That Random Blade: Kenna (un)banned...

~~For no reason at all. Apparently, being a harmless human being in reality has its horrendous flaws unless you're equally docile in RL.~~ But no matter what, at least it's good to do something constructive.

A/N: Due to a sudden surge in whimsical urge, I decided to do a footie post. All in all, this will entail 1 WC team in red and 1 sad bastard team in red.

Pointless note: Lately, it seems that a certain somebody is getting death threats from some unknown son of a bitch unseen. 'Nuff said.

That lucky WC team

대한민국

Talk cock intro: Many will always remember South Korea for its vibrant entertainment circuit capable of throwing a curve ball or two. Footballing wise, the Koreans never had any big to cheer about unless we're talking about 1966 where it's a case of O Rei [1] vs 애국가. Come 2002, however, the Koreans finally got their biggest break. Many a romantic will still cry tears of patriotism over how the Taegeuk Warriors managed to pull one over the likes of La Furia Roja [2] and the Azzurri [3]. Yet, I believe the most understated achievement ever done was to one-up their most hated regional rival, Japan. Remember folks, 2002 was a joint venture between two nations with plenty of historical bad blood ever since Toyotomi Hideyoshi decided to park his Momoyama armada right at the Korean people's face. [4] In fact, 'tis a miracle to hear nary a Korean drinking song over such an over-achievement post 10 yrs later.

Sadly, 2002 would always remain as a one off, for times have changed. For one, La Furia Roja are currently Los Campeones 2010 with Pentacampeões being that fancied challenger. Then we also have the Azzurri proving every neutral pessimist and ardent hater wrong time and again. Coupled with the fact that サムライ・ブルー are still churning out flair players on a consistent basis, the future looks a tad too bleak for the Taeguek banner. [5] Or is it?

Of late, it seems that the Korean production line has came up with a few interesting names. Granted you'll never see a Kagawa "Evil Kagawa" Shinji or Honda "Civic" Keisuke, let alone Nakata "Cavaliere di Roma" Hidetoshi [6], but seeing how a certain Son "der Sohn" Heung-Min managed to seize the Fußball-Bundesliga by storm must have warmed the cockles of a certain Hong "화성" Myung-Bo's heart. [7]

무거운 짐: What must Hong-hyung do to make things work? I don't mean qualifying for last 16, but rather trying to make the most of every little thing. In football, there is little to no margin for error. Smash-and-grab victories were rightfully called so for a very good reason. For the Taegeuk Warriors, one little cock up can easily mean a three to four goal trashing.

Numero uno-Taegeukseong must NEVER be breached. The one thing Taegeuk Warriors are so proud of is their midfield, this being the reason why their national tenacity trumps even that of their Japanese counterparts. The interesting part about Korean history is that this is a people most used to getting invaded left, right and centre. Once you managed to invoke a nation's anger, be very sure that Liam Neeson will turn Korean.

Numero dos-will the real Lee "lol St George?" Chung-Yong please stand up? If this was to be some X-Men plot, then it's high time to see Scott Summers leading the line. Grabbing the game by its bollocks is suicide, how [8] Chung-Yong anchors the ball will go a long way in deciding which way the match swings.

Numero tres-Park "not Linkin' Park" Chu-Young, your mother country needs you now more than ever.

Prediction: Lagi slim chances of reaching last 16, but one does not simply diss a nation of zealots. You can be pretty sure the Taeguek Warriors will take one match at a time, 90 mins plus stoppage of nonstop tenacity at a time.

Who I'd like to see in her national colours

That Sad Bastard Team

Talk cock intro: We're hitting rock bottom now. Or is it? Not so surprisingly, Aitor "Amigo del Noreste" Karanka managed to pull off yet another shocker. After signing some unknown lad from Real Madrid Castilla, a certain Lee "not Tomlinson" Tomlin decided to go 3.5 yrs permanent. Considering we've just signed that bloke on loan while living off match suspension, that's truly a shocker.

Against Wigan, we couldn't find a way through a middle 5.
Against Blackburn, we couldn't find a way through Paul "Budgie no deshi" Robinson.
Against Watford, we got undone by friendly fire amounting to 2 moments of madness from the same guy. [9]

Against them ****ing dirty Leeds, what can we do?

Firstly, let's give credit where it's due. Brian "the Cinderella Man" McDermott has truly transform a team wracked by internal problems rather than on the pitch. While it's relatively easy to fix Neil "talking cock" Warnock's mess, the slightest cock up would also mean a potential backlash from the stands. Make no mistakes about it. The Leeds job ain't the worst shit possible in football management, but one wrong step in handling the dressing room could spell fatal. This is where McDermott made his mark. Like his incumbent counterpart, he's been there and done that in terms of Championship football. Yet, his ability to inspire any half-arsed dressing room is there for all to see. It's relatively easy to say Reading should sack him last season, but look where are the Royals now? Only 8 pts ahead with one more match alrdy played.

Tactically wise, McDermott also succeeded where Warnock had failed so horribly. When he realised his 3-5-2/5-3-2 won't work a shit throughout 46 fixtures, bloke switched to a 4-5-1 formation that somehow managed to work wonders once again.

So how does his 4-5-1 work exactly? A certain Ross "not McCormick" McCormack is again at the tactical core. We're pretty much butt hurt over the supposed fact that McCormack rebuffed our offer. [10] However, I'd have to say he made the right choice. Within the English footballing culture, the most likely candidate to skipper his team would always be either a CB or CM. Players capable of leading a flat line of 3-4 blokes clustered together. Not so for McCormack. By giving him the armband, it merely means McDermott trusting him equally much as how the late titan Sir Matt Busby trusted a certain George "best of Belfast" Best.

By granting McCormack the freedom to roam off-ball, his gaffer's decision merely affirms this Border Reiver's greatest gift-intelligent movement, positioning and a good first touch.

The onus: Key to victory would be doing something about McDermott's middle 5. If 3-5-2 and 5-3-2 doesn't work, it merely means there are other ways to create a flat 5. Devoting attention to McCormack would be outright fatal, for he's not the kind of player to stand at one spot and anchor play. One does not simply say McDermott has 12 million quids to spend.

I believe McDermott's strategy is very simple. To utilise how high McCormack plays as an indicator on how far the midfield will press. In order to do so in devastating effect, two conditions must be fulfilled:

1. McCormack must NOT get the ball.

2. McCormack must NOT make the first move.

Only once Leeds start their merry middle press will McCormack start to make his move. In short, his chances of banging in goals hinges directly on whether the midfield would be fast enough to disrupt us from playing the ball forward.

So how should we go about neutralising this threat? My suggestion is very simple, yet terribly batshit insane.

Split them down the middle, either pressure their back 4 or (even better) pin them back from the middle.

Who I'd like to see as our match winner