Moral of the story?
Say NO to apathy, but YES to empathy.
Group B
Reino de España
Talk cock intro: Crowned three times as La Rey de Europa (1964, 2008, 2012) and glorified once as La Rey del Mundo (2010), La Furia Roja will be the team to beat, NOT Brazil. Previously ridiculed as the Cardiff City of world football, Luis "tell that negro de mierda that you are much better than him" Aragonés managed to perform a feat no other predecessors had ever done. From pretendientes to campeones, I believe many English folks would find that hard to stomach. [1]
Implementing what many billed as tiki-taka, perhaps not many fans actually realised Aragonés to be some naturalised white Brazilian. Indeed prior to his appointment, Spain would always run the risk of getting out-muscled and overpowered. Arguably true in saying so, La Furia Roja never had a brand of football called its own until post-2006. A lot has been said on the Spanish being perennial chokers despite boasting many ball phenoms, tiki-taka IS the reason why Spain was able to end its title drought since 1964.
After Luis "tell that negro de mierda that you are much better than him" Aragonés, we got Vicente "tell that El Dinero that I am much more intelligent than him" del Bosque. A lot had been said on El Zorro killing off Spanish football, but we need to get our facts right firstly and foremost. There are two types of tiki-taka: the Aragonés brand and del Bosque brand.
One interesting difference between the two lies in Aragonés being a striker during his playing years and del Bosque being a defensive midfielder as a player. As someone in a postion used to scoring (and quite likely to create some as well), 'tis natural to discern attacking tiki-taka as Aragonés' trademark. As someone more familiar with defending, del Bosque's modification lies in defensive possession rather than bossing the ball forward. [2]
I'll make no bones about this-La Furia Española will once again build their momentum upon an impressive CV preceding themselves.
La responsabilidad: A lot has been said on Latin climate remaining unchanged most likely, del Bosque's only worry lies in whether his charges will abruptly become Cardiff City all over again. A lot will be said on an aging generation made in gold, King Midas's greatest enemy is himself. [3]
If del Bosque decides to play that brand of tiki-taka which got him into El Dinero's cross hairs last time round, then be very sure that only a massive global cooling can scupper whatever strategy and tactics planned beforehand.
Prediction: I dare say this myself-whoever playing in that false No.9 role will be Cesc "Noi de Catalunya" Fàbregas himself. To ensure any semblance of tiki-taka stability, there MUST be 100% stability in terms of ball retention. In short, limpeh is talking about that one man tasked with dictating tempo with the ball.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Sara Carbonero (plus her first kid) |
Nederland
Talk cock intro: This is a nation quite famous for many thing apart from football. From Den Haag to the well equipped Dutch maidens, from the red end of Amsterdam to legal weed and euthanasia considered equally legal, surely the Oranje would not want implosion to sully their national repute. [4] The closest shot the Netherlands ever had was World Cup 2010.
If you think this is ironic, then you've yet to see the real deal. After all those years of inter-wrangling football, perhaps we've yet to see the last of Marco "kenna cui" [5] van Basten. But lol no! SC Heerenveen tan-dio, van Basten still there. With Louis "Robben benci" van Gaal at the helm, one could have easily worried sick for Arjen "that Dutch Spock" Robben. Ask every Bavarian and he/she will have many stories to tell about Robben, Müller and Ribéry. At the epicentre lies van Gaal, shit happens.
De bewijslast: Will van Gaal stumble the same way his predecessors did? Out of every coach bossing the Oranje, only van Basten was able to tame a dressing room full of talented egos. One of my online friends, Tur even made no bones over the fact that implosion=24/7 probability. [6] Despite whatever negative talk bandied around Bert "laojiao" van Marwijk's tactics, one thing remains unchanged about the Oranje. Total Football pioneered by the great genius Rinus "dunno who" Michels and championed by the most notable Johan "you know who" Cruyff.
Let it be said that totaalvoetbal is NOT about attacking football. It's about having 10 players capable of playing in ANY position nearby. Creativity=a must, but superior footballing brain=fundamental. Unlike the school of tiki-taka which places much more emphasis on ball control, totaalvoetbal is all about 1 ball vs 10 human beings. In short, it's 100% movement, both off ball and with the ball.
Prediction: Pretty sure van Gaal will be telling his charges to play smart instead of cheong-suah. Stamina wise, European teams are no match for their Latin counterparts and we all know where is Brazil. The Oranje won't have the kind of tactical advantage Spain will undoubtedly enjoy, let alone their country not being part of the Iberian Peninsula. I believe everything will go bottoms up, i.e. patient offensive build up from the back complete with sudden wtf moments. Either that or entire dressing room go tits up.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Sippora Zoutewelle |
República de Chile
Talk cock intro: That consistent kid on the Latin block, this is how I'll describe Chile. Boasting a frightening array of creative weapons, will 2014 be their moment? During the last 2-3 years, I believe we've all witnesses how Chile managed to establish itself as a resurgent powerhouse. You see, while it has yet to win a World Cup, earning a top 4 finish in 19 editions of the Copa America should be a major statement of consistent class. Out of aforementioned 19 times, the Red Hot Chilean Peppers managed to secure 2nd place 4 times.
