Notice from Rogue Economy Institute
In an astounding show of human fortitude, the columnist has been forced to complete this particular column due to the fact that he has managed to recover from a serious bout of giddy spell. How in the blue hell can a mere human being recover in one single go due to a peerless combo of prolonged warm shower and a hearty dinner is still beyond the boundary of common science. Let alone all of us in the Institute of Rogue Economists of course.
Special Mention of Credit:
Tigress Allen, it must be hard on you so far. I'll make sure this stupid sex crazed lobo columnist will agree to being your one day slave come tomorrow's free-for-all retail therapy. All tabs will be on him as well, so spend on whatever you like. Just remember my Bottega wallet and please do not worry about being cheated by any imitation fakes. Because Kork M.Hancock is nicknamed O'Analista for a very good reason.
~Sincerely yours, Rogue Economy Insitute
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai
Are local men truly THAT worthless?
Firstly, I think my pocket is gonna vomit blood because I still haven't got my $18000 worth of yearly pay YET. Of course I shouldn't complain because they tend to say life is hard, therefore we should play ourselves hard as well. And why I'm making this super fake mention is down to a certain video making rounds...
Now this particular video from YoloTube has gotten EVERY netizen up in arms. Because frankly speaking, I myself have yet to see such a stupid gurl~~~~
That is until that very moment where I found out that this is just a mere gimmick done by the folks running The Network Tactic (abbrev. TNT). Simply put, we're talking about a trailer being aired from an up and coming satirical channel. And frankly speaking, only every one of us bumming for life at the Institute can really get the joke for reasons unknown even to ourselves.
Now what I'm trying to put across is this:
In the eyes of the public male population, there are two types of local women. The above mentioned clip portrays that type of woman they don't want to touch. As for the other type, it's all about the kind of girl the public male population do NOT DARE to touch.*
*Columnist's disclaimer!*
The listed video is merely for the sake of real life demo. Any local resemblance to any local people is purely locally coincidental...
So are local men truly cowards?
Political correctly speaking, we prefer to call this a common case of persona non confiance. But that doesn't mean that local guys like us are basically good for nothing. In a nationwide survey done by The New Nation Times, the chief article editor Monsieur Bomoh Laid has this to say:
In a most idealistic society, every man has to right to pursue his dreams and his dream girl. However, findings most damning has virtually damned 90% of our very own male public population for good. It has nothing to do with money, but rather a chronic case of lack in self confidence. More often than not, either everyone around them downplayed their potential IQ or basically it may be just a mini revival of The Emo Rights Movement unintentionally sparkled back to life. In fact if the latter case is indeed true, then it will explain a massive spike in the emo porn industry where even the elderly are hungry for young emo little girls in real life.
In fact around at the same time, famous polling website non-affiliated with any political lobbying The Galloping Pole has this to say:
Via our own independent findings, the local public male population are actually your everyday young yuppies earning a widely varying amount of monthly pay. However, it seems that when it comes to girls, they don't really get it as in they expect girls to be girlish and boys to be manly. Yet due to unavoidable changes in global society, the girls managed to advance one level up while the guys got stuck behind. In fact, we've managed to compile a detailed finding of sorts:
Men who believed that girls should be there for the taking: 30%
Men who believed that girls should take the initiative 10 out of 10 times: 20%
Men who truly believed in life not being all about getting laid for the night: 10%
The rest without any comment: 40%
In short, we're seeing a crisis in the making. 10% of the public male population are quite obviously the most confident guys you'll ever see. The remaining 50% shouldn't be needing any more additional info apart from an inner desire to score with a white hot chick. As for the final 40%... well, let's just say they will always be the ones hoping to score with at least two white hot chicks within an hour.
In fact, we're glad to have the Institute of Rogue Economists publishing a certain interview done by a certain Monsieur Bomoh Laid.
A brief interview with a Menina de Futebol
Bomoh Laid: Hi there! What's your name?
Menina de Futebol: Well, you can just call me Deusa. That's how my namoradas address me.
Bomoh Laid: Wow, Deusa? Sounds like some Spanish goddess! Are you dating a footballer?
