Something about this bloggie

Ok, I admit that I've failed somewhere before. But anyway welcome. Just a brief intro on what you should expect here:
1. Football. Not gonna post much of that any soon since season is over. :S
2. Anime, Games, etc. Just abt anything conceivable under the Japanese radar barring anything and everything Rule 34. Now that's illegal. Period. -.-;
3. Music. Everything to do with it is listed under the tab.
5. Unacceptable humour: Anything and everything is fair game here. As long as I don't get rounded up by the ISA. -.-'

The Known World=Fantasy world building in process. I: Used to be glossary, now devoted to random rambling; II: Character Concepts; III: Lore.
7. der Wolf=my Fictionpress account under the moniker Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu. A Ranger's Tale is hosted under this page. :)
8. New section now upped. Maybe I should also gun for upping A Ranger's Tale here since I do have this funny feeling that traffic coming to here is way more than whatever I'll get in FP.

Statement of intent: Everything said here is a figment of personal opinion, be it me or anybody commenting. I try to be responsible, but my parents=/=parents of the world.

@Druid of Luhn: Crap. Should have remembered far earlier to give you the credit for your CSS text box code. :(

A/N: But sadly, it seems that your CSS text box code has now been halved efficiency wise. :(

That most important note I should have added: Any images posted in this blog are NOT my own stuff. I got them from Google image search, I don't earn any shit by being a thief and liar. Those responsible for the pictures, rest assured that you all are great artists in your own regards. Sadly, we all know what limited space means in terms of posting.

Latest Note: Changed alignment for my page widgets due to my worry that I can't centre align the thing.

Note on A Ranger's Tale: In case any complaining fella wants to have a legal case with me, let this be known that A Ranger's Tale is rated M by default. I've upped the swearing and somewhat a bit on the dark/gritty factor. You all have been warned, let no little boy and girl enter the forbidden realm.

Latest on ART: A Ranger's Tale now starting to kick back in gear. But I really hate the insanely fluctuating climate here in S'pore.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing. Vid below is yet another ideal OP for A Ranger's Tale.

