Kork.M.Hancock, Rogue Economist: How Sex, Violence and Family Values affect the global economy (Part 2)

Last minute notice

The entire column should have been finished by this post, but due to physical fatigue induced somehow, the columnist in question has to drag the whole damned thing by one more part. We view this issue very seriously and hence, Kork.M.Hancock was given an ultimatum to either:

A. Go find a worthy girlfriend, whoever that unlucky girl may be

B. If he still remains single and no girlfriend since birth, be very assured that the institute will find other ways to resolve this problem, no matter the price and cost.

~Sincerely yours, Rogue Economy Insitute

Signed by High Dean, Highest Prof Simisai

So does Violence have anything to do with Masala?

Scarily enough, the answer might be yes. Now there's no intention to fan racial hatred because when we say Masala, it's not just the spice. Rather, we're gonna talk about the Republic of Masala. Now this is an extremely interesting country to explore. As of late, a lot of media attention is being cast upon this country for the past few weeks until recently.

So what's Masala famous for? One word: Spices. Ninety percent of the spice trade originates from this little country in the South Asian sub-continent, but the economic structure is truly dodgy. Simply put, the Republic actually adopts a dual currency system. Because there's so much leftover harvest, the truly poor are being paid with a bag of spices while the truly rich actually reaped the cash. So now comes the biggest question: Is there truly a certain demand for the spices in Masala itself? The answer should be most obviously no.

Now if you're one of the poor, would you be able to sell your spices for money? If you're one of the rich, surely you can buy something the poor has crafted for a cutthroat price. Now let this be known: The poor have to hunt, farm, and craft in addition to sustain their livelihood. It's not just spices, mind you.

And now let's talk about violence. The reason why recent weeks have Masala as the top search term online is down to a case of gang rape committed by a group of rich boys against an unmarried daughter from a poor family. Not surprisingly, the local law enforcers never did anything to apprehend the culprits and the incident should have been buried under the carpet. Of course, no one should dictate that major consumers of alcohol should display any semblances of intellect and boasting about your glory since being three quarter drunk is a recipe for trouble. Especially if you're in a slum. I'd like to go a wee bit more detailed on the process, but suffice to say, it's not really nice getting your own corpse gang raped after being lynched on the spot. Figuratively speaking of course since once dead, forever dead.

And now comes the best part of them all. Nationwide riots became a daily fixture and global economy suffered as a result due to its monopoly in the spice trade. Prime Minister Sol Badh declared a state of emergency to no avail because the poor far outnumbered the rich. In the end, the parliament opted to open up the country's reserves just to appease these angry majority and the issue finally died down slowly. Of course by then, no one actually questioned how hot was the correct victim since the media never followed up further, but that's besides the point.

Point is, Masala was forced to undergo a financial crunch and from thereon, three lessons in economy should be learnt:

1. Wealth gap exist all over the globe in varying extent, but this fact should not be used as an excuse to hijack your own economy in the long run.

2. Seemingly minor things have major repercussions more often than not. But of course this is something for every government to chew about.

3. If your country has a low crime rate, keep up the good work and reward those who have truly earned their credit. If it's the exact opposite, please don't be so stupid to pay off everybody with a bag of spices each.

And to cap this part off, let me quote a certain Dave Petal, formerly from Republic of Masala and now permanently based here:

"When I first won the inaugural Who Wants to be a Masala Millionaire, I thought I was living in a joke. It turned out not to be so, because the organizer was a kind hearted philanthropist who died shortly after I won my first million bucks. As if dictated by my murdered father now up above, the kindly 'uncle' actually made me his sole beneficiary of his entire fortune. I knew I couldn't live there anymore because certain people were being dicks and I felt helpless towards all my fellow poor truly in need. You can say that I came here to escape at first, but now I know that such an event won't happen in this country. Because the police here are paid with money, not some Masala mix."

To be continued...