Something really SG'bola from a yaowkui [1] truly SG'bola...

So apparently. this will be a really boliao [2] post. I don't mind any non-SG'bola blokes and gals going ??? over this. But in case any darers want to tread further in...there will be annotations come the end.

Apparently, why I chose to pull this crazy stunt was down to some really weird twists in the Makan Day and I truly hated my solar paneled GSM phone for once. Solar panel as pantat [3], so what?! Can't take photo of my or'caitaokuay [4]... wtf man?! :(

Sorry if I sound lagi [5] vulgar here. It's just that today has been really hectic.

Which goes something like...

First thing in the morning, Uncle ah-Gun finally release that much dreaded ammo liao [6]. Some more I reply back like a gong-kia. Nothing wrong, right? Only daiji [7] is that NEARBY GOT A LAGI TRICKY DEPT. Siaoliao. Come next day, hope Big Boss, Melayu [8] Boss and Ang-moh [9] Boss don't bua gu you [10] on my pantat.

Secondly, work too kisiao. For some funny reason, DDR got a far lesser influx of business. Either that or I still blur cock. [11]

Thirdly, I was like "alamak buay hiu lah! go makan or'caitaokuay@117 Ang-suah" [12]

Can you imagine the kind of cloud 9 I was in when I reached 117? I take MRT to Angsuah station, then I walked like siaokao with a lagi good directional sense. [13] ALL the way to 117 Angsuah where I finally got reunited with my or'caitaokuay.

And this is where the fun starts. We all know Diner en Blanc still went ahead as per planned, PR nightmare or no nightmare. People are starting to upload their makan pics in FB where in fact I'm still cursing my own lack of funds to buy a decent phone. [14]

Yet, it seems that the black carrot cake still tastes the same. Bloody damned hojiak [15], bloody damned shiok [16].

Now this is part of my childhood memories back when I was just a kid. My primary school then was called Henderson Primary School. You guys don't have to search where it is. Whole thing got demolished in place of the current Gan Eng Seng Primary School, which incidentally is somewhere quite a distance off.

Apparently, my principal was lying when she said HPS is not going to move away. But hey! We're all kids back then! And besides, HPS was only history upon this lobo moving up to another lobo school called Gan Eng Seng. [17]

Okay, enough on the digressing here. Why the black carrot cake is so delicious in my memories is down to two things: the sweet black sauce and scrambled eggs. The former tastes just as mild and addictive like the olden days, the latter still that aromatic and smooth as ever. If there's anything to go by, the portions got shrunk. [18] Another nitpicky factor I've got is that the chilli didn't taste as strong like last time round. But who am I to complain? Stereotypical Singaporeans like to do that, but then again no one has ever accused the stereotypical American of being clever or the stereotypical Aussie of being non-racist. Am I part of the stereotypical order? Maybe you should try asking Mogga why he ended up quitting alcohol altogether. Anti-stereotypes are soooo~ underrated.

Okay, sorry for getting out of topic. So onto all the good stuff. When I whiffed the aromatic dish, I got propelled back to ten plus to twenty years back. A lot of locals tend to say that a lot of our food quality had dropped, but to me, that moustache uncle still looked as healthy, alive and kicking.

Hence, is it any wonder that Uncle 117 Angsuah has yet to lost his touch? [19] I don't know him personally, but I still remember him personally. And I think he got a grown up son now. Far older than me also. Now remember what I've said on HPS? 117 is just nearby to that old site and I still remember a couple of my old khakis living at the nearby block. [20]

It took me quite a bit of effort to locate that stall though. The hawker centre is still there, but it got renovated by now. So imagine how long it took me to locate a stall with the history, but not the current header board. Actually, it didn't take that much effort since I still remember the moustache. And the black carrot cake still tasted the same. If I can snag a gf in the future, I suspect I'll bring her there to makan. :)

SOME NOTES ON THE BLACK CARROT CAKE

Now I suspect that there's some kind of ancestral policy behind the sauce. It tastes so sweet, yet so mild. It's like... erm... I don't know how to describe it. Just check out that stall beside the dessert stall. You know... like:

l  lo

The stall is marked with the "O".

O for or'caitaokuay or black carrot cake.

Interestingly enough, my first impression of the stall was his late father (R.I.P). That was my first taste of the dish. And there's no turning back. Come to think of it, maybe his eventual death had something to do with the chilli not that strong and spicy now. T.T

Now on the scrambled eggs. Let me tell you that once it got scrambled on the wok, it stays whole. One whole piece on the plate. I've said it before that it's aromatic and smooth. It can just slide down your throat and the aroma will stay in your taste buds and brains. The texture is really smooth despite being cooked as one whole lump needless to say.

As for the black bits (for the lack of a better term. Uncle, paiseh. [21] T_T), it's pretty soft. Okay, that's what carrot cake is all about, so just ignore this piece. Now where do I continue?

Bzt, brain farted. Sorry. x.x

I admit I tend to judge with my heart in this kind of gourmet talk.

AND LASTLY, A FINAL NOTE ON ALL THINGS NOT THAT IMPORTANT

There's a getai at another nearby area. Parked within a big ass parking area to be exact. All I can remember are two things:

1. "lonzong dio samman" [22]

2. That sweet looking chiobu [23] with legs at the void deck whom I've passed by.

[1]: Hungry ghost. Or hungry fellow in practical terms.

[2]: Bored as in nothing better to do.

[3]: Backside (or more bluntly put, the ass)

[4]: Black Carrot Cake. But you guys should have known by now.

[5]: Very

[6]: Already

[7]: Problem

[8]: Malay

[9]: Foreigner. He might not be truly one though due to his name having something to do with Wales itself

[10]: Spreading butter all over. Means getting interrogated

[11]: A guy who get easily confused/misled

[12]: Makan means eating or food. "Alamak buayhiu lah" means don't care anymore. Ang-suah means Red Hill. Specifically this

[13]: Dogs back then during the kampung days had a ridiculously sharp sense of direction. It's been said that they can find their way back to your house if you decide that abandoning your (ex) best friend is the way to go.