Monday, 28 October 2013

A Voyage's Prologue

Sail the seas and take their gold, the pirates say.
Sailed the seas, their gold are ours and their finest wenches chaste gladly whored, sang the knaves.
Man the ships and take their heads, the soldiers say.
Manned the ships, their heads taken and our honour rightfully won, prevailed the righteous way.
~Scoundrels and Men~
Author unknown
A Ranger's Tale
“Oh don’t give that look!” laughed a youth around my age, his face somehow reminding me of my Gaffer.
“Look, Emma…”
“…clearly loves you. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
Both men smile in spite of whatever funny circumstances buggering them, well that’s me and Catts alright. Then again, the other bloke looks nothing like my best buddy. First, he’s quite obviously some noble. Second, Catts is a fiery redhead while that fellow’s a brunette.
Wait a holy sec, am I talking about gay Lukas?
As I ask myself this retarded question, a strong gale buffered my face. I can feel the wind entering my gaping mouth, I can feel my body forced backwards. Yet, I still keep my eyes open, everything before me gone in a jiffy. I think Southgate once told a joke about kids disappearing in a puff of smoke, which was of course bollocks.
Then I hear her sing a haunting song, something about love. I don’t know her, but it seems that she knows me. At least she looked at me with a funny stare. With a finger on her lips, everything goes black. Way to go, Guy Cody. Your life is definitely synonymous with shit outta luck…
Searing pain assailed Guy’s muscular frame as his spine suddenly stiffened, cold sweat coating his burning torso. He could not recall what the girl look like nor the song she sing, only vaguest impression reminding him of his lady fair remains true.
Recalling why he was at Teesside in the first place, boiling impulse forced his mind onward. Alas for the same pain, but more severe, commanding him to bend his knee.
“Recovered your senses but not the rest, I see.”
Trying to straighten up his semi-crumpled form before the brazen speaker he knew so well now, the young lion’s sapphire orbs ended up encountering a woman’s naked breasts.
Fuck you, bitch.
Attempts in retaliating against any rising lust merely made things equally bad, if not worse. Guy Cody had that white haired bitch to thank especially when it comes to a pair of ripe tempting fruits dangled before him. Thankfully Moggray Tonn’s words struck a soothing blow to alleviate his galloping heart, a resolve named fire and steel sustaining his fragile fortitude.
“Remember why you lads are here! Either live as men or get brayed like little boys!”
Griping against a topless helper was an arduous chore, fighting back his passionate loins an excruciating task. He loathed Lara von Dirkwind with a fervour, her presence reminding him of a certain somebody. Granted the Half-Elf was a pirate by profession, yet…
A seafaring Ranger? Shit feels so real.
An innocuous hand then brushed across his crotch, the young lion uttered a primal growl. Seductive Lara was promptly shoved away, voluptuous breasts acting as cushion. Picking up her crimson corset, the lady brigand entertained erotic fantasies pertaining to the blushing boy in front of her. She had seen many men before this Kalaran lad, no one ever accused her for being a lady saint. Even saints need to get laid, noted the half-blood rogue cynically.
“You’re in pain,” smirked the redhead as she finally fixed her top back, “Figure it’ll take you two cycles or more to start moving freely though.”
“Blood flare?” gasped Karen Tenias, her countenance unbecoming of nobility status, “Good healer, surely…”
“…the Mass Pain was a matter of five years ago,” smiled the kindly physician, “Milady, the world is all about unpredictable chaos, please do not assume unless proven. Now if all you kind ladies excuse, I’m off to another call.”
“Wait a sec there, good bloke. May I know what call are you speaking of?”
None had taken heed on when Lara von Dirkwind appeared at the staircase, deathly silence making itself at home. Below the entire lot, Bigan managed to spark off a mini-brawl. Or at least assumed so. The attractive sellsword was never an honourable one to begin with, her abrupt presence nonetheless shocking everyone momentarily.
“Of course another patient’s call!” huffed the goateed man, “Now if you excuse me…”
“Good bloke!” hollered Lara von Dirkwind as the physician froze in his tracks, a mischievous grin greeting his wide eyed gaze.
“Your purse.”
Quite obviously enjoying himself, the gold Edrake Stroff received was more than suffice to last an entire lifetime. He tried healing others out of altruism, that was many years ago where an impressionable youth had yet to cherish the lure of glitter and gems. Four decades passed and he’s finally struck a goldmine. Of course there wasn’t any mistake in his diagnosis. After all, it wasn’t his fault to see the fair jewel of House Tenias jumping to conclusions. Indeed he never said anything on the blood flare nor any assurance that the Mass Pain has made an unwanted return.