Sadly, tragedy afflicted the team from 1990 to 1994. Ironically, it was Brazil causing Chile's misery. [7] I can assure every neutral that 2014 will be much better than 2010. At least it will be interesting to see how Chile will react towards playing in a familiar territory, i.e. the Estádio do Maracanã.
Yes, my fellow observers. Revenge will be very much in the Chileans' agenda, surely this team will be out to hurt Brazil in a fair and square manner. Ranked no.4 in the FIFA ranking, Chile double confirm is now on a major mission to prove every sceptic horribly wrong.
La responsabilidad: The most interesting part about Latin football is the fact that all nations are either ex-Spanish colonies or ex-Portuguese colonies. As such, Chile will be fighting against that opponent they'll jolly well be suited for. Their head coach, Jorge "not Chilean" Sampaoli is actually Argentine, so chances are that he's also quite familiar with Argentine football. Something that will serve the team well if the Red Hot Chilean Peppers manage to take on that certain one man team. The only worry Chile might be facing is complacency. Sampaoli needs to drill constant humility in this team if the Chileans want to go far. Given that they may play Brazil very soon, any victory against Spain shouldn't be over hyped.
Prediction: I loathe to play the actual pundit, but Chile will be in a very strong position to qualify. Bookmaking odds will most likely put Spain and Holland as top favourites to progress, but rarely will the bookies play according to honour. There is a very good reason why chronic gambling will always land decent people and loving families in hot water. O$P$ and Bedok Reservoir are merely the effects behind the cause. If you think you're smarter than the bookies, then you're a talking sheep.
So why would I put Chile under the favourite tags? First, the climate. Chile won't have any issues with that due to the glaring obvious. Secondly, being used to their local weather will mean a massive tactical advantage. Against La Furia Roja, they can afford to harass and force the opponent to cede possession. Against the Oranje, they are capable of worse, i.e. exploiting plenty of space and breaking up play all over the middle 3rd. Alexis "I troll Engrand" Sanchez might be their star man, but the Red Hot Chilean Peppers will surely be able to launch devastating aggro from their dynamic midfield buildup.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Marie Ann Salas |
Commonwealth of Australia
Talk cock intro: Sorry AnalAlex, I can only think of this clip.
The onus: Changing your head coach/manager only after successful qualification? I don't know what was going on behind the scene, but surely the power brokers at FFA know what they are doing. Sadly, I can't convince myself to be this optimistic. The buggers at FFA are taking a massive gamble if 2014 should be their magic 4D hor-beh. Sadly, I firmly believe everything will become hor-beh boh-ki.
Prediction: Ange Postecoglou will have his job cut out for him. The Socceroos are fast becoming aging tak-kiu-roos. Mark "Boro's finest best" Schwarzer is already 41. Even if he's there as a backup keeper, surely this is merely one of many ominous signs pointing to a massive decline! imo, Postecoglou must cast his sight 2-3 years in advance. 2014 will end up as heartbreak for the Socceroos, but it's not really over for them. Apart from Rhys "double confirm I hate Foster's" Williams, sure there must be hungry players young enough to carry the future's banner. Yet, it should be stated that Brazil must NOT be seen as some abattoir owned by local Latinos. Yes, I know South Americans enjoy having their meat grilled and juicy, but this is no excuse for any takers to enjoy barbecued kangaroo meat. [8]
If the FFA has any semblance of sportsmen pride (which to be fair, I firmly believe so), they must act decisively. I know Gibbo had made some horrible decisions due to his insistence on stability, but at least he's not afraid to order a stay in execution unless finally proven wrong.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Hanna Griffiths |
To be cont'd...
Next up-Group C
[1]: C'mon mates, that's N years ago. Even Eto'o wasn't spared last time round.
[2]: Ever wondered how Southampton manage to fly so high atm?
[4]: Surprisingly though, the faith of R'hllor might have its own roots in Nederland.
[5]: Singlish. Nothing to do with a certain Harry Cui (in)famous for being a literal(?) wanker(?).
[6]: Although to be honest, Tur had already gone MIA online for N ages.
[7]: Important trivia, folks.
[8]: This comes to mind my secondary school field trip to Perth where I remembered eating emu sausages and actual kangaroo meat. That was during June 1997 plus the headmaster of some school we went to being an Arsenal Gooner. Now if only I can recall/meet that hot blond girl once again. Cara, at least I still remember your name.
[7]: Important trivia, folks.
[8]: This comes to mind my secondary school field trip to Perth where I remembered eating emu sausages and actual kangaroo meat. That was during June 1997 plus the headmaster of some school we went to being an Arsenal Gooner. Now if only I can recall/meet that hot blond girl once again. Cara, at least I still remember your name.
No comments:
Post a Comment