Proof that 9th Aug belongs to angmohs... :P

Apparently, 9th Aug is a day to rejoice. If you got friends, it means you spend your National Day w/your friends. If you got bf, it means you spend your National Day w/your bf. If you got gf, it means you spend your National Day w/your gf. Which now comes to my current situation:
1. I don't have any friends b/c I'm not known to have close friends.
2. I don't have bf b/c I'm not known to be gay.
3. I don't have gf b/c I'm still certified as single, despondent and undesirable.

Then, I end up getting the best gift ever. If National Day is for everyone to enjoy, then 9th Aug is for me to realise (?) where my heart belongs to...

Best gift 9th Aug can ever give me: 3 pts for #boro #UTB
— Minghui Kuok (@Aeranath) August 9, 2014

Aggressive 4= #FantasticFour Lethal 2= #Wolverine & #Deadpool Troll in the hole= #Gambit Troll in final 3rd= #Nightcrawler
— Minghui Kuok (@Aeranath) August 9, 2014

Proof that Teesside is still lacking one more freak...

Proof that Eddie Howe might have seen this*
*NOT!

The Marvelous X-Men

[aka random doop inspired by Marvel Heroes]

9th August@X-Mansion

(Charles Xavier receives alarming news concerning his old Jewish friend, summons the X-Men into his office.)

Professor X: We have grave news. While using the Cerebro to locate new recruits to our cause, I have detected some disturbing activities in Singapore.

Iceman: Singapore? You mean that country with spicy food and spicier local ladies?

Professor X: Why, yes. Any more questions, Bobby?

Iceman: So we're not talking about Mandripoor. Good for me. That meeting with Daredevil's ex didn't go down well last time round.

 Beast: Are you still sore over Polaris dating Havok? That's years ago, Bobby.

Iceman: And besides, Polaris died some time ago. Yeah, I know that and I'm not about to crack a joke or two over this.

Gambit: Well...

Cyclops: Quiet, Gambit! Bobby doesn't need your witty comments at this moment.

Gambit: So how about...

Cyclops: And don't make any comments about me and Alex, understand?

Wolverine: Alright, people. Let's stop all this bullshit and get down to business.

Storm: I believe someone is missing from our midst.

Quicksilver: You mean my sis?

Scarlet Witch: I'm here, Pietro.

Gambit: So that means someone is still busy with the Excalibur.

Shadowcat: Stop fooling around, Remy. Excalibur is already history.

Gambit: So did Piotr do that? I mean Excalibur, not you.

Colossus: Watch your mouth, Gambit.

*Remy LeBeau instantly got bonked across the head with smoke coming out from a swollen bump.*

Rogue: No more of that, sugah.

*cue der BAMF!*

Nightcrawler: Try keeping up with me!

Wolverine: Been stayin' outta trouble, elf?

Beast: Kurt, I've told you time and again already! Do not...

Nightcrawler: ...relive my past experience in the afterlife through the Danger Room. I know that, Hank.

Cyclops: Stay sharp, Kurt. This isn't a game. Please do continue, Professor.

Wolverine: Wait. So where's Emma?

Psylocke: I think she left us after Scott got restored. Bobby Drake, can't you be serious for just two seconds?

Iceman: Oops, sorry there. I nearly forgot who said "no more Phoenix!", Scott.

Cyclops: No more of your jokes, Bobby. You're almost as bad as Gambit. Whatever feud you've got with my brother is none of my concern.

Wolverine: At least you never mention Deadpool, Scott.

Angel: I swear I'd have paralyzed his lower body if not for Nathan's interference.

Psylocke: Calm down, Warren. I also felt like slicing Wade Wilson to ribbons during that episode.

Beast: I'm no law guru, but isn't sexual harassment a crime?

Psylocke: Which makes his acquittal all the more unbelievable...

Angel: He must have either threatened or bribed the judge and jury. More likely both given Nathan's angry look when the verdict was announced.

Scarlet Witch: ......

*Flashback to one year ago during post NDP celebrations*

Gambit: Deal again, mon ami?

Local Zouk girl 1: He's so sexy!!!!!

Local Zouk girl 2: He's so desirable!!!!!!!

Local Zouk girl 3: He's so unattainable!!!!!!!

Gambit: Hey there! Don't just mop around, Nightcrawler!

*cue der BAMF! and plenty of shocked local Zouk girls*

Nightcrawler: There's more to life than just women and gambling, Gambit.

Iceman: You really need to chill, Kurt. Me and Remy knows you've been through a lot. I mean getting killed by Bastion, going to heaven only to realize there's no hot Singaporean devils there and getting yourself revived after whooping your father's ass. C'mon, you need a life. So when was the last time you kissed a girl? Be honest with us, Kurt.

Gambit: I know a liar when I see one, Nightcrawler.

Nightcrawler: Erm... none?

Iceman: Okay then. See Wanda over there? Poor pretty thing she is. Every Singaporean dude is trying to chat her up, but she doesn't care.

Nightcrawler: So?

Iceman: Me and Remy devised a little plan to end your...

Nightcrawler: End my what?

Gambit: Virginity, Nightcrawler. The last person capable of tempting you has already moved onto another target.

*Somewhere in the National Museum at the same time...*

Black Cat: Somebody must be talking nasty things about me. Well, a bad girl's gotta do what a bad girl's born to do...

*Back to Zouk*

Iceman: Okay so here's the plan, Kurt. Wanda has agreed to a date with you. A hot date without worrying about Pyro gatecrashing...

Nightcrawler: Do tell me again why half of Manhattan got burnt down last year...

Iceman: I wasn't there, Remy wasn't there.

Nightcrawler: Wanda was there.

Iceman: So?

Nightcrawler: 'Tis not funny to joke about collateral damages done to an innocent city.

*Flashback to 4th July@mid town Manhattan*

Pyro: You burned me out, mate.

Scarlet Witch: You're no match for Chaos magic!

Captain America: I'm sure Stark will pay for all these...

Iron Man: Are you still holding onto those vibranium rights, T'Challa?

Black Panther: Stark, are you the master of your technology or its servant?

Storm: You do our people proud, Panther.

Iron Man: Do you mind?

Storm: I was referring to T'Challa playing a vital role in defeating the cosmic level threat of Pyro.

Iron Man: Okay, cool power couple. The king and queen of Wakanda really do their people proud.

Storm: Do not anger a goddess...

*Back to 9th August@Zouk*

Iceman: Oops, I forgot Wanda accidentally obliterated half of Manhattan during Independence Day. Or so I heard from that genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist. Wait a sec, Kurt... why mention Wanda if you don't have a thing for her?

Nightcrawler: Okay, I give up.

Iceman: Good. Go back to your room and log onto your Facebook account. Go type Scarlet Wanda Maximoff, that's her Facebook profile account. There are some pictures she put on public, I suspect it might be at Siloso Beach.