[14]: And to think that my colleagues already have I-Phones/Android/Samsung/whatever. If even an auntie can get one with a pay no different from mine, it means that I'm a failure. -.-'

[15]: Delicious

[16]: Satisfying

[17]: This is just a joke made in the face of all things education during the 90s. And besides, Gan Eng Seng might be an ah-beng school back then, but it's nowhere near lobo standard. Lobo - Lazy bastard.

[18]: Ask any Singaporean and he will tell you how much inflation has screwed the country. Lol even our Government had said so countless times before.

[19]: One of the two things in common Uncle had with Sakaguchi Hironobu. The other one being recognizable via the moustache.

[20]: Junjie was the one who introduced me to gaming via the old school Street Fighter 2 (way before the New Challengers hit the deck). Weizhong was that one lobo who unwittingly taught this lobo here on how to swear.

[21]: Sorry

[22]: (Everyone)getting traffic summon tickets

[23]: Pretty girl/lady. Incidentally, I think she's a local Singaporean. See? I still prefer SG girls! [24]

[24]: To Private Ryan, YouTube Man, Salty Fish, Danny.L.Glover, LYK and lastly but not least, 小胖 - You all don't have to laugh at my SDU status, because I know you all will get hitched far sooner than me. Pastor T will be all-too-ready for pre-marriage counseling if needed to. So yeah, I'll be laughing at all you lobos and myself as well. :P

Apparently, this is how you kill a troll...

But seriously, dude really exists...

So has this guy lost in Wrestlemania YET? O.O

Gangnam Style? Are you freaking serious????

Firstly, let me just say that Mr Brown himself has inspired me to pull off this super retarded post due to his #gangnam style hashtag usage. But no worries and kosong [1] fire alarm here. No one has to call the mata [2] as well. Because unlike what a certain troll in Yahoo! might rant, I'm perfectly normal. At least normal enough to live my own life as my own man. That is until Daddy Upstairs summan [3] me tengchu. [4]

[1]: Zero in Malay

[2]: Police in Malay

[3]: summon in Singlish

[4]: returning home in Hokkien

And now to prove that SG truly has its very own kisiao lobos on board...

 Of course these fellas not really kisiao. Just like me, they have their own lives and they're not ashamed to flaunt it all.

WARNING!

I WILL NOT BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANY FORM OF BRAIN DAMAGE DUE TO MASSIVE MIND RAPE!!!!!!

I REPEAT: THIS IS A RETARDED POST!!!!

Just doing this retro lolz for fun...

P.S: If you think this is about Guy spamming his Level 3 Super, you're way too dumb to live. Guy has always been a character with an absurdly high learning curve for a very good reason. Try pulling off a constantly successful rate in hit confirming. I'll lulz at your immediate epic fail. Also, you'll risk insinuating that Daigo was pretty dumb to fall for it as well. Which is bullshit anyway especially if we're talking about Kiyo aka the best Guy user in Japan within the Zero 3 circuit.

So will we see a cosplay of these fellas come TGX Singapore 2012?

Yes, I know Kimberly Chia will do a Chunli cosplay. Yeah, I truly hope for Guy and Cody cosplayers due to the cold hard fact that they're the most underrated badasses in gaming history. [1]
But still maybe we forgot some fellas out there?

Sugu raku ni shite yaru

Ore no... kachi da

Ore wa hitori de jibun da

For every Chunli, there's a female Heidern

Special mention due to that retarded decision to put Billy Kane as the DLC instead of her. 

My take on the above issue: WTF, SNK?!

Final guy on the list. The fact that he might be a French doesn't have anything to do with Diner en Blanc itself. Simply put, he's way too badass for this type of lolz.

Oainikusama, c'est la vie~

 

Elisabeth Blanctorche

Added vid: Forgot to add this in. Yes, me=loser. T_T

Just have something to say/rant...

I know it's a freaky coincident, but seriously guys...

W...T...F

I don't know who was the arsehole behind this prank, but quote obviously somebody ought to be dragged out and shot dead. And I don't mean little Dylan's family or even himself.

I always like to boast about this: My parents have never gave me anything bar that one single rule not meant to be broken: Personal Responsibility. Note the capitals? Yes, that's not a typo. It's my brand of life and I'm proud to show it. I never said I'm a saint. I don;t believe in one, to be frank. Do I swear? Yes. Do I rage over people whom I do NOT like a single bit? Yes as well. But you see, guys, the logic is very simple. When you spill a glass of milk, you must have that duty to clean the mess up. The fact that your parents can and will bail you out once or a hundred times doesn't mean a dime if the police end up catching you committing murder, see?

I can't be bothered with the dogs. I'd really like to say that. Unfortunately, human beings are pretty funny. Things we should learn and do, we heck care. Whatever that shouldn't meant to be, we simply jump ahead.

I don't care about nationalities. That's idiotic. I only care about whether the respective parents are high on booze/weed/shrooms/LSD. And the biggest problem is that I can just humiliate a dead person behind net anonymity. What you're seeing here is just one of the many instances where stupid people stirred up social issues no different from acts of felony. If I can earn a quid for every Janos Slynt decapitated, I'll be filthy rich within the next ten minutes or so.

 P.S: I'd like to continue my rantings, but commonsense decree that all things should have a limit.

Lore: The War of Mourners' Ford

CAUSE

No one knew why this six day battle happened as both the Kalaran Empire and Teutonia were still recovering from the infamous mass invasion declared on both fronts. [*] Due to the nature of engagement, this battle should be seen as a war rather than a battle.

[*]: Mockingly known as Aital's Rape by Teutonia and the Empire, this expedition was declared by the Great Vahn during that time, Aital Dinayev. As it turned out, Vahn Aital claimed to have been raped half a dozen times and he declared war on Teutonians and Kalarans alike as a result. Ironically, Aital Dinayev was never a he, but rather a she. Even more ironic however, was the fact that this war ended through Aital being exposed as a woman by her own men and carried back to Slarvea as a sex slave for those previously riding under her banner.

