@Mr Eric Soh-You nearly destroyed your protege's morale when you said it's very difficult for Boro to reach promotion due to the competitive nature of Championship football. Key words are "nearly" instead of "totally" and "difficult" instead of "impossible".
@President Ah-lee-bama and VPKX-This post is specifically for you two. If you two super zun on this, you both sure can tender resign letter.
@to all within the relevant dept-Above address is just 4tehlulz, pls don't kill me the next time I kenna subbed in.
@all the rest-You all know who you are, the Championship season might have gotten even more super siao in the next few weeks...
But firstly an address to a certain Mr Tobias Fong
To quote a certain big man of Wales, "Tobias Fong! You are in a very deep trouble..." Okay, not really the case since I'm not gonna say anything in this blog on your beloved Blackburn Rovers. But still, I'm seeing some interesting trollolol from Gary "Not Lee" Bowyer. [1]
So let's get onto the game
Let me just say that as a Christian, I don't believe in gambling. Everyone has the unfettered right to make decisions, the same goes for me. In short, personal declaration means nothing to other people unless they really care to know.
So apparently, Paul Dickov truly fancied his chances in taking down the Riverside. Sadly, even though our stomping ground ain't any Winterfell, Dickov ain't Theon Greyjoy also. What blew me away, however, is this: We won not by 1 goal, 2 goals, or even by 3. We scored 4 and leaked none!
Okay, granted this is Doncaster Rovers, a team whose greatest claim to fame lies in One Direction (but then again, isn't Harry Styles' fave manager Ser A.Fergie?). Still, we were a team in crisis and still are. The fact that we won four kosong will account for nothing next to shit if we can't hack down 3 pts at Edwood Park.
In short, we're only as good as our last match despite making 1/5 of the global female population flowing tears like the River Thames. [2]
Have the Old Gods spoken?
At least King Gibbo who sits on the Iron Throne has spoken: Mogga got the axe. Despite my personal reluctance, I can only agree with Gareth "Edmure Tully" Southgate's assessment that football is a results-based industry (although individual domestic leagues vary). With Eddard Stark gone, there's no one to defend the North even though there must always be a Stark in Winterfell. So who are the faves to take over House Star... erm, I mean Boro.
Intro:
Never before Teesside had became the greatest hotseat in recent English football history, this time round we got all kinds of talented blokes vying (?) for the job. Firstly, let me destroy all the rest and highlight the elite.
Mark "you try getting ****ing near him!" Venus used to be Mogga's Hand, will he be go from pretender to Lord of Teesside? If our 4-0 win managed to push 1/5 of global female population to nigh despair, they would be happy to know that when Ryan "Earl of Wales" Giggs was young and fiery with the ball, Veno got trolled non-stop. [3]
Interesting enough, the 4-2-3-1 formation was eerily reminiscent of what Mogga was trying to accomplish. Which ultimately resulted in the Tale of Veno Turncloak. (Not so) Amazingly enough, even FB Boro fans could recognise your stereotypical tabloid tactic. [4]
Limpeh says-Not so likely. Four swallows don't make a summer, King Gibbo should know better than me. Lest we forget, this was how we got our arses relegated after an early season undefeated streak promising us nothing next to shit. [5] More likely the most random candidate in terms of probability.
Mike "Hand of Red Keep" Phelan has gotta be the overwhelming fave, both for the odd makers and fans. One Directioners might actually know that we got a certain history with Team Harry Styles. Steve "Jon Arryn" McClaren used to be Fergie's Hand, they always say "the King shits and the Hand wipes". Whether McClaren really wiped Ser A. Fergie's shit is now irrelevant, what's relevant is the fact that we actually wiped Team Red Keep 4-1. Forgotten this episode? Go ask Keano. [6]
Limpeh says-Most likely if we're talking abt Teesside's history with the second men. Okay, I technically lied b/c only McClaren was part of this. Given how the previous Pope asking who's that team they called the Boro [7], can we discount Nightcrawler taking permanent command again? [8]
Third in order is Ian "the Blackfish" Holloway. Recently sacked over a dispute so subtly acrimonious, the only statement equally, if not more, subtle is most likely about Portugal in a nutshell. [9] Never mind whether he'll be exiled to the Wall, let's be frank here. This is one son of a gun synonymous with the term "loose cannon". [10] Yet, what gets me chuffed over his availability is the fact that Barking Mad Ian's YOLO football is the closest thing to Mogga's football ideology. [11]
Limpeh says-Best candidate by far. His days at Blackpool were curtailed by disputes over transfer kitty, the only time bomb factor is whatever he pulled off at the Selhurst training ground. [12]
Will this Amigo Madridista be our Sir Galahad? Unless my half-arsed joke on Tito being Azor Ahai end up going Asshai mode, then Sir Terry Pratchett's words might proved themselves to eerily prophetic. [13] 'Tis a no-brainer UK Pools is out to make a killing, how believable should be the odds? Lest we do not know, this=Catalunya's fave vid due (?) to this. Yet, do not discount Aitor joining the comforts of London rather than being his own hombre de la nordeste. That's why I'm saying UK Pools is out to make a killing, pls don't be bluffed.
