spanning thirty mu, he lived with his brother Bo.

Bo was a farmer, yet he allowed Ping the freedom to learn. Ping was tall and handsome, hence the folks
questioned Ping: "Why do you look well fed despite being poor?"

His sister-in-law loathed him as a wastrel, hence saying: "Indeed a useless person. To have such a brother-in-law is no different from having none at all!"

Upon subsequent knowledge of his wife's words, Bo divorced her.]
《Book of Han, Fortieth Scroll: Accounts of Zhang, Chen, Wang, Zhou》 

Problem: Actually, poor bastard didn't have any problem. It's just that he looked too handsome and people started asking questions. Okay, not so stupid questions anyway due to the obvious. Apparently, Ban Gu [斑固], i.e. the historian writing the Book of Han, was hiding something. You don't get to live a poor life while looking like a towkay-kia, okay?

A/N: Altho this lobo blogger here is already 30 yrs old despite ppl saying I only look like 20+... -_-

But still, it seems that Chen Ping was indeed an intelligent bugger. If you're poor, you're expected to live a farmer's life, NOT studying random stuff. Because people will laugh at you, calling you a stupid dreamer. Feudal China was truly an anal society back then. But then again, no one has ever said feudal history in every country/culture was non-anal in nature. Yes, guys. Chen Ping was indeed living out a gay life b/c he's indeed one hell of a talented bastard unlike this local talented bastard wannabe here.


Problem 2: Me NGSB=Me have rich GF=Me Gusta!


[及平长,可取妇,富人莫与者,贫者平亦愧之。久之,户牖富人张负有女孙,五嫁夫辄死,人莫敢取,平欲得之。邑中有大丧,平家贫侍丧,以先往后罢为助。张负既见之丧所,独视伟平,平亦以故后去。负随平至其家,家乃负郭穷巷,以席为门,然门外多长者车辙。张负归,谓其子仲曰:“吾欲以女孙予陈平。”

仲曰:“平贫不事事,一县中尽笑其所为,独奈何予之女?”

负曰:“固有美如陈平长贫者乎?”

卒与女。为平贫,乃假贷币以聘,予酒肉之资以内妇。负戒其孙曰:“毋以贫故,事人不谨。事兄伯如事乃父,事嫂如事乃母。”

平既取张氏女,资用益饶,游道日广。]
《汉书卷四十:张陈王周传》

[Upon adulthood, Ping was ready to find a wife. However, the rich never wanted him whilst the poor felt inadequate to him. As time passed, there was a rich man, Zhang Fu. He had a grand-daughter who was married five times, yet all her five husbands died. Hence no man dared to take her. Ping on the other hand, desired her. Back then, there was a major funeral at the city. Ping chose to take the risk by attending the wake in spite of his own poverty, being the first to attend and the last to leave. Thus Zhang Fu only saw Ping upon arrival. As he followed Ping back to his home, he witnessed only a desolate residence with a mat acting as doorway. Yet, there were many carriage tracks belonging to those of repute.

Zhang Fu told his son upon return: "I now intend to marry my grand-daughter off to Chen Ping."

His son then said: "Ping is merely an ordinary poor man ridiculed by the masses! Why must my daughter marry him?"

Fu replied back: "Have you ever seen a poor man of fair bearing like Chen Ping?"

Thus, Ping was promptly married to the girl. Ping was still poor during that time, hence he chose to use false currency as dowry while lavishing wine and meat upon his wife. Fu instructed his grandsons: "Do not be contemptuous just because of other's poverty. Treat his brother akin to a son to his father and respect his brother's wife like a son to his mother."

Due to marriage, Chen Ping became increasingly rich as he managed to expand his horizons via constant travels.]
《Book of Han, Fortieth Scroll: Accounts of Zhang, Chen, Wang, Zhou》

Problem: Was Chen Ping being an opportunistic bastard or was he truly besotted with a poor rich pretty girl? Nobody knows. But still, Chen Ping was indeed sly enough. Sly enough not to pull a massive cotton wool over his future doubled-confirmed grand-dad-in-law, but rather shrewd enough to understand Zhang Grand Sr was no idiot. People derided Chen Ping due to a blatant contrast in appearances (or depending on the individual, was... well unworthy lol!).