THE COMBATANTS:

KINGDOM OF TEUTONIA

LEADERS:
BERIAD SONG
(RANK: WAR COMMANDANT)

SER CYEN VILLEAS
(RANK: GENERAL WHO HOLDS THE FORT)
SER KITH LAMBIS
(RANK: GENERAL OF GLORY)
SER NICEAS BAUZ
(RANK: GENERAL OF THE SWIFT CAVALRY)
ROBBART KORE*
*He was also husband to Annui and father to Alesis the Fiercely Beautiful 
(RANK: LORD MASTER OF THE OAK)
ANNUI OF CIES*
(RANK: FIRST BOW OF THE FIANNA)
*Whether Annui truly participated in this war remains unknown due to word of this being hailed as rumour.
Note:
Annui was pregnant with her only child, Alesis of Grainne, two months prior to the conflict.
However, she might  have given birth by then.
KERSTEIN DE BLADEFORT
(RANK: WRAITH LORD OF THE SHADOW BROTHERHOOD)

Leader:
Ser Beriad "The Beardless Wolf" Song
Total strength:
Around 10000
Casualty:
Around 3000 to 4000
Note:
Numbers were muddied due to inclusion of mercenaries

(Infantry)
Halberdiers
Leader:
Ser Cyen "Fat Bastard" Villeas

Total strength:
Around 5000

Casualties:
Around 2000

(Heavy cavalry)

Knights

Leader:
Ser Kith "Old Stallion" Lambis
Total strength:
Around 150

Casualties:
No more than 20

 Note:
Teutonian knights are regarded as the best warriors born with noble lineage, be they on foot or mounted. 

(Light cavalry)
Reivers

Leader:
Ser Niceas "You're Busted" Bauz
Total strength:
Around 300

Casualties:
Around 50-70

(Auxiliary)
Aegil Orden

Leader:
Robbart "Henpecked" Kore
Total strength:
Around 400

Casualties:
None

Note:
Official figures due to minimal engagement with enemy forces.

(Assault)
Fianna
Leader:
Annui of Cies

Total strength:
Unknown; speculated to be under 100

Casualties:
Unknown; rumoured to have one single casualty
Note:
Actual numbers unknown due to shrouded secrecy surrounding this much feared warrior band.

(Reconnaissance/Skirmishing)

Mercenaries

Leader:
Kerstein de Bladefort
Note:
This is assuming that the mercenaries have a common leader
Total strength:
Unknown due to lack in official figures
Note:
At least the Tamurians and Shadow Brotherhood were known to be involved in the war.

Causality:
Unknown due to lack in official figures

Note:
Mercenaries are looked down upon in Teutonia, hence the lack in official figures all round.

A/N: The Shadow Brotherhood is the most renowned mercenary organisation where their word is the most valuable gem in The Known World. Membership will only be allowed to Elves and Half Elves.

KALARAN EMPIRE

LEADERS:
LOUTHES ELIADEN
(RANK: VANGUARD COMMANDER)

VALAD TEIPOS
(RANK: HAND OF THE PIKE)
STEUBAS OUSER
(RANK: HAND OF THE ARMOUR)
RONCO KEBLAS
(RANK: HAND OF THE WIND)

Leader:
Louthes "The Wise Owl" Eliaden
Total strength:
Around 6000
Casualty:
Estimated more than 4000
Note:
The war had also claimed Valad and Steubas while Ronco was hanged as a deserter at Louthes' orders

(Infantry)
Legionaries
Leader:
Valad "Old Pike" Teipos
Total strength:
Around 5000
Casualties:
At least 3000

(Heavy cavalry)
Knights

Leader:
Steubas "King Raper" Ouser
Total strength:
Around 400

Causality: around less than 10 survived

(Light cavalry)
Sagittarii
Leader:
Ronco "The Swift" Keblas

Total strength:
Around 600

Causality:
Around 50 in all survived

DAY 1

The Kalaran Empire drew strategic first blood when they took the disputed land of Geran by surprise. The High Governor [1] at that time was Leric Rahm, a good administrator, but a poor commander. He was promptly hanged, his wife and daughters getting raped and burnt alive below the gallows. The Teutonian residents were given a choice: surrender as slaves or share their fate (Leric's for men and boys; his wife and daughters' for the women and girls). Few chose the former and many chose the latter.

DAY 2

The High Lord of Teutonia, King Sigurd XIII [2] entrusted the post of War Commandant [3] upon Lord Beriad Song. Against vocal protests from the Unseelie, Beriad went ahead with his plans of meeting the threat with a lesser force. By then, the Kalarans had occupied the defensive high ground known as Leon's Hold. [4] Encamped at the other end of Mourners' Ford, Beriad adopted a closed formation as the sole preventive measure.

DAY 3

By then, surrounding settlements had been seized by Sagittarii outriders. Tales of horrendous atrocities worse than that of Geran goaded the defending forces to their breaking point. Yet, Beriad refused to budge.

DAY 4

Expansion from the Kalaran side was swiftly halted with staying back and defending whatever land taken being the only measure. Sensing reversal at hand, Beriad sent forth his entire army of Reivers [5] to recapture a fixed portion of the lands rather than trying to take as much as possible. To all bar any Generals under him, an untested War Commandant had truly gone insane. However, his risky gamble paid off handsomely as only minimal losses were suffered. As it turned out, the residents were shaken but unharmed. Five settlements were retaken while the Empire retained control of the remaining six. [6]

DAY 5

Request for reinforcement [7] soon reached the main forces back in Geran. In response, Beriad planned a preemptive deployment instead of halting the enemy's backup troops. So long as his halberdiers stayed their ground, nothing would be lost. Out of nowhere, the Kalarans executed the final throw of die by sending their entire battalion of knights on a frontal assault position with legionaries deployed in advance at either wing. Being familiar with the terrain, Beriad displayed a masterful show of reverse psychology. [8] Steubas Ouser personally led the fully armoured knights' frontal charge, the Teutonian infantry suffered severe losses as a result [9], but knowledge on the other front made them remaining steadfast. The Empire paid dearly for this rash mistake with less than ten in total surviving.