Unsteady gait accompanying his unabated lust, the lecherous healer stumbled just in front of a finely crafted bed. Giggling uncontrollably, he knew the old hen had promised him the best wench Desirable Love had on offer. Getting his feet up while staggering could be a chore for any other man, but not this one despite reaching near sixty five winters. Grabbing the red velvety bedding, his scrawny hands yanked the cover off.
Only to reveal a Half-Elf fully bared and teasing her quarry with a come-hither gesture.
If Edrake had tried mustering any reaction, said response froze itself alive. His was not a visage of pleasant surprise, but contorted features of unwanted shock. He expected that doe eyed brunette no older than fifteen, not this familiar sight. Before a voice calling for help could be uttered, the deadly redhead vanished abruptly. Confusion lasting only for one split second, searing pain promptly branded its mark in his throat. Barely finding himself alive, the hapless Human knew he was nevertheless doomed. Body numb towards naked breasts pressing tight, a slender hand slithered upwards against his chest.
“Remember your purse? It isn’t yours, good bloke. The leather was smooth and soft… just like Granad’s little girl. Why not I give you a wide bloody smile”
Whispered mockery sounding her victim’s knell, the pirate queen deftly cut open Edrake Stroff’s throat. Such was her technique with the dirk, a mere flick of the wrist fulfilled swiftly that final promise most macabre. Surely ‘tis better to depart with a smile rather than wearing fear, mused a sardonic killer blinked away.
“Eh, this doesn’t look good,” drawled Lars before a crackling campfire, “One hour after dusk and we got crows making noise.”
“We’re in a forest,” said Arondight as he chewed off a piece of pheasant roasted on a spit, “Makes a bit of sense at least.”
“A bit of sense?” noted the attractive youth, his tone notably sardonic, “We’re all used to killing people, both good and bad.”
“Which means someone just died,” replied the hulking man.
“You forgot to add ‘with plenty of blood’, good Ser.”
“Oi! So where’re your balls? Gone and fed to the goats?”
The young boy could only afford trembling before this murdering maniac towering over him, callous taunts launched akin to a storm of swords dissecting his tattered soul. He tried screaming for help, nobody bothered lifting a finger. Little wonder they opted not to, for he’s a fugitive on the run. Due to no fault from his own, he got implicated and abducted as a result. So long for being an accidental witness to some botched kidnapping attempt, at least his captors treated him better than some abusive father and timid mother. Alas for the bounty set, that dead girl was the only daughter belonging to some major House. Never mind her manner of death was down to accidental suffocation, Tiries saw first-hand the mockery behind his violent father’s words.
“Yer dun pay da price wif’out doin’ da job!”
This is a cruel joke… fuck that drunken dad of mine, whispered a petrified Tiries. Indeed his executioner looked every part the scoundrel, he spared no qualms hammering home the point. Then it all happened slowly. A blade crackling blue held in reverse grip, the dark killer casually casting his weapon tip down. Flaring myriad of blue and red burning away his life, the last thing ever heard was a seeming sneer and his new friends already brutally killed.
Greeted by the high noon sun, Salt Harbour was now a bustling sight. Noisy merchants and equally noisy vendors thronged the wide swathing path along the coastal port, law and order took secondary priority to profits waiting to be made. This was Teesside’s only major place of commerce, Cinha traders unloading their exotic wares were far more commonly sighted than otherwise rumoured. Segregating themselves from the rest were Sudhlit merchants boasting huge followings of attractive servants male and female, but mostly the latter. The locals had no chance against these foreigners, they could only choose whatever scraps left. A little wonder why many a leer was cast towards lasses and maids, be they from the Furthest East or arid Southlands.
“What?” gaped Southgate Garrat, “You fucking mad, boy? This is House Nances we’re talking about!”
“Guess hanging around with certain people tends to mess with your brain,” answered Guy Cody nonchalantly, his sapphire gaze drinking in the sight of sea and sky.
“I hope this isn’t a compliment, laddie buck,” sighed the stocky soldier, his fingers caressing the sword that was Gemma’s final gift, “This is gonna be the last we’ll see from Salt Harbour for at least a few weeks or even months.”