*At the comfort of his own hotel room...*

Nightcrawler: I can't believe it... Wanda wearing a bikini? You're a scoundrel, Bobby Drake. A little wonder why Hank is always worried about you starting a fight with Scott...

Next episode:

What is Magneto planning in Singapore?

Is there truly a mutant there?

Will Kurt Wagner get himself corrupted by Chaos magic despite the likelihood of having the Soulsword?

Watch this space, peeps. That is if you're really low crass enough like me to call yourself the everyday S'porean...

Meanwhile at the Avengers Tower...

Nick Fury: No mutants found in Singapore... shit, that must have been the Shadow King messin' with the info... gotta tell Xavier about this.

*Fury faces towards the east of mid town Manhattan*

Nick Fury: Director Fury to Agents Maria Hill, Phil Coulson and Eric O'Grady... time to assemble! I repeat! Time to assemble!

Somewhere @Manhattan

Ant-Man: You hear that, Phil? Fury's telling us one thing.

Coulson: I hope this has got nothing to do with this strip club we're in right now, Eric.

Ant-Man: Don't worry, I'll tell the truth this time round. That Agent Eric O'Grady was the one coercing Agent Phil Coulson to the Chels-Blue Strip Club. Happy?

Coulson: Can I say no?

Ant-Man: Unfortunately, my answer is no. Okay, time to assemble. MOTHER****ERS, ASSEMBLE!

El Estratega: Seis

Made a promise w/myself that should we lose to Villareal, I'll re-kick this history monster. On an interesting side-note, Brains and Brawn is no longer Nightcrawler's BFF. Or rather, I've alrdy relegated Hank McCoy to orang baik dua. Come to think of this, it seems that Bobby Drake is much more Kurt'esque than that other furry in blue. No wonder my Nightcrawler is now kitted with Insignia of Iceman due to that double whammy, i.e. Soulsword+Hydra Belt-Mounted Sonar Targeting System.

A/N to self: Since I alrdy got 2 lvl 60 blokes and one (quasi-literal) Invisible Woman at lvl 34 41 or so, I decided that the time is ripe for me to buy Ancient Gourd of Prestige. Only one mind you.

Add A/N to self: If you're NOT out to create a diff build for your hero, don't even bother to bugger Clea for that crazy drinking vessel which happened to make Naruto somewhat more famous.
Proof that I'm not lying>http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Benihisago
With that being said tho, re-calibrating Nightcrawler into that classic 'porter which has enraptured all fanboys and fangirls will be nice. That plus this was how Kurt Wagner became a martyr for his faith. Well sorta since Hope Summers=/=real.
Bastion, on the other hand, deserved that most badass moment of *bamf!*
Doesn't suck too much to be Jamie Lannister tho it seems.

Strategic A/N: If you want Nightcrawler to sign for Barcelona, then One Step Ahead=one million steps ahead.

Brains and Brawn=Hank McCoy and Hank McCoy

[沛公入秦宫，宫室帷帐狗马重宝妇女以千数，意欲留居之。樊哙谏沛公出舍，沛公不听。良曰：“夫秦为无道，故沛公得至此。夫为天下除残贼，宜缟素为资。今始入秦，即安其乐，此所谓‘助桀为虐’。且‘忠言逆耳利于行，毒药苦口利于病’，愿沛公听樊哙言。”]

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

Upon entering the Qin palace, the Duke of Pei beheld horses, dogs and women numbering a thousand plus. Intending to keep them for himself, he refused Fan Kuai's request for audience. Thus Liang's advice: "The government of Qin was bereft of morals, hence m'lord gaining its capital city (i.e. Xianyang). In order to destroy its remnants, we paid the troops with only simple wages. Now that we have just entered the Qin territory, complacency is nowhere different from aiding tyranny. As the saying goes, 'sound advice may be jarring to the ear, but vital in progress while bitter poison is only good for pestilence'. Hence I beseech Your Highness to heed Fan Kuai's words."

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

Throughout Liu Bang's colourful life, we end up seeing the good (e.g. Zhang Liang, Xiao He and Zhou Bo), bad (e.g. Chen Ping) and the ugly (e.g. Han Xin, Peng Yue and Qing Bu). So who's that man they called Fan Kuai?

1. He was an old friend of Liu Bang back during their youth.

2. Before he took up arms, he was a butcher.

3. In the ancient times, the Chinese were not so different from the Koreans. [1]

When we talk abt scoundrels, low-lives and unorthodox bastards, we tend to come up with ppl like him, him and him. [2] Liu Bang ain't that different tho even though he ended up being the 2nd Emperor of China. In the world of novel writing, characters evolve from one state to another. We call this character development, history is also about real people evolving from one state to another.

Talking abt Liu Bang is just like talking abt my beloved Boro. Cynics always enjoy calling us that shite team which belongs to neither the North East nor Yorkshire. [3] Likewise, cynics enjoy calling Liu Bang both drunkard and a lecher. Or in general terms, a lecherous drunk [贪酒好色之徒]. Yet, there is nothing laughable over Liu Bang's desire to become a great man.

Imagine this situation:

You're born as part of the society, but society doesn't seem to like you.

You're part of your class, but your classmates def doesn't like you.

You're part of your NS unit, but your khakis doesn't have the same interests as you.

You're alrdy 31 and will be 32 this yr, but girls doesn't want you.

Conclusion:

If Liu Bang was to be that kid in your school, he'd most likely be that poor kid kenna bullied left, right and centre.

If Liu Bang was to be your platoon mate, he'd most likely be that clown earning nothing but teh lolz.

If Liu Bang was to be that one local bloke out of a million, he'd most likely be laughed off as a loser.

If Liu Bang was to support a football team, he'd def support the Boro.

Now back to Fan Kuai. How in the blue hell did he manage to talk like some Korean minister out to bust some corrupted heads? He's supposed to be a brainless dog killer in every sense of the word! You might as well go ask G.R.R Troll how in the blue hell did Jaime Lannister manage to become an honourable man.

Certain things will nvr change. It's like someone saying "I'll nvr ogle at girls again!" where in fact, he still do have a weakness for that pretty radiographer in his workplace. Likewise, seeing plenty of horses, dogs and pretty lasses should be nothing bar a recipe for disaster. To highlight whatever Liu Bang might be thinking back then, allow me to do a parallel analysis.

Parallel satu

Owning a fine horse to the common folks back then is like owning a Ferrari.

Parallel dua

Owning a pedigree dog to the common folks back then is like Paris Hilton owning a slow loris. [4]

Parallel tiga

Owning a pretty lass to the common folks back then is like having Kate Upton as your BGF. [5]

If there's anybody not amused by Liu Bang reverting to himself, it'd be Fan Kuai. I don't have to explain for you Fan Kuai's reason behind getting alarmed since one can easily imagine what kind of gahmen was the Qin administration. [6]

Liu Bang's answer?

So imagine this kind of scenario...

Fan Kuai: KNN! That stupid dai-kor-dai! What the **** is he thinking?