But yet, why was it that Chen Ping could invite people of higher standing? The rich looked down on him and therein lies the deceptive play in words. When we say people of high repute, we tend to think "oh, that rich fella living somewhere in Bukit Timah ah! The private housing there super posh one leh!"

Bzt, wrong. The feudal Chinese didn't believe in that kind of stuff. This was something far more accustomed to Western feudalism, but NOT on how the Chinese think back then. The Chinese had always been a people utterly obsessed with traditional learning/philosophy. Just like how the Greeks tend to measure their own status individually via scholarly learning/philosophy. The Greeks could talk high and mighty about the meaning of life, the Chinese just preferred talking personal values and morals. In fact, the legalism system (法家制度) implemented by the Qin dynasty was quite a bit similar to the current system we're all seeing now (hello, all you bodoh peh kambing think only SG got death sentence is it?)

So what am I trying to say? When I say people of higher standing, it means people of higher learning. Even though every other schools of thought were banned brutally, it's very likely that by that time, Qin Shi Huang had already passed away/incapacitated (Read: do you think the ban-hammer would be nerfed if he's still around and perfectly healthy?).

In short, these were the people who practicing other schools of thought where in fact everything could have been easily banned, burned, and buried alive (no, it's not a joke. Seriously, I kid you all not).

Case in point: Chen Ping was pretty much interested in the studies of Lao Zi. In short, you can easily call him a Taoist hippie.
Correction: Apparently, people of higher learning in this aspect were those truly learned people, not those belonging to the other schools of learning. In short, whatever practical usage applicable beyond Legalism was still legit. Simply put, I've screwed up horribly. -_-

But no matter what, Zhang Fu wasn't an idiot as I've said earlier. Remember that major wake? If Chen Ping wasn't hell bent in marrying the lucky widow, he wouldn't pull out all stops.

Firstly and foremost, by arriving first and leaving last, the intent was very clear: to get Zhang Fu's attention. He knew what kind of character was Zhang Fu and that's why he could afford to throw the proverbial die. 

This is NOT your everyday 4-D/Toto/IR punt. Chen Ping was very sure he would score his big break so as to speak. In short, if you understand what a person is like, you can be very sure that playing along the flow will be extremely easy. It's just like how husband and wife have to get along with each other. Either husband can understand his wife and the wife knowing her husband, or you can be very sure divorce will be coming very soon.

Zhang Fu knew Chen Ping's status, but he could also accept the fact that he looks far more of a towkay-kia-been rather than the standard pokkai-been.

In fact, if not for whatever subtly implied via Chen Ping's intelligent choice of friends, do you think he would be that well fed? Hello! You think he spend millions of dollars trying to dig a fountain of youth+smart, ah?

Oh, and he's also a good husband as well despite a dubious repute, I can give him that. In short, using fake currency will get you jailed any/everywhere, not just here in SG mind you. To Zhang Fu, it's legit b/c he knew Chen Ping was being honest with him. Chen Ping could have easily tried weaseling himself out via lying, cheating, and stealing, but he had nothing to hide b/c he's a real gentleman truly worthy of a lady's hand. Suay-siao girl, so what? Still got more than enough to provide for her what! You think this type of kind and intelligent husband so easy to find meh?

When in doubt, can go hunt Baidu. No j/k here.
To be continued...

Boliao-Trollolol note:
If you all can try envisioning any Japanese/Korean gal being the unknown lucky girl, who will be your pick? Remember guys, this is not me trolling Nippon due to the Nihon-jin's batshit crazy brand of creativity. Rather, I'm waiting to see whether MOGEF will have a reaction lol! Me vs the Yeoseongbu? Well, a boliao bastard must learn to have fun what! If not I sure got kosong life one leh! :P