Limpeh says-Forget all the drivel on Aitor flopping in the Championship. Did not Gus "Me Gusta!" Poyet succeed with Brighton before? [14] The difference between a mediocre piece of shit and rough diamond lies in how one adapts to foreign footballing climate. This is also the main reason why English football was ridiculed post-El Tel. This is abt having BOTH ability and balls of steel. At the same time, one admirable trait abt Jose "El Especial" Mourinho is having a sharp eye for managerial/coaching talent.
We must know that nurturing players is different from nurturing coaches/managers if you are one yourself. Managers like Le Professeur and Ser A. Fergie are player nurturers. To do that, they must constantly approach any situation like a parent because no player is bigger than the team. [15] Nurturing managers/coaches, on the other hand, will be strictly about mentor and protege. This is because you're gonna create a somebody working at the same level, NOT on the pitch. [16]
As for this the amigo, he used to coach La Furia Roja U16 squad, someone who shared a close working relationship with the Mou. In fact, I've heard before that whenever Los Blancos had to do a pre-match conference, Aitor Karanka would always play la Vanguardia. Granted it will take him some time to adapt before finding his feet (that is if he really wants to manage the only shit NE club that belongs to us), but life is all about harsh lessons taken and learnt, no? [17]
[1]: Tactically speaking ofc!
[2]: Whether a shit town in North East will create online catfight (?) remains to be seen.
[3]: Every carrot soup chef should know wtf relevant episode entails.
[5]: Irony in abundance!
[6]: Shota Harry should try getting this tape.
[7]: If you think I'm telling the truth, then you don't understand a thing. If you think this is an insult, go crucify Roy Hodgson first.
[8]: No, I'm not shitting you guys here. Kurt Wagner DID assume leadership of the X-men for a while.
[9]: "He's six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking - he's got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster - that would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock's massive."
[10]: Albeit nothing gets better than this.
[11]: Albeit Mogga's footie is more of a 50-50 between defence and attack. Which is why we got slaughtered by Blackpool and Palace last time round when we tried playing Mad Ian off his park.
[12]: To be honest, I can't formulate a sensible conclusion b/c there's nothing sensible behind whatever written, be they truth, half truth, or otherwise.
[13]: May we live in Interesting Times.
[14]: And more recently, the latest Tyne-Wear derby with a Gaelic knight and Yankee sniper.
[15]: Take a bow, King Kenny. You're the one who arguably made this logic famous.
[16]: Mr Eric Soh, you should know this better than me since your beloved team is a certain Hong Jianxiang's most hated team. Jianxiang, don't buat bodoh. I know you're a Gooner, I also know you're that latest mod for our current OSM private league. Benny should learn a thing or two from you. ;)
[17]: Robb was used to winning, he died. Jon was born a loser, he survived.
P.S to President Ah-lee-bama and VPKX: Pls dun assume me to be Satan incarnate in case you two fancy a bet. I don't grow two horns and a tail, I don't wield pitchfork for a living. If anything cock up, every lady and girl in your dept will kill me. T_T
A/N to self: Suddenly wondered how many Koreans/Japanese/Chinese support Man Utd and Real Madrid. I blame my father for being pro-PRC, my mother, sister, and aunt for leaning towards pro-Korean (although mom and sis' case might be down to this). Plus me myself for being a J-geek.
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