Come the midnight moon, Beriad deployed a mercenary assassin with a hundred Reivers summoned back as assault decoys. [10]

DAY 6

In the final night, the Teutonians burnt at least half the Kalaran encampment as Louthes Eliaden managed to rally his men in time for their decisive retreat. They had lost the battle while the Teutonians stayed to true to their motto of honour. [11] With the Fianna providing the killing blow, the Kalarans were thrown into disarray as death via friendly killings [12] far outstripped the actual casualties killed by the Fianna. As arrows, blades, and spears were flashed all over, hooded riders charged and trampled every enemy in sight. Louthes Eliaden was also crippled for life due to an arrow lodged at the back of his knee.

Around the same time, the Shadow Brotherhood managed to play a crucial role in retaking Geran via a daring assault with eighty of their numbers. [13]

CONSEQUENCES

Upon Geran seized back, Beriad ordered his men to exact vengeance upon the Kalaran folks remaining behind due to the aggressors' hasty retreat. [14] Only the finest of womenfolk were spared from death and even then, their fate wouldn't be likely anywhere better than a harlot. Due to Steubas' erroneous decision costing the lives of his men who were part of the nobility, House Steubas was officially deseated. [15]

[1]: Title conferred by the Quintet Church. However, immunity is not included for such individuals, for a High Governor must be someone appointed from any of the three feuding Causacean factions, i.e. Kalaran Empire, Teutonia, and Slarvea. In short, anything still can happen. Just that someone needs to enforce the law, order, and social well being of the people there.

[2]: Also known informally as Sigurd the Single Handed due to him being a fearsome swordsman despite his right hand missing since birth. Rumour has it that this was down to an unsuccessful attempt at royal assassination.

[3]: This is a title conferred only during times of immediate war. Upon conclusion, this title will be revoked.

[4]: Named after the legendary hunter and founder of Aegil Orden, Leon Talonarc. Teutonian folklore has it that his lady love, Ellen Lowen, blessed his oaken longbow, Fail-not, with her parting tears before she got married off to another man against her will. Thus, it's been said that Leon has never erred any aim ever after with every shot fired proven lethal. Leon's Hold, incidentally, was the name of his unbreachable fortress built from uncut stones with Ser Bran Stonekeep being its architect and builder.

[5]: It was later on revealed after the battle that the Aegil Orden had played a major part by setting up traps and sniping the enemy from afar. Utterly unnerved, Ronco Keblas committed a major tactical blunder by committing his men to an imminent death pursuit. With morale utterly wrecked, it only took Niceas' Reivers minimal effort in harassing the legionaries stationed at the surrounding high ground. Under Kith's orders, every Teutonian knight sounded his warhorn upon every fixed interval while riding about alone. This caused the people to revolt in surest hope that they will be liberated. In the end, it was a second contingent of Reivers combined with the full force of Teutonian knights, which took the enemy defenders by surprise. Indeed rumours of atrocities were just that: rumours.

[6]: The Teutonian forces responsible for the subsequent defence were the entire battalion of knights under Kith Lambis. However, biggest credit should go to Ser Jon Wood the Young due to well coordinated deployment of reinforcement troops beforehand as the Marquis Warden back then.

[7]: In response to the Kalaran's backup deployment, Beriad inexplicably ordered Cyen to lead half his halberdiers marching to the eastern valley of Hallid via the few narrow detours securely guarded. As it turned out, Robbart had already stationed his Aegil Orden beforehand in waiting for the enemy troops to arrive before their hidden sight. This was down to the five aforementioned cities already secured, hence freeing up the Aegil Orden. In the end, the Kalaran supply troops were brutally trapped and sniped while their main troops got themselves tactically gridlocked.

[8]: Upon news of Beriad's tactical response, the Kalaran knights swiftly charged them en route. Much to the Kalaran field commander, Steubas Ouser's dismay, only his knights were engaged in battle as reinforcement coming from Geran was annihilated.

[9]: During the resultant armed confrontation, Beriad manned the defence masterfully as his men had already understood his intention. In spite of massive numbers of halberdiers wounded or dead, the enemy onslaught was repelled with Louthes' son, Aries, slain in single combat by Beriad himself. Indeed Steubas' decision to maintain the legionaries' presence would mean the charging knights having no support at all.

[10]: Unlike what one may think otherwise, it was an unnamed assassin starting the motion via mere appearance in front of the sentry guards. Yet, the Reivers ended up striking first with the Tamurians wielding bardiche axes pressing forward from natural cover. Such a dual layered offensive would ensure the Tamurians pinning back the Kalaran defence on every front due to the Reivers' mobility sustaining the disruption. The plan, however, was declared a half-failure since only Steubas Ouser was slain. The assassin got captured as a result and was never mentioned again.

[11]: "Vengeance and Boon all by Word of Honour"

[12]: Causacean euphemism for death between friendly units through stampede and chaos.

[13]: Actual assault alone would not be enough. By disguising as merchants via altered documents, the infiltrators led by Meister Elder, Huan de Weon, managed to poison the main well. The subsequent frontal raid was a success with Kerstein de Bladefort proving his skill in the blade at most forefront.

[14]: It was rumoured that the Gaffer of the Red Lions' Teesside Division, Moggray Tonn, was part of the military personnel involved in the war. If so, then that would truly explain why his family have stated him to be a broken man soon after.

[15]: The act of removal from noble status. This can be applicable to either individuals or an entire noble House.

+++

Legionary

Sagittarii

Reivers

Agilaz

Shock Tactics

Fianna 

Teutons
Mountain
Forest
My land is not your land...

So apparently, a phenom is about to change his colours...

Josh McEachran signed for us on a 1 year loan. Apparently, talks have been going on pertaining a 6 month deal instead. Thankfully not. Because we truly need this Lil'Josh. Even if it's only for one season since I'll be the greatest retard ever bar Jinglebell [1] himself if I'm to say we will sign him post season should we get promoted. Just don't ask me how Mogga weaved his magic wand given the competition. Lucky old sod [2] had signed like... wtf near 10 blokes?

