B/c I feel like doing this...

Okay, 'tis a shit footballing day thus far. Boro lost 3-2 at home against Sheff Wed, thankfully Santa hasn't gone "ho ho ho!" yet. Is it too much for me to demand 3 pts from Blaugrana & Los Rojiblancos?

To Luis "not Suárez" Enrique:
Why not try Messi in the hole w/Luis "tidak lugi" Suárez leading the charge?
If Andrés "El Gegant" Iniesta is to play himself between the lines... well, I guess this idea is inspired by whatever little I've seen in Holland vs Spain 2014.
If Sergio "not Ramos" Busquets screws up, no one to save you...

To Diego "El Troll" Simeone:
Uno+Dos+Tres+Cuatro=Los Bastardos Desagradables

A/N: Apparently, above statements are reserved for the past. Now that we're most likely buried and dead against Reading, can I be a jerk towards Fandi Ahmad and Lions XII by saying there can only be one team for me? Sorry, but there's too much on the stake for the good ol' folks in Teesside compared to our Lions XII.

Add A/N: If anyone thinks I'm insulting anybody, I can only say perception at times is only a matter of the individual's mind. For any other circumstances, we call this manner of post either trolling or joking.

Final A/N: If I truly sound like a jerk, be assured that this is due to one cold hard truth. Namely two things.
1. I have to work on Sunday.
2. I know Sunday will suck terribly hard for me, no matter what.

...及军退，宣王案行其营垒处所，曰：“天下奇才也！”

Above statement refers to Sima Yi's reaction to his nemesis after Zhuge Liang kicked the bucket.

Apparently, Kongming is an expert in playing formation.
Apparently, defeat in his first northern campaign against Wei was the cause of whatever incorrect criticism leveled against Kongming's military acumen.

El Estratega: Ocho

Adomah's overhead kick goal disallowed due to dangerous play, Rooney's same stunt earned Utd a goal. Wonder if there's truly life after Howard Webb and Fergie... maybe I should try sending a resume over to Borussia Dortmund or Atlético Madrid? Maybe even Bayern Munich or Barcelona also?

A/N: If you think I'm for real, think again.

Dealing w/hantu and doing a hantu

沛公已出，项王使都尉陈平召沛公。沛公曰：“今者出，未辞也，为之柰何？”
樊哙曰：“大行不顾细谨，大礼不辞小让。如今人方为刀俎，我为鱼肉，何辞为。”
于是遂去。乃令张良留谢。良问曰：“大王来何操？”
曰：“我持白璧一双，欲献项王，玉斗一双，欲与亚父，会其怒，不敢献。公为我献之”
张良曰：“谨诺。”
当是时，项王军在鸿门下，沛公军在霸上，相去四十里。沛公则置车骑，脱身独骑，与樊哙、夏侯婴、靳强、纪信等四人持剑盾步走，从郦山下，道芷阳间行。沛公谓张良曰：“从此道至吾军，不过二十里耳。度我至军中，公乃入。”
沛公已去，间至军中，张良入谢，曰：“沛公不胜杯杓，不能辞。谨使臣良奉白璧一双，再拜献大王足下；玉斗一双，再拜奉大将军足下。”
项王曰：“沛公安在？”
良曰：“闻大王有意督过之，脱身独去，已至军矣。”
项王则受璧，置之坐上。亚父受玉斗，置之地，拔剑撞而破之，曰：“唉！竖子不足与谋。夺项王天下者，必沛公也，吾属今为之虏矣。”

《史记; 项羽本纪》

司马迁著

Trans:

When the Duke of Pei was already out, the King of Xiang sent the Capital Commandant, Chen Ping, to summon him. The Duke said (to Fan Kuai) thus: "For what matter did you ask me out here? I've yet to bid formal farewell."

Fan Kuai replied: "The other party is prepared to make mincemeat out of us, how can I stay still?"

Hence they promptly left while commanding Zhang Liang to stay back. Liang asked: "Why are you in a great hurry, m'lord?"

The Duke replied: "I have a pair of white jade which I wishes to give the King of Xiang. At the same time, I also have a pair of drinking vessels made of jade meant for godfather. Alas I fear for the latter's wrath, hence not daring to give. Please give them for me."

Zhang Liang said: "I understand."

By this time, the army of the King of Xiang were situated below Hongmen while the Duke of Pei already had his army at Bashang with a distance of forty li separating them. The Duke of Pei placed a carriage while escaping alone by horse. With Fan Kuai, Xiahou Ying, Jin Qiang and Ji Xing wielding shields and swords, they traveled from the foot of Mt Li till Zhiyang. The Duke of Pei said to Liang: "From here to our camp is only twenty li. Once I returned safely, you can return (back to Xiang Yu)."

When the Duke of Pei has reached his camp, Zhang Liang entered before Xiang Yu saying: "The Duke of Pei was unable to hold his liquor any longer, hence already left. As a compensation, he ordered me to offer this pair of white jade as a gift to m'lord. At the same time, there is also a pair of jade drinking vessels offered before you as well."

The King of Xiang asked: "Is the Duke of Pei well?"

Liang replied: "He actually heard that m'lord has the wish to punish him, hence he already departed alone and now back in his camp."

The King of Xiang received the white jade and place them at his seat. Fan Zeng, on the other hand, threw down the jade vessels and smashing them to pieces with a drawn sword. Then he said: "Aye! An immature boy is not good enough for my advise! He who shall take the land from the King of Xiang, surely that will be the Duke of Pei! We are now good as captured."

《Annals of History; Xiang Yu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:
This is virtually no diff from the bellend road screwjob. On one hand, we got sorely done by some ref who happened to the most hated man in Vicarage Road atm. On the other, we're only good enough to boss the match from the back till midfield. We lost 1-0, this is no diff from Liu Bang bailing out halfway with only 4 loyal amigos following him. If this is to be the world of blogosphere, that will mean one particular blogger remaining piss poor just b/c he failed to secure even 1K worth of followers.

Yet, it must also be stated that the fat lady haven't sung yet. Liu Bang was like that, ditto for my beloved Boro as well. To play it safe, Liu Bang actually asked Zhang Liang to stay behind! Can you imagine Karanka telling a valuable asset in his backroom staff that...

AK: Okay, I know you've mentioned before Lambert and Allen coming off the bench. I need to go Anfield temporarily.

??: Erm... okay, boss.