“Only for a while,” quipped a beaming Joenne, “As the future First Poultress…”
“…I can give you my word,” clucked Lara’s tongue, “So make sure don’t get yourself armed unless you want some arms groping your tits and ass.”
“Wha… wha… what are you hinting about?” stammered the outraged brunette, “I demand you to declare everything!”
“Declare everything or just my words?” smiled the smug Half-Elf, “I don’t mind the latter, but I prefer the former.”
Then Joenne found herself groped, Lara’s sudden appearance behind forcing the young noble lady into absolute shock. Her lacking cleavage had been the brunt of mocking japes, she was always called Cruax’s little boy-girl. In a bid to exact petty revenge, she shorn off her long straight hair and wavy curls reaching only till shoulder height still remains.
“I don’t mind exploring a little girl’s chest,” whispered Lara von Dirkwind, “If you’re old enough, you’re good enough.”
“Oh shit, there goes the weasel lass,” whistled Bigan as he passed along, “No offence, Stonegate, but that’s how I see her temperament.”
“You don’t have to say sorry, Big Gun,” retorted Southgate wryly, “We’ve seen it all within the past couple of days to be frank.”
“Yeah…” sighed the lecherous Goblin, a leer directed to the cloudless skies, “If only fairest Karen can offer me her sweetest ass…”
Uttering nary a word, Guy Cody strode to the fore. If Lara possessed any idea on what the young lion is going to do next, she made no expression of it.
“Hey, Bigan the Flare!”
No sooner Bigan turned around to face Guy, the Kalaran lad sent his regards via an arcing slap. Unable to control herself, Joenne burst out laughing in spite of Lara’s slender arms staying wrapped around her. Not so amazingly, this sudden act earned a thumbs up gesture from a smirking Southgate. Soaring seagulls continued their course, their screeching call resembling the audience’s mirth.
“Wait, so you’re telling us to follow someone only years older?” exclaimed Jase Steele, only to have Moggray’s scarred visage silencing him via a frown, “Most honoured Northern Lion, I find this interesting.”
“You don’t have to play sarcastic,” snorted the veteran, “I’ve been through more than enough to know how this game is played.”
Resounding rage making its impact known, Konnor Riples tried his utmost best in holding his ginger counterpart back. Time halted by simmering tension, Konnor murmured his thanks to the Holy Quintet upon seeing Jase’s body language. This was a show of reluctance, not of peace. But at least his liege and House Steele managed to avoid potential scandals from erupting.
Milord, you’re indeed right about this Northern Lion. Sparking a fight in a bustling brothel will only invoke unwanted attention unto Lord Brynn. To think someone capable of choosing a battlefield others cannot win actually used to be some militia head.
Konnor might have seen little, but five years of servitude alongside Louthes Eliaden enabled him to hear many and discern equally much. And this includes inept butterflies who didn’t know a shit about war, mused the cynical boy. Unable to withstand the unspoken standoff, the young Home Guard could only shift his attention somewhere else. He had heard of whores and bitches, but this was the first time culture shock bared itself before personal unease.
Many look not so pretty, but I can see some really attractive… damn you Konnor! You better try looking at something else!
Relief coming in the form of a giant ticking clock, the young raven haired lad could finally rest his ever racing heart. Casting a glowering glance unbeknownst to his engrossed counterpart, Jase snapped a similar glare towards a casual Moggray Tonn sipping his tea. Never a fool, the young scion would never forgive what his intended senior had done.
Lady Karen will travel with Lara’s girls. I can’t trust the male majority in her band, that’s the best I can do.
Is this sandy blond taking for him as a cretin, that he who is blessed with higher learning shouldn’t be privy to details most vital? House Steele won’t be amused, swore Jase under his breath. Either a Fool or Peerless Steel, ‘tis House Steele’s motto. Brynn was truly a harsh father, but some shameless liar he is not. That’s why he will always be my father and I his son, assured the ginger fighter to himself.
“A falcon flew by just this morning,” Moggray stood up as he changed the subject suddenly, his athletic frame casting a very large shadow indeed, “Some asshole managed to tell me where we can find sufficient funds for this batshit crazy voyage.”
Both Jase and Konnor stayed their calm this time round, Moggray smiled in spite of potential predicaments to come. Then again, certain things are best left uncovered.
“Said asshole wasn’t fibbing, we actually got ourselves quite a haul.”
“Ill-gotten gains,” dismissed Jase derisively.
