Ever wondered why the nearest person was acting like a dick earlier this morning? Maybe he's not your superior, maybe he's older than you. Maybe he thinks his IQ of 99 is higher than your IQ of 120, or maybe he's just being too salty towards the fact that you've eaten too little rice. No matter what, I'm thankful that I'm not cursed with such experience. Great Commander Zhou, however, did nearly pull this off. And none other than in front of Cheng Pu [程普].
Wait, that name sounds familiar...
Yes, it IS a familiar name. After all, he's one of the ah-kongs 3. You see, together with Han Dang [韩当] and Huang Gai, they were Sun Jian's 3 amigos. From Sun Jian's time to Sun Ce's exploits, then following Sun Quan... ofc they were regarded with reverence!
[普颇以年长，数陵侮瑜。瑜折节容下，终不与校。普后自敬服而亲重之，乃告人曰：“与周公瑾交，若饮醇醪，不觉自醉。”
时人以其谦让服人如此。]
The above verse is from Pei Songzhi's annotation, i.e. Accounts of Jiangbiao. Note that there's no conflict whatsoever, so I have no problem putting this up...
Ah-kong Pu's character-This is a different kind of fish compared to Huang Gai. I know people enjoy saying Huang Gai is dumber due to stuff like this, but allow me to say that in times of internal strife, either you bluff or you die. In short, brains over brawn. Maybe that's why sexy Chinese/Korean/Japanese pr0n are still in demand after many years...
Stupid digression aside, Huang Gai was definitely much humbler than Cheng Pu. At least Huang ah-kong offered a suggestion that won Chi Bi for Wu. Cheng Pu, however, felt he should be saltier than Zhou Yu. Or rather the saltiest of all men...
[...数陵侮瑜。]
One thing to note is that both Cheng Pu and Zhou Yu were commissioned to lead the Wu forces against Cao Ren in order to seize Jiangling. Note that Jiangling was part of Nanjun, which in turn was temporarily ceded to Liu Bei in a bid to further curtail Cao Cao's power.
As for Cheng Pu, quite obviously he wasn't a happy ah-kong because in his own words: "When your grandfather is still fighting Dong Zhuo, you're not even an embryo!"
Sounds nerdy? Well, that's merely a hyperbole, but it's true that above verse stated [humiliated Yu a number of times.] The nature of Chinese language back then was rather ambivalent. Something like how Japanese can be extremely frustrating to learn. In short, this could also mean [Cheng Pu belittled Zhou Yu a number of times]/[Cheng Pu showed contempt to Zhou Yu a number of times]/Cheng Pu derided Zhou Yu a number of times]/[Cheng Pu *insert proper relevant words pls* Zhou Yu a number of times].
The root of this problem lies in Sun Quan being too biased back then. No one could fault him for being a talented administrator, but he could also be incredibly stupid at times. In short, we're talking about war and conflict. One of his trusted vassals, Zhang Hong, even had to stop that stupid upstart from leading a force of light cavalry. All for what? All because Sun Quan can be a hopeless showoff at times and that he was about to lead his men into ACTUAL combat! To prove that I'm no liar, try interpreting this:
[权率轻骑将往突敌，纮谏曰："夫兵者凶器，战者危事也。今麾下恃盛壮之气，忽强暴之虏，三军之众，莫不寒心，虽斩将搴旗，威震敌场，此乃偏将之任，非主将之宜也。愿抑贲、育之勇，怀霸王之计。"
权纳纮言而止。既还，明年将复出军，纮又谏曰："自古帝王受命之君，虽有皇灵佐于上，文德播于下，亦赖武功以昭其勋。然而贵于时动，乃后为威耳。今麾下值四百之厄，有扶危之功，宜且隐息师徒，广开播殖，任贤使能，务祟宽惠，顺天命以行诛，可不劳而定也。"
于是遂止不行。]
Ironically, Zhang Hong wasn't around during one of the battles of Heifei. Zhang Liao became a belated legend of badassery because of that, blame Sun Quan (although Zhang Liao IS indeed certified BA).
Note that in the ancient times (not just China, mind you), authority is everything. Democracy was something unheard of, most likely people would mishear it as demonecromancy anyway. Rank and status, however, was extremely important to the Chinese. This was down to a prevalent culture of Confucianism where seniority is something being worshiped like Taylor Swift/Rihanna/SNSD/One Direction/Super Junior/etc.
Sun Quan's worry was most likely down to Cheng Pu's status amongst the Wu vassals. Bad mistake though. Years later, a certain ex-PSLE grad raised up this concern when Sun Quan was toying with the same idea in a bid to screw Guan Yu with Guan Yu.
[瑜折节容下，终不与校。]
This is Zhou Yu's response. Not only did he show silent respect towards Cheng Pu, he even had to buat bodoh. Why? It's not because Cheng Pu double confirmed bodoh, but rather acting blur was the only way to think smart, i.e. if someone insult your father/mother/race/religion/sexuality, mai chap-siao.