How we're gonna use Lil'Josh

Firstly and foremost, Josh isn't the the winger guy. He's no Muzzy [3] who can burn people alive with pace abound. Mogga has said it clearly: He's the type of fella who can control the ball [4] and do a Xavi/Sneijder. [5] So it's outright stupid to put him out wide. But still a few interesting possibilities:

LJ

CM 1  CM 2

LJ stands for Lil'Josh [6] and whoever are the two central mids [7] in front of him will have a very interesting movement play going for themselves. Simply put, LJ as the holding mid is a viable option since we'll be talking about a playmaker deployed deep. Yet on the other hand, movement from the two red blokes is a must. We need them two to track back for full 90 mins plus stoppage if LJ is to weave his magic. And the reason is very simple: He's no Thomson, he's no Arca. He's actually someone who can go forward and create play. For all we  know, he's not afraid to make tackles [8] plus he had a decent pace as well for a central mid. Therefore, we need two guys to cover our arse instead of one.

CM 1  CM 2

LJ

LJ being plonked in front of the two will mean that this is a far more straightforward formation. The two blokes will quite obviously have their movement range reduced ala zoning the middle park. That means LJ will have far better freedom to roam without any worries that the two fellas behind will cock up. Given how we tend to play our football [9], we can say it truly works.

CM 1  CM 2

WF 1                    WF 2

LJ

No.9

Alternatively, No.9 can be replaced with an orthodox striker [10]. Now this will be a far more cavalier approach as that will put LJ into the most forefront. The vital players will be the two wing forwards w/o any doubt. Off-the-ball, they will be truly needed to draw the defenders/midfielders away. With the ball, they can just proceed to do their customary stuff. Simply put, this is a bluff deployment where the two wing forwards need to be really intelligent in order to play that pair of living dummies. The two central blokes should just surge run whenever the opponents are showing signs of a defensive regroup. [11]

So for now, here concludes www.tactical-talking-cock.com [12]. Sorry for such a short post. Apparently, I need to do something about my uncompleted latest chapter for A Ranger's Tale. [13]

[1]: Aegon Frey is a literal poor sod. The fact that he's born in House Frey wasn't his fault. Just like no one will want to be born as Osama Bin Laden's son.

[2]: Apparently, good things happen to nice guys after all. I should just give Mogga a bottle of fine wine one of these days just to express my congrats come his next wedding anniversary. Sadly, he never sipped a drop of alcohol ever since like donkey years back. A good role model for our SG youngsters here. Plus I won't have surplus money to burn anyway.

[3]: Muzzy is NOT a slur here. Go get a decent education if you think I'm being disrespectful towards Muslims. I suspect I may end up wielding Longclaw one of these days depending on how loud the dogs will bark online.

[4]: And the play as well. Chelsea didn't seal him a recent five year deal for nothing you know. Hopefully, someone upstairs don't screw this up.

[5]: Or to be far more accurately, Jack Wilshere. Yes, all you Gooners can go goner-mode on me now. :P

[6]: Apparently, only stupid people will put two and two together just to get a five. If you don't understand darker Hokkien, you're officially pardoned.

[7]: Most likely Bailey and Leadbitter. Plus Haroun as well since I don't see him as a wide/wing player.

[8]: Hopefully, he won't pull off a Lee Cattermole. He's a bloody good lad and player, but somebody will always go wrong on the pitch.

[9]: And just to set the record straight, I've finally realized why we lost that opener. Because we played worse than shit. 'Nuff said. T_T

[10]: Amazingly enough, we may have more of such players in our squad now. If only we can start seeing Curtis Main/Scott McDonald in action. :(

[11]: This is actually somewhat of your textbook stuff if we're talking about Sun Zi's Art of War. No joking.

[12]: If you think this is an actual URL, you're too dumb to live. Don't bother to do a Google here.

[13]: Lucky Thirteen hopefully. Apparently, that crazy Jon Snow analysis post have given me a focus drain. Prospects of doing one on Daenerys has officially given me the creeps and shivers. Jaime Lannister up next? I dunno srsly. :(

On that guy in my (ex) FB profile pic...

DISCLAIMER!

I don't profess to know everything mainly because this post was done without first person experience with the books. In fact I've already screwed up on Chapter Jon XIII in A Dance With Dragons. So yeah, that truly says a lot. At the same time, I've just woken up, hence sucks to be me.

WARNING!
Swearing ahead. Proceed with caution especially if you're under 16.
You've been warned under the rules of e-democracy. Fullstop.

Opener... HELL YEAH!!!!

So now it's that moment every Boro-ther is waiting for. Our opening match vs Barnsley. Firstly, let me say that this match might be far harder than one might think. But before we reach that part, it's tactics first and foremost:

Key Man:

Kevin Thomson

I know ppl will go U MAD??? on me just because Tommo [1] got crocked for most of the last couple of seasons or so. But we shouldn't doubt his ability to hold and create play from a deep lying position. It's only a major bummer that he got crocked. Period. Against a team far more likely to park ten buses in front of goal than Los Rojiblancos' failure to get 3 pts out of the Bernabeu itself, Thomson's ability to hold up play will be key to winning or dropping points. Maybe I should just illustrate a simple three man diagram:

To protect a fortress, you must have able fortifications. A fortress is used to sustain the forces in all things resources and reinforcements, be it military or supplies. If Tommo holding up play can be seen as stocking up your supplies, then creating play from the deep will be akin to sending a stream of reinforcements to break down the enemy. Mogga's onus shouldn't be smacking the correct goal. That, I'm pretty much sure. Rather, it's all about sustained pressure. With the ball, we can wreck havoc and pull off our very own off-the-ball Untypical Boro. Ten buses or a hundred won't mean a single shit without that much needed fuel. Likewise, we can't do a dime without the ball. Possession quota don't win you games, but shitty possession play will cost you all 3 points. Thomson is our possession lynchpin. Period. So will the real Ryan Shawcross pls stand up? I know Tony Pulis is still at the real Stoke.