Above section is a skit, but there's nothing maen maen over the cold hard truth. Zhang Liang had to stay behind to allay Xiang Yu's suspicions. By now, all should have known Zhang Liang's position, let alone talent. Interestingly enough, Zhang Liang actually told Xiang Yu the truth. Why? Has he became orang hantu dua?

No, Zhang Liang has nvr been that orang hantu. Only one orang hantu, his name is orang hantu satu. By telling the Xiang Yu the truth, it means Zhang Liang understood perfectly what kind of person Xiang Yu was. If he lied even a single word, chances are that Xiang Yu would knew straightaway. It's just like me saying Stuart "not Attwell" Gray is gonna play 2 flat banks+high block against us at home. That'll be giving too much away. Telling Xiang Yu what he wanted to hear, i.e. Liu Bang being a useless coward, means putting his guard down. It's just like me telling Gray that Karanka will be going all out to win via 4-2-3-1 w/Tomlin in the hole.
Is this correct? Yes.
Is this a trick answer? Hell yeah.

Moral of the story?

Meme too cute, like her too damn much... (y)

Which is why when we see Fan Zeng's reaction, it's like imagining Nigel "not de Jong" Pearson warning the likes of Ronald "not McDonald" Koeman and Brendan "not Fraser" Rodgers beforehand of this for next season. [1]

Now back to our main (?) strategist...

汉元年正月，沛公为汉王，王巴蜀。汉王赐良金百镒，珠二斗，良具以献项伯。汉王亦因令良厚遗项伯，使请汉中地。项王乃许之，遂得汉中地。汉王之国，良送至褒中，遣良归韩。良因说汉王曰：“王何不烧绝所过栈道，示天下无还心，以固项王意。”

乃使良还。行，烧绝栈道。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Analysis:

Running out of time, need to zzzz soon. To summarise this passage, this is basically abt Liu Bang becoming the King of Han. The prelude to such a generous (?) treatment is this:

He sent precious gifts of gold and jewelry to Xiang Bo.

If we're talking abt the local law in S'pore, it should be this.

If we're talkin abt lawful means, basically it's Liu Bang begging Xiang Yu not sing that certain song which somehow made John McCain into a global household name. [2]

Contrary to popular belief, Zhang Liang wasn't the one telling Liu Bang to rebuild the bridge while reorganising his army into what I'd call The Great Iga-mono Movement. [3]

Also, it must be stated that Zhang Liang was actually Xiang Yu's envoy since every Chinese history buff would tell you the same thing when it comes to any era. [4]

Lastly, we got the part called calling the bluff. Remember my stupid fairy tale? Let me tell you what it means to call a bluff.

Numero tres realised for that for some reason, 0 wasn't the one for her. On the other hand, numero cuatro chose to bail out of the race b/c she believed her dearest amiga is 0's best choice for a gf. So imagine 0's shock when...

Mak ML: Eh, how do you pronounce 吴 in Cantonese?

0: ...

0 found it funny that Mak ML asked him this question despite admitting that she's Cantonese. Unable to shrug off that monkey buggering him, he went on Facebook to do some (quasi) illegal snooping. That was last year, he realised a couple of things.

Hi time to be Sherlock RDJ Holmes, folks! End of story (for now), but I need to ask you all some damning questions.

1. If numero cuatro was guilty of giving 0 a false Christian name that sounded weirdly like a certain nation fighting w/Jew Nation over the Golan Heights, does that mean something?

2. If numero cuatro was perfectly fine w/declaring her single+available status on FB, does it mean anything? Let's assume that she's actually a beautiful girl blessed with idealism towards love. I firmly believe this is something stereotypical SPGs will gladly scorn... :P

3. 0 has gotten himself into trouble b/c when he started sharing stuff from numero cuatro's account, others could easily track the trail. In short, no warning PMs or outright blocking. That is until December or so where it seems that she's trying to send a veiled msg via a gradual profile take-down rather than doing this one-shot.

4. 0 saw a G+ profile bearing her name. The only problem? There should be others bearing the same Christian name as well. The counter-problem? 0 realised there are actually blokes and gals working in the relevant dept having their own G+ account. And 0's blog is actually hosted on Google.

If you all think above section is too convoluted like some K-drama or 夜市人生, it's okay. Even 李友志 requires development and his very own heroic BSOD moment w/金大风. How abt football analysis then? A very simple one concerning the #BFF of #LFC, namely #BVB.

If you're Jürgen "not Kok" Klopp, what would you do in the face of dressing room hemorrhage? This is the exact kind of situation the best team in English south coast is currently facing [5]

Should he admit defeat before the German Shepherd press?

Mutiny will surely follow b/c the players would have broken faith with he-who-broke-bread-with-them.

Should he remain bullish in front of the German Shepherd press despite winning 2-0 against a Bayern Munich team operating on the same percentage of efficiency as Pep "not you, Pep" Guardiola? [6]

He'll still end up a loser since there's one thing in common between football and Singapore. [7]

In the freak chance where Kloppo is reading this, let me tell you this:

If the question never demand you to choose between ein and zwei, it means there has to be a drei lurking in the shadows like Kurt Wagner himself, no?

Moral of the story:

Disappointed Asian dad can now stop worrying.

We have a new problem here and his name is *make your guess lol!* [8]

[1]: And this is not to mention Pope Francis I asking who's that team they call the Boro.

[2]: Because I want AND need to be fair, saying Obama is guilty of singing a similar song concerning the Pentagon is equally immoral. Quite contrary to what others might think of me, I'm much more of a politics hater when it comes to the grand ol' US of A. No wonder why the Republicans were demanding answers over that Snowing-gate back then. No, I'm not being sarcastic here.

[3]: Alternatively known as Shinomori Aoshi and his (anti) merry Oniwabanshū.

http://kenshin.wikia.com/wiki/Shinomori_Aoshi

[4]: Most (?) notably Zhang Hong of Eastern Wu if we're using Cao Cao as Xiang Yu's parallel.

[5]: Apologies to Eddie "not Murphy" Howe if he happens to read this part. Via a freak chance ofc!

[6]: And by that, I'm hyperbole'ing Nightcrawler using his 'ports to take down Purifier grunts instead of random big-ass Sentinels.

[7]: Not the Juventus-Singapore match, but rather pragmatism.

[8]: Weirdly inspired by O Especial himself despite me not being a jerkass S.O.B in RL.

"Pepe has a problem and his name is Raphael Varane."