Xiahou Ying: Aiyah, very simple mah! You dunno meh?

Guan Ying: Eh, we all been lobo for dunno how many years liao and dai-kor-dai triple confirm is our lobo king leh!

Fan Kuai: LPPL lah! You think I bodoh or buat bodoh? Bladdy hell... if this goes one, he confirm will go mabuk forever one!

Zhou Bo: Not to mention go hong every chio-bu he see... jialat, liddat how?

Xiao He: My comrades and brothers, there is still hope. Remember that bloke who doesn't look like a man?

The rest: Huh? You mean that bapok????!!!!

Fan Kuai: Eh, that stupid lah! Kapalah budoh, that idiot only knows how to think creatively one. Can't even hold a sword, I bet jipahban that he confirm can't even kill a cat or a dog!

Xiao He: Understand the risk and know there's none.

1/2 an hour later or so, below is Liu Bang's reply...

沛公乃还军霸上。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

Houston, we got a problem here...

[项羽至鸿门下，欲击沛公，项伯乃夜驰入沛公军，私见张良，欲与俱去。良曰：“臣为韩王送沛公，今事有急，亡去不义。”

乃具以语沛公。沛公大惊，曰：“为将奈何？”

良曰：“沛公诚欲背项羽邪？”

沛公曰：“鲰生教我距关无内诸侯，秦地可尽王，故听之。”

良曰：“沛公自度能却项羽乎？”

沛公默然良久，曰：“固不能也。今为奈何？”

良乃固要项伯。项伯见沛公。沛公与饮为寿，结宾婚。令项伯具言沛公不敢倍项羽，所以距关者，备他盗也。及见项羽后解，语在项羽事中。]

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

Xiang Yu arrived at Hongmen intending to attack the Duke of Pei. Xiang Bo, in turn, hurried to the enemy camp in order to seek an audience with Zhang Liang. Despite his best efforts, Liang refused Bo's persuasion to escape. He said thus: "I am now accompanying the Duke of Pei as the envoy under the King of Han. In the face of such emergency, I cannot back off as such action goes against principles and morals."

In return, Liang led Xiang Bo to meet the Duke of Pei. After a few bouts of drinking, they agreed to forge an alliance via marriage. Xiang Bo informed Xiang Yu that Liu Bang has never dared to go against him, that the Duke of Pei was merely defending the conquered areas against opportunistic knaves. Upon meeting Xiang Yu, both parties managed to resolve their differences. The relevant details can be found in Xiang Yu's biography. 

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

If there's any famous song coming to mind where Liu Bang was concerned, it should be this. Ofc Xiang Bo wouldn't be so stupid to persuade the enemy to bail. The only catch? Zhang Liang wasn't seen as one. Then again, I truly doubt Xiang Bo actually viewed Liu Bang in the same way where Israel view the Hamas and vice versa.

At this point of time, Zhang Liang was still officially under the Han banner. In short, he could have bailed and tell Xiang Yu that his fellow Hans will forever swear fealty to the Chu! But hell no! Why would Zhang Liang abandon Liu Bang? Can you imagine me ditching my beloved Boro for Leeds, Newcastle or Sunderland? Total bullshit! FourFourTwo don't rate our chances of winning promotion, that's not my problem ffs.

Okay, rant over, let's continue...

[楚左尹项伯者，项羽季父也，素善留侯张良。张良是时从沛公，项伯乃夜驰之沛公军，私见张良，具告以事，欲呼张良与俱去。曰：“毋从俱死也。”

张良曰：“臣为韩王送沛公，沛公今事有急，亡去不义，不可不语。”

良乃入，具告沛公。沛公大惊，曰：“为之柰何？”

张良曰：“谁为大王为此计者？”

曰：“鲰生说我曰‘距关，毋内诸侯，秦地可尽王也’。故听之。”

良曰：“料大王士卒足以当项王乎？”

沛公默然，曰：“固不如也，且为之柰何？”

张良曰：“请往谓项伯，言沛公不敢背项王也。”

沛公曰：“君安与项伯有故？”

张良曰：“秦时与臣游，项伯杀人，臣活之。今事有急，故幸来告良。”

沛公曰“孰与君少长？”

良曰：“长于臣。”]

《史记; 项羽本纪》

司马迁著

Trans:

Xiang Bo was an uncle of Xiang Yu, his relationship with Zhang Liang deemed cordial. When Zhang Liang was following the Duke of Pei, Xiang Bo hurried throughout the night unto the Duke's encampment in order to meet Zhang Liang in private. After stating the serious nature of the circumstances, he persauded Zhang Liang to leave, saying thus: "If you don't listen, you'll perish!"

Zhang Lianf replied hence: "I am now accompanying the Duke of Pei as the envoy under the King of Han. In the face of such emergency, I cannot back off as such action goes against principles and morals. Indeed I must inform the Duke of this."

Upon relaying his message, the Duke of Pei was alarmed: "Why is this so?"

Zhang Liang answered: "Who was the one suggesting such a measure for m'lord?"

"Some scoundrel advised me 'hold fort at the passes to repel the various lords, for through this plan I can be lord over the lands of Qin'. Thus, I chose to listen."

Zhang Liang said: "Do m'lord truly think our forces are capable of fighting the King of Xiang?"

The Duke of Pei became silent, saying thus: "Unable to.. what must I do?"

Zhang Liang replied: "Summon an audience with Xiang Bo then. Tell him the Duke of Pei dare not disobey the King of Xiang."

The Duke of Pei said: "Do you have close ties with Xiang Bo?"

Zhang Liang answered: "During the time of Qin, he was my travelling companion. Xiang Bo was guilty of murder, but your humble vassal saved him. Now that such an emergency has reared its head, he came specially to warn Liang."

The Duke of Pei asked: "Is he older than you?"

Liang answered: "Indeed, m'lord."

Analysis:

No chance in hell, that's most likely how post 90% of the English tabloid media view our chances. Ofc w/tabloid being tabloid, it's just like me saying Emma Watson will never pose for the Sun. Which ofc by itself is a statement really damn true. [7]

Which now comes to Karanka's current wheeling and dealing in the transfer market. Tango w/Genk while running the risk of getting ganked has nvr been Karanka's agenda, but the Adam Clayton deal is diff kettle of fish altogether it seems. Ofc if 'tis true that there's only one Boro in Clayton's mind, no one should be a dick and slap some retarded sanctions on him. Regardless of whether Huddersfield is truly an honourable club ain't the question, the question lies in our reinforcements are considered a little weak compared to teams like Fulham, Cardiff and Norwich. [8]

Zhang Liang's convo w/Liu Bang is just like me asking Karanka a similar rhetoric question. The difference between Liu Bang and Karanka lies in maturity, their common ground is basically having the capacity to command. Latter factor is like Xiang Yu with the catch that Liu Bang's shrewdness was the reason why he won the Conflict of Chu-Han.

