Kork M.Hancock, Rogue Economist: Population and the global economy (Part 1)

Disclaimer!

This is a satirical piece.
It doesn't mean anything pertaining to whatever views I have on the Population White Paper.

Lowdown on the columnist

Kork.M.Hancock is a leading young star of the Rogue Economy Institute. Supposedly a promising student from H@rv*rd Uni dual majoring in political studies and economy, he was promptly expelled due to getting caught in the middle of watching porn while jacking himself off. Claims of intentional bullying went to nothing as Kork was... well left with nothing until REI offered him a spot in the Analysis Faculty.

Lowdown on the institute

Rogue Economy Institute is an unlisted think tank unaffiliated with any political party or even any given nation. Due to their inability to conduct terrorism (some say they're pretty much law abiding citizens although such claims were shot down just as fast), anything said in the columns should be taken with a grain of salt. Or so says the current Government regime. Whoever that may be anyway.

Special mention:

Due to problems most apparent, it is to the interest of the Rogue Economy Institute that a certain Allen Ellen has to tail this stupid columnist 24/7 because he got caught (again!) downloading and watching porn despite receiving 6 warning letters in a row. Hence, after a lengthy meeting lasting four hours, we hereby decided on a fear inspiring post for her: Tigress Allen.

~Rogue Economy Institute
Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai

Foreword

Recently, a certain political news managed to make its rounds all over the globe. The originator is the S Country where the first letter should be just seen as an alphabet and nothing more. For not only did the said news managed to invoke a mass hysteria among the local masses, it also managed to create waves of global nostalgia due to events half a century back. Welcome then, folks, to my dissection on how the global population affects the global economy.

So what's the news about?

You can call it a communication screw up or merely people making noise. But no matter what, the most recent Historical White Paper has actually invoked painful memories where global fortunes in the past is concerned. Even though the fact is that everything content wise was all about recounting the past.

And we all know what happened fifty years ago...

More than half a century back, global economy wasn't that truly global. Every country had its own equal share of local population and local technology. Yet something disastrous happened. Well respected economists call this The Major Depression, but we at the Rogue Economy Institute prefer to call this a major disaster.

In short, minority half of the globe began to have their population dropping dead like flies while the majority half actually ended up producing far more beyond whatever decent technology was capable of otherwise.

This was a major crisis because back then, nobody actually care about whether their own country needs the other country just up north. Just to quote an example of course. With such a dire situation, global leaders convened together in order to find a solution. Only a few believed in planning much further with the the rest believing in quick fix solutions. Eventually, everyone managed to settle for a compromise apart from a certain Kim Jung Mong who was quite obviously against every single plan proposed. Hence the United Nato was formed despite threats from Kim Jung Mong stating that he will create his own technology. That was in spite of him offering nothing constructive all the while.

Scarily enough, Kim Jung Mong's anger seemed to have obtained the heaven's mandate where the future of his own founded state differs starkly to the rest. According to the standard Happiness Index at the moment, not any one member of the UN managed to score the highest possible score of 80 out of 100. At the same time, statistics according the standard GDP average scoreboard still now showing revealed that Northern Kimchigook actually scored the lowest out of the rest. -1000 to be exact compared to it's supposedly greedy neighbor down south who managed to score a whopping 10000000 points.

So what contributes to what we're seeing now in the global UN? Apparently, the Law of Equivalent Trade has stated as such...

Amazingly enough, the overall happiness within a country is tantamount to the birth rate, be it rising, falling or just merely fluctuating.

And it all started with a gay dinosaur

Back then, nobody knew the cause of the epidemic. And neither do we as well. But if there's anything to go by, there used to be a children's show airing more than a decade back. That was during the era where global economy had found its feet, but yet to be labeled as competitive. The title of the show?

Barneygay Dino

Now despite whatever being said back then, none of us (as in children within my own generation) understood the meaning of gay. Whatever being said on a gay lifestyle and a gay life was lost somewhere in translation because no one had ever taught us what is a gay. Yet, a mere global children program ended up defining the future of global economy. A lot was being attributed by Barneygay Dino's natural wit in terms of money sense. In short, the future generation starting from my own had something to work with. In fact, despite the show dying off due to fierce competition during the last half a decade or more, every Dino boomer like me would still remember this funny song playing out of nowhere during the break.

So what exactly happened that caused Barneygay Dino to go extinct?

Very simple. Back then, the concept of advanced bartering was already there. It's actually something devised by the UN to be fair. Simply put, if as a country I have the manpower, it means I have no technology. If as a country I have the technology, it means I have no manpower. Mutual investing is the only way and that's how the global economy has entered its most competitive stage thus far and perhaps never to be surpassed. Countries originally having more technology were starting to have more affordable labor while countries originally having more manpower had became more tech savvy and much more status savvy.

Hence it's only a matter of time before Barneygay Dino died a slow and agonizing death. Not to mention the most ironic death as well since it truly sounds a bit like an absolute paradox, i.e. the created offing the creator. Of course one easily can say that Barneygay Dino failed to evolve with time and we at the Rogue Economy Institute truly believe this to be so. Up and comers destined for current greatness soon reared their heads.

On the popular media side, we have channels like Emmy TV, H-BOX, and that still alive Kim Jung Mong's most hated channel, the SKTV.

On the information channels, we have the Foxed Network, BBQ News, KNN, NNK (not to be confused with KNN), and of course our very own New Nation Times. And yes, the most famous northern news channel Marakini as well which somehow recently contrived to malu its own PM.

The only common ground and relevance to the topic at hand?

These are the corporations who know how to balance out the manpower with technology. In short, it's all about quantity and quality truly able to coexist for good.

And just an interesting ending note for the first part

Interestingly enough, a certain channel owned by an ex-university Aussie mate of mine managed to recreate a vague picture on what could possibly caused that major disaster we at the Rogue Economy Institute have known so well. Simply put, it might have something to do with the sperm genetics...

Note from High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai:

Kork wasn't lying when he said he knew a certain Anal Alex. Yes, we're talking about the owner of the greatest news network of all times, The Discovered Channel. And Kork, I'm the one supplying Anal Alex the relevant info, so don't you dare let this Aussie bastard give us any more of that Foster's brew again, you get me? >:[

To be continued...