El Estratega: Cinco

This is the story of a guy, 0. 0 is someone w/o a life. For 10+ yrs, he's been struggling w/2 things.

1. The fact that he felt unwanted by the society.

2. The fact that no girl likes him.

0 didn't know what's wrong w/himself, this actually continued till his working days. Nearing 30 w/nothing next to shit future wise. No good income for his future, no self esteem for himself and no gf to make him feel loved.

During work, he ended up having a crush on a few girls working in another dept. Numero uno was virtually unattainable due to her beauty, numero dos was pretty much the same due to how 0 perceived her character. Numero tres would most likely nvr choose him, numero cuatro... well basically comparing her to 0 is like comparing Wanda Maximoff with Nightcrawler. [1]

Then it happened. Somehow or another, numero tres seemed to notice 0. But only twice that is. 0 couldn't let go of the question whether numero tres really noticed him or not. Hence, he chose to believe it as coincidence. A freak one that is.

One aimless passion led to something wildly beyond his dreams. 0 started a blog b/c he got nothing better to do. Said blog got canned b/c 0 was and still is a virtual zero in terms of interaction. Then 0 started his 2nd blog. Somehow or another, blog numero dos became a big hit. To see his local blog garnering local hits may be natural, but there's nothing natural over the fact that his main audience hail from all over the world. Got countries speaking English, also got many countries that doesn't speak English in a general sense. Got China, ofc natural. Also got S.Korea and Japan, that one confirm unnatural.

People now seemed to start noticing 0. Subtle respect given via courtesy is now an everyday occurrence. His parents and sister now prefer to give some major breathing space. 0 dared not believe his eyes and ears, 0 preferred believing everything was just this: a freak coincidence. The fact that the CEO of his workplace friend requested him on FB may seem like nothing. The only catch? He didn't know said CEO got FB account.
Plenty of A*Star individuals have started taking major notice of 0's little red dot of a nation. First to come was some special guest from Portugal who happened to be quite prideful in terms of all things football. That was like shortly after Portugal won Denmark during Euro 2012. Then others started following suit, not the least that Portuguese's imminent big boss.

So how about 0's love life? Due current circumstances perceived, 0 developed a sharp sensitivity in terms of his surroundings. Numero tres seemed to have undergone some kind of major makeover and this makeover actually coincided with the period where 0 suddenly felt not so zero. In a weird twist of fate however, numero tres got a bf. Only that it's not 0.

So did 0 feel hurt? Amazingly enough, the answer is a resounding no.
[to be cont'd later soon (in part 6 or 7, sorry...)]

We got the Great Singapore Sale, history got the Great Han Bailout

沛公之从雒阳南出轘辕，良引兵从沛公，下韩十余城，击破杨熊军。沛公乃令韩王成留守阳翟，与良俱南，攻下宛，西入武关。沛公欲以兵二万人击秦峣下军，良说曰：“秦兵尚强，未可轻。臣闻其将屠者子，贾竖易动以利。愿沛公且留壁，使人先行，为五万人具食，益为张旗帜诸山上，为疑兵，令郦食其持重宝啖秦将。”

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Duke of Pei emerged from Luoyang, his forces marching till Huanyuan. Liang led his forces to follow him. As a result, a score of Han cities were taken down with Yang Xiong's army routed. The Duke of Pei ordered the King of Han, Cheng, to defend Yangdi as Liang continued his journey with the Duke of Pei down south. The land of Wan was subsequently conquered, their men advancing westbound into the Wu pass. The Duke of Pei attempted to attack the Qin forces deployed at the lower high ground with twenty thousand men. Liang said thus: "The Qin army remains strong, we must not underestimate them. Your lowly vassal heard that their general is murderous in nature, yet opportunistic when it comes to self profiting. May m'lord stay behind while sending men ahead of us. Fifty thousand will suffice, they must be encamped at the surrounding mountains as decoys. As for the enemy commander, Li Yiji can bribe him with valuable treasures."

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

So we now have it! The first climax belonging to Zhang Liang! Wait, that sounds a bit wrong... okay nvr mind. So apparently, it's blatantly implied that during the standoff, the Qin forces managed to recoup their losses, i.e. retaking some of the territories previously held by the Han army. Remember what I've said in the previous part on skirmishes and the necessity behind curbstomping the bullies?

Let it be known that the army commanded by Liu Bang was most likely nowhere better than the rest. Or maybe try imagining things this way:

Do you think Boro has a squad better than the rest in the Championship?

Do you think Boro can compete with the likes of Fulham, Cardiff and Norwich?

Do you think we have 11 million quids to spend?

Do you think we really ended up signing Lewis "not Hamilton" Grabban?

Do you even think Gibbo is actually a Malaysian coming from the north east?

OH HELL NO!

We don't have a better squad b/c this is the Championship, the type of league capable of footballing feats eclipsing whatever David-Goliath moments in domestic cups.

We don't have the luxury of big $$$ parachute payouts approved by whoever upstairs last season.

11 million for Ross "not McCormick" McCormack? Refer above stated rant.

Norwich managed to grab Grabban, not us. Karanka chose to go Spanish modal once more since Real Murcia got some free scoring sucker willing to sign for us.

As for whether Gibbo is truly one hell of a Malaysian, you'll really have to ask his parents. [2]

So what truly made Liu Bang able to secure victory over an opposition more superior?

The Qin forces had the defensive advantage in terms of securing vital high ground (read: the horde of Chaos have pulled off a Zerg atop some bloody mountain!).

The Qin forces might also have boasted the advantage in numbers (read: the Orcs and Goblins are swarming like mob respawn!)

BUT...

There's a problem w/the Qin commander (no Beast of Chaos is ever free from being bloodthirsty w/o reason)

There's a problem w/the Qin comander (no worshiper of Gork and Mork is ever free from being your everyday schoolyard bully subjected under real idiocracy).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to bribe said commander (b/c Athel Loren is a place brimming with rumoured treasures).

There's no problem w/Zhang Liang advising Liu Bang to stage a fear tactic based on effective deployment via numbers+close proximity (hello, 50K is super a lot during the ancient times, okay?).

Final statement is virtually a case of the Asrai telling themselves "hey, let's deploy 5000 of our own like that. Maybe like 50 Waywatchers, 500 Wardancers, 1000 Glade Guards, 500 Glade Riders and the rest being our spanking new Wildwood Rangers lolz!"