As for Xiang Bo's relationship w/Zhang Liang, it's pretty much like some 30+ local bloke being friends w/Eddie Howe. A friendship forged NOT from pri/sec/ITE school yrs or whether you both got the same pretty girl as your friend in Friendsters, but rather a friendship built upon mutual respect and a mutual mentality.

 Ofc after all being said and done, diplomacy was to be the only way out. For now that is...

Which now comes to an interesting side story concerning a Chinese who's... well not so Chinese lol!

To be cont'd...

[1]: In short, that makes Fan Kuai 1/3 Korean.

[2]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0dPKs3qwz0
[3]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHXWSXgXF6k
[4]: Slow loris are considered endangered species, so please don't endanger others and yourself b/c the cops won't be the ones endangered.
[5]: BGF=Best GirlFriend.
[6]: If you still demand an example, however...
[7]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5zUW0WLrIg
[8]: Now if only we're relegated last season. Sucks to be us...

'Tis scientifically proven, guys and girls...

...that if you feel your IQ is somewhat abnormal, pls do not fret. I'll be the first to admit I don't do drugs since ppl tend to say S'porean society is quintessentially squeaky clean. That plus my Christian faith forbids the usage of meth, weed, pot, hash, 'shrooms, etc. On the sexual end, I'll be the first to admit that despite my personal struggles for the past N years, no girl has ever slept w/me since I'm nvr the type of Irish/Greek/Roman/*insert any other angmoh race here* demi-god capable of making the opposite sex swoon. Basically, it means that:

Pri 5-6: I liked a girl=I never questioned why=got myself marah by said girl's mom

Sec 1-5: got heavy crush on a particular girl 1 yr older than me (imo the prettiest girl in my schooling yrs) >got a less heavy crush on a girl 1 yr younger than me (def the bustiest girl of her batch) >got a decent crush on a girl 2 yrs younger than me (said to be the prettiest girl of her batch).

ITE: got crush on a few girls, either they nvr realised or they chose to marah me personally. Okay, second part is a case of one girl or two only.

NSF: everyone listens to Steve b/c he's the AS1. I listen to Steve even more b/c he's capable of charming girls. That plus I was the only one kenna friend request rejected by a particular chio'bu. That was when Friendsters was totally hot. Not to mention every NSF bloke from 32SIB managed to friend her apart from me.

Church: personal demons still existed, thankfully Someone upstairs managed to take care of this problem for me by now.

Then lastly, being a night owl has always been my personal trait. And it still remains a signature trait till now. Basically, this means either 1 out of 3 possibilities:

1. I'm actually a genius born in an Asian society.

2. I'm not a genius b/c ppl enjoy telling me abt my shortcomings and nothing else.

3. I'm just a poor paranoid sod who happens to need my 1st gf.

Regardless of whatever bullshitting you're seeing above, it seems that local S'porean girls tend to operate at diff frequency compared to Japanese girls.
Don't believe me...=...not my pasal

According to Minghui-matics, this is basically how the politically correct balance works itself out:

Stereotypical S'porean lengzai

1. Low income

2. Low manners

3. Low crass

Stereotypical S'porean lengloi

1. High demands

2. High upkeep

3. High class 

According to my very same Minghui-matics, however, this is also how the politically incorrect balance evens out the odds.

Semi-stereotypical S'porean bloke

1. High level of humility

2. High level of self-deprecating mannerism

3. Low level of maintenance

Semi-stereotypical S'porean girl

1. High in demand

2. High in class

3. High in romanticism

Note that whatever being stated here should only be seen as pure drivel unless proven otherwise. If you have any doubts (esp if you happen to hold a pink IC), pls consult your nearest sociologist first before consulting your nearest psychologist.

With everything being said and done...

...please allow me a moment of shameless plugging. You see, Singapore has its very own Singapore Blog Awards coming up. Yet, I do NOT see anything Singaporean abt this blog. They tend to say funny ppl tend to follow you on Twitter, I am one of the many living examples here. Since I'm hell bent on promoting myself before any/every girl low-standard enough to care...

Above two clips is only there for ambiance's sake, you can either ignore, or loop either one for teh lulz.

An té a bhíónn siúlach, bíonn scéalach

When you devised names for your characters, surely there has to be a fixed system, no? Language will forever be an integral part to any and every given society. Even if we're talking abt countries like the US and S'pore, it merely means every society has its own ethnic groups. If you're a Spanish, it means you speak Spanish. If you're either black or white, it means English is your mother tongue. Ditto for every Tamil, Malay, Chinese, Eurasian and other races present in S'pore.

However, there are also those who happened to think up names on a whim. My advice to such aspiring writers is this: While it's okay to create names out of a whim or two, remember the manner of naming system planned beforehand. If you don't even have an idea on what to do, then you might need to reformat everything and redo the job again. Quite a bit like my ITE ex-classmate, Marc, who always had to reformat his PC whenever Kazaa decided to spread virus 4 teh evulz (note: that was actually years ago where P2P can result in any manner of download, be they legal or illegal, harmful or non-harmful).

In fact, this is something I've learnt along the way. This is exactly why despite glaring differences at times, I'll always try to take note on what really makes individual races unique so as to speak. The only catch? I'm still trying to go around fine tuning this shit. Don't understand, nvr mind. Take a look below:

Guy Cody: Kalaran

Alestrial Eliaden: Kalaran first before a Cinha

Karen Tenias: Kalaran

Joenne Nances: Kalaran

Lukas Brun: Kalaran

Yeras Wynda: Kalaran

Jon Wood: Teutonian

Leon Talonarc: Teutonian

Mannion Camsell: Teutonian

Beriad Song: Teutonian

Common ground-Both Teutonia and the Kalaran Empire are considered territories belonging to the Causaceans, i.e. your typical Northmen.

Aeranath: NOT a Causacean

Problematic factor-Aeranath is a True Apostle and it's been hinted that True Apostles do NOT take any shit or whatsoever from other races. Therefore, the verbal nature behnd this name, Aeranath, should be considered a form of anomaly. Albeit his father, Rowein, also applies as well. Then ofc we also have similar wild cards like Ziron, Erik and Aor.

Funny examples-Tristan Ajax is a Sudhlit, but his ties with Teutonia which was blatantly implied is an understandable factor. Sarel Aphros... well, we all know the deal behind a dark Ciel. -.-

Likely solution>If the Causaceans believed themselves to be homo sapiens superior, then I might need to grant their wish in the name of personal perfection. However, it also means that I need to resolve that other glaring anomaly otherwise known as Slarvea, i.e. the Slarveans are also Causaceans, but their naming culture is glaringly different. Deus ex machina, anyone? >.<

Side note-Since Aeranath=/=an Elf, it's only natural for me to add this in.

Kerstein de Bladefort: Elf

Eliador de Lioncourt: Elf

Lara von Dirkwind: Elf

Consistent pattern>Male Elves tend to take after the French, female Elves gravitate towards the Dutch.

