Sadly, some ppl just dun have a sense of humour and I'm not talking abt your stereotypical S'porean.
A/N: Our cubs got held to a 1-1 draw against 10 men Laos. I must have committed at least one mortal sin to implicate both my nation and my beloved Boro.
2nd A/N: To further compound my sinful persona, I decided not to do any pundit's prediction. Instead, I'll (try to) choose to satisfy every would-be FHM'er.
Group A
República Federativa do Brasil
Talk cock intro: The nation having won the most number of World Cup tourneys, is it any wonder why pundits, neutral and fans alike are all hoping for glory lima? We have to admit it though, that this Brazilian team is nowhere near the very best this proud footballing nation had ever produced. Die hard fans can tell you all their ah-kong stories spanning from Pele, Zico and Sócrates to the class of 94 and Ronaldinho's era. I still remember clearly that I've got a classmate in primary 6 where I asked this bugger:
Wee Seng: I support Argentina!
Me: Then what about Romario?
Wee Seng: Romario siliao lah!
I kid you all not, this incident really happened. Yes, I know I look a bit like some Asian bannerman of House Stark, but just let it rest, okay? Oh, and one more thing. I remembered calling a certain Longan a Brazilian during my secondary school years. NPCC had gotta be my only consolation during my 4-5 years of social exile. Apologies for major digression here.
As it turned out, a team teeming with players like Romario, Bebeto and Roberto "keng jio kiu" Carlos managed to win the title for the 3rd time. At the expense of Roberto "pah jiao" Baggio no less.
From there onward, Canarinho managed to win 2 more World Cup titles before one particular abang from class 94 managed to shoot down every samba bird. Yes, Dunga will be remembered unless you don't know a shit about football.
Important cock: Will Luiz Felipe Scolari deliver the nation once more? 2001 will be remembered fondly for all the correct reasons, none of them having to do with Romario kenna chee. Unfancied throughout the tournament, Verde-Amarela managed to earn a brand new nickname: Pentacampeões. That was before Dunga managed to become that pah jiao king of football.
However, let this be known from limpeh here: Brazil will be fighting an uphill battle, no matter what. Yes, we know they have world class players like Neymar, Paulinho and Thiago "I no Maradona why Barton hate me?" Silva. Pressure comes from within, the players will definitely be their worst enemy. Let alone Felipão Big Phil himself.
Lose one match=kenna chee by media and fans.
Draw one match=kenna chee by fans and media.
Title enam tak boleh=kenna chee by entire nation.
Lose one match=kenna chee by media and fans.
Draw one match=kenna chee by fans and media.
Title enam tak boleh=kenna chee by entire nation.
O ônus: Tactics and strategy is no longer the key to make or break. Historically, talented individuals would always have a lower level of mental fortitude. Players at their very best would be those like Messi, Maradona, the 2 Ronaldos and Zizou. At their very worst, we'll be talking about something the Oranje and Les Bleus are most (in)famous for.
Prediction: Brazil will most likely adopt a 4-2-3-1 nine tries out of ten. Big Phil is no moron, he knows playing 4-3-3 will constitute a major risk when it comes to conceding unwanted goals during unwanted moments. 4-2-3-1 is a more systematic variation of 4-3-3 where tactical versatility is the reason why so many teams are now ripping off Jogi. [1]
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Stephanie Vanessa Fantauzzi |
Republika Hrvatska
Important cock: 1998 was the Croatians' finest moment. Only missing out on World Cup 2010 and Euro 2000, dismiss them at your own peril. Football is rarely about theory and paper talk whenever cup tournaments are concerned.
Case(s) in point: the Brazilian class of 2002 and Azzurri 2006.
Yes, Croatia won't win the World Cup next year, but do NOT discount this team of fighters distributing Christmas gifts a few months in advance.
Teret: Given the sensitivity surrounding a certain Mario "trollolol" Balotelli, the first thing Croatia needs to do is to ensure the team don't become the bad guys once again. Yes, no team should be blamed for having fans acting like donkey dicks, but since we're talking about football...
Prediction: I'll be the first one to admit knowing nothing next to shit about Croatia apart from that trolling guy upstairs and Davor "I score with honour" Šuker. At most, I can only assure every observer that Croatia will be that all rounder team of Group A. Not to mention they'll most likely favour a physical game mixed with a dash of flair.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Petra Cicvarić |
Estados Unidos Mexicanos
La responsabilidad: Is there anything I've yet to cover apart from whatever stated above? All the talk on America bless Mexico is bullshit if you ever bothered asking any aficionado al fútbol with hot Mexican blood. There has been a lot of shenanigans going in between [4] and this is also a country rifted apart by guns, drug cartels and chronic corruption. The Mexicans could have gone full cynical, but they ended being 10 x happier than your happiest Sing-kar-poh-lang. In short, Mexico has nothing next to shit if we're talking about stress and pressure.
Prediction: Quite likely that most unpredictable of the four. You can be very sure El Tricolor will give their best shot in proving their football instead of themselves. KPI is an unfamiliar territory for these amigos, we can be very sure the only bastardo they're out to wedgie will be their good friend up north. Prepare to see plenty of flamboyance and attacking verve tantamount to daredevil football.
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Maité Perroni |
République du Cameroun
Talking cock intro: Is this a team of lions or a team of purring pussy cats now? Nicknamed Les Lions Indomptables, this is a footballing nation in arid Africa qualifying a whopping seven times for the World Cup. At the same time, this is also the first African team surpassing the continental divide so as to speak. [5] The only problem? They only made it out of the group stage once, the rest lonzong pua toh.
Le fardeau de la preuve: The rise of numerous African powers means Cameroon can no longer use history as an excuse. The Cameroonians will have zero expectations this time round given the quality of Brazil, Croatia and even Mexico. On paper the weakest team, but will that be enough to see them losing match after match?
Prediction: If you got nothing to lose, it means you're all fired up to play yolo football. [6] African football prides itself in speed and physique. At the same time, African nations are beginning to prove themselves beyond their own backyard. This can only bode well for the future, but definitely not in time for 2014 if we're talking about long suffering Cameroon. Come 2016 however, we may end up seeing a new chapter for Les Lions Indomptables. Who knows?
Who I'd like to see in her national colours
 |
| Mingana Fochive Danielle Frankie |
To be cont'd...
Next up-Group B
[1]: Arguably made famous during Euro 2012.
[2]: An issue exacerbated by some Mastretta of Mexican nationality.
[3]: No, I'm not talking about anything else apart from stuff like burritos and tacos. I'm saving my future for a special girl, whoever and wherever she is.
[4]: The Wall and Arizona state. Not to mention illegal immigrants classified as political hot potatoes.
[5]: That other team of Lions will know what I'm talking about.
[6]: Ian "Mad Ian" Holloway for Cameroon?
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