So now comes to Bailey and Leadbitter. How will the two play? imo it's very likely that they won't end up roaming forward that much. Because we need to protect Tommo, we need these two Boro blokes to do the zoning job. Ofc this is only on paper, but my point is that the two blokes in red will be Tommo's best bet as the dual layered screen. Yet, that will only mean far more danger going forward. Provided we're playing a wing-forward based formation, Tommo's passing options will be maximized. Sideways/diagonal and forward passes. The former will rely on whoever's trickery and pace available. Passing the ball forward to Leadbitter can also be deceptively dangerous. Because this is that one red lobo who can create a pass within a blink of an eye. So long as our guys keep moving and bamboozling, Lead-biter can just easily spray lead within a 20 yard reach.

But what about the trolls?

Trolls? What trolls? Without the ball, we can't do a dime. Likewise, parking ten buses without fuel at hand is an equally shit option as well. At the end of the day, if they can troll with ten guys, we can just trollololol just as easily with half that number. If they want to foul us out of rhythm, we can just opt to draw unnecessary fouls from ten blokes straight. [2] Easier said than done? It depends a lot on our off-the-ball movement far more than what one guy can do with the ball. The fans can get pretty annoying on both ends, I'm damn sure of that. But imagine what will happen if the fouling swing to our favour. No officials will like to be called a piece of shit in black. Unless someone can tell me Nou Camp belongs to Barnsley. It's a test of patience, a test of composure. Because we have the players, but not the proven record.

He who score first laugh the loudest while he who score true laugh the best

1-0 vs 2-0=Mogga's famous goal cushion theory. Will it work against us come the crunch? Far better for us to win 1-0 than to throw away a 2-0 lead. Because no matter what, the latter case can be truly detrimental to the team morale come within 90 mins plus stoppage time. Maybe we should just take a breather and take our pick. Come post 70 mins, how the match pans out will shape the result for good bar a freak. [3] Again, it's how both teams hold their composure. For Barnsley, the biggest problem lies in the fans still having something to shout about so long as the score means that they have a chance to snatch something even if it's out of nothing.

Defence? Not 4 n00bs pls thnx bai

The skipper is Rhys Williams and I posted in my FB back then calling Mogga a shrewd bastard. No offence intended to my fellow Red Lions. Rather, it's a compliment because I truly doubt no one would see this coming. [4] By granting Rhys the armband, Mogga is telling him 2 things:

1. In you, I trust because yes, you can.

2. You're no longer a boy now. Just like how Robb Stark can never measure up to Jon Snow. [5]

He's an athletic and able bugger. [6] As a leader, I have no issues with him because I called it a masterstroke of man management from Mogga. If shit happens and we have to sell him, any positive about him will factor in. Most of them all: Leadership. From the dead centre of defence, he's been proven to be an able defender. Above everything else though, I can call him a Zhao Yun in red. Just like how the real McCoy displayed exceptional courage at the most forefront as a leader [7], likewise Rhys' athleticism and Academy pedigree will be more than enough to rally the younger players and having that chance to stamp his image in the minds of the more experienced players.

3 VS 1

1 point gained or 3 points lost? Would Barnsley be happy with 3 points gained? Or maybe it should be seen as a bonus compared to the most ideal 1? Let's just face it, guys. The season is a marathon [8], NOT a sprint. A good beginner doesn't count for anything if your London Bridge comes falling down by the end of season. This is a very damning question for both fans and players alike, I'm sure of that. Yet, a good man motivator doesn't rely on results. Rather, it's WHAT he can do post-match. Simply put, 3 points with a good outing is the best for us. Yet, should the better team fail to win or even *touch wood!* lost this match, it's not the end of the world. Be it us or Barnsley, I won't say may the best team win. That's way too damn PC fake. Let me just say that "May the Best Team Stay Strong".

[1]: Amazingly, Tomo roughly means "friend" in Japanese. And yes, it's not a typo here.

[2]: Truly doubt man no.11 will be that dumb. That's why I say ten blokes, not eleven.

[3]: A word made famous by the late all time great Jack Charlton himself.

[4]: And besides, guessing who will be the skipper has always been every loyal supporter's fave pastime.

[5]: There's that difference called Ygritte vs Jeyne Westerling. Robb died a timely freak death because he's not even a leader. At least Jon Snow's only personal screw up was declaring war upon House Bolton and even then he's considered MIA by GRRM himself. Blame it on knife no.4 and that stupid Giant lol!

[6]: No offense meant to Rhys, any Aussie and just about any homosexuals. In fact, the AnalAlex I know of isn't a gay and he's my Aussie e-buddy. :)

[7]: If you think Zhao Yun's exploits are merely a figment of the novels, then you're too dumb to live just because you know nothing. I did a multi blog post on his end=Let the trolls cry and repent. Amen.

[8]: To a certain Mr Eric Soh again, you should claim credit for teaching me this simple, yet most oft forgotten logic. :)

All Hail the Bastard of Baratheon!

DISCLAIMER!

 I never have any first hand experience with the original novels (A Song of Ice and Fire) or the HBO series (A Game of Thrones). Anything and everything here is an anal-ysis because you might see quite a lot of ass pull here. Any nicknames not in lieu with the SOP  is done by me.

WARNING!

 Vulgarities ahead! Do not progress if you're under 16. See? I'm pretty democratic to let people choose, right?

My take on Discworld quotes...

Apparently, I should be termed a hypocrite due to Interesting Times being that only Discworld novel I've read. Of course the internet is a wonderful place as you all will see below. :D

DISCLAIMER!

Being politically incorrect doesn't mean I should demand the same from the rest. If there's anything to go by, I'm someone who truly respect the right to have opinions. Including for myself.

It wasn't that her [Susan's] parents didn't believe in such things. They didn't need to believe in them. They knew they existed. They just wished they didn't.
[p. 104] (Hogfather)

I say: Denial is personal and universal. Just ask every single human being and they will tell you their own unique story. Even me myself by my own self-estimation.