Note-Zhou Yu's response was merely shunning Cheng Pu's counsel. Above statement is a hyper-hyperbole bullshit invented by yours sincerely. And to think I always j/k to a certain churchmate that 9 out of every 10 statements he said=bs.
However, it must also be said that nice guys don't always finish last. We all know nice girls finish first, that's why every nice girl in my life is blessed to be taken. But nice guys finishing last?
时人以其谦让服人如此。]
This was most likely after the victory over Cao Ren since making war=cannot make love. Technically speaking ofc.
Cheng Pu's analogy was very simple-["Interacting with Zhou Gongjin is just like sipping the finest wine. One will be drunk even without knowing."]
Lessons we can learn from handsome Zhou
Firstly, it must be stated that Zhou Yu was the one sowing the seeds of disharmony in the first place. Why did I say that?
[备谓瑜云：“仁守江陵城，城中粮多，足为疾害。使张益德将千人随卿，卿分二千人追我，相为从夏水人截仁后，仁闻吾入必走。”
瑜以二千人益之。]
Above portion is yet another annotation from Pei Songzhi, this time from Records of Wu. Granted this decision enabled Liu Bei to seize the four counties in Jiangnan, i.e. Changsha [长沙] (captured by Liu Bei), Guiyang [桂阳] (captured by Zhao Yun), Wuling (me tak tahu by who), Ling'ling [零陵] (sama sama).
Summary goes something like this:
Liu Bei: Eh, this Cao Ren bugger super hiong one leh! Base so strong, got so many food, sure will lagi fast poke us all in the pantat one!
Zhou Yu: So what is your suggestion?
Liu Bei: I give you Zhang Fei plus 1K manpower, you give me 2K manpower in return. Don't worry lah! Borrow only! Just like I also borrow you Zhang Fei, correct or not? Some more oredy got Guan Yu diao there up north to cut off Cao Ren's escape, me and 2K manpower can go KGB mode, you know!
Zhou Yu: You talk a lot, Your Grace.
Liu Bei: Aiyah! Key thing is me and my brudders attack Jiangling's pantat, Cao Ren triple confirm sure will cabut one!
Zhou Yu: Fine. It's a deal then!
Cheng Pu: Gongjin, we have a problem. Liu Bei makan his promise, he took four counties of Jiangnan.
Zhou Yu: .......
Needless to say, Cheng Pu wasn't impressed with his first impression on Zhou Yu's IQ. Albeit it must be known that Liu Bei was a conniving bastard till the end, Zhuge Liang got the last laugh since people think he lagi siao to compare himself with Guan Zhong (renowned administrator of the Qi state during the Warring States Era) and Yue Yi (renowned general of the Yan state during the same era).
With that being said though, we must know that Zhou Yu was a humble man who respects other people. This is first shown in his attitude towards Sun Quan.
[是时权位为将军，诸将宾客为礼尚简，而瑜独先尽敬，便执臣节。]
Trans:
[Back when Quan was still holding a General's title, every guest and general merely paid simple formalities. Only Zhou Yu would always pay full respect before assuming his duty.]
My incumbent boss melayu once said that if you want to be respected, make sure you respect others first. Zhou Yu's respect was indeed down to this very same teaching, boss melayu will be lagi happy when he sees this.
[性度恢廓，大率为得人，惟与程普不睦。]
Trans:
[With a humorous and magnanimous character, people were attracted to his frank nature. Alas only Cheng Pu was not on speaking terms with him.]
Last sentence is historical rhetoric, I've explained it. Key phrases comprise of humour, magnanimity, nothing to hide. Interestingly enough, Zhou Yu managed to let personal character do all his talking. Basically, it goes something like this.
Kah-kia satu: Eh, uncle Cheng! You got see Zhou Yu or not?
Cheng Pu: Why the fuck must I care about him? Bladdy arsehole so bladdy yahya papaya...
Kah-kia satu: But he not yahya papaya! You see how he so kind to that sigeena?
Cheng Pu: Simi sigeena? You better tell me, or I use my spear to fuck your pantat!
Kah-kia dua: Erm, Chow Keng only only chaokeng for a little while lah...
Cheng Pu: WHAT THE FUCK????!!!
Kah-kia tiga: Alamak, don't so jahat lah you! Chow Kheng helped that ah boy lah! He kenna injured by some kisiao tiger, it's Great Commander Zhou who saved the day!
Cheng Pu: By how? By what?
Kah-kia empat: By shooting an arrow lah! Eh, that one head shot man! Tiger damned garang, also can pwn! No wonder he can hong that chio-bu Da Qiao...
Cheng Pu: I don't believe. Give me one day and I will find out the truth. Nothing but the truth!
To be cont'd...
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