#AllOurAncestorsComeFromTeesside
The Great Han Bailout
Singapore got its very own Great Singapore Sale, the Chu-Han War also had its own Great Han Bailout. You see, the difference between sale and bailout is quite apparent. Allow my Minghui-matics to do the parallel.
Women sold into sex slavery>>sale
Women liberated from sex slavery>>bailout
In this part, we'll explore how someone who looked like a girl managed to secure that Great Han Bailout.
A/N: This post might be rather short b/c said bailout only entails two events.
Gifted Bastard, Greedy Bastard
[汉四年，韩信破齐而欲自立为齐王，汉王怒。张良说汉王，汉王使良授齐王信印，语在淮阴事中。]《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著
[汉四年，遂皆降平齐。使人言汉王曰：“齐伪诈多变，反复之国也，南边楚，不为假王以镇之，其势不定。愿为假王便。”
当是时，楚方急围汉王于荥阳，韩信使者至，发书，汉王大怒，骂曰：“吾困于此，旦暮望若来佐我，乃欲自立为王！”
张良、陈平蹑汉王足，因附耳语曰：“汉方不利，宁能禁信之王乎？不如因而立，善遇之，使自为守。不然，变生。”
汉王亦悟，因复骂曰：“大丈夫定诸侯，即为真王耳，何以假为！”
乃遣张良往立信为齐王，征其兵击楚。]
《史记; 淮阴侯列传》
司马迁著
Trans:
During the fourth year of Han, Han Xin vanquished the vassal state of Qi. Desiring to make himself the King of Qi, the King of Han was enraged as a result. However, Zhang Liang advised the King of Han to accede to Han Xin's request. Hence, the King of Han sent Liang as an envoy to impart the royal seal of Qi unto Xin. Details of said event are recorded in the account of Huaiyin]
《Annals of History: Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian
During the fourth year of Han, the vassal state of Qi was finally subjugated. An envoy was sent, telling the King of Han: "The state of Qi will always be a traitorous nation. With its location at the south of Chu, a temporary King must be installed to pacify whatever rebellious elements present. Your humble vassal is willing to undertake this task."
At that time, the forces of Chu were besieging the King of Han at Xianyang. Upon receiving such word from Han Xin's envoy, the King of Han flew into a rage.
"I am now trapped here, hoping that you'll come to my aid. How dare you ask me to make you a King!"
Zhang Liang and Chen Ping then kicked the King of Han at the leg, whispering thus: "We are now in dire straits, how can we afford to refuse Han Xin's request? He must be made King and be treated with respect. If so, he will remain loyal. If not, he will rebel."
At last understanding, the King of Han resumed his cursing: "A great man capable of subjugating rebellious lords must be made a true King. Why must one like him be merely a temporary one?"
Thus, Zhang Liang was sent to made Xin the King of Qi while gathering Han Xin's men to attack Chu.]
《Annals of History: Account of the Marquis of Huaiyin》
Written by Sima Qian
Analysis:
When you're on the up, everyone wants to be your friend. When you're totally down, everybody wants to shoot the dog. No matter how idealistic you claim yourself to be, this is reality. The world and history has told us this much. It doesn't matter whether you've got the mandate from that man upstairs. People will desert you once they feel disillusioned, never mind feeling betrayed. [1]
The same goes for Liu Bang as well. His alliance was in danger of dissolving [2], Han Xin managed to pull one goal back for #TeamHan.
The only problem?
Han Xin wanted to be someone far greater than some mere grand commander.
The greatest problem?
He chose the wrong time to do so.
Can you imagine Erdoğan demanding Syria to cede the town of Kobane unto the Turkish rule post-ISIS? I know this what-if sounds absurd, but how Assad would feel is basically how Liu Bang felt here. Now I'm not implying Turkey will bail Kobane out since certain things are not meant to be refuted. My point is that when you're in trouble, you don't expect your most powerful friend to ask something like...
"Eh, I really like that girl who happens to be your stead's BFF. Can introduce her to me? Really like that type who is a bit dark, and also very vivacious. I confirm will be a very nice bf and a very hiong lover one. Confirm guarantee plus chop."
I don't know about you, but if I have a girlfriend and a friend of mine happened to ask me this question...
Enter the twin talents, Zhang Liang and Chen Ping. By kicking Liu Bang, they're quite obviously not trying break his leg. [3] Granted true, Han Xin was being unreasonable. After all, he should have known his boss' current situation. Yet, they also reminded Liu Bang what kind of employee Han Xin was. It's one thing to be a jerk, quite another to be a life saving jerk.
Staying true to his political acting chops, Liu Bang converted his personal anger into righteous anger. By improvising on whatever said just now, Liu Bang managed to create his own PR coup.