'Yeah, well, I didn't sign up for world domination,' said Medium Dave. 'That sort of thing gets you into trouble.'
[p. 161] (Hogfather)

I say: If Kim Jung Il is still alive, I truly doubt he will let his guys play deserters.

TO CHANGE THE FATE OF ONE INDIVIDUAL IS TO CHANGE THE WORLD. I REMEMBER THAT. SO SHOULD YOU.
Death still hadn't turned to face her.
'I don't see why we shouldn't change things if it makes the world better,' said Susan.
HAH.
'Are you too scared to change the world?'
Death turned. The very sight of his expression made Susan back away.
He advanced slowly towards her. His voice, when it came, was a hiss.
YOU SAY THAT TO ME? YOU STAND THERE IN YOUR PRETTY DRESS AND SAY THAT TO ME? YOU? YOU PRATTLE ON ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD? COULD YOU FIND THE COURAGE TO ACCEPT IT? TO KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE AND DO IT, WHATEVER THE COST? IS THERE ONE HUMAN BEING ANYWHERE WHO KNOWS WHAT DUTY MEANS?
[p. 155] (Soul Music)

I say: If you know how to say "Yes, we can", then make sure you know how to wield the axe.

Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there.
[p. 309] (Soul Music)

I say: Apparently, making up the numbers must be why we end up seeing so many people on the news itself daily.

'Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself,' said the Patrician (...). 'The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.'
[p. 257] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Amazingly enough, that's how dictators always meet their end ten out of ten times. Figuratively speaking of course.

'I warn you, dragon, the human spirit is-'
They never found out what it was, or at least what he thought it was, although possibly in the dark hours of a sleepless night some of them might have remembered the subsequent events and formed a pretty good and gut-churning insight, to whit, that one of the things sometimes forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human.
[p. 241] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: There's a very famous Chinese saying: The heart is willing, but not the body. （心有余而力不足）

You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless, and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape - the great face pressed even closer, so that Wonse was staring into the pitiless depths of his eyes - we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
[p. 228] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Is it any wonder why A Song of Ice and Fire is such a cynical work? Ironically, the fact that I can't do a dime about something only means I do have the right to have opinions.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
[p. 242, footnote to government hushing things up] (Hogfather)

I say: Footnote says it all.

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
[p. 331] (Soul Music)

I say: If you're the certified enemy of the world, it might be the most possible ending. Because they tend to say cockroaches don't die easily.

You could save people. You could get there in the nick of time. And something could snap its fingers and say, no , it has to be that way. Let me tell you how it has to be. This is how the legend goes.
[p. 363] (Soul Music)

I say: Am I sensing fatalism at it's very best? I don't know. Seriously. [1]

'Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.'
[p. 265, Albert] (Hogfather)

I say: If you think this is the best way to collapse the global economy, you're not wrong on such a count. Note that the key word is people.

AUDITORS OF REALITY. THEY THINK OF LIFE AS A STAIN ON THE UNIVERSE. A PESTILENCE. MESSY. GETTING IN THE WAY.
'In the way of what?'
THE EFFICIENT RUNNING OF THE UNIVERSE.
[p. 365] (Hogfather)

I say: The universe has never been considered as efficient. Period.

'I'm not a thief, madam. But if I were, I would be the kind that steals fire from the gods.'
'We've already got fire.'
'There must be an upgrade by now.'
[p. 377, Teatime and Susan] (Hogfather)

I say: Upgrading isn't foolproof. It's an ongoing process until the world goes extinct.

Worlds of belief, she [Susan] thought. Just like oysters. A little piece of shit gets in and then a pearl grows around it.
[p. 393] (Hogfather)

I say: It takes nine months to produce a baby and countless shit to make a positive human being.

YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?
[p. 423] (Hogfather)

I say: This shouldn't atheists saying that. Propaganda is very real and man made for a very good reason.

This was music that had not only escaped but had robbed a bank on the way out. It was music with its sleeves rolled up and its top button undone, raising its hat and grinning and stealing the silver.
It was music that went down to the feet by way of the pelvis without paying a call on Mr. Brain.
[p. 113] (Soul Music)

I say: I'm not too sure what this means. I'm only a Higher NiTec graduate who merely understand the basic notion of an acid trip.

'And I suppose you know what sound is made by one hand clapping, do you?' said the holy man nastily.
YES. CL. THE OTHER HAND MAKES THE AP.
[p. 24] (Soul Music)

I say: A person is incapable of things that will decide something so much more. Be it for the better or worse. That's why government is a legit concept.

'Never trust a ruler who puts his faith in tunnels and bunkers and escape routes. The chances are that his heart isn't in the job.'
[p. 257, Vetinari] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: He who bail first is a scoundrel. Just don't ask me how many of such people.

But of course there were the rules. Everyone knew there were rules. They just had to hope like Hell that the gods knew the rules, too.
[p. 263] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: The English enjoy singing their unofficial footballing anthem. Goes something like "You don't know what you're doing!"

'I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people,' said the man [Vetinari]. 'You are wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.'
[p. 302] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Yet another reason why G.R.R Martin is a living genius.

' I really should talk to him, sir. He's had a near-death experience!'
'We all do. It's called living.'
[p. 406, Stibbons and Ridcully] (Hogfather)

I say: But still Death comes to all. Before that, let's see how often we have to live life upon the knife's edge.

'I'm a raven, aren't I?' it said. 'One of the few birds who speak. The first thing people say is, oh, you're a raven, go on, say the N word... If I had a penny for every time that's happened, I'd-'
[Quoth the raven, p. 50] (Soul Music)

I say: ...earn my first 1 million bucks within a week.

Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
Or what, for that matter.
[p. 15] (Soul Music)

I say: [1]

Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.
[p. 170] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Us vs Them? Sounds familiar to me.

Of course, there were various groups seeking his overthrow, and this was right and proper and the sign of a vigorous and healthy society. No-one could call him unreasonable about the matter. Why, hadn't he founded most of them himself? And what was so beautiful was the way they spent nearly all their time bickering with one another.
Human nature, the Patrician always said, was a marvellous thing. Once you understood where its levers were.
[p. 85] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Chaos is the key to order.