Jarl Ironstone: Dwarf

Oarl Ironstone: Dwarf

Caarl Ironstone: Dwarf

Consistent pattern>Dwarves have a common pattern first name wise, detect it alrdy?

Ní dhéanfadh an saol capall rása d'asal

If there are any unspoken scandals plaguing every manner of fantasy fiction, it will be the fact that post 90% of the authors can't be bothered in creating characters of varying colours. By colours, I'm NOT referring to colours like the Lannisters, Targaryens, Starks and Baratheons. I'm talking abt characters fitting the below requirements:

1. They're humans, not elves, dwarves or etc.

2. They're any colour but white.

This reminds me of an unpleasant episode during my secondary school where a classmate asked me whether it feels nice being treated as a clown. My answer was no. Then he told me to shut up just b/c I happened to react the wrong way. My only problem with him? He was actually equally, if not more culpable on the same count.

I'd like to say J.R.R Tolkien was the one to start this trend, but I can't judge for the world. What I do know is this-Tolkien was truly the one defining contemporary high fantasy and this includes a culture otherwise known as men in white. If anybody has a beef with writers like Tolkien or Lewis just because they're capable of destroying S'pore's racial and religious harmony, my answer is to you is this:

In the world of political correctness, talk is cheap. It's one thing to talk abt race and racism, quite another to realise that after all these years of hard work, you're sub-consciously guilty on an equal scale.

Heihou no Tae'Geuk: Cinha

Kagetsu no Hyo'Ah: Cinha

Nanaya no Geun'Jin: Cinha

Note-While Cinha are quintessentially my own ver of East Asians, I decided to create a systematic variation so as to speak.

Looks wise, think Korean.

Society wise, think Chinese.

Culture wise, think Japanese.

Politics wise, think East Asian.

Marges: Sudhlit

Ithi: Sudhlit

Kish, i.e. Tristan's actual first name: Sudhlit

Note-Sudhlits are literally Tamils. If I end up insulting any caste purist, my advice is this: Better for you to go watch some pr0n.

Nurmai yal’ Zahr: Tamurian

Aeranath: technically one as well

Note-Tamurians are literally Malays. If I end up insulting any white Christian warrior, my advice is this: Better for you to go watch some interracial pr0n.

To be cont'd...

A/N: After some prior deliberation, I decided to devote This Known World to the more serious in-universe stuff. Hence my decision to put this post in That Random Blade.

Shameless self plug 4 teh lolz!

P.S: There is a need for me to finish my Zhang Liang series. Due to the nature of Xiang Yu vs Liu Bang being eerily similar to recent events of late, I decided to put it on hold first. This is NOT to say I will wait until the conflicts are over. Rather, my muse might have committed temporary harakiri.

Add P.S: In a bid to distract (?) myself recently, I admit to being guilty of playing too much Marvel Heroes. When you realised your Nightcrawler has became super imba due to your own making, plenty of shit will ensue. Don't believe me, go try your luck after kitting the new and improved Kurt Wagner with Sandals of Hercules+Hydra Sonic Emitter+Soulsword. I'm talking this up via personal experience, the gods at Marvel should just say something like...

"**** it, guys. Let's just give Nightcrawler the Soulsword for good since the fans are more eager to see an impressed Scarlet Witch rather than an equally impressed Black Cat."

Houston, I got a problem here...

They say weird things happen to weird ppl, shit always happen to good ppl. Today, I discovered my wireless network has gone to shit. Like some ranting justice king, my internet has officially gone on strike. Don't believe me?

Mainly my FB and Blogger can load decently, but not 90% of the rest. iirc it actually took my 1 or 2 tries to reload my blogspot/G+ account. Tried to call Singtel helpline, can't get through. Msg went something like "Network busy". In short, either I'm facing a nationwide crisis or... well, guess there might really be ppl who are:

1. unhappy with me even though I'm still a nobody.

2. due to point 1, it means these very same blokes are out to do funny stuff aplenty with my internet+cell phone.

For the sake of others, I rather myself to be paranoid here...

But anyway...

...since I have nothing better to do, might as well do a random stuff or more abt Marvel Heroes. Interestingly enough, MH is now currently undergoing network maintenance (must be b/c of some funny bs happening last night. Game was uncharacteristically laggy last night w/my Nightcrawler experiencing his own time freeze moment or two during Mob-rush Manhattan). Since I've alrdy got 3 characters in my roster, might as well share a bit or more on my current thoughts.
Correction: Above stated problem is due to Brimstone Blitz going light speed modal.

Black Panther

Really like my current BP, most likely I won't spend 65 Eternal Splinters for teh lulz again. I think it took me 2 Retcon Devices to put right my current T'Challa. atm, I do NOT have 4 Legendary Blessings befitting a lvl 60 hero. Rather, I only have like 3 Legendary Blessings out of 4.

1. Legendary Blessing of Odin

2. Legendary Blessing of Hogun

3. Legendary Blessing of Loki

On numero uno, I find it quite useful in a sense that not only does it give me 5% bonus in anti-boss damage, the best thing is the whole 7 Spirit recovery upon defeating an enemy thingy. Given that my current Black Panther is horrendously short on max Spirit (the fact that my current main [?] actually has more Spirit despite only at lvl 53 really says a lot), I really need plenty of Spirit recovery. Ofc given that T'Challa is literally a hybrid-DPS, having his fearsome twosome IS a MUST. On that count, it means that I need to get 2 Legendary Blessings of Frigga. Nothing less should suffice. Period.

On Hogun, 'tis a no-brainer since this is all abt boosting your ratings for Defense and Physical Damage by 3%.  I know some will pull this off, but allow me to add in that whatever 3% bonus conferred is calculated via the base value, i.e. 3% of your base health & 3% of your base Physical Damage. It might not amount to anything much, but... more on that later on.

Legendary Blessing of Loki... erm I actually moved that Blessing to my Nightcrawler. -_-

Going by the equation... it should go something like 2 Frigga, 1 Odin and 1 Hogun.

Omega

Reallocating the Omega points ain't too difficult (and to set the record straight, god ol'Ryolnir is actually kind enough to do that Omega pts reset every now and then). Basically, I plonked much of my OPs on Terrigen Mist and Shadow King's Possession. I suggest placing 1 rank for TM no matter what due to that 1% probability per hit (which means no matter what, you should be able to activate your merry +1 bonus for just abt any one stat apart from Intelligence & Fighting).

And yeah, Hogun+SKP=this. And I've yet to get Frigga atm.