The Qin commander was one bloody short sighted bastard, I will give him that. Not only was he a person who enjoyed killing the weak, he's also a yes man in the face of momentary profit. Sounds familiar to you? Don't worry, we all met this kind of bugger in school before. Scally you might even have this bugger in your office as well. #sianhalfmonday

In this world, the scariest kind of opponent you can come up against may not be the strongest bully in the playground. Rather, fear the kind of person capable of controlling that strongest bully just b/c that bloke is able to perceive things via his opponent's POV. It doesn't matter whether that guy looks like Robert Pattinson or Sorimachi Takashi, it doesn't matter whether he sparkles like Edward Cullen or whooping actual arseholes like Great Teacher Onizuka Eikichi himself. [3]

The outcome?

秦将果叛，欲连和俱西袭咸阳，沛公欲听之。良曰：“此独其将欲叛耳，恐士卒不从。不从必危，不如因其解击之。”

沛公乃引兵击秦军，大破之。遂北至蓝田，再战，秦兵竟败。遂至咸阳，秦王子婴降沛公。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans:

The Qin commander indeed rebelled, his intention being an ally (to the Duke of Pei) in order to assault Xianyang from the west. The Duke of Pei wanted to accede to the request, yet Liang advised against it by saying: "This is merely the intent of their commander, his men will surely not oblige. If we do not indulge him, we'd be courting danger. Best if we attack first."

Hence the Duke of Pei led his forces to attack the Qin army, the enemy routed as a result. Upon turning north till Lantian, the Qin army were defeated once again upon combat. Travelling till Xianyang at last, the Qin ruler Ziying surrendered to the Duke of Pei.

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis:

Herein we truly see Zhang Liang's moment of glory. Firstly, he accurately predicted two things, namely:

1. The army remained loyal, only the commander stayed a traitor.

2. If Liu Bang was to rebuff whatever fake olive branch offered, the Qin commander would surely rally his troops to fight Liu Bang. All in the name of loyalty, all in the name of actual hypocrisy.

If we can envision Zhang Liang's expression via a meme or two, it should be something like...

Steve once taught me the meaning of suck thumb, this has grown into my fave NSF jargon. Zhang Liang knew a suck thumb problem when he perceived one, he knew shit would be damned either way. If you're in Zhang Liang's shoes, what would you do? Don't tell me you'd say the same thing b/c that will be firing the horse backside cannon. [4]

When we're faced w/problems and questions, we tend to go by the textbook format. If Zhang Liang was somebody like that, then we won't see a Han dynasty. Chances are, we'd end up seeing Xiang Yu becoming the 2nd Emperor of China. This IS the mark of true blue talent, someone capable of making things happen like a true blue genius.

Someone (I forgot who, heard it from Neil Humphreys) from Everton once said that grit is up there (in the heavens), flair is somewhere below in his trousers. My apologies if I got the club wrong, but can we blame England for being Engrand? This is proof of textbook generic thinking, NOT the mark of an actual true blue local talent! Who are we to say there are only two options? Who are we to say that there's no path numero tres? Rules are meant to be followed, circumstances are NOT meant for the rules.

So what was Zhang Liang's path numero tres? Self explanatory, triple efficiency.

Combat analysis via footie speak

Attacking the opponent when they least expect it. Hypocrites call it cowardice, proponents of literal efficiency call it the only way or the highway. Honour only counts where it matters most, i.e. the outcome. No Bretonnian moron will ever say "we won despite losing because of honour!" if said idiot ended up getting sniped by Skarloc the Mistwalker. Want to boast abt honour, wait till you get the results first. Want to boast abt being a scoundrel, make sure you get away w/it first.

This is where DFB-Elf holds the advantage as the fastest counterattacking team of 2014. If Argentina play it safe, Joachim "not Daisy Hi-Lo" Löw has Toni "die Tonika" Kroos and Thomas "die Meeräsche" Müller. If Argentina play aggro, the Krauts will get high due to Sami "die WTF?!" Khedira and Bastian "die Bastion" Schweinsteiger getting super high.

Pursuing the opponent is one thing, defeating them despite a mass tactical re-roll on their part speaks volumes on two factors, namely momentum and knowing where to chase them. This is like playing Nightcrawler, a character consistently in the imba tier when it comes to every video game licensed by Marvel. [5] I dunno abt you, but I believe Kurt Wagner should be played as a hit+run melee rogue where simple combos should be the key to real badassery. [6]

This where La Albiceleste holds the edge. Make no mistake abt it, Estádio Maracanã is the antithesis of Britannia. It's like playing in the Riverside minus the fanfare and respect. Once you boss the possession, anything is possible. 'Tis one thing to do a tactical re-roll, quite another to force the opponent's hand via possession+movement+momentum.

Prediction: Sorry, I'm not Zhang Liang or Guo Jia. If Twitter allows me to choose two teams instead of one, surely it'll be the 2 teams in the Grande Finale. [7]

To be cont'd...

[1]: "Kurt, you are one charming devil." Did Scarlet Witch actually said that in Marvel Heroes? :o

[2]: Bar an absolute failure, you can try obtaining DNA sample so that the real Hank McCoy can lend his expertise.

[3]: NSFW WARNING!!!!!!!!

[4]: In Mr Eric Soh's own words, it's called 放马后炮.

[5]: Proof that Marvel actually felt guilty for dissing Kurt's mass appeal? Guess so...

[6]: Which is why fighting Dr Doom on Terminal mode=greatest "boss rush" challenge ever.

[7]: Refer back to what Mr Eric Soh said pls... :P

Note of self-wankery:

Since 99% of those sharing my surname are most likely scoundrels or nobodies, might as well I add this vid below to sate my own ego... :D

Lyrics

El Estratega: Cuatro

Tonight/day will be the day where sadism takes centre stage. Esp for this one below:

A/N: Due to the possible consequences resulting from this post, let me first state that nobody enjoy seeing bloodshed. Period.

