1. I don't have any friends b/c I'm not known to have close friends.
2. I don't have bf b/c I'm not known to be gay.
3. I don't have gf b/c I'm still certified as single, despondent and undesirable.
Then, I end up getting the best gift ever. If National Day is for everyone to enjoy, then 9th Aug is for me to realise (?) where my heart belongs to...
Best gift 9th Aug can ever give me: 3 pts for #boro
#UTB
— Minghui Kuok (@Aeranath) August 9, 2014
Aggressive 4= #FantasticFour
Lethal 2= #Wolverine & #Deadpool
Troll in the hole= #Gambit
Troll in final 3rd= #Nightcrawler
— Minghui Kuok (@Aeranath) August 9, 2014
Proof that Teesside is still lacking one more freak...Proof that Eddie Howe might have seen this*
*NOT!
The Marvelous X-Men
9th August@X-Mansion
(Charles Xavier receives alarming news concerning his old Jewish friend, summons the X-Men into his office.)
Professor X: We have grave news. While using the Cerebro to locate new recruits to our cause, I have detected some disturbing activities in Singapore.
Iceman: Singapore? You mean that country with spicy food and spicier local ladies?
Professor X: Why, yes. Any more questions, Bobby?
Iceman: So we're not talking about Mandripoor. Good for me. That meeting with Daredevil's ex didn't go down well last time round.
Beast: Are you still sore over Polaris dating Havok? That's years ago, Bobby.
Iceman: And besides, Polaris died some time ago. Yeah, I know that and I'm not about to crack a joke or two over this.
Gambit: Well...
Cyclops: Quiet, Gambit! Bobby doesn't need your witty comments at this moment.
Gambit: So how about...
Cyclops: And don't make any comments about me and Alex, understand?
Wolverine: Alright, people. Let's stop all this bullshit and get down to business.
Storm: I believe someone is missing from our midst.
Quicksilver: You mean my sis?
Scarlet Witch: I'm here, Pietro.
Gambit: So that means someone is still busy with the Excalibur.
Shadowcat: Stop fooling around, Remy. Excalibur is already history.
Gambit: So did Piotr do that? I mean Excalibur, not you.
Colossus: Watch your mouth, Gambit.
*Remy LeBeau instantly got bonked across the head with smoke coming out from a swollen bump.*
Rogue: No more of that, sugah.
*cue der BAMF!*
Nightcrawler: Try keeping up with me!
Wolverine: Been stayin' outta trouble, elf?
Beast: Kurt, I've told you time and again already! Do not...
Nightcrawler: ...relive my past experience in the afterlife through the Danger Room. I know that, Hank.
Cyclops: Stay sharp, Kurt. This isn't a game. Please do continue, Professor.
Wolverine: Wait. So where's Emma?
Psylocke: I think she left us after Scott got restored. Bobby Drake, can't you be serious for just two seconds?
Iceman: Oops, sorry there. I nearly forgot who said "no more Phoenix!", Scott.
Cyclops: No more of your jokes, Bobby. You're almost as bad as Gambit. Whatever feud you've got with my brother is none of my concern.
Wolverine: At least you never mention Deadpool, Scott.
Angel: I swear I'd have paralyzed his lower body if not for Nathan's interference.
Psylocke: Calm down, Warren. I also felt like slicing Wade Wilson to ribbons during that episode.
Beast: I'm no law guru, but isn't sexual harassment a crime?
Psylocke: Which makes his acquittal all the more unbelievable...
Angel: He must have either threatened or bribed the judge and jury. More likely both given Nathan's angry look when the verdict was announced.
Scarlet Witch: ......
*Flashback to one year ago during post NDP celebrations*
Gambit: Deal again, mon ami?
Local Zouk girl 1: He's so sexy!!!!!
Local Zouk girl 2: He's so desirable!!!!!!!
Local Zouk girl 3: He's so unattainable!!!!!!!
Gambit: Hey there! Don't just mop around, Nightcrawler!