In life, you can't have your cake and eat it at the same time. It's one thing detesting that bugger seated just next to you, quite another to ask yourself whether said bugger is the only man able to bail you out... [4]
Powerful Bastards, Valuable Bastards
[其秋，汉王追楚至阳夏南，战不利而壁固陵，诸侯期不至。良说汉王，汉王用其计，诸侯皆至。语在项籍事中。]
《史记; 留侯世家》
司马迁著
[汉欲西归，张良、陈平说曰：“汉有天下太半，而诸侯皆附之。楚兵罢食尽，此天亡楚之时也，不如因其机而遂取之。今释弗击，此所谓‘养虎自遗患’也。”
汉王听之。汉五年，汉王乃追项王至阳夏南，止军，与淮阴侯韩信、建成侯彭越期会而击楚军。至固陵，而信、越之兵不会。楚击汉军，大破之。汉王复入壁，深堑而自守。谓张子房曰：“诸侯不从约，为之柰何？”
对曰：“楚兵且破，信、越未有分地，其不至固宜。君王能与共分天下，今可立致也。即不能，事未可知也。君王能自陈以东傅海，尽与韩信；睢阳以北至谷城，以与彭越：使各自为战，则楚易败也。”
汉王曰：“善。”
于是乃发使者告韩信、彭越曰：“并力击楚。楚破，自陈以东傅海与齐王，睢阳以北至谷城与彭相国。”
使者至，韩信、彭越皆报曰：“请今进兵。”
韩信乃从齐往，刘贾军从寿春并行，屠城父，至垓下。大司马周殷叛楚，以舒屠六，举九江兵，随刘贾、彭越皆会垓下，诣项王。]
《史记; 项羽本纪》
司马迁著
Trans:
[Come the same autumn, the King of Han pursued the forces of Chu unto south of Yangxia. Upon facing a setback, the King of Han could only choose to retreat and hold fort in Guling. Alas, the various lords had yet to come to his aid. Upon hearing Zhang Liang's advice, the King of Han decided to follow suit. Indeed the various lords soon flocked to his aid. Details of said event are recorded in the account of Xiang Ji]
《Annals of History: Marquis of Liu》
Written by Sima Qian
[The forces of Han desired to return west. Zhang Liang and Chen Ping, however, said: "Now that Han possess more than half of the lands, the lords have all pledged allegiance unto us. The soldiers of Chu were already tired and their supply running low. Indeed heaven had announced the demise of Chu. Why not attack since there's a chance? If we're to let them go, this would be rearing a tiger for future harm."
The King of Han listened. Come the fifth year of Han, the King of Han pursued the King of Xiang unto south of Yangxia. Stopping there, he intended to join forces with the Marquis of Huaiyin (Han Xin) and the Marquis of Jiancheng (Peng Yue) to attack the Chu army. Upon reaching Guling, both Xin and Yue's army were nowhere to be found. The army of Chu attacked the forces of Han and gained a huge victory. Retreating once again, the King of Han was forced to defend deeply. Seeking Zhang Zifang's counsel, the King of Han asked: "The lords have yet to be seen. What must we do?"
Zhang Liang replied: "The army of Chu had just earned themselves a reprieve while Xin and Yue had yet to be allotted their own share of land. Hence, their tardiness. If a ruler can share his territory with others, he must made it known. If not, then the outcome will be unknown. M'lord can grant the King of Qi (i.e. Han Xin) the eastern lands stretching till the sea; as for Chancellor Peng (i.e. Peng Yue), he can be given the lands north of Suiyang till the city of Gu. Once both are motivated to battle for themselves, the Chu army can be defeated easily."
Hence, envoys were sent to both Han Xin and Peng Yue with this plea: "May you start deploying the forces now."
Han Xin then attacked from the lands of Qi as Liu Jia's army followed suit from Shouchun, both armies laying waste to the cities and their people. Ultimately, they reached Gaixia. The Grand Commandant Zhou Yin then betrayed Chu, his men from the Shu prefecture destroying six other prefectures. The soldiers from Jiujiang then heeded his (Zhou Yin's) call, their combined numbers meeting up with Liu Jia and Peng Yue at Gaixia. All for the sake of attacking the King of Xiang.
To be cont'd...
[1]: Wait... that sounds oddly familiar...
[2]: In the same way crisis is a-coming to my beloved Teesside due to Higgy's sudden departure.
[3]: Sorry for the piss poor quality here...
[4]: This NOT me throwing whatever little weight behind Higgy. Okay, there's such a thing called diff in opinions. So what? The current fight against the ISIS is full of differences in opinions anyway...
[5]: I don't profess to know even a word of español, let alone simple castellano. But still I find this El Clásico'kay weirdly amusing...
[6]: Ironically, Zhang Liang ended up being Liu Bang's numero uno choice for Chancellor after the war.
[7]: Just don't ask me whether Snoop Dogg has any hand in Super Mario grabbing coins like a Jew.