Deusa: No! Why should I? They seem so snobbish and the only most desirable amigo of mine ended up being the most famous local footballer who have won seven Ballon d'Goujon in a row!
Bomoh Laid: Local footballer? But there's no such thing as football here in this country!
Deusa: I mean PR7, not any random sportsman here.
Bomoh Laid: Manly cow! Surely you do not mean... Pavão Ronaldo????
Deusa: The very same. But it's too sad that he has gotten quite too vain. Too many step overs in between. But boy can he truly play!
Bomoh Laid: Yeah, I truly envy him. 70% of the guys here watch football for your info...
Deusa: So what you're trying to ask me? You're being way too conspicuous with that funny thing poking out of your pocket, you know.
Bomoh Laid: Erm that's a...
Deusa: A hidden mic. I know that. This country truly has the state-of-art technology and that's what gets me so hyped up even though I'm more of a football junkie.
Bomoh Laid: So you know that I'm a...
Deusa: Jornalista. I know that despite me having just a normal degree in journalism. Do go on.
Bomoh Laid: So... how do you find local guys?
Deusa: Bonitinho. But they always seemed to back off in fear whenever I approach them with his term.
Bomoh Laid: Perhaps you're being too aggressive?
Deusa: Absurdo. Raparigas Portuguesas don't believe in cowardice. We only believe in mutual passion and the freedom of expression. That's how I met my current amante. Amante as in lover. Lover as in a steady boyfriend.
Bomoh Laid: Wow, that's nice. He understands Portuguese?
Deusa: Well, no. To be fair, he only understands whatever being translated on the internet via Goggle Translate. But it's nice that I managed to pick up English since young. That made things easier for me especially since my fellow classmates have always been staring wide eyed at me for no apparent reason. Is being an exchange student truly so difficult?
Bomoh Laid: Well, no.
Deusa: That's my question being asked to my amante, not you. Sorry for being blunt, but I did warn you beforehand about our Paixão Português. But anyway, he just laughed and he just shrugged. Funnily enough, passers by thought that he was crazy judging by their funny glances and funny English.
Bomoh Laid: And his reaction?
Deusa: Said that it's not his problem, he don't give any damn.
Bomoh Laid: Wow, he do have the balls.
Deusa: Yep. He's no PR7 because PR7 is a whopping 1.8m in stature while my amante is actually even shorter than me. I'm around 1.7m by the way.
Bomoh Laid: And you became his girlfriend?
Deusa: Of course! No sane woman should ever judge her potential boyfriend just by height and size! Although it truly helps in seeing him not minding being called bonitinho. I suspect he knows what it means right from the beginning.
Bomoh Laid: So he's a confident man?
Deusa: A little bit of all. Or so he said in the beginning until I asked him not to be so self-humble. He can be such a self-critical darling at times.
Bomoh Laid: So what do the both of you always talk about?
Deusa: Football of course! He's an extremely witty analyst and he's not too shabby in commenting on other non-football related stuff, you know.
Bomoh Laid: Oh I see...
Deusa: Oh sorry there! He just messaged me saying that he has found a nice place serving nice local cuisine. Adeus!
Bomoh Laid: Erm, yeah... adeus to you as well. And your boyfriend. Or maybe just your amante?
Conclusion
Well, there's actually nothing much to say here apart from the fact that it's truly possible for any given local guy to have a foreign girlfriend. Even the white hot ones since they do communicate with random folks differently from our local girls.
So is there any hope for the future world population? The answer should be yes. But only if the world as a collective tries hard enough. Perhaps we will be able to reach that total balance prior to the unknown epidemic five decades ago, who knows?
By then, the global economy will be stable enough and the global people will be able to live comfortable lives even with the lowest of monthly pay.
Oh and one more thing. Our Head of Social Espionage Faculty, Kay G.Bee has claimed to have discovered Deusa's actual identity with Bomoh Laid also clarifying that she's definitely the one.
Note from the Institute:
Due to a potential case of everlasting trauma possibly incurred, we at the Institute of Rogue Economists has decided to put up this clip below as a token of apology.
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