Invisible Woman

Insanely enough, I ended up pulling off a Wakanda relic for her. This is due to 3 factors:

1. I favored a Defensive upgrade.

2. I favored a Life regain per hit custom core.

3. I favored Doc Ock medallion (even better if we're talking abt cosmic ver here).

The only tricky part? I need to use her more since Stormy Sue's gameplay is something quite unique. I'm someone used to playing offensive, no matter whether it's DPS attrition (Black Panther=Mogga) or DPS+DTS hit+run (Nightcrawler=Pochettino). Invisible Woman is best used as vital support (Southgate?), this means I won't suggest anyone crazy enough to do a terminal solo on Kingpin, M.O.D.O.K, Doom or Kurse (note that these blokes tend to play mob swarm [Kingpin is arguably the worst as he'll call in Elektra & Bullseye as boss tier back up], so pls feel free to go all out on the contrary if you're not walking alone. imo playing 2 character raid party is enough, 3 member party=SPG galore*).

*Do NOT take my words out of real context!**

**Smackdown Party Girl ain't someone you'd associate w/Sarong Party Girls. Period.

1st impression=Levitating Disc is crap. NO! LD is the BEST shit you'll ever get, so go ahead and up this power till like 10+ or so. Def you shouldn't do a LD on anywhere below 10 or 11. Ideally, you should up this at 13 or so (this is provided you've pumped enough power pts on Invisibility in order to regain Spirit). iirc against mob spawn bosses (esp on terminals), you'll need plenty of fly-about in order to land stuff like Resonating Wave or Storm of Spheres. Okay, I'm technically lying since doing a RW-SoS loop on a continual basis is your only hope in getting out alive. Which is why I favored Relic of Wakanda.

(note: due to an absurdly crap durability, using a Radioactive Isotope which confers life+spirit regen+invulnerability is a must once you get it)

(add note: I've yet to try out Stormy Sue on a higher lvl basis [she's only at lvl 32 lol!], so I believe I'll need at least 1 Retcon to reset every singled damn shit at lvl 47 or so.*)

*Thank goodness I ran too much Manhattan on T'Challa. Which means I've yet to take Bullseye out cleanly to the cleaner for Heroic difficulty, let alone Super Heroic.

Oh and one more thing: you'll really need to max out her Invisible Combat & Personal Force Field. Max out only 1 of her Focus oriented attacks due to the presence of Combat Force Fields (basically it means having 3 passives to max out). With 2 power pts given at least (well, her Intelligence is the average median of 3 anyway and that's ignoring whether she'll gain any permanent Intelligent bonus), it should be easy.

A/N-Realized Quantum Compression has to be shittiest signature ever. That is unless you're willing to create synergy play w/Shield Dome. Something like QC>SD>mass QC detonate.

DISCLAIMER!

Probability of epic failure on the above mentioned experiment shall NOT be held liable to my credibility b/c this is something formulated only in theory.

Just like actual communism if I say so myself.

Blessings [tentatively] recommended: 1 Loki+3 Volstagg. Or if you feel like it, 1 Loki+1 Heimdall+2 Volstagg or 1 Heimdall+3 Volstagg.

FANTASTIC ALERT!

Apparently, Storming Sue can boast quite a punch in terms of Defense rating once properly kitted. That plus I've got this impression that her Mental & Energy Defense ain't shabbily shafted either. Basically, this means two things. Defensive upgrade is a must in the name of survival while maxing out Kevlar (mainly for Physical Defense boost albeit it also confers Energy Defense boost) for your Omega is equally important, if not more vital. Also put 1 pt each for both Life regen Omega skills w/Doom Armor being the closest 3rd in priority.

A/N-Ever wonder how to use the Great Kahuna? Buy 1 for 100 conch (or is it 150?), donate the rest, and max out the Great Kahuna monster on Invisible Woman.

Nightcrawler

Currently my joint main w/Black Panther, perfecting his build was quite excruciating in terms of Retcon spam. I think I used around 3 RDs on him lol! But the result is worth it. As they say, you learn something new every day. The average S'porean will call me siao, try telling that to a certain Jaeshi (sp?) if you happen to recognize him playing Guilty Gear or BlazBlue. I do NOT know Jaeshi personally apart from watching him using ridiculously crap tier characters for Guilty Gear (Anji for GGXX and Order Sol for GGAC) and BlazBlue (Bang for BBCT and Tsubaki for BBCS upon realizing Bang has became god Bang).

Using NC is all abt maxing out 3 passives, namely Incredible Acrobatics, Master Swordsman and Heartseeker Guard. IA & HG are a no-brainer (you'll need those IA to survive and HG for counteroffensive), but why MS? b/c you'll need a maxed out Sword skill to compliment whatever imba DoT+DPS mode. With Sabre Swipe as your starting Sword skill, it means upping Flash and Grab till 20 or so=a must. FnG might have been nerfed, but do NOT underestimate its crowd pull factor. Just like how NC was a crap character plot impact wise, FnG tends to divide opinions among gamers and fans alike. Just like how NC is still a fan fave after undergoing a semi-literal trip to the Mandai Crematorium, a semi-quasi trip to Hell, a literal trip Heaven and literally back again, FnG remains the MH equivalent of the local ladies' man. After all that's said and done, try using FnG>SS combo. Due to the narrow circular AoE for SS, it's extremely easy to one-shot 2-3 green grunts (and that's discounting Kurt Wagner's X-Factor, otherwise known as super 变态 crit/brutal hit game).

As if it's not enough, try throwing Infernal Brimstone into the mix. By upping it till 20 (def only an idiot will up IB beyond the 20 mark), it basically means a heaven sent one shot against elite mob. A word of note tho: To make this work, you'll need Shadowmeld in order to pull off an upgraded Bamf Bomb. Whether NC is able to crowd-pull large targets below Sentinel lvl remains to be seen. Maybe boleh, but maybe tak boleh since I'm not too sure whether a Strength 4 NC can really pull this off (to set the record the straight, I've experienced actual success on the occasional mech-pull prior to my final re-upgrade).

MS truly shines in terms of FnG>X-Slash. This is arguably your boss kill tactic. In short, max out only X-Slash sword skill wise. Effective mix up w/Agile Strike means NC can easily sustain himself for prolonged DPS pwnage. A word of important note tho:

Make sure to have River of the Soul for whichever lvl 50 Uru equipment. Strongly recommend either War Plate (+800 Defense rating) or War Ax (+400 Melee damage rating). Apart from the gloves (which confers Physical damage buff instead), the rest are not even crap, i.e. the other 2 are literally redundant.
Correction: X-Slash>Death Blow=even more kickass. Throw in RF and DB can/will effectively become NC's final hand. Now if only Arc System Works will try and make Kurt Wagner playable for either BlazBlue or Guilty Gear. :)

For Righteous Frenzy, you cam max it out w/ease so long you're comfy w/doing a RF>XS sequence. Melee X-treme X-Man anyone? I've alrdy hit lvl 53 w/NC. Basically it means I've unlocked Brimstone Blitz, it means Nightcrawler is officially the Amazing Melee X-Man of MH.

