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Ok, I admit that I've failed somewhere before. But anyway welcome. Just a brief intro on what you should expect here:
1. Football. Not gonna post much of that any soon since season is over. :S
2. Anime, Games, etc. Just abt anything conceivable under the Japanese radar barring anything and everything Rule 34. Now that's illegal. Period. -.-;
3. Music. Everything to do with it is listed under the tab.
5. Unacceptable humour: Anything and everything is fair game here. As long as I don't get rounded up by the ISA. -.-'

6.
The Known World=Fantasy world building in process. I: Used to be glossary, now devoted to random rambling; II: Character Concepts; III: Lore.
7. der Wolf=my Fictionpress account under the moniker Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu. A Ranger's Tale is hosted under this page. :)
8. New section now upped. Maybe I should also gun for upping A Ranger's Tale here since I do have this funny feeling that traffic coming to here is way more than whatever I'll get in FP.

Statement of intent: Everything said here is a figment of personal opinion, be it me or anybody commenting. I try to be responsible, but my parents=/=parents of the world.

@Druid of Luhn: Crap. Should have remembered far earlier to give you the credit for your CSS text box code. :(

A/N: But sadly, it seems that your CSS text box code has now been halved efficiency wise. :(

That most important note I should have added: Any images posted in this blog are NOT my own stuff. I got them from Google image search, I don't earn any shit by being a thief and liar. Those responsible for the pictures, rest assured that you all are great artists in your own regards. Sadly, we all know what limited space means in terms of posting.

Latest Note: Changed alignment for my page widgets due to my worry that I can't centre align the thing.

Note on A Ranger's Tale: In case any complaining fella wants to have a legal case with me, let this be known that A Ranger's Tale is rated M by default. I've upped the swearing and somewhat a bit on the dark/gritty factor. You all have been warned, let no little boy and girl enter the forbidden realm.

Latest on ART: A Ranger's Tale now starting to kick back in gear. But I really hate the insanely fluctuating climate here in S'pore.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing. Vid below is yet another ideal OP for A Ranger's Tale.

Monday, 23 June 2014

Tonight's Show @FBC: Road to the Final Victory 2014 [2]

??: Welcome back to tonight's show. I believe you all have enjoyed your ride in Brazil 2014 thus far, be it via the screen or in literal terms. I am your host for the night, Kim Dan. Before we get into tonight's main course, let us take a brief look at the happenings on the ground. Corespondent, please.

(x) (x) (x)
Corespondent: Good morning here. As you can see, the skies are clear and sunny. Just like my hometown. I am your local corespondent of the day, Aitor Kamara. Truly it has been quite a topsy turvy tourney thus far with the English Championship deemed better. Seeing Skysports rating Omeruo as Dzeko's better has gotta be my biggest break yet. So who shall lift the much coveted Jules Rimet Trophy bar a grand Latin heist? Let's go and find out.

Tourist 1: Of course our Netherlands! For a very long time, we, the long suffering Dutch, have to endure all kinds of racist jokes. I don't mind those made about our Dutch girls because they're indeed blond and hotly equipped. What I detest most is just about any jokes concerning human implosion. Humans don't implode, they explode! Why are there so many anti-science people making fun of our beloved Dutch nation?

Tourist 2: Netherlands. I'm a neutral and I don't really like how van Gaal performed plastic surgery on this current team. However, I have to admit 'tis pretty efficient. That plus I heard Daina Zagata has promised to be a Dutch citizen if Oranje really win.

Tourist 3: France. Like to see every jeune fille hitting the dance floor so long all of them ain't minors.

Tourist 4: ENGRAND!!!!!!! THREE LIONS!!!!!!! 1966!!!!!!!!! SIR ALF RAMSEY!!!!!!

AK: Erm, England are already out due to Los Ticos making los tacos out of your lads.

Tourist 5: Sorry, mate. He just got himself piss drunk because what you said is the cold hard truth.

AK: Never mind. People always drown their sorrows whenever there's beer aplenty.

Tourist 6: NORTH EAST! NORTH EAST! ENGLAND!!!!

AK: Wait, you don't look English.

Tourist 6: Yes, I no English! I Uruguay! I love Middlesbrough!

AK: Err, why?

Tourist 7+8+9+10+12... [and the Latin Express goes on...]: CAVANI IS MANNION! SUAREZ IS CAMSELL!

AK: Well, I guess the day remains young while the night truly awaits. Back to you, Kim Dan.
(x) (x) (x)

KD: I swear the next person calling me by my full will get it from me... why am I cursed with such a retarded name????

???: Kim Dan-nim, are you alright?

KD: Oh, of course I am fine. And here we have it, two esteemed guest pundits. On my right is this year's Miss Ice Goddess. Let us welcome Stevia G!

SG: ......