It was amazing, this mystic business. You tell them a lie, and then when you don't need it any more you tell them another lie and tell them they're progressing along the road to wisdom. Then instead of laughing they follow you even more, hoping that at the heart of all the lies they'll find the truth. And bit by bit they accept the unacceptable.
[p. 108] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Propaganda on every front is something truly progressive. The greatest proof of how humans have evolved over time.

'You have the right to remain silent,' he [Carrot] said. 'You have the right not to injure yourself falling down the steps on the way to the cells. You have the right not to jump out of high windows. You do not have to say anything, you see, but anything you do say, well, I have to take it down and it might be used as evidence.'
[p. 190] (Guards! Guards!)

I say: Apparently, blokes like the Gestapo and Kempeitai tried this stunt with major success. Interestingly enough, it actually took a whopping 18 years and 78 days in prison before the West Memphis 3 got acquitted over that something...

It's actually something Aussie inspired. No offense meant, Mub and AA.

My take on Interesting Times by Sir Terry Pratchett himself

I'm feeling politically incorrect today...before I scoot off to work.

Interesting Times

Mighty battles! Revolution! Death! War! (and his sons Terror and Panic, and daughter Clancy). [1] The oldest and most inscrutable empire on the Discworld is in turmoil, brought about by the revolutionary treatise What I Did On My Holidays. [2] Workers are uniting, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes. [3]

There is a curse. 

They say: 

May You Live in Interesting Times

[Intro]

I say: We're already living in one. Shit happens=Everybody's Shit outta Luck.

According to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle, chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.
[p. 12]

I say: That's how revolutions work, my friends. Still I don't remember most of them having lasting success on the people's front after victory achieved. 

Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like "What is my purpose in life?" very quickly lacked both.

I say: Someone should just create a space in the Oxford dictionary for the term "professional hero". Not that I truly know what it means though. I'm right now rushing  for time. :S

The Emperor had all the qualifications for a corpse except, as it were, the most vital one.

I say: That's why revolutions were won in the history itself, my friends (refer to Ly Tin Weedle's part).

"I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting "Forward, brave comrades!" you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the one wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!"

 -Rincewind gives a speech on politics. (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times)

I say: There's a famous saying that goes something like "you know a politician is lying when you see the lips moving".

Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh."

-Magic armour is not all it's cracked up to be.

I say: Muammar Gaddaffi died because of this. Apparently, his people should be his magic armour.

'They're the cream!'
Rincewind sighed.
'Cohen, they're the cheese.'
[p. 88, or 7a7a]

I say: Elitism, thy name is thou suck.

'Luck is my middle name,' said Rincewind, indistinctly. 'Mind you, my first name is Bad.'
[p. 102]

I say: We all have our lot in life. More often that not, shit luck follows our backsides.

'Long Live The Changing Things To A More Equitable State While Retaining Due Respect For The Traditions Of Our Forebears And Of Course Not Harming The August Personage Of The Emperor Endeavour!'
[p. 103, revolution in Agatean]

I say: Is that being said by Borat himself?

'It's a lovely morning, lads,' he said. 'I feel like a million dollars. Don't you?'
There was a murmur of reluctant agreement.
'Good,' said Cohen. 'Let's go and get some.'
[p. 115}

I say: Do not goad a poor man who can afford to laugh at himself. More often than not, you might be dumber than you look depending on your decisions in life.

'I'll tell you this!' shouted Rincewind. 'I'd rather trust me than history! Oh, shit, did I just say that?'
[p. 155]

I say: Hypocrisy starts with personal stupidity. Only a chosen few can truly utilize it against the rest.

'Pcharn'kov!' Footnote: 'Your feet shall be cut off and be buried several yards from your body so your ghost won't walk.'
[p. 159]

I say: You won't see a superstitious fella laughing at this. Which means I must have been someone far worse.

'They say that whoever pays the piper calls the tune.'
'But, gentlemen,' said Mr Saveloy, 'whoever holds a knife to the piper's throat writes the symphony.'
[p. 171]

I say: Is it any wonder that Ronald Saveloy's nickname is "Teach"? A certain abang pak-cik told me that there's a difference between a clever person and an intelligent person. Just don't ask me which end I belong to. We all know what happened to Ronald "Teach" Saveloy. DX

'Have you lost your senses?'
'Yes, but I may have found some better ones.'
[p. 276, Six Beneficent Winds and Mr Saveloy]

I say: Don't we all love that experience called life?

'If you sow dragons' teeth, you should get dragons. Not fighting skeletons. What did it say on the packet?'
'I don't know! The myth never said anything about them coming in a packet!'
'Should have said "Comes up Dragons" on the packet.'
[p. 315, Caleb and Mr Saveloy argue about the Argonauts]

I say: Rules are to be obeyed, not worshiped.

'I thought we could do it without anyone getting hurt. By using our brains.'
'Can't. History don't work like that. Blood first, then brains.'
'Mountains of skulls,' said Truckle.
'There's got to be a better way than fighting,' said Mr Saveloy.
'Yep. Lots of 'em. Only none of 'em work.'
[p. 325, Cohen's historical philosophy]

I say: Amazingly enough, tactics and strategy involve brainwork as well. The scariest part? Blood and brains follow soon after. X.X

'Oh, I never play to win.' She smiled. 'But I do play not to lose.'
[p. 346, the Lady explains her philosophy]

I say: If you can put forth such words, it means you're either totally off your rocker or you're too laidback to even bother about things that can't be changed.

P.S: Credit should go to Super Freakonomics. Now if only I can finish that damned book despite years after buying it. But at least I know it takes just 10 seconds of lapse to create a major disaster in any given surgery.

[1]: Weirdly enough, Tom Clancy might have been honoured here.
[2]: There are two ways to go on a holiday. Either in private or in the news.
[3]: There's a famous term called "swing states". It's the bane of every political media.

Part 2 of my BB OST post

Let's put this on scheduled mode...

Can't be bothered to say anything bar all things BlazBlue...

VS Themes

Kanzen Shouri=WTF WAS THAT???