Current Omega focus:

Terrigen Mist (1% probability=+1 Durability/Strength/Speed/Energy=3 useful stats out of 4)

Kevlar (Much needed Defense boost for Physical & Energy)

2 Life regen skills (If you end up spamming Shadowmeld to save your ass more oft than not, it means you're not doin' it right)

Harpy+Psi-Ops (refer to Ideal Blessings, saving the best part for the last)

Ideal Blessings:

1 Loki+1 Volstagg+2 Fandral or 1 Volstagg+3 Fandral. Due to NC's super 变态 critical/brutal damage game, I'd personally lean towards LV2F.

P.S: We all know having a BFF [Best Friend Forever] is mostly a girl thing complete with rabbit ears, Siloso Beach and bikini.

However, there's nothing girly abt Kurt Wagner's 3 BFF [Badass Friends Forever].

BFF satu (reminds me of somebody I dunno personally)>Brains and Brawn

BFF dua (Marvel should just go all out and resurrect Excalibur for good)>Siberian Strongman

BFF tiga (same first name, but def not Mr Eric Soh)>Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D

My pick?

#TeamBlueFurry

Pointless P.S: Because Nightcrawler deserves some romantic love post-Heaven, I might as well put my national beauties on display.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall... who is the Scarlet Witch of them all?

Notable freaks: X-Men or X-Force?

Either way, we're talking abt biological products from the good ol'north east Teesside. To quote my elder cousin in the GH... As if lol!

Philipp Lahm aka Scott Summers

Mesut Özil aka Nathan Summers

Manuel Neuer aka Piotr Rasputin

André Schürrle aka Remy LeBeau

Mario Götze aka Kurt Wagner

Bastian Schweinsteiger aka that Logan

(also known as the bloke who might have indirectly won the World Cup b/c of his Iron Cross)

P.S: Because I enjoy being a narcissistic jerk...

??? aka Wade Wilson

"I always forget (or just black out to spare myself the agony) what Wilson's most lethal weapon is... his mouth! He'll talk nonsense until you surrender or commit suicide."

~Domino

El Estratega: Cinco

This is the story of a guy, 0. 0 is someone w/o a life. For 10+ yrs, he's been struggling w/2 things.

1. The fact that he felt unwanted by the society.

2. The fact that no girl likes him.

0 didn't know what's wrong w/himself, this actually continued till his working days. Nearing 30 w/nothing next to shit future wise. No good income for his future, no self esteem for himself and no gf to make him feel loved.

During work, he ended up having a crush on a few girls working in another dept. Numero uno was virtually unattainable due to her beauty, numero dos was pretty much the same due to how 0 perceived her character. Numero tres would most likely nvr choose him, numero cuatro... well basically comparing her to 0 is like comparing Wanda Maximoff with Nightcrawler. [1]

Then it happened. Somehow or another, numero tres seemed to notice 0. But only twice that is. 0 couldn't let go of the question whether numero tres really noticed him or not. Hence, he chose to believe it as coincidence. A freak one that is.

One aimless passion led to something wildly beyond his dreams. 0 started a blog b/c he got nothing better to do. Said blog got canned b/c 0 was and still is a virtual zero in terms of interaction. Then 0 started his 2nd blog. Somehow or another, blog numero dos became a big hit. To see his local blog garnering local hits may be natural, but there's nothing natural over the fact that his main audience hail from all over the world. Got countries speaking English, also got many countries that doesn't speak English in a general sense. Got China, ofc natural. Also got S.Korea and Japan, that one confirm unnatural.

People now seemed to start noticing 0. Subtle respect given via courtesy is now an everyday occurrence. His parents and sister now prefer to give some major breathing space. 0 dared not believe his eyes and ears, 0 preferred believing everything was just this: a freak coincidence. The fact that the CEO of his workplace friend requested him on FB may seem like nothing. The only catch? He didn't know said CEO got FB account.
Plenty of A*Star individuals have started taking major notice of 0's little red dot of a nation. First to come was some special guest from Portugal who happened to be quite prideful in terms of all things football. That was like shortly after Portugal won Denmark during Euro 2012. Then others started following suit, not the least that Portuguese's imminent big boss.

So how about 0's love life? Due current circumstances perceived, 0 developed a sharp sensitivity in terms of his surroundings. Numero tres seemed to have undergone some kind of major makeover and this makeover actually coincided with the period where 0 suddenly felt not so zero. In a weird twist of fate however, numero tres got a bf. Only that it's not 0.

So did 0 feel hurt? Amazingly enough, the answer is a resounding no.
[to be cont'd later soon (in part 6 or 7, sorry...)]

We got the Great Singapore Sale, history got the Great Han Bailout

沛公之从雒阳南出轘辕，良引兵从沛公，下韩十余城，击破杨熊军。沛公乃令韩王成留守阳翟，与良俱南，攻下宛，西入武关。沛公欲以兵二万人击秦峣下军，良说曰：“秦兵尚强，未可轻。臣闻其将屠者子，贾竖易动以利。愿沛公且留壁，使人先行，为五万人具食，益为张旗帜诸山上，为疑兵，令郦食其持重宝啖秦将。”

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Duke of Pei emerged from Luoyang, his forces marching till Huanyuan. Liang led his forces to follow him. As a result, a score of Han cities were taken down with Yang Xiong's army routed. The Duke of Pei ordered the King of Han, Cheng, to defend Yangdi as Liang continued his journey with the Duke of Pei down south. The land of Wan was subsequently conquered, their men advancing westbound into the Wu pass. The Duke of Pei attempted to attack the Qin forces deployed at the lower high ground with twenty thousand men. Liang said thus: "The Qin army remains strong, we must not underestimate them. Your lowly vassal heard that their general is murderous in nature, yet opportunistic when it comes to self profiting. May m'lord stay behind while sending men ahead of us. Fifty thousand will suffice, they must be encamped at the surrounding mountains as decoys. As for the enemy commander, Li Yiji can bribe him with valuable treasures."

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

So we now have it! The first climax belonging to Zhang Liang! Wait, that sounds a bit wrong... okay nvr mind. So apparently, it's blatantly implied that during the standoff, the Qin forces managed to recoup their losses, i.e. retaking some of the territories previously held by the Han army. Remember what I've said in the previous part on skirmishes and the necessity behind curbstomping the bullies?

Let it be known that the army commanded by Liu Bang was most likely nowhere better than the rest. Or maybe try imagining things this way:

Do you think Boro has a squad better than the rest in the Championship?

Do you think Boro can compete with the likes of Fulham, Cardiff and Norwich?

Do you think we have 11 million quids to spend?

Do you think we really ended up signing Lewis "not Hamilton" Grabban?

Do you even think Gibbo is actually a Malaysian coming from the north east?

OH HELL NO!

We don't have a better squad b/c this is the Championship, the type of league capable of footballing feats eclipsing whatever David-Goliath moments in domestic cups.

We don't have the luxury of big $$$ parachute payouts approved by whoever upstairs last season.

11 million for Ross "not McCormick" McCormack? Refer above stated rant.