“Lawful bounty,” corrected the invigorated lion, “I don’t know who the jackass is, but he’s surely some sucker.”
“So when will the bounty come? I mean whatever supplies bought,” questioned Konnor. If Jase’s dirty look was that of disapproval, Moggray merely showed his approval via a brief nod.
“Already here!” chimed a shrilly voice, “Guns, powder, food, and rum! A pity someone forgot the bitches.”
“You look wet,” mused Moggray, “Did you happen to go swimming beyond the port?”
“Shut the fuck up,” an annoyed Bigan gritted his yellow teeth, knowledge on what “swimming beyond the port” means not lost on his green bald skull,  “I’d cough up my entire fortune just to see your little cub swimming naked with that little weasel girl.”
“Why is a greenie here?” Konnor blurted in excitement, “I mean…
“…our technology rock, is that your truest thought?” Bigan flashed a toothy grin, Konnor found the entire transition from anger to joy outright comedic.
“Erm, this is not…”
“Don’t you fret over the dangers, m’lad! Let us all fired ourselves up like the most spectacular fireworks!” whooped Bigan.
“Dumb pose and gesture…” muttered Jase darkly.
I’ve done what I could, the rest is up to you. If you fail to save that little girl, at least let me have a go at her.
~Die Scharfrichter
Guy Cody did not know the actual truth behind this addressee’s name, he was however able to formulate a portrait in his heart. That of an executioner standing alone, his bloodied hands bereft of mercy. As he stared impassively at the cryptic message written on a parchment, images from the past rained a deluge over him.
There’s no way we can return back when we’re young. Not today or ever, Alestrial. At least Lukas was more intelligent than me when he said only monsters will remain the same. Shit, why did I have to meet that bastard?
The wind blew gently, parchment in hand billowed along. The breeze then morphed into a violent gale, Guy Cody at least chose to let go. Departed from his fingers, the parchment’s flight became akin to some stray arrow guided by a wild force unseen. Then a silvery streak zipped across the turbulent air, its unerring course cutting true and pinned the parchment against a wooden crate.
“A good day to fight, don’t you agree, lion of Teesside?”
Guy Cody glanced to the left, only to sense Lara von Dirkwind’s presence at his right. Vicious dirk meeting Gae Buidhe's shaft, the young lion managed to repel his opponent with a sidestep and fiercest flick from the Golden Barb of Mortality. The Half-Elven redhead, however, was already beyond reach, her figure lithe and nubile perched on top of the nearest wall. The Human lad wasn’t blind, he could discern this attractive sellsword to be so much more than some mere harlot.
“Your boots got high heels,” there was no complacency hidden in Guy’s tone.
“So you’ve realised,” smiled Lara naughtily, her descent light but steady, “Many horny scoundrels failed to understand what delicate balance is.”
Without mouthing a single word, Guy walked past his future ally and potential adversary, sapphire orbs fixated in front. Caressing her covered eye, Lara had already seen through Guy Cody’s worth. This is a boy who will be a man, a soldier destined to lead. It does not matter whether it’ll be via the frontline or deployment from behind. Many men came and went, none impressed her like her newest prey.
Cruax Nances won’t be pleased to spot only Lady Tenias and not his dearest daughter. Everybody hates that Noble Rat and that includes Granad’s fellow nobles. Seemingly reckless, yet so well-calculated. ‘Tis a strategy meant not to force any party’s hand, but staying them put.
Background notes
Blood flare: A potentially fatal disease where survival is often left to chance. Symptoms include high fever and intensive pain felt at the ribcage and skull. Incubation period is still something the Physicians’ Academia (i.e. the only official guild for physicians) has yet to solve, but the acceptable consensus is that either the victim will die within three days or declared fine after surviving this short period of suffering.
Mass Pain: A blood flare epidemic breaking out during NE 236. Rumoured to be a sabotaging act staged by the Slarvs (Slarveans), the Mass Pain altogether claimed one tenth of the Kalaran Empire, mostly the smallborne.
First Poultress: A title reserved for the best female physician in the Empire. Female counterpart to the First Poulter. Note that poulters/poultresses are quintessentially physicians either of noble birth or serving the nobility.
Swimming beyond the port: An idiom referring to any embarrassing circumstances. Originated from the smallborne’s tendency to dive naked in the sea whenever intoxicated by drink or drugs. Needless to say, survival rate under such a situation is basically nil.
A/N: Die Scharfrichter means The Executioner in German.