[8]: Quite a bit like how Hong Kong stock market shares tend to take a massive tumble whenever Adam Cheng did a new drama.
Hence, envoys were sent to both Han Xin and Peng Yue with this plea: "May you start deploying the forces now."
Han Xin then attacked from the lands of Qi as Liu Jia's army followed suit from Shouchun, both armies laying waste to the cities and their people. Ultimately, they reached Gaixia. The Grand Commandant Zhou Yin then betrayed Chu, his men from the Shu prefecture destroying six other prefectures. The soldiers from Jiujiang then heeded his (Zhou Yin's) call, their combined numbers meeting up with Liu Jia and Peng Yue at Gaixia. All for the sake of attacking the King of Xiang.
《Annals of History: Records of Xiang Yu》
Written by Sima Qian
Analysis:
Liu Bang's current predicament was oddly like something happening N years later @the north east of England. Long story short, I doubt Karanka will escape sanctions coming from that UN of English football. And all for what? Because he was rightfully accused of disrespect towards the authorities taking the black. Now that Karanka is in the danger of taking that literal black, what are we to do? Who do we call? This guy? And lest we forget, whatever vicious rumours circulating over Higgy's departure won't go away just because Go Dok-mi happened to be a victim of online slander. [5]
Interestingly, it seems that Peng Yue has attained the status of Chancellor [6] even before Liu Bang managed to unify the whole of China. In short, the two amigos calling the heaviest shot were Han Xin and Peng Yue. As for Qing Bu, it can be argued that since he's born a scoundrel (i.e. an outlaw), his level of respect was virtually zero. [7] Ofc it didn't prevent him being joint first w/Han Xin and Peng Yue in the whole Executioner/Paingiver ranking.
So there we have it: double action with twice the fun. While Han Xin's actions managed to galvanise Liu Jia into taking the same action, Zhou Yin actually took the chance to rebel. Granted that 90% of the vassal population was alrdy disillusioned w/their current boss, to see one prefecture's worth of military pwning a force six times the value is like seeing Boro putting 6 goals past Mad Ian's lads.
Let this be known: when Han Xin and Peng Yue decided to attack from their respective positions, their decision managed to create a chain reaction. Ever tried playing a Hunter Ranger at lvl 60? Ever tried doing a Feytouched effect via Fox's Shift? If you're like me as a Neverwinner, chances are that you'd realise the devastating effect wrecked on those dumbass cultists. Visualising this is like visualising the Han Xin+Peng Yue effect. [8]
The key thing lies NOT in tactics, but rather understanding the psyche of those involved. When Zhang Liang mentioned using both Han Xin and Peng Yue's self serving mentality as a weapon, two things must be taken into account.
1. Their decision must galvanise the rest in order to have an absolute chance of success (hence Zhang Liang's confidence that the Gaixia Screwjob would be Xiang Yu's Montreal Screwjob).
2. Behind every self serving intent lies a common end.
Point 1 is very easy to understand, but what about point 2? Allow this lowly strategist wannabe here to analyze this:
This weekend, we're going on a long trip down south. Quite a bit like how Robb Stark was intending to take down the Lannister dynasty mano-a-mano. Our only problem? Karanka confirm will kenna the banhammer, Higgy alrdy double confirm boh-liao...
Even if you're the most ardent Boro fan, it'd be hard to say "hey, let us put 6 past that barking mad Ian 4 teh lolz!"
Let us just do the simple Minghui-matics here...
Every Boro fan wearing the Red Shirt+desire to **** the living daylights out of those living bar codes next season=self serving bastard
Every player wearing the Red Shirt+desire to prove themselves=self serving bastard
Higgy wearing the Red Shirt+desire to see his lifelong dream achieved=self serving bastard
Karanka treated like a Red Shirt+desire to **** those men in black via results after 90 mins=self serving bastard.
Me living like a Red Shirt+desire to be El Estratega of Boro=self serving bastard
Amplify the word Self Serving Bastard. What do you get?
#SSB
[1]: Wait... that sounds oddly familiar...
[2]: In the same way crisis is a-coming to my beloved Teesside due to Higgy's sudden departure.
[3]: Sorry for the piss poor quality here...
[4]: This NOT me throwing whatever little weight behind Higgy. Okay, there's such a thing called diff in opinions. So what? The current fight against the ISIS is full of differences in opinions anyway...
[5]: I don't profess to know even a word of español, let alone simple castellano. But still I find this El Clásico'kay weirdly amusing...
[6]: Ironically, Zhang Liang ended up being Liu Bang's numero uno choice for Chancellor after the war.
[7]: Just don't ask me whether Snoop Dogg has any hand in Super Mario grabbing coins like a Jew.
[8]: Quite a bit like how Hong Kong stock market shares tend to take a massive tumble whenever Adam Cheng did a new drama.
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