Cannot kick ass=still badass

后十年，陈涉等起兵，良亦聚少年百余人。景驹自立为楚假王，在留。良欲往从之，道还沛公。沛公将数千人，略地下邳西，遂属焉。沛公拜良为厩将。良数以太公兵法说沛公，沛公善之，常用其策。良为他人者，皆不省。良曰：“沛公殆天授。”

故遂从之，不去见景驹。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans

Ten years later, the likes of Chen She raised the call to arms. Liang, on the other hand, also gathered a hundred plus youths in preparation. Jing Ju made himself as the Regent King of Chu, his base situated at Liu. Liang desired to follow suit, but ended up meeting the Duke of Pei along the way. The Duke of Pei led a force of few thousand men and managed to obtain the lands west of Xiapi. There, the Duke of Pei made Liang the commander of stables. Liang discussed several times strategy and tactics with the Duke of Pei via Taigong's Art of of War. The Duke of Pei was impressed, hence heeding Liang's counsel more oft than not. As a result, Liang chose to ignore the rest. Indeed he had said: "The Duke of Pei truly has the mandate of heaven."

Thus, he chose not to follow Jing Ju.

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis

As predicted accurately by that unknown ah-kong, it really took Zhang Liang ten years to attempt doing something 200% constructive. Funnily enough, ten years was also all it took for various Indian chiefs to declare war on the incumbent regime. Ofc by then, the Qin Emperor had alrdy gone tits up like your stereotypical English football team winning Team of the Month award for December.

Needless to say, Liu Bang (i.e. the Duke of Pei) was also one of those ppl. Interestingly enough, it seems that the faction of Chu (i.e. Jing Ju's side) was implied to be the strongest amigo out of the rest. Was it any surprising to see Zhang Liang wanting to join Jing Ju? After all, this was to be his best bet in fulfilling his dream.

Can you imagine having an IQ of 200 in terms of all things football? If you have this super imba gift and you have to choose between Barcelona and Middlesbrough, which one should be your pick? In Zhang Liang's speak, it should be Blaugrana. However, in my own speak, Zhang Liang ended up choosing Middlesbrough. So why?

Because Liu Bang knew a talent when he saw one. If you're Aitor "Amigo del Noreste" Karanka, would you take in some unknown lobo from Singapore who apparently doesn't know a shit abt football? What if this local lobo actually has some kind of imba gift capable of bypassing the limits of watching 'live' football? Like some instinctive knack for visualising matches just based on match reports and team sheets?

Liu Bang made Zhang Liang a commander of stables for a good reason. Firstly, cavalry units were extremely prized. Not only were blokes mounted on horses faster than those running on foot, the mobility offered by horses could easily go a long way in shaping the battlefield or delivering a decisive assault when and where it matters most. The only catch? Training cavalry=pain in the arse.

In short, Zhang Liang's job title was nothing to shout abt since he's quintessentially only in charge of managing the cavalry. [1] So what truly made Zhang Liang Liu Bang's man? Because Liu Bang was willing to listen and understand the sense within whatever spoken. Imagine Zhang Liang's joy upon knowing somebody great was willing to listen and defer to advise! While it's correct for us to say Liu Bang was correct in his decision making, it must be said that history is actually a subject easily understood from the hindsight. In short, try imagining this from the POV of someone living in that era. If you're Fan Kuai, Zhou Bo, Guan Ying or Xiahou Ying, how would you feel? I mean your big boss has just chosen some unknown fella who looked like a girl to be El Estratega Numero Uno! This reminds me of an interesting parallel during Liu Bei's lifetime where...

[关羽、张飞等不悦，先主解之曰：“孤之有孔明，犹鱼之有水也。愿诸君勿复言。”

羽、飞乃止。]

Above verse comes from Zhuge Liang's biography in Chen Shou's Record of the Three Kingdoms. Long story short, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were a tad pissed off over Liu Bei electing some underground intellectual as his Estratega Numero Uno where in fact Zhuge Liang's only experience lies in watching and not doing. In fact, I won't be surprised if Xiao He was to be the only bloke intelligent enough to understand what his fellow talent is capable of. [2]

Talk 1st, shoot later

及沛公之薛，见项梁。项梁立楚怀王。良乃说项梁曰：“君已立楚后，而韩诸公子横阳君成贤，可立为王，益树党。”

项梁使良求韩成，立以为韩王。以良为韩申徒，与韩王将千余人西略韩地，得数城，秦辄复取之，往来为游兵颍川。

《史记; 留侯世家》

司马迁著

Trans

When the Duke of Pei reached the land of Xue, he met Xiang Liang. Xiang Liang made the Huai King lord over Chu. Liang advised Xiang Liang, saying: "You have already named a heir to the throne of Chu. The various nobles at Han at Hengyang are wise and capable, we can made them kings to aid our future campaign."

Xiang Liang sent Zhang Liang as an envoy to Han Cheng, making him the King of Han with Zhang Liang being Han's Minister of Masses. Together with a thousand plus men of Han and his liege, the lands west of Han were taken. Several cities were taken, yet the Qin forces staged a fightback to retake the cities. As a result, the land of Yingchuan became a battleground for skirmishes and assault.

《Annals of History; Marquis of Liu》

Written by Sima Qian

Analysis

As it turned out, every nation needs friends. We call it diplomacy, politicians might have different ways to rephrase it. Fast forward to war and what is it that we're seeing? Firstly, civil conflict will always create that one thing called land grab. We clever nerds enjoy playing RTS rather than FPS, the one thing abt RTS is that you must do 2 things:

1. Maintain your lands.

2. Grab other ppl's lands.

In a twisted sense, this is no diff from schoolyard idiocracy where stabbing your classmate's elder bro is cool. In a more twisted sense, land grab is actually 100% justified+legit, no matter how peaceful of an anti-war bugger you are.

In war, there is no such thing as a stronger opposition or a weaker opponent. Schoolyard bullies enjoy showing themselves off b/c they nvr understood conflict. Jon Snow may know nothing, but at least he know how to fight a battle. [3] Warfare is NOT abt how strong you are, but rather how clever you are. I still remember a certain moment during my primary school days where I felt utterly betrayed by one of my classmates whom I happened to give a cup of water to during K2. Let's just say that in schoolyard bullying, being the sheep is much better than becoming a wolf. Having integrity means you are like shit. Period. [4] Okay, I digressed too much here. Simply put, I ended up saying that this so-and-so has to be defeated via wit, not force.

Back then, I knew nothing. At the semi-ripe age of 31 (soon to be 32 this yr fyi), I find this to be ironic. Something which I didn't know turns out to be 100 true after all! This was the case for Zhang Liang and co. They're weaker in terms of numbers, the Qin forces were stronger. In your super boliao world of playground idiocracy, confirm the Qin forces will win one. Every sikeena likes to worship the strong, Zhang Liang dashed their dream in the name of upright morals.

1K+ vs... erm how many ah?