KD: Erm, okay it seems Stevia doesn't like to talk much. Anyway, on my left is...
*insane cheering coming from the 'live' audience. Weirdly enough, they all sound like guys.*
*Studio phone suddenly start ringing*

KD: Hello! This is...

?: #!$@#$$&*& lah! You think I dunno where is FBC meh?

KD: Erm... boss?

Boss: Yes, this is your boss, B.S Ko on the line. You know who are the special guests of the night? I swear that if I'm not happy, you confirm also not happy. You not happy, others also not happy. Get it?

KD: Err... yes, boss. Get it, boss.

Boss: Good. Introduce properly, okay? Already my friend Jürgen Kok has already created major unintentional consequences when that stupid paparazzi media K-PO revealed that damning selca news completed with the original selca.

KD: So anything else, boss?

Boss: No more. Still have to deal with another salty Korean five minutes later... *hangs up phone*

KD: Wait... that one is...

SG: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. More specifically Alucard's theme. Most tragic protagonist in the series by my estimation unless I'm to figure Leon Belmont in.

KD: Wait, wait... so what am I supposed to do?
*crow flies past somewhere nearby*

???: Good day to every audience both 'live' and watching from the comfort of your living room. 'Tis an honour to be a guest of FBC, I am G.Park.
*security personnel mobilised*

KD: At least these men in blue are doing their jobs for now. Really have to bargain with that doughnut vendor asap. *clears throat and tidy himself* So how shall we proceed, ladies?

GP: Say, Stevia. How's your boyfriend? Last time we met, it seems that he's grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Did he send you anything?

SG: Only a box of sweet pastries from Malaysia.

GP: Let me guess... sweetheart cakes?

SG: Bingo.

GP: That's so sweet~~~~

KD: Err, ladies... we're...

GP: I know. Football, right? Stevia, what's your view on the tournament so far?

SG: Brazil, flatter to deceive. Argentina, cannot perform without Messi. Croatia, dark horse. France, dark horse. Chile, dark horse. Costa Rica, surprise package. Italy, shock package plus 16th August.

GP: Some more?

SG: Holland, early favourites. Portugal, needs Ronaldo for bailout. Germany, my favourite because my friend also living there.

KD: Ladies, I think this is getting nowhere...

SG: England, dead. South Korea... sorry, can't say.
*Random crew hands Kim Dan a piece of fax*

KD: Ladies, I believe we've got some interesting info here. Audience, here's that one thing we all have been waiting for: Jürgen Kok's winning 11 of draft 2! Wait, why is it that the team sheet looks so funny...
*Camera zooms into the team sheet*



Ayew                                          Robben
Giroud         Suárez

GP: Wow, your boyfriend is such a nerd...

SG: A talented one at that...

KD: Wait... don't tell me... Jürgen Kok is...

GP: Yeah, he's Stevia's beau. Why?
*Big screen suddenly activated*

Jürgen Kok: Heyo, peeps!

KD: ...... WHY ALWAYS YOU?????????

KH: Why always me? I thought it's time for me to start analysing...

KD: Never mind. Let's just find a related topic to say. Like how do you see South Korea's massive defeat?

KH: Well, the Desert Foxes did outfox the Taegeuk Warriors. How? By exploiting the open space between the attacking quartet and fortified sextet. Plenty has been said about the Koreans' defensive frailty, the Algerians have proven it beyond doubt. The chief reason why Russia couldn't find a way through is because the South Koreans played their cards right. By employing two flat banks of 4, Hong Myung-bo had effectively stifled everybody else through ball possession from back till middle. Against the African cavalry, it's a total different ball game. The two wide-nim couldn't track back in time, the two anchor-nim got brutally exposed like Gray Fullbuster himself. This might be why the Desert Foxes were able to make a desert out of the result within 45 minutes. After the break, the Koreans managed to rally back due to the Korean pride.

GP: Sadly it's too little, too late.

KH: Yep. The kimchi was effectively done by time the 2nd half kicked off. The fact that your beloved soldiers on the pitch were able to pull 2 goals back was already a miracle in itself. Let me give you a tip, may you relay my words back to that old hero of Taegeuk.

SG: ......

GP: Go ahead! Please tell us how to beat those fake Red Devils!

KH: Fake?

GP: Well, the only true Red Devils come from my people and Manchester.

KH: You'll always go batshit crazy guano loco upon national pride being mentioned. Okay, listen carefully. Not gonna say this twice. Number one: I'm not God, I can't guarantee results.

GP: Number two?

KH: Do what the Algerians did to you, that's my advice to that old hero. Unfortunately, I believe the Belgians have already predicted this before me. Note the movement coming from their wide-nim because their entire 11-nim will keep a sharp eye on the Korean spine.

SG: ......