*cue der BAMF! and plenty of shocked local Zouk girls*
Nightcrawler: There's more to life than just women and gambling, Gambit.
Iceman: You really need to chill, Kurt. Me and Remy knows you've been through a lot. I mean getting killed by Bastion, going to heaven only to realize there's no hot Singaporean devils there and getting yourself revived after whooping your father's ass. C'mon, you need a life. So when was the last time you kissed a girl? Be honest with us, Kurt.
Gambit: I know a liar when I see one, Nightcrawler.
Nightcrawler: Erm... none?
Iceman: Okay then. See Wanda over there? Poor pretty thing she is. Every Singaporean dude is trying to chat her up, but she doesn't care.
Nightcrawler: So?
Iceman: Me and Remy devised a little plan to end your...
Nightcrawler: End my what?
Gambit: Virginity, Nightcrawler. The last person capable of tempting you has already moved onto another target.
*Somewhere in the National Museum at the same time...*
Black Cat: Somebody must be talking nasty things about me. Well, a bad girl's gotta do what a bad girl's born to do...
*Back to Zouk*
Iceman: Okay so here's the plan, Kurt. Wanda has agreed to a date with you. A hot date without worrying about Pyro gatecrashing...
Nightcrawler: Do tell me again why half of Manhattan got burnt down last year...
Iceman: I wasn't there, Remy wasn't there.
Nightcrawler: Wanda was there.
Iceman: So?
Nightcrawler: 'Tis not funny to joke about collateral damages done to an innocent city.
*Flashback to 4th July@mid town Manhattan*
Pyro: You burned me out, mate.
Scarlet Witch: You're no match for Chaos magic!
Captain America: I'm sure Stark will pay for all these...
Iron Man: Are you still holding onto those vibranium rights, T'Challa?
Black Panther: Stark, are you the master of your technology or its servant?
Storm: You do our people proud, Panther.
Iron Man: Do you mind?
Storm: I was referring to T'Challa playing a vital role in defeating the cosmic level threat of Pyro.
Iron Man: Okay, cool power couple. The king and queen of Wakanda really do their people proud.
Storm: Do not anger a goddess...
*Back to 9th August@Zouk*
Iceman: Oops, I forgot Wanda accidentally obliterated half of Manhattan during Independence Day. Or so I heard from that genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist. Wait a sec, Kurt... why mention Wanda if you don't have a thing for her?
Nightcrawler: Okay, I give up.
Iceman: Good. Go back to your room and log onto your Facebook account. Go type Scarlet Wanda Maximoff, that's her Facebook profile account. There are some pictures she put on public, I suspect it might be at Siloso Beach.
*At the comfort of his own hotel room...*
Nightcrawler: I can't believe it... Wanda wearing a bikini? You're a scoundrel, Bobby Drake. A little wonder why Hank is always worried about you starting a fight with Scott...
Next episode:
What is Magneto planning in Singapore?
Is there truly a mutant there?
Will Kurt Wagner get himself corrupted by Chaos magic despite the likelihood of having the Soulsword?
Watch this space, peeps. That is if you're really low crass enough like me to call yourself the everyday S'porean...
Meanwhile at the Avengers Tower...
Nick Fury: No mutants found in Singapore... shit, that must have been the Shadow King messin' with the info... gotta tell Xavier about this.
*Fury faces towards the east of mid town Manhattan*
Nick Fury: Director Fury to Agents Maria Hill, Phil Coulson and Eric O'Grady... time to assemble! I repeat! Time to assemble!
Somewhere @Manhattan
Ant-Man: You hear that, Phil? Fury's telling us one thing.
Coulson: I hope this has got nothing to do with this strip club we're in right now, Eric.
Ant-Man: Don't worry, I'll tell the truth this time round. That Agent Eric O'Grady was the one coercing Agent Phil Coulson to the Chels-Blue Strip Club. Happy?
Coulson: Can I say no?
Ant-Man: Unfortunately, my answer is no. Okay, time to assemble. MOTHER****ERS, ASSEMBLE!
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