Norwich managed to grab Grabban, not us. Karanka chose to go Spanish modal once more since Real Murcia got some free scoring sucker willing to sign for us.

As for whether Gibbo is truly one hell of a Malaysian, you'll really have to ask his parents. [2]

So what truly made Liu Bang able to secure victory over an opposition more superior?

The Qin forces had the defensive advantage in terms of securing vital high ground (read: the horde of Chaos have pulled off a Zerg atop some bloody mountain!).

The Qin forces might also have boasted the advantage in numbers (read: the Orcs and Goblins are swarming like mob respawn!)

BUT...

There's a problem w/the Qin commander (no Beast of Chaos is ever free from being bloodthirsty w/o reason)

There's a problem w/the Qin comander (no worshiper of Gork and Mork is ever free from being your everyday schoolyard bully subjected under real idiocracy).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to bribe said commander (b/c Athel Loren is a place brimming with rumoured treasures).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to stage a fear tactic based on effective deployment via numbers+close proximity (hello, 50K is super a lot during the ancient times, okay?).

Final statement is virtually a case of the Asrai telling themselves "hey, let's deploy 5000 of our own like that. Maybe like 50 Waywatchers, 500 Wardancers, 1000 Glade Guards, 500 Glade Riders and the rest being our spanking new Wildwood Rangers lolz!"

The Qin commander was one bloody short sighted bastard, I will give him that. Not only was he a person who enjoyed killing the weak, he's also a yes man in the face of momentary profit. Sounds familiar to you? Don't worry, we all met this kind of bugger in school before. Scally you might even have this bugger in your office as well. #sianhalfmonday

In this world, the scariest kind of opponent you can come up against may not be the strongest bully in the playground. Rather, fear the kind of person capable of controlling that strongest bully just b/c that bloke is able to perceive things via his opponent's POV. It doesn't matter whether that guy looks like Robert Pattinson or Sorimachi Takashi, it doesn't matter whether he sparkles like Edward Cullen or whooping actual arseholes like Great Teacher Onizuka Eikichi himself. [3]

The outcome?

秦将果叛，欲连和俱西袭咸阳，沛公欲听之。良曰：“此独其将欲叛耳，恐士卒不从。不从必危，不如因其解击之。”

沛公乃引兵击秦军，大破之。遂北至蓝田，再战，秦兵竟败。遂至咸阳，秦王子婴降沛公。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Qin commander indeed rebelled, his intention being an ally (to the Duke of Pei) in order to assault Xianyang from the west. The Duke of Pei wanted to accede to the request, yet Liang advised against it by saying: "This is merely the intent of their commander, his men will surely not oblige. If we do not indulge him, we'd be courting danger. Best if we attack first."

Hence the Duke of Pei led his forces to attack the Qin army, the enemy routed as a result. Upon turning north till Lantian, the Qin army were defeated once again upon combat. Travelling till Xianyang at last, the Qin ruler Ziying surrendered to the Duke of Pei.

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

Herein we truly see Zhang Liang's moment of glory. Firstly, he accurately predicted two things, namely:

1. The army remained loyal, only the commander stayed a traitor.

2. If Liu Bang was to rebuff whatever fake olive branch offered, the Qin commander would surely rally his troops to fight Liu Bang. All in the name of loyalty, all in the name of actual hypocrisy.

If we can envision Zhang Liang's expression via a meme or two, it should be something like...

Steve once taught me the meaning of suck thumb, this has grown into my fave NSF jargon. Zhang Liang knew a suck thumb problem when he perceived one, he knew shit would be damned either way. If you're in Zhang Liang's shoes, what would you do? Don't tell me you'd say the same thing b/c that will be firing the horse backside cannon. [4]

When we're faced w/problems and questions, we tend to go by the textbook format. If Zhang Liang was somebody like that, then we won't see a Han dynasty. Chances are, we'd end up seeing Xiang Yu becoming the 2nd Emperor of China. This IS the mark of true blue talent, someone capable of making things happen like a true blue genius.

Someone (I forgot who, heard it from Neil Humphreys) from Everton once said that grit is up there (in the heavens), flair is somewhere below in his trousers. My apologies if I got the club wrong, but can we blame England for being Engrand? This is proof of textbook generic thinking, NOT the mark of an actual true blue local talent! Who are we to say there are only two options? Who are we to say that there's no path numero tres? Rules are meant to be followed, circumstances are NOT meant for the rules.

So what was Zhang Liang's path numero tres? Self explanatory, triple efficiency.

Combat analysis via footie speak

Attacking the opponent when they least expect it. Hypocrites call it cowardice, proponents of literal efficiency call it the only way or the highway. Honour only counts where it matters most, i.e. the outcome. No Bretonnian moron will ever say "we won despite losing because of honour!" if said idiot ended up getting sniped by Skarloc the Mistwalker. Want to boast abt honour, wait till you get the results first. Want to boast abt being a scoundrel, make sure you get away w/it first.

This is where DFB-Elf holds the advantage as the fastest counterattacking team of 2014. If Argentina play it safe, Joachim "not Daisy Hi-Lo" Löw has Toni "die Tonika" Kroos and Thomas "die Meeräsche" Müller. If Argentina play aggro, the Krauts will get high due to Sami "die WTF?!" Khedira and Bastian "die Bastion" Schweinsteiger getting super high.

Pursuing the opponent is one thing, defeating them despite a mass tactical re-roll on their part speaks volumes on two factors, namely momentum and knowing where to chase them. This is like playing Nightcrawler, a character consistently in the imba tier when it comes to every video game licensed by Marvel. [5] I dunno abt you, but I believe Kurt Wagner should be played as a hit+run melee rogue where simple combos should be the key to real badassery. [6]

This where La Albiceleste holds the edge. Make no mistake abt it, Estádio Maracanã is the antithesis of Britannia. It's like playing in the Riverside minus the fanfare and respect. Once you boss the possession, anything is possible. 'Tis one thing to do a tactical re-roll, quite another to force the opponent's hand via possession+movement+momentum.

Prediction: Sorry, I'm not Zhang Liang or Guo Jia. If Twitter allows me to choose two teams instead of one, surely it'll be the 2 teams in the Grande Finale. [7]

To be cont'd...

[1]: "Kurt, you are one charming devil." Did Scarlet Witch actually said that in Marvel Heroes? :o

[2]: Bar an absolute failure, you can try obtaining DNA sample so that the real Hank McCoy can lend his expertise.

[3]: NSFW WARNING!!!!!!!!

[4]: In Mr Eric Soh's own words, it's called 放马后炮.

[5]: Proof that Marvel actually felt guilty for dissing Kurt's mass appeal? Guess so...

[6]: Which is why fighting Dr Doom on Terminal mode=greatest "boss rush" challenge ever.

[7]: Refer back to what Mr Eric Soh said pls... :P

Note of self-wankery:

Since 99% of those sharing my surname are most likely scoundrels or nobodies, might as well I add this vid below to sate my own ego... :D

Lyrics