KH: Eh? You don't look too well, Stevia. Something wrong?

SG: Nothing. I see you're enjoying yourself at England right now.

KH: Here? At Middlesbrough? I know you'll be worried about me. Don't worry. I'm only here for footballing reasons. For the sake of my well being, I never wandered beyond my home after seven. As for girls, I don't even have the time to notice any!

SG: I don't believe you. Proof?

KH: You can join me up here at Teesside if you don't believe me. I swear that my home is actually part of Rockliffe Park, not Rockliffe Hall.

SG: Fine. Meet me up first at Hamburg three weeks from now. I heard you're already quite famous in Germany due to your name rhyming with another Jürgen.

KH: Okay, you win.

KD: Alright, can't stand this Lady and the Tramp moment. So tell me, Jürgen. How do you see the England-Costa Rica match?

KH: It's a match up between nothing to lose and nothing to gain.

KD: I gather that England has nothing to gain and Costa Rica got nothing to lose...

KH: Wrong. Your statement is just like me saying Emma Watson is English.

KD: Well, she's English.

KH: Technically 50% English, 50% French.

KD: I don't get you.

KH: What I'm trying to say is that such mentality can and will go either way. Hodgson can choose to see this match as a glass of wine half empty or a glass of wine half full. If he thinks England has nothing to gain, we'll definitely see a conservative England. The England that tried playing Russian Roulette during the last two matches and ultimately lost. On the other hand, I'll be interested to see whether Lallana will start should Hodgson decide that this team has got nothing to lose.

KD: Why? Because you have him in your fantasy league team?

KH: Partially yes. I can't lie over this question. However, it must also be noted that Lallana's dynamic drifting can AND will open up much wanted space by passing the ball on the ground. Costa Rica will most likely try packing the midfield with the option of having two wide-amigos falling back. That will leave Bryan Ruiz free to roam and once he gets the ball... well, you can ask Prandelli over that goal of his.

KD: So I assume old Roy commited a strategic cock up all the while?

KH: Against Italy, I can understand the need to harass Pirlo. Quite effective if you ask me. Unfortunately, Welbeck ain't the kind of player to do any tactical follow up. He's 100% graft, but not daring enough. Rooney wasn't good enough out wide because once you isolate him, the English will grant you that license to kill. Tactics is all about actual synergy and I'm not talking about Marvel Heroes.

KD: Against Uruguay?

KH: Sturridge got isolated instead. As a deep lying centre forward, Rooney enjoyed better protection to do what others said he does best. Shutting down that black man upfront proved to be Tabárez's victory and Hodgson's poison. La Celeste are known to be extremely physical from back till middle. This is why Cavani and Suárez are able to run the show down like the Mannion-Camsell partnership of yore. England really missed Lallana's ability to open up space. A lot has been said on him and Barkley resuscitating a vegetative England to no avail, but that's because the team was already a vegetable.

KD: No difference between the old shit England and new shit England then?

KH: At least Hodgson managed to create a decent semblance of ball retention. A conservative approach, however, means that England could never ever learn. I mean you're capable of keeping possession, but incapable of playing the ball forward? It's like me saying Tony Pulis is able to advocate passing football, but unable to get 3 points out of 3.

KD: Your analogy is absurd.

KH: Football is absurd anyway. 20 years ago or so, women actually understood what is offside. Fast forward the clock and we end up seeing the likes of Tobin Heath and Alex Morgan demonstrating to men the real meaning of that word.

KD: What about the defence then?

KH: Okay, then. Put 4 wooden blocks in a straight row. How many gaps should there be?

KD: Are you questioning my intellect?

KH: Just answer me. I'm not interested in playing games with you. I still have to try drafting an English spine for the Boro senior squad because I haven't even started it yet!

KD: Alright. Answer is 3.

KH: Congrats. You get an A-star.

KD: ARE YOU INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE????!!!!????

KH: No I'm not. I'm just trying to make a point. Simply put, the opponent will always try to exploit the gap between two players. It's not a matter of how many broken links, but rather a case of one is enough. Coordination to master the gaps is key to whether England will exit the airport in partial shame or utter shame. After all, there is only one Nigeria.

KD: Okay, thanks. I believe Hodgson will appreciate your input.

KH: And I believe Hong Myung-bo will want me to be his field strategist.

KD: That's absurd.

KH: Plenty of things we say tend to be absurd. So hope to see you soon, Stevia. Hamburg or Teesside, you can be very sure I'm not being absurd.

KD: Okay, so I guess this concludes tonight's episode of FBC.

GP: And on behalf of my agency and mother nation, I like to express my heartfelt thanks to all whom it may concern.

SG: You need a boyfriend, Park.

GP: But there are no suitable boys in my university!

SG: Go get one from your own professional circle then.

GP; Hmm... that's a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?