This is a case of poor man vs rich man, Nightcrawler vs Dr Doom.* How on earth could the inferior Han forces hold the superior Qin back? In schoolyard idiocracy, the only terrain available is flat. Field is flat, playground is flat, that cute girl every boy got a crush on also flat. [5]

*To set the record straight, I had a hard time fighting that bastard in Green Terminal** due to trying out new linkup play. That plus I might have accidentally switched off my Heartseeker Guard since I only realised it when playing story mode on normal difficulty.

**To set the final record straight, I actually won that fight after spamming like around 10 med kits.

In war, only an idiot will fight you on a flat terrain unless he happened to have a superior force. According to the inverse law of practical efficiency, however, it also means this logic also applies to the opposition. By taking advantage of whatever/whichever difficult terrain available, it means that the Qin army couldn't advance effectively beyond the flat end.

Want to talk abt hills, alrdy owned by enemy.

Want to talk abt mountains, alrdy got owner.

Want to talk abt forest, come inside first then only can talk.

One interesting point abt skirmishers is this: The Greeks and Romans were known to be fearsome warriors, but it would always be the skirmishers being the unsung heroes worthy of accolades. Sadly skirmishers were deemed to be lowly soldiers recruited from lowly folks, hence not many of us knowing the cold hard truth unless we happen to be history buffs. Case in point: we know who were the Spartans [6], but do we even know there's such a word called Ekdromoi?

Therein we witness a glimpse of Zhang Liang's tactical/strategical finesse. He knew there's no way his brethren could win this fight. Even with the cover offered by the terrain, there's no guarantee that you'll get out of jail for free. That is unless...

1. You're a phenom in man deployment.

2. You're a phenom in shaping the battle, hence you're able to choose your own battle.

Former case is like imagining Black Panther commanding the forces of Wakanda against the White Gorilla (an individual deemed endangered due to Deadpool being environmental-friendly).

Latter case is quintessentially Nightcrawler trolling the shit out of bosses+mob via hit+run (if you dunno what is a guerrilla, don't worry. Just try running around in circles if you got too much free time to burn). 

Which now comes to the World Cup 2014 sans political infrastructure

What can every decent human being not guilty of excessive gambling learn from this post thus far? Numero uno is this: http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2014/07/always-trust-your-laopeh.html

Secondly, Louis "van Goal" van Gaal and Felipe "Big Fillet" Scolari are gonna have a go or two at each other. Sounds simple? Not if we're talking abt whatever trauma coming from 7even-gate.

Simply put, this may be much more open than otherwise thought. Ofc no one is asking Seleção Brasileira to put seven past the Dutch or van Goal doing a Jogi. That will be too damn sadistic and kru(e)l. Yet, who are we to say that there will be only stifling action across the middle 3rd? It's not as if we're talking abt them capitalistic Koreans and I'm not referring to that most famous debate over K-dramas and K-pop.

Make no doubt abt it, Felipão would have made important notes on van Goal's tactical weakness. No Robin "Bruce Wayne's kahkia" van Persie, confirm still can perform. No Arjen "MCP [7]" Robben, maybe still can perform. No Wesley "not Snipes" Sneijder sniping from behind? Like that how to perform? Remember that this current Oranje is more of a grinder, a team capable of grinding results sans more than 2 moments of brilliance. [8] Hoping van Goal will produce plenty of goals=hoping Daina Zagata will be your gf. Period.

So what about DFB-Elf vs La Albiceleste? Firstly, it's Lionel "I can't perform w/o *insert teammate's name here*" Messi vs die vier von zwei. Secondly, no Ángel "El Ángel Blanco" di María=no Campeones numero tres. [9] Thirdly, it's gonna be argentum width vs white hot counterattacking.

Wait, I don't get you...

No worries, mon ami. You see, a tactical impasse means there has to be a point where said impasse takes place. For the Han and Qin, we're talking abt buffer zones otherwise called difficult terrain. Both matches will also have that common difficult territory, namely the middle. Tonight's showdown will be focused on the efficiency behind the flat Dutch middle while the Grande Finale is all about open space either at dead centre, out wide or both.

[1]: Pretty much like me saying some local lobo only tasked w/drafting formations and starting 11 for the sake of reference.

[2]: And to set the record straight, the Three Talents of Han are namely Zhang Liang, Xiao He and Han Xin.
[3]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvsZ0keZ1Y0&feature=kp
[4]: Case in point below.

[5]: Okay, that's gross stereotyping. I actually remembered two girls during my Gan Eng Seng years, one them a year my senior and the other a year my junior. Both defied the Asian stereotype, the latter was actually wildly popular in terms of BGR rumours.

[6]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETgk56xT4Mk

[7]: MCP=/=Male Chauvinistic Pig; MCP=Most Controversial Player

[8]: Which was why La Furia Roja became La Furia Rojak.

[9]: Yes I know Javier "not masochistic" Mascherano kenna bontot koyak, but confirm he man enough to start.

P.S: Will we see this happening on the pitch?

Asian Exodus

'Tis a black day for Asia. 4 teams from this heritage rich continent, our only problem with ourselves is that Asians don't have a rich heritage in football. The brave dingos from Oz went down fighting, the lions of Persia has truly staged their last stand. As for the wolves and tigers hailing from East Asia, what else can I say apart fighting the good battle and losing the war? Ah well, at least 'tis been a long time since I posted babes on this blog...

~(Don't) Bomb~

~(Don't) Bomb~

~(Don't) Bomb Iran~

www.nsfw.com.au/

Ver. Celeb: Nicky Whelan

As for the common lass or two...

And lest we forget, Australians are also known for their jocks+jock culture

Both a cricket girl and soccer lass, that's Ellyse Perry for ya.

www.viralnim.co.kr

Shin Mi-na, anybody still recall?

This is Lee Soo-jung. That is in case any hot blooded bloke is left wondering "who sia..."

www.banhammer.uy/

And b/c I don't want to be ridiculed as some piss poor no-life bloke gotten fat...

Note to self: Either I must have been thinking too much or 'tis indeed true that I'm born with bishonen looks. In case anybody dunno what/who is bishonen, try re-imagining everything into your stereotypical Korean flower boy. Guess it's high time for me to re-kick my history engine...

太史公曰：学者多言无鬼神，然言有物。至如留侯所见老父予书，亦可怪矣。高祖离困者数矣，而留侯常有功力焉，岂可谓非天乎？上曰：“夫运筹䇲帷帐之中，决胜千里外，吾不如子房。”

余以为其人计魁梧奇伟，至见其图，状貌如妇人好女。盖孔子曰：“以貌取人，失之子羽。”

留侯亦云。

【索隐述赞】留侯倜傥，志怀愤惋。五代相韩，一朝归汉。进履宜假，运筹神算。横阳既立，申徒作扞。灞上扶危，固陵静乱。人称三杰，辩推八难。赤松愿游，白驹难绊。嗟彼雄略，曾非魁岸。

Tonight's Show @FBC: Road to the Final Victory 2014 [2]

??: Welcome back to tonight's show. I believe you all have enjoyed your ride in Brazil 2014 thus far, be it via the screen or in literal terms. I am your host for the night, Kim Dan. Before we get into tonight's main course, let us take a brief look at the happenings on the ground. Corespondent, please.

(x) (x) (x)

Corespondent: Good morning here. As you can see, the skies are clear and sunny. Just like my hometown. I am your local corespondent of the day, Aitor Kamara. Truly it has been quite a topsy turvy tourney thus far with the English Championship deemed better. Seeing Skysports rating Omeruo as Dzeko's better has gotta be my biggest break yet. So who shall lift the much coveted Jules Rimet Trophy bar a grand Latin heist? Let's go and find out.

Tourist 1: Of course our Netherlands! For a very long time, we, the long suffering Dutch, have to endure all kinds of racist jokes. I don't mind those made about our Dutch girls because they're indeed blond and hotly equipped. What I detest most is just about any jokes concerning human implosion. Humans don't implode, they explode! Why are there so many anti-science people making fun of our beloved Dutch nation?

Tourist 2: Netherlands. I'm a neutral and I don't really like how van Gaal performed plastic surgery on this current team. However, I have to admit 'tis pretty efficient. That plus I heard Daina Zagata has promised to be a Dutch citizen if Oranje really win.

Tourist 3: France. Like to see every jeune fille hitting the dance floor so long all of them ain't minors.

Tourist 4: ENGRAND!!!!!!! THREE LIONS!!!!!!! 1966!!!!!!!!! SIR ALF RAMSEY!!!!!!

AK: Erm, England are already out due to Los Ticos making los tacos out of your lads.

Tourist 5: Sorry, mate. He just got himself piss drunk because what you said is the cold hard truth.

AK: Never mind. People always drown their sorrows whenever there's beer aplenty.

Tourist 6: NORTH EAST! NORTH EAST! ENGLAND!!!!

AK: Wait, you don't look English.

Tourist 6: Yes, I no English! I Uruguay! I love Middlesbrough!

AK: Err, why?

Tourist 7+8+9+10+12... [and the Latin Express goes on...]: CAVANI IS MANNION! SUAREZ IS CAMSELL!

AK: Well, I guess the day remains young while the night truly awaits. Back to you, Kim Dan.

(x) (x) (x)

KD: I swear the next person calling me by my full will get it from me... why am I cursed with such a retarded name????

???: Kim Dan-nim, are you alright?

KD: Oh, of course I am fine. And here we have it, two esteemed guest pundits. On my right is this year's Miss Ice Goddess. Let us welcome Stevia G!

SG: ......

KD: Erm, okay it seems Stevia doesn't like to talk much. Anyway, on my left is...

*insane cheering coming from the 'live' audience. Weirdly enough, they all sound like guys.*

*Studio phone suddenly start ringing*

KD: Hello! This is...

?: #!$@#$$&*& lah! You think I dunno where is FBC meh?

KD: Erm... boss?

Boss: Yes, this is your boss, B.S Ko on the line. You know who are the special guests of the night? I swear that if I'm not happy, you confirm also not happy. You not happy, others also not happy. Get it?

KD: Err... yes, boss. Get it, boss.

Boss: Good. Introduce properly, okay? Already my friend Jürgen Kok has already created major unintentional consequences when that stupid paparazzi media K-PO revealed that damning selca news completed with the original selca.

KD: So anything else, boss?

Boss: No more. Still have to deal with another salty Korean five minutes later... *hangs up phone*

*kickass bgm starts blaring from PA system in courtesy of P.C, the P.A man*

KD: Wait... that one is...

SG: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. More specifically Alucard's theme. Most tragic protagonist in the series by my estimation unless I'm to figure Leon Belmont in.

KD: Wait, wait... so what am I supposed to do?

*crow flies past somewhere nearby*

???: Good day to every audience both 'live' and watching from the comfort of your living room. 'Tis an honour to be a guest of FBC, I am G.Park.

*security personnel mobilised*

KD: At least these men in blue are doing their jobs for now. Really have to bargain with that doughnut vendor asap. *clears throat and tidy himself* So how shall we proceed, ladies?

GP: Say, Stevia. How's your boyfriend? Last time we met, it seems that he's grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Did he send you anything?

SG: Only a box of sweet pastries from Malaysia.

GP: Let me guess... sweetheart cakes?

SG: Bingo.

GP: That's so sweet~~~~

KD: Err, ladies... we're...

GP: I know. Football, right? Stevia, what's your view on the tournament so far?

SG: Brazil, flatter to deceive. Argentina, cannot perform without Messi. Croatia, dark horse. France, dark horse. Chile, dark horse. Costa Rica, surprise package. Italy, shock package plus 16th August.

GP: Some more?

SG: Holland, early favourites. Portugal, needs Ronaldo for bailout. Germany, my favourite because my friend also living there.

KD: Ladies, I think this is getting nowhere...

SG: England, dead. South Korea... sorry, can't say.

*Random crew hands Kim Dan a piece of fax*

KD: Ladies, I believe we've got some interesting info here. Audience, here's that one thing we all have been waiting for: Jürgen Kok's winning 11 of draft 2! Wait, why is it that the team sheet looks so funny...

*Camera zooms into the team sheet*

Ochoa

Johnson  Yobo  Costa  Mesbah

Jones  Bradley

Ayew                                          Robben

Giroud         Suárez

GP: Wow, your boyfriend is such a nerd...

SG: A talented one at that...

KD: Wait... don't tell me... Jürgen Kok is...

GP: Yeah, he's Stevia's beau. Why?

*Big screen suddenly activated*

Jürgen Kok: Heyo, peeps!

KD: ...... WHY ALWAYS YOU?????????

KH: Why always me? I thought it's time for me to start analysing...

KD: Never mind. Let's just find a related topic to say. Like how do you see South Korea's massive defeat?

KH: Well, the Desert Foxes did outfox the Taegeuk Warriors. How? By exploiting the open space between the attacking quartet and fortified sextet. Plenty has been said about the Koreans' defensive frailty, the Algerians have proven it beyond doubt. The chief reason why Russia couldn't find a way through is because the South Koreans played their cards right. By employing two flat banks of 4, Hong Myung-bo had effectively stifled everybody else through ball possession from back till middle. Against the African cavalry, it's a total different ball game. The two wide-nim couldn't track back in time, the two anchor-nim got brutally exposed like Gray Fullbuster himself. This might be why the Desert Foxes were able to make a desert out of the result within 45 minutes. After the break, the Koreans managed to rally back due to the Korean pride.

GP: Sadly it's too little, too late.

KH: Yep. The kimchi was effectively done by time the 2nd half kicked off. The fact that your beloved soldiers on the pitch were able to pull 2 goals back was already a miracle in itself. Let me give you a tip, may you relay my words back to that old hero of Taegeuk.

SG: ......

GP: Go ahead! Please tell us how to beat those fake Red Devils!

KH: Fake?

GP: Well, the only true Red Devils come from my people and Manchester.

KH: You'll always go batshit crazy guano loco upon national pride being mentioned. Okay, listen carefully. Not gonna say this twice. Number one: I'm not God, I can't guarantee results.

GP: Number two?

KH: Do what the Algerians did to you, that's my advice to that old hero. Unfortunately, I believe the Belgians have already predicted this before me. Note the movement coming from their wide-nim because their entire 11-nim will keep a sharp eye on the Korean spine.

SG: ......

KH: Eh? You don't look too well, Stevia. Something wrong?

SG: Nothing. I see you're enjoying yourself at England right now.

KH: Here? At Middlesbrough? I know you'll be worried about me. Don't worry. I'm only here for footballing reasons. For the sake of my well being, I never wandered beyond my home after seven. As for girls, I don't even have the time to notice any!

SG: I don't believe you. Proof?

KH: You can join me up here at Teesside if you don't believe me. I swear that my home is actually part of Rockliffe Park, not Rockliffe Hall.

SG: Fine. Meet me up first at Hamburg three weeks from now. I heard you're already quite famous in Germany due to your name rhyming with another Jürgen.

KH: Okay, you win.

KD: Alright, can't stand this Lady and the Tramp moment. So tell me, Jürgen. How do you see the England-Costa Rica match?

KH: It's a match up between nothing to lose and nothing to gain.

KD: I gather that England has nothing to gain and Costa Rica got nothing to lose...

KH: Wrong. Your statement is just like me saying Emma Watson is English.

KD: Well, she's English.

KH: Technically 50% English, 50% French.

KD: I don't get you.

KH: What I'm trying to say is that such mentality can and will go either way. Hodgson can choose to see this match as a glass of wine half empty or a glass of wine half full. If he thinks England has nothing to gain, we'll definitely see a conservative England. The England that tried playing Russian Roulette during the last two matches and ultimately lost. On the other hand, I'll be interested to see whether Lallana will start should Hodgson decide that this team has got nothing to lose.

KD: Why? Because you have him in your fantasy league team?

KH: Partially yes. I can't lie over this question. However, it must also be noted that Lallana's dynamic drifting can AND will open up much wanted space by passing the ball on the ground. Costa Rica will most likely try packing the midfield with the option of having two wide-amigos falling back. That will leave Bryan Ruiz free to roam and once he gets the ball... well, you can ask Prandelli over that goal of his.

KD: So I assume old Roy commited a strategic cock up all the while?

KH: Against Italy, I can understand the need to harass Pirlo. Quite effective if you ask me. Unfortunately, Welbeck ain't the kind of player to do any tactical follow up. He's 100% graft, but not daring enough. Rooney wasn't good enough out wide because once you isolate him, the English will grant you that license to kill. Tactics is all about actual synergy and I'm not talking about Marvel Heroes.

KD: Against Uruguay?

KH: Sturridge got isolated instead. As a deep lying centre forward, Rooney enjoyed better protection to do what others said he does best. Shutting down that black man upfront proved to be Tabárez's victory and Hodgson's poison. La Celeste are known to be extremely physical from back till middle. This is why Cavani and Suárez are able to run the show down like the Mannion-Camsell partnership of yore. England really missed Lallana's ability to open up space. A lot has been said on him and Barkley resuscitating a vegetative England to no avail, but that's because the team was already a vegetable.

KD: No difference between the old shit England and new shit England then?

KH: At least Hodgson managed to create a decent semblance of ball retention. A conservative approach, however, means that England could never ever learn. I mean you're capable of keeping possession, but incapable of playing the ball forward? It's like me saying Tony Pulis is able to advocate passing football, but unable to get 3 points out of 3.

KD: Your analogy is absurd.

KH: Football is absurd anyway. 20 years ago or so, women actually understood what is offside. Fast forward the clock and we end up seeing the likes of Tobin Heath and Alex Morgan demonstrating to men the real meaning of that word.

KD: What about the defence then?

KH: Okay, then. Put 4 wooden blocks in a straight row. How many gaps should there be?

KD: Are you questioning my intellect?

KH: Just answer me. I'm not interested in playing games with you. I still have to try drafting an English spine for the Boro senior squad because I haven't even started it yet!

KD: Alright. Answer is 3.

KH: Congrats. You get an A-star.

KD: ARE YOU INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE????!!!!????

KH: No I'm not. I'm just trying to make a point. Simply put, the opponent will always try to exploit the gap between two players. It's not a matter of how many broken links, but rather a case of one is enough. Coordination to master the gaps is key to whether England will exit the airport in partial shame or utter shame. After all, there is only one Nigeria.

KD: Okay, thanks. I believe Hodgson will appreciate your input.

KH: And I believe Hong Myung-bo will want me to be his field strategist.

KD: That's absurd.

KH: Plenty of things we say tend to be absurd. So hope to see you soon, Stevia. Hamburg or Teesside, you can be very sure I'm not being absurd.

KD: Okay, so I guess this concludes tonight's episode of FBC.

GP: And on behalf of my agency and mother nation, I like to express my heartfelt thanks to all whom it may concern.

SG: You need a boyfriend, Park.

GP: But there are no suitable boys in my university!

SG: Go get one from your own professional circle then.

GP